Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[bimmerman]

7 hours ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

I’d love to say I’m having a loving and relaxed Christmas back home, but I’ve been told to stay in my room until Christmas Eve in case I caught anything out on the town last night?

I mean,I'm not sure you should be broadcasting that your mum's scared of catching STDs off you but it takes all sorts I suppose

[Dean (hick) Saunders]

8 hours ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

I’d love to say I’m having a loving and relaxed Christmas back home, but I’ve been told to stay in my room until Christmas Eve in case I caught anything out on the town last night?

I am in “your Mam” role here as my eldest daughter was painting the town Red this weekend. Any advice welcomed…

[DarkFruitsRam7]

2 minutes ago, Dean (hick) Saunders said:

I am in “your Mam” role here as my eldest daughter was painting the town Red this weekend. Any advice welcomed…

I’ve been told I’m allowed out if I get a negative PCR test. That might be an agreeable solution.

[sage]

15 hours ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

I’ve been told I’m allowed out if I get a negative PCR test. That might be an agreeable solution.

Your Mum should be running the country. We'd have hardly any cases. 

[Anag Ram]

On 19/12/2021 at 09:09, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

I’d love to say I’m having a loving and relaxed Christmas back home, but I’ve been told to stay in my room until Christmas Eve in case I caught anything out on the town last night?

So for the first time she’d rather you be scratching than coughing?

[cstand]

[Day]

Can't wait to see the back of this year. Will say now I'm ok, but it's been a challenging year, starting out with Derby going into admin.

Broken foot makes you realise how much you need both your feet

Next up both sisters and partners testing positive for Covid, little sister has been hit pretty hard.

Out of isolation period but still having breathing issues.

Next up Mum has also tested positive, home alone for Christmas, not a lot I can do other than FaceTime. Luckily she's not been hit hard by it, first couple of days were rough but quickly recovered.

Was due down for the first family Christmas my side for years, that was cancelled with my mum still isolating until next weekend.

Now the hammer blow, Leanne's sister in law found out this week she has 5 months to live, been having tests for pains, was suspected kidney stones, came back she has kidney cancer which has spread to her lungs.

Tomorrow is now billed as the "last time Christmas" for her whilst her other brother was sectioned again at the weekend. Believes Adele is in there with him. 

Football has become secondary at the minute, but not lost on me that the clubs future is in serious doubt.

Roll on 2022

[angieram]

53 minutes ago, David said:

Can't wait to see the back of this year. Will say now I'm ok, but it's been a challenging year, starting out with Derby going into admin.

Broken foot makes you realise how much you need both your feet

Next up both sisters and partners testing positive for Covid, little sister has been hit pretty hard.

Out of isolation period but still having breathing issues.

Next up Mum has also tested positive, home alone for Christmas, not a lot I can do other than FaceTime. Luckily she's not been hit hard by it, first couple of days were rough but quickly recovered.

Was due down for the first family Christmas my side for years, that was cancelled with my mum still isolating until next weekend.

Now the hammer blow, Leanne's sister in law found out this week she has 5 months to live, been having tests for pains, was suspected kidney stones, came back she has kidney cancer which has spread to her lungs.

Tomorrow is now billed as the "last time Christmas" for her whilst her other brother was sectioned again at the weekend. Believes Adele is in there with him. 

Football has become secondary at the minute, but not lost on me that the clubs future is in serious doubt.

Roll on 2022

What a poo year you're having, David. Just be there for each other and stay strong.  Make the most of the times you have together with family while you can. 

Take some time out for yourselves, too. ?

[Rev]

43 minutes ago, angieram said:

Take some time out for yourselves, too.

I'd second this advice @David, make sure you look after yourself and your better half well, so you can look after others around you too.

 

 

[Bob The Badger]

11 hours ago, David said:

Can't wait to see the back of this year. Will say now I'm ok, but it's been a challenging year, starting out with Derby going into admin.

Broken foot makes you realise how much you need both your feet

Next up both sisters and partners testing positive for Covid, little sister has been hit pretty hard.

Out of isolation period but still having breathing issues.

Next up Mum has also tested positive, home alone for Christmas, not a lot I can do other than FaceTime. Luckily she's not been hit hard by it, first couple of days were rough but quickly recovered.

Was due down for the first family Christmas my side for years, that was cancelled with my mum still isolating until next weekend.

Now the hammer blow, Leanne's sister in law found out this week she has 5 months to live, been having tests for pains, was suspected kidney stones, came back she has kidney cancer which has spread to her lungs.

Tomorrow is now billed as the "last time Christmas" for her whilst her other brother was sectioned again at the weekend. Believes Adele is in there with him. 

Football has become secondary at the minute, but not lost on me that the clubs future is in serious doubt.

Roll on 2022

Jeez, and I was just whining because it's raining and I have to take the dogs out.

Very sorry to hear all that, I hope things pick up in massively in 2022.

FWIW, I have heard countless stories from the wife about patients being put on palliative care and being give this or that amount of time and totally blowing through it by many months and sometimes years.

 

[Mucker1884]

12 hours ago, David said:

Can't wait to see the back of this year. Will say now I'm ok, but it's been a challenging year, starting out with Derby going into admin.

Broken foot makes you realise how much you need both your feet

Next up both sisters and partners testing positive for Covid, little sister has been hit pretty hard.

Out of isolation period but still having breathing issues.

Next up Mum has also tested positive, home alone for Christmas, not a lot I can do other than FaceTime. Luckily she's not been hit hard by it, first couple of days were rough but quickly recovered.

Was due down for the first family Christmas my side for years, that was cancelled with my mum still isolating until next weekend.

Now the hammer blow, Leanne's sister in law found out this week she has 5 months to live, been having tests for pains, was suspected kidney stones, came back she has kidney cancer which has spread to her lungs.

Tomorrow is now billed as the "last time Christmas" for her whilst her other brother was sectioned again at the weekend. Believes Adele is in there with him. 

Football has become secondary at the minute, but not lost on me that the clubs future is in serious doubt.

Roll on 2022

Sorry to read all that, buddy.

We're not having the best of times here either, but it ain't in your league, and we now have more positives than negatives to keep our chins up.

Fingers crossed that things soon start to pick up for you all.
Don't worry about this place, or DCFC either.  Family and loved ones first... always.

Best wishes.
xxx

[Dean (hick) Saunders]

22 hours ago, David said:

Can't wait to see the back of this year. Will say now I'm ok, but it's been a challenging year, starting out with Derby going into admin.

Broken foot makes you realise how much you need both your feet

Next up both sisters and partners testing positive for Covid, little sister has been hit pretty hard.

Out of isolation period but still having breathing issues.

Next up Mum has also tested positive, home alone for Christmas, not a lot I can do other than FaceTime. Luckily she's not been hit hard by it, first couple of days were rough but quickly recovered.

Was due down for the first family Christmas my side for years, that was cancelled with my mum still isolating until next weekend.

Now the hammer blow, Leanne's sister in law found out this week she has 5 months to live, been having tests for pains, was suspected kidney stones, came back she has kidney cancer which has spread to her lungs.

Tomorrow is now billed as the "last time Christmas" for her whilst her other brother was sectioned again at the weekend. Believes Adele is in there with him. 

Football has become secondary at the minute, but not lost on me that the clubs future is in serious doubt.

Roll on 2022

Sorry to hear about your recent stresses.

Despite the ?video quality this always cheers me up… Went to matches with my dad through Jim Smith era seeing better footy, but this is the season that I remember more fondly as we got to got to Wembley together and see us win. He died a few years later but the memories are still great from this time.

COYR.

Edited December 25, 2021 by Dean (hick) Saunders

[marbs_ram]

Hi all am posting this in the hope that maybe it hopes one or two people if they need. In a nutshell, my story is...20 years ago move to uni and get hit in my mind with ridiculous amounts of anxiety only for reason of lifestyle change... Vomiting every morning, panic attacks, can't think straight, depression, even bored of dcfc! Don't know what the hell is going on but seems like I'm going mad. As time goes on I lose sense of life having meaning and feel total detached from life. Start questioning existence and does anything really matter. Become paranoid that I'll just throw myself of a bridge or panicking that I'll hurt someone just because I have no feelings and feel like I'm insane... Totally against my real personality by the way...and seems so absurd that I don't tell anyone. Become obsessively worried about these thoughts. Go to doctors maybe 16 years ago and get ssri medication like Prozac etc...tried them all and non worked just made me tired. So after a few years I give up with doctors and medication. Just try to live my life and adapt and come. Try religion, doesn't help. Try meditation, makes me worse. Exercise, makes me worse. Working all hours obsessively quite helpful because no time to think of owt else. Symptoms wax and wane. But when not busy in holidays have total crisis and obsessive thoughts and depression totally out of control. Awful. Taken over life completely. I decide to see a psychiatrist I loosely know. Swallow my pride. Had done talk therapy before...not helped. Told psychiatrist medication waste of time, and what should I do. She gave me low dose of a medication called anafranil for OCD and one for depression called tryptizol. Drugs from 1950s users if Prozac etc doesn't work. Got to tell u, the change has been incredible. For first time in 20 years I can relax, feel happy in my own skin, enjoy simple things like sitting on a chair with a cuppa, don't have OCD thoughts, mind feels stimulation when not busy as opposed to switching off and going into depression. I wake up and feel great. The point of this is, if u feel terrible and nothing helps, try to find a psychiatrist who helps u because the effect it can have is massive and turn life around. Don't suffer in silence, see a professional!

[Scott129]

Reviving this thread just to vent really.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. Since then, he's lost a ton of weight and has essentially stopped eating. So much so, he's ended up in the hospital receiving fluids today, and has an operation scheduled for next week.

My mental health has never been the best but, for obvious reasons, it has taken an absolute battering over the last few weeks. I'm struggling to sleep most nights and often find myself getting distracted thinking about worst-case scenarios.

What's more, I've not really had the chance to talk about it with anyone. Or maybe I have and I just don't know how to approach or take that opportunity. I actually feel like family members are trying to skirt round the issue to protect me a little bit. Are they waiting for me to go to them? Do I even want to address it directly?

And, for the life of me, I haven't got a clue how to 'announce' it to my friends, most of whom I've known for a good 20 years. Do you just drop a bombshell in the WhatsApp group? Or wait until we all get together socially so that I can decimate the mood spectacularly? Not a clue.

Took me about 45 minutes to write all of this FFS. **** cancer, man.

[Ken Tram]

Well done for getting it off your chest on the forum!

Doing it here will probably make it easier to share in "real life" - and I suspect that you'll soon know with whom you feel safe to share what's going on for you.

[Mucker1884]

50 minutes ago, Scott129 said:

Reviving this thread just to vent really.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. Since then, he's lost a ton of weight and has essentially stopped eating. So much so, he's ended up in the hospital receiving fluids today, and has an operation scheduled for next week.

My mental health has never been the best but, for obvious reasons, it has taken an absolute battering over the last few weeks. I'm struggling to sleep most nights and often find myself getting distracted thinking about worst-case scenarios.

What's more, I've not really had the chance to talk about it with anyone. Or maybe I have and I just don't know how to approach or take that opportunity. I actually feel like family members are trying to skirt round the issue to protect me a little bit. Are they waiting for me to go to them? Do I even want to address it directly?

And, for the life of me, I haven't got a clue how to 'announce' it to my friends, most of whom I've known for a good 20 years. Do you just drop a bombshell in the WhatsApp group? Or wait until we all get together socially so that I can decimate the mood spectacularly? Not a clue.

Took me about 45 minutes to write all of this FFS. **** cancer, man.

There are no rules, as to when, or how.
You will know when you are ready... and your family will be ready, when you do.
And bombshells are what you drop on enemies... not friends.  Whatever you say to your friends, and whenever, and however you say it, assuming they are true friends, a bombshell it won't be.  True friends will listen.  True friends will care.  True friends will help, despite being helpless!

 

In the meantime, the next best thing is to let it out... to anyone... in any way... Ooh... like writing down your thoughts, anonymously, to strangers... that's an excellent start!  
You're on the right path buddy.

Stay strong, not silent!

xxx

[Anag Ram]

1 hour ago, Scott129 said:

Reviving this thread just to vent really.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. Since then, he's lost a ton of weight and has essentially stopped eating. So much so, he's ended up in the hospital receiving fluids today, and has an operation scheduled for next week.

My mental health has never been the best but, for obvious reasons, it has taken an absolute battering over the last few weeks. I'm struggling to sleep most nights and often find myself getting distracted thinking about worst-case scenarios.

What's more, I've not really had the chance to talk about it with anyone. Or maybe I have and I just don't know how to approach or take that opportunity. I actually feel like family members are trying to skirt round the issue to protect me a little bit. Are they waiting for me to go to them? Do I even want to address it directly?

And, for the life of me, I haven't got a clue how to 'announce' it to my friends, most of whom I've known for a good 20 years. Do you just drop a bombshell in the WhatsApp group? Or wait until we all get together socially so that I can decimate the mood spectacularly? Not a clue.

Took me about 45 minutes to write all of this FFS. **** cancer, man.

I’m so sorry to hear of the position you find yourself in. You will be all over the place I’m sure and it’s hard to think straight when something of this magnitude hits. 
But in order to be there for your dad and others, it’s important that you look after yourself. Included within that is lessening the burden you carry by telling someone else. Part of what you are experiencing is anticipatory grief. 
It can be helpful to tell a stranger first to ‘practice’ how to address it with those who are closer to you.

There are bereavement support groups like Cruse who will be experienced in listening to stories like yours.

I wish you all the best and hope you find the support you need.

Being strong does not mean hiding how you feel. Honesty will help.

[1of4]

On 04/05/2022 at 21:10, Scott129 said:

Reviving this thread just to vent really.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. Since then, he's lost a ton of weight and has essentially stopped eating. So much so, he's ended up in the hospital receiving fluids today, and has an operation scheduled for next week.

My mental health has never been the best but, for obvious reasons, it has taken an absolute battering over the last few weeks. I'm struggling to sleep most nights and often find myself getting distracted thinking about worst-case scenarios.

What's more, I've not really had the chance to talk about it with anyone. Or maybe I have and I just don't know how to approach or take that opportunity. I actually feel like family members are trying to skirt round the issue to protect me a little bit. Are they waiting for me to go to them? Do I even want to address it directly?

And, for the life of me, I haven't got a clue how to 'announce' it to my friends, most of whom I've known for a good 20 years. Do you just drop a bombshell in the WhatsApp group? Or wait until we all get together socially so that I can decimate the mood spectacularly? Not a clue.

Took me about 45 minutes to write all of this FFS. **** cancer, man.

Give the Macmillan cancer support a call. They're there to give help to the families of cancer patients, not just for those with cancer. They will listen to your worries and concerns and offer advice and support

[ariotofmyown]

On 04/05/2022 at 21:10, Scott129 said:

Reviving this thread just to vent really.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. Since then, he's lost a ton of weight and has essentially stopped eating. So much so, he's ended up in the hospital receiving fluids today, and has an operation scheduled for next week.

My mental health has never been the best but, for obvious reasons, it has taken an absolute battering over the last few weeks. I'm struggling to sleep most nights and often find myself getting distracted thinking about worst-case scenarios.

What's more, I've not really had the chance to talk about it with anyone. Or maybe I have and I just don't know how to approach or take that opportunity. I actually feel like family members are trying to skirt round the issue to protect me a little bit. Are they waiting for me to go to them? Do I even want to address it directly?

And, for the life of me, I haven't got a clue how to 'announce' it to my friends, most of whom I've known for a good 20 years. Do you just drop a bombshell in the WhatsApp group? Or wait until we all get together socially so that I can decimate the mood spectacularly? Not a clue.

Took me about 45 minutes to write all of this FFS. **** cancer, man.

You've just announced it mate, we are all friends on here.

But with your old friends, give them a call, or individual message. Maybe try and meet up with them. They'll all be there for you x

[Day]

Well, I won’t lie times are rough at the minute.

Not sure if I have mentioned this already, but my sister in law was diagnosed with kidney Cancer before Christmas last year.

To keep things short, she had the kidney removed, however they didn’t clear it all away and it spread to the other kidney…..then her lungs, lymph nodes and now throat.

If that wasn’t hard enough, she went and got pneumonia.

She was taken into hospital last Friday, on Sunday morning at 4.30am we had the call that we need to go in and say our final goodbyes.

All the family were gathered in the room, ICU doctor went through every possible treatment that she was too weak to have. The only thing left now was to treat her with antibiotics to clear the fluid off her lungs, if successful she could return home to die. 

Later that day, we held an early birthday party in her room at the hospital, her 43rd birthday is 5th August however when she asked the doctors if she would make it to then, the response was a less than enthusiastic hopefully. Hence holding the birthday party early.

Monday we get a call from my wife’s mum, you need to get down here quick as they don’t think she will make it through the night. We stayed until 4am and it’s probably one of the hardest things I have ever done.

My mum and sister came up to pick up my dog Jax, this is a key part of this week which I’ll get on to later.

Tuesday, still here so we return that night as my brother in law asked us to, said he was scared to be alone when she dies. I had to leave at 1am due to the heat, with no air con and a small fan, the temperature in there was unbearable.

My wife stays until dinner time, comes home to get some sleep, she says she’s looking loads better and the doctors are pleased that the fluid is clearing from her lungs, blood pressure low and she’s still obviously terminally ill.

MacMillan end of life support team come in and we return around 8pm to spend the night there again. Couldn’t believe it, she was sat up, talking and breathing a lot better. Still very weak to even consider moving her back home.

I take a family quiz in as a distraction, after we had finished I received a text from my sister. She’s tested positive for covid again. I saw her Monday. 

We made our excuses and left pretty swiftly, heads a mess trying to find a late night chemist to pick up some covid tests. Find one, £2.50 per test! Pick up enough for the next few days, get home and thankfully we’re negative, but in that position now where we will be testing constantly as he really needs us. 

His parents are looking after their 5 kids, one of which is disabled, 10 years old with a mental age of around 4 and doesn't talk. 

Her parents are old and unable to spend the nights there like we can, brother is still sectioned so pretty much down to us.

To get Covid now would rock the family massively, we both really struggled the first time we had it, didn't leave the house for 3 weeks after.

So yeah, life is somewhat of a rollercoaster right now so this forum and football isn't even on the radar right now.

But one thing my own experiences have told me is it's good to talk and whilst I might not come back to read the replies for a while, it's helpful just to write down and stick out there for others to hear.

There are no comforting words right now, it's one of those challenges that life throws at you.

Sat there, watching someone dying that's only a couple of years older than yourself really brings home how cruel this world can be in deciding how long you're here for.

She's never smoked, goes to the gym, relatively healthy, no genetic history of cancer in the family. Just for whatever reason her name came out the hat.