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Mostyn6

Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

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How do you know when you have hit rock bottom?

How do you know how many steps away you are from being Kurt Cobain, Gary Speed, Robin Williams etc?

Do you know anyone who has suffered from depression or suicidal tendencies? How would you spot the signs?

What was the difference in Gary Speed the day before he ended it, and on the day?

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You don't really know, Mostyn, that's why it happens really. You always think it's going to get worse than it is, no matter how bad it's gotten, and that's what makes you want to end it.

I attempted suicide a couple of times in my late teens and I didn't know it was going to happen, and I didn't plan for it. It wasn't premeditated. I just decided "enough is enough" and went for it, spontaneously. Go back in time to speak to me a day, an hour, 10 minutes before I tried and ask me if I was going to and I'd sincerely say, "no".

I was prevented by the people around me, I was never really left alone. 

That's not to say some people don't premeditate it, I had a friend who did, for weeks, I suppose it depends on your form of depression though. Many people's stories of it will differ, I imagine, but that's just my experience to date.

Much better nowadays though, I still sway in and out of depressive states and that's quite scary for me, but they're never as severe as they were back then. 

 

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1 hour ago, Mostyn6 said:

How do you know when you have hit rock bottom?

How do you know how many steps away you are from being Kurt Cobain, Gary Speed, Robin Williams etc?

Do you know anyone who has suffered from depression or suicidal tendencies? How would you spot the signs?

What was the difference in Gary Speed the day before he ended it, and on the day?

There is no definitive answer. One of best friends took his own life, he was always the life and soul of the party, always made everyone else happy just being there. He planned his way ahead, paid the rent for the next 2 years paid all bills and put the accounts into credit by some way through his redundancy money from his previous job without anyone knowing, he had a daughter, a girlfriend and just started a good job. He seemed the happiest since I had known him. It happened 2 weeks after my eldest was born and he had invited everyone out the week before but I couldn't as my wife and eldest was still in hospital. We chatted all week on Facebook the week leading up to it, said he was going pop round and drop some toys off that his daughter was too old for. It was completely out of the blue.

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24 minutes ago, SaintRam said:

You don't really know, Mostyn, that's why it happens really. You always think it's going to get worse than it is, no matter how bad it's gotten, and that's what makes you want to end it.

I attempted suicide a couple of times in my late teens and I didn't know it was going to happen, and I didn't plan for it. It wasn't premeditated. I just decided "enough is enough" and went for it, spontaneously. Go back in time to speak to me a day, an hour, 10 minutes before I tried and ask me if I was going to and I'd sincerely say, "no".

I was prevented by the people around me, I was never really left alone. 

That's not to say some people don't premeditate it, I had a friend who did, for weeks, I suppose it depends on your form of depression though. Many people's stories of it will differ, I imagine, but that's just my experience to date.

Much better nowadays though, I still sway in and out of depressive states and that's quite scary for me, but they're never as severe as they were back then. 

 

That must have taken a lot of courage to post, @SaintRam

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5 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

@SaintRam and @rynny, I am sure you will forgive me for not clicking 'like' on your responses. Doesn't seem appropriate, but I appreciate the responses.

No worries Mostyn, always available for a chat if needs be.

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good post, working online is notorious for depression and I have now been online my entire adult life and mostly on my own, if I can give advice on what I have found out with trial and error...

never use any device, laptop or anything that radiates light an hour before going to sleep, something about the blue light removes melatonin which enables you to sleep.

buy a sad lamp, they do work.

regular exercise, just go and take a brisk walk.

talk to colleagues and try and keep it upbeat.

never take work home with you, leave it in the office.

I can talk but if I have a lot of work on I will break all these rules and my mood deepens, probably hence my negative posts :unsure:

hope your ok Mostyn and please try my ideas mate because this is 20+ years research that works for me.

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Someone very close to me has suffered with clinical depression and generalised anxiety disorder for over 7 years now. They have suffered periods of deep despair with thoughts of self-harm, have self-medicated (abused drugs) in an attempt to relieve their torment and have tried to push away all those close to them.

We have sought medical help for this person and to be frank the quality of this has ranged from harmful to useless; drugs are prescribed: "Try these and see how you get on". One piece of advise from a doctor was particularly damaging, he told us to call the police if we needed to get emergency psychiatric help for this person, we did this, the police came in our house like storm-troopers, pounced on this person and carted him off like a criminal, later when this person needed an enhanced crb check for his job he was shocked to find he had got a caution on it for resisting arrest!

Despite our own experience of the medical profession in dealing with this issue I would always recommend seeking medical advise if you suspect someone is suffering with depression.  

Symptoms can be very subtle, ranging from increased sleep, lack of appetite, moods swings, lack of interest, a decline in the appearance of the person.

The best advice I can offer anyone in dealing with this is to create a supportive environment where open dialogue is encouraged, where we discuss our feelings and acknowledge it's ok to feel shitty.

Personally we take things one day at a time and have good days and bad days, we always try to remain calm and supportive, no matter what.

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I've never been officially diagnosed, but after studying psychology and reading the diagnostic criteria, there are parts of my life that I look back on and say, yes, I fit those.

Quote

Key symptoms:

persistent sadness or low mood;and/or
loss of interests or pleasure
fatigue or low energy

at least one of these, most days, most of the time for at least 2 weeks

if any of above present, ask about associated symptoms:

disturbed sleep
poor concentration or indecisiveness
low self-confidence
poor or increased appetite
suicidal thoughts or acts
agitation or slowing of movements
guilt or self-blame

the 10 symptoms then define the degree of depression and management is based on the particular degree

not depressed (fewer than four symptoms)
mild depression (four symptoms)
moderate depression (five to six symptoms)
severe depression (seven or more symptoms, with or without psychotic symptoms)

symptoms should be present for a month or more and every symptom should be present for most of every day

 

The above is from ICD-10, which is one of the two main diagnostic manuals for illnesses, both mental and physical. I can't say I ever progressed beyond mild - but I did, and still do, experience most of those symptoms at one time or another.

Personally, never considered suicide - but that's not to say those thoughts didn't appear in the back of my mind, more a case of 'what if?' than 'I will'. It was often the thought of hurting my family and friends that stopped me. It wasn't their fault, they shouldn't suffer. Equally though, that mindset stopped me talking to anyone about it. It's only now in hindsight I can really discuss it.

It'd be the days where I just felt nothing. Not sadness, but just.. empty. Like I was observing the world from afar. Wouldn't matter what I was doing, listening to music, watching football, the things you find pleasure in, just don't reach you. I'd spend a couple of weeks where I'd not get to sleep til 3 or 4am, then be waking up at 6. I wouldn't even be thinking about anything in particular. I wouldn't feel any different though, whether I'd slept 2 hours or 8.

It never goes away though - I'll have the odd week or two where it'll come back, but I usually muddle on through - and I'm in the very fortunate position to live with my girlfriend, who understands why my behaviour changes so drastically every so often. It was hard to start with, the first couple of times she couldn't understand why I'd 'go off her' for that time, I wouldn't speak to her, touch her, some days I couldn't even look her in the eyes, and I just couldn't explain it. After the episode though, I managed to get some clarity, and explain it as best I could. It frustrates the crap out of her that she can't help any more than just being there, but that's all she can do.

From my experience, I don't think you can really treat depression, per se, it's all about how it's managed. If you know someone who suffers, you just have to make sure they know you'll be around irrespective. A lot of the time, its enough to know someone cares. It might well have saved my life.

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24 minutes ago, LesterRam said:

good post, working online is notorious for depression and I have now been online my entire adult life and mostly on my own, if I can give advice on what I have found out with trial and error...

never use any device, laptop or anything that radiates light an hour before going to sleep, something about the blue light removes melatonin which enables you to sleep.

buy a sad lamp, they do work.

regular exercise, just go and take a brisk walk.

talk to colleagues and try and keep it upbeat.

never take work home with you, leave it in the office.

I can talk but if I have a lot of work on I will break all these rules and my mood deepens, probably hence my negative posts :unsure:

hope your ok Mostyn and please try my ideas mate because this is 20+ years research that works for me.

Some great tips there, Lester!

Our "person" uses an application that reduces the blue light transmitted by his monitor after a certain time of night and he swears by it to allow him to sleep after working late.

My experience of depression albeit from an outsiders point of view is that there are lots of coping mechanisms that may help to some degree and that by trying them the sufferer is taking control of their depression and reducing the control the depression has over them.

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28 minutes ago, Ewetube said:

Some great tips there, Lester!

Our "person" uses an application that reduces the blue light transmitted by his monitor after a certain time of night and he swears by it to allow him to sleep after working late.

My experience of depression albeit from an outsiders point of view is that there are lots of coping mechanisms that may help to some degree and that by trying them the sufferer is taking control of their depression and reducing the control the depression has over them.

One thing to help combat this is to change as much to white on black - most energy efficient bulbs and monitors output lots of blue light when showing white. Added bonus of saving battery power on devices.

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Jees @Mostyn6 we've only drawn the last two games.  It ain't that bad :lol:

No seriously, I suffer from bouts of deep depression and I feel the best way to get through it is to talk.  Can be a professional, can be be a friend, can be family, just talk.  Bottling it up is the worst thing you can do.  I'm actually going to a councilling session tonight with someone from Talking Mental Health Derbyshire.  Very well run organisation and it's completely free, Google it and see what you think...

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Don't know if any of you have seen the documentary of the rapper Professor Green and the suicide of his estranged father.

Professor Green - Suicide and me

I caught it the other night and found it really moving and useful that someone as high profile as him should help raise awareness of mens mental health issues and through it explore his own feelings towards the tragic death of his father.  

 

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Someone very close to me has suffered with depression for over 15 years (on and off) and I also have had several times where I was suffering with Anxiety, Depression and Stress.  I am sure everyone's experience is different but I had a time where I felt the people around me would be better off if I was not there.  In my mind I had convinced myself that I would be doing everyone a favour if I ended it all and I was close, too close.  Luckily I recovered, thanks to my family, my friends and through a lot of hard work but I did get there.

My advice would be to talk to about it.  Everyone has experience of either feeling this way themselves or someone close to them and you will start to realise that it isn't just you.

As others have said, I am only a PM away if you want to talk.

 

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I've suffered from depression to the point where I took pills to end it all... That's Rock Bottom... When you think you have no other way out.

 

This bearing in mind I had a decent job... Two wonderful boys, a 6 month old daughter and a loving wife who had supported me through my addiction problems over the years.

 

There was mitigating factors leading up to me trying to end it all.

 

All I have to say is be careful who you are trying to help "online" 

 

Some rather cruel individuals about nowadays who will stop at nothing to ruin you and with a mind like I have... Hit rock bottom

 

@Mostyn6 I'm always here for a chat... And I extend that to anyone....

 

Best way to beat this hurrendous illness is to talk to others who have or are going through the same.

 

 

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3 minutes ago, Mafiabob said:

I've suffered from depression to the point where I took pills to end it all... That's Rock Bottom... When you think you have no other way out.

 

This bearing in mind I had a decent job... Two wonderful boys, a 6 month old daughter and a loving wife who had supported me through my addiction problems over the years.

 

There was mitigating factors leading up to me trying to end it all.

 

All I have to say is be careful who you are trying to help "online" 

 

Some rather cruel individuals about nowadays who will stop at nothing to ruin you and with a mind like I have... Hit rock bottom

 

@Mostyn6 I'm always here for a chat... And I extend that to anyone....

 

Best way to beat this hurrendous illness is to talk to others who have or are going through the same.

 

 

It differs from person to person but I agree with you.

 

I have been in and out of depression and anxiety due to work/relationship stress.

 

I often hit the bottle hard when I can't cope/deal with my anxiety but that doesn't help at all.

 

But I found understanding why I am feeling that way and making a plan to address those reasons works. I have been through three bouts of it, and one very recently where my behaviour became so erratic

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