Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[Mostyn6]

sadly, a colleague of my girlfriend had been struggling with mental health for a while, people were aware of his struggles, yet someone saw fit to complain about his standard of work, and reported/complained, eventually, he reached a cruel and devastating state of mind and decided to end it all. Some of my GF's friends are absolutely heartbroken having worked more closely with him (than my GF). We were in Prague over the weekend, and we had a few natural beers and it suddenly hit her quite hard, and she was totally bewildered and struggling to understand why this lovely fella had decided to take his own life.

In answer to some of her questions, I made reference to my own struggles, which I try to play down as low mood nowadays, but back when I started this thread, I was really struggling to find a reason to be alive. This shocked her a lot and I was mentioning some of the stories and explanations in this thread, and ultimately how it helped me.

I'm in a good place now, as I said a few weeks back, and I also know how to spot my decline and what to do to halt and reverse it. Basically, I jump on a treadmill 3 times a week for a month and I'm automatically on top of the world. I'm a rubbish runner, and it hurts, but sense of achievement is immense. I remember wanting to get to 1km non-stop, then 10mins, then 2km, then 2.5km nonstop, then all the way up to 5km nonstop, and then it was doing 5km in under 30mins, and eventually did it in 26mins, which for me was amazing having been medically advised to never run.

Anyway, what I am saying is, awareness is the first step to recovery, then needing to find your little cure is vital.

[BatRam]

Thank you for the replies.  I know everyone seems to be trying to be on some kind of spectrum nowadays but I believe I have undiagnosed autism due to some of my actions such as  Hyperfocus/obsession on things for a time period then drop it and onto the next, I don’t like having plans booked in or having my time taken off of me as it triggers anxiety.  But if I fancy doing something spur of the moment I’m happy to do so. Dunno just abit strange 😂 since covid I haven’t looked after myself so I think current mood/outlook on life  may be a result of that. But I should be the happiest man  alive , I’m 30 , happily married , got a lovely dog , great family and friends , no real worries about anything apart from being fed up it’s strange 😂😂😂

Edited February 8 by CodnorRam

[Ram-Alf]

13 hours ago, CodnorRam said:

Thank you for the replies.  I know everyone seems to be trying to be on some kind of spectrum nowadays but I believe I have undiagnosed autism due to some of my actions such as  Hyperfocus/obsession on things for a time period then drop it and onto the next, I don’t like having plans booked in or having my time taken off of me as it triggers anxiety.  But if I fancy doing something spur of the moment I’m happy to do so. Dunno just abit strange 😂 since covid I haven’t looked after myself so I think current mood/outlook on life  may be a result of that. But I should be the happiest man  alive , I’m 30 , happily married , got a lovely dog , great family and friends , no real worries about anything apart from being fed up it’s strange 😂😂😂

This is not advice, But I researched a little about Dementia as a very good friend passed from it a couple of weeks ago age 66.

Depression. Although not yet well understood, late-life depression might indicate the development of dementia.

He broke up from his partner and lived alone in a hotel room at a Virgin Hotel for 2+ years at a cost of £250 a week, I really don't know the ins and outs of his situation but his other friends all said...they thought this was the reason.

I'm pleased you've made strides to change the life style you were in, The brain is a very complex piece of kit, Keep on top of it and life will be great...at 30 years of age...you've still got a hell of a lot of living to do, I wish you well 👍

[Scott129]

On 04/05/2022 at 21:10, Scott129 said:

Reviving this thread just to vent really.

My dad was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. Since then, he's lost a ton of weight and has essentially stopped eating. So much so, he's ended up in the hospital receiving fluids today, and has an operation scheduled for next week.

My mental health has never been the best but, for obvious reasons, it has taken an absolute battering over the last few weeks. I'm struggling to sleep most nights and often find myself getting distracted thinking about worst-case scenarios.

What's more, I've not really had the chance to talk about it with anyone. Or maybe I have and I just don't know how to approach or take that opportunity. I actually feel like family members are trying to skirt round the issue to protect me a little bit. Are they waiting for me to go to them? Do I even want to address it directly?

And, for the life of me, I haven't got a clue how to 'announce' it to my friends, most of whom I've known for a good 20 years. Do you just drop a bombshell in the WhatsApp group? Or wait until we all get together socially so that I can decimate the mood spectacularly? Not a clue.

Took me about 45 minutes to write all of this FFS. **** cancer, man.

My dad finally lost his battle this morning at the ridiculous age of 64.

Over the past month or so, he got stuck in a cycle of having excess fluid drained, the fluid coming back, being drained again, etc. The fluid eventually got into his lungs and, on top of that, he had the cancer in the background (which they couldn't directly treat because of all of the draining), and a skin infection that eventually led to sepsis. It was just too many issues for him to fight, even though he gave it a damn good go.

He deteriorated rapidly last night to the point of being very agitated and delirious, and I got a call from the nurses to come in at 3am. I knew it was the beginning of the end then, and the decision was made to withdraw treatment at about 11am. He went very peacefully within the hour.

Part of me wants to carry on like normal - go to the match tomorrow and have a few drinks after - but the healthiest decision is probably to skip it and have a bit of alone time to process it all.

I echo the last sentence of my previous post too - f*** cancer.

[Ram-Alf]

4 minutes ago, Scott129 said:

My dad finally lost his battle this morning at the ridiculous age of 64.

Over the past month or so, he got stuck in a cycle of having excess fluid drained, the fluid coming back, being drained again, etc. The fluid eventually got into his lungs and, on top of that, he had the cancer in the background (which they couldn't directly treat because of all of the draining), and a skin infection that eventually led to sepsis. It was just too many issues for him to fight, even though he gave it a damn good go.

He deteriorated rapidly last night to the point of being very agitated and delirious, and I got a call from the nurses to come in at 3am. I knew it was the beginning of the end then, and the decision was made to withdraw treatment at about 11am. He went very peacefully within the hour.

Part of me wants to carry on like normal - go to the match tomorrow and have a few drinks after - but the healthiest decision is probably to skip it and have a bit of alone time to process it all.

I echo the last sentence of my previous post too - f*** cancer.

Sympathies Scott, You do what's best for you and yours, Missing a game aint the end of the world...chin up youth 👍

[GB SPORTS]

13 minutes ago, Scott129 said:

My dad finally lost his battle this morning at the ridiculous age of 64.

Over the past month or so, he got stuck in a cycle of having excess fluid drained, the fluid coming back, being drained again, etc. The fluid eventually got into his lungs and, on top of that, he had the cancer in the background (which they couldn't directly treat because of all of the draining), and a skin infection that eventually led to sepsis. It was just too many issues for him to fight, even though he gave it a damn good go.

He deteriorated rapidly last night to the point of being very agitated and delirious, and I got a call from the nurses to come in at 3am. I knew it was the beginning of the end then, and the decision was made to withdraw treatment at about 11am. He went very peacefully within the hour.

Part of me wants to carry on like normal - go to the match tomorrow and have a few drinks after - but the healthiest decision is probably to skip it and have a bit of alone time to process it all.

I echo the last sentence of my previous post too - f*** cancer.

Sorry for your loss Scott i lost my Old Man six years ago with Pancreatic Cancer.

I assure you although life can never be the same it does get better and you'll remember the good times and not the bad ones.

 

Get help if you or any member of your nearest and dearest.

Vent on here if necessary.

But most of all look after yourself.

 

[Miggins]

So sorry to hear this, Scott. Losing a loved one, especially a parent, really pulls the rug from under your feet. Taking care of yourself is so important just now as I'm sure your dad would tell you. Hugs to you and your family.

 

 

[Premier ram]

17 hours ago, Scott129 said:

My dad finally lost his battle this morning at the ridiculous age of 64.

Over the past month or so, he got stuck in a cycle of having excess fluid drained, the fluid coming back, being drained again, etc. The fluid eventually got into his lungs and, on top of that, he had the cancer in the background (which they couldn't directly treat because of all of the draining), and a skin infection that eventually led to sepsis. It was just too many issues for him to fight, even though he gave it a damn good go.

He deteriorated rapidly last night to the point of being very agitated and delirious, and I got a call from the nurses to come in at 3am. I knew it was the beginning of the end then, and the decision was made to withdraw treatment at about 11am. He went very peacefully within the hour.

Part of me wants to carry on like normal - go to the match tomorrow and have a few drinks after - but the healthiest decision is probably to skip it and have a bit of alone time to process it all.

I echo the last sentence of my previous post too - f*** cancer.

So sorry to hear this mate , take care of yourself , always here if you need a chat

[Comrade 86]

On 16/02/2024 at 18:33, Scott129 said:

My dad finally lost his battle this morning at the ridiculous age of 64.

Over the past month or so, he got stuck in a cycle of having excess fluid drained, the fluid coming back, being drained again, etc. The fluid eventually got into his lungs and, on top of that, he had the cancer in the background (which they couldn't directly treat because of all of the draining), and a skin infection that eventually led to sepsis. It was just too many issues for him to fight, even though he gave it a damn good go.

He deteriorated rapidly last night to the point of being very agitated and delirious, and I got a call from the nurses to come in at 3am. I knew it was the beginning of the end then, and the decision was made to withdraw treatment at about 11am. He went very peacefully within the hour.

Part of me wants to carry on like normal - go to the match tomorrow and have a few drinks after - but the healthiest decision is probably to skip it and have a bit of alone time to process it all.

I echo the last sentence of my previous post too - f*** cancer.

Very sorry to hear of your loss, Scott. Condolences to you and your family.

[B4’s Sister]

On 16/02/2024 at 18:33, Scott129 said:

My dad finally lost his battle this morning at the ridiculous age of 64.

Over the past month or so, he got stuck in a cycle of having excess fluid drained, the fluid coming back, being drained again, etc. The fluid eventually got into his lungs and, on top of that, he had the cancer in the background (which they couldn't directly treat because of all of the draining), and a skin infection that eventually led to sepsis. It was just too many issues for him to fight, even though he gave it a damn good go.

He deteriorated rapidly last night to the point of being very agitated and delirious, and I got a call from the nurses to come in at 3am. I knew it was the beginning of the end then, and the decision was made to withdraw treatment at about 11am. He went very peacefully within the hour.

Part of me wants to carry on like normal - go to the match tomorrow and have a few drinks after - but the healthiest decision is probably to skip it and have a bit of alone time to process it all.

I echo the last sentence of my previous post too - f*** cancer.

Sorry for your loss. Sending love to you and your family x 

[BatRam]

I've taken into account everything thats been said and ive been to local GP ( somehow managed to get in 🤣) , i wrote a document 3-4 pages long of all the above iv mentioned plus more. And i've now recieved a form to fill out regarding ADHD and autism so we'll see if it answers any of my  questions when i eventually get down the waiting list 

[Alph]

17 minutes ago, CodnorRam said:

I've taken into account everything thats been said and ive been to local GP ( somehow managed to get in 🤣) , i wrote a document 3-4 pages long of all the above iv mentioned plus more. And i've now recieved a form to fill out regarding ADHD and autism so we'll see if it answers any of my  questions when i eventually get down the waiting list 

Good man. But just spill your guts on here if you need to. Same goes to @Scott129

It's anonymous here so that can make it easier. It doesn't have to make sense or be justified. You're not going to be judged or (the worst bit) have people run away because they suddenly see you as bit of a drag. 

So I'd say just use this space as a dumping ground for those thoughts that rattle around your head doing damage. People often can relate. Might even help someone reading. 

[Anag Ram]

On 20/02/2024 at 09:14, CodnorRam said:

I've taken into account everything thats been said and ive been to local GP ( somehow managed to get in 🤣) , i wrote a document 3-4 pages long of all the above iv mentioned plus more. And i've now recieved a form to fill out regarding ADHD and autism so we'll see if it answers any of my  questions when i eventually get down the waiting list 

Not sure if you have funds available or even if this of any interest to you but I’ve had dealings with the company below and they are excellent in neurodiversity matters.

https://www.graceconsulting.co.uk

[Chellaston Ram]

On 16/02/2024 at 18:33, Scott129 said:

My dad finally lost his battle this morning at the ridiculous age of 64.

Over the past month or so, he got stuck in a cycle of having excess fluid drained, the fluid coming back, being drained again, etc. The fluid eventually got into his lungs and, on top of that, he had the cancer in the background (which they couldn't directly treat because of all of the draining), and a skin infection that eventually led to sepsis. It was just too many issues for him to fight, even though he gave it a damn good go.

He deteriorated rapidly last night to the point of being very agitated and delirious, and I got a call from the nurses to come in at 3am. I knew it was the beginning of the end then, and the decision was made to withdraw treatment at about 11am. He went very peacefully within the hour.

Part of me wants to carry on like normal - go to the match tomorrow and have a few drinks after - but the healthiest decision is probably to skip it and have a bit of alone time to process it all.

I echo the last sentence of my previous post too - f*** cancer.

I understand how you feel Scott , I lost my wife with cancer 4 weeks ago after a 17 month battle, in her last few weeks I missed a few games as I couldn’t face going to the match and trying to enjoy it. Time is a great healer, I have started going again now and gradually getting back to my normal match day routine. 

[Alph]

1 hour ago, Chellaston Ram said:

I understand how you feel Scott , I lost my wife with cancer 4 weeks ago after a 17 month battle, in her last few weeks I missed a few games as I couldn’t face going to the match and trying to enjoy it. Time is a great healer, I have started going again now and gradually getting back to my normal match day routine. 

It hurts to even imagine.

Never know what to say to people who lose loved ones. The sad face emoji doesn't seem right but it's the best we have when the only other thing I can think of is "sorry for your loss" but I've never liked saying or hearing that. 

In a RL situation it would be "call if you need a cuppa and a chat". Here we just have the thread. You'll have to make your own cuppa too. 

Edited March 3 by Alph

[B4’s Sister]

1 hour ago, Chellaston Ram said:

I understand how you feel Scott , I lost my wife with cancer 4 weeks ago after a 17 month battle, in her last few weeks I missed a few games as I couldn’t face going to the match and trying to enjoy it. Time is a great healer, I have started going again now and gradually getting back to my normal match day routine. 

I’m sorry to hear your wife has passed away  @Chellaston Ram I find routine helps when going through tough times. Sending love to you x 

[Chellaston Ram]

Thanks @Alph; @B4’s Sister, luckily I have a strong family to support me and I’m now finding the football a good distraction 

[Comrade 86]

11 hours ago, Chellaston Ram said:

I understand how you feel Scott , I lost my wife with cancer 4 weeks ago after a 17 month battle, in her last few weeks I missed a few games as I couldn’t face going to the match and trying to enjoy it. Time is a great healer, I have started going again now and gradually getting back to my normal match day routine. 

So sorry to hear of your loss, Chellaston. Glad at least to hear you have footy and your family to rally round and that you're finding some balance again. Hopefully the lads will provide a deal more cheer yet, before end of season and us lot are always here if you need a sounding board. 

[Chellaston Ram]

2 hours ago, Comrade 86 said:

So sorry to hear of your loss, Chellaston. Glad at least to hear you have footy and your family to rally round and that you're finding some balance again. Hopefully the lads will provide a deal more cheer yet, before end of season and us lot are always here if you need a sounding board. 

Thanks @Comrade 86, sometimes I am a bit harsh against Warne but I think some of it is to do with my state of mind ( I want the Rams to cheer me up 😀)

[i-Ram]

16 hours ago, Chellaston Ram said:

I understand how you feel Scott , I lost my wife with cancer 4 weeks ago after a 17 month battle, in her last few weeks I missed a few games as I couldn’t face going to the match and trying to enjoy it. Time is a great healer, I have started going again now and gradually getting back to my normal match day routine. 

So sorry to hear your news CR. Wishing you and your family the very best for the future.

@Comrade 86 I suspect your fat fingers meant you hit the wrong emoji. Just thought you might want to update.