Tiresome Oneupmanship

[Dimmu]

2 hours ago, sage said:

I think utilising the ignore button may save someone's sanity. If a poster regularly annoys you, put them on ignore.

Though sadly, some bugger will quote them and then you froth at the mouth again.

 

This is my method it works pretty well. I do hope people will use it more as it would lead to less quoting of trolls and other behaviorally challenged people.

Edited December 13, 2023 by Dimmu
Also, there'll always be polarizating views and more balanced post are the ones that are needed most. I that sense these kinf of forums are mini-societys.

[Old Spalding Ram]

10 hours ago, Ian Buxton's Bat said:

I'm a reasonably diplomatic, boring, steady middle aged bloke.

I'm reasonably well educated and can write reasonably well so try to choose words on this forum that express an opinion that may be different to others, without deliberately causing offence. I certainly don't have 'poor writing' or 'poor vocabulary' as anything like an excuse if I were to cause offence.........but, without being patronising, I do understand not all so-called offensive posts are intended to be offensive.

However, it's apparent that I'm not alone in finding it tiresome that almost every single thread deteriorates into a game of point scoring, oneupmanship and, increasingly, forum archeology, in order to be unpleasant to one another.

There seems to be, in equal measure, deliberate attempts to cause offence and seek offence and it's just not great reading. I'm not in the slightest bit supportive of closing down debates or censoring differences of opinion but the number of personal spats with unpleasant language is getting beyond a joke.

I can't blame the mods because, individually, most of these posts fall below the threshold of complaint but, collectively, they make this forum so much worse than it could be.

I came to this forum for camaraderie when we nearly went under as a club - and it was a source of great comfort, information and humour.

It's got to the point where I'm considering signing off and and using the Telegraph and Radio Derby as my main non-matchday links - they have limitations but they are civil.

Any ideas what we can do?

I get where you’re coming from Mr Bat, but,  I find the vast majority on here are “sound as a pound”.

I watched Ian Buxton play for Derby County & Derbyshire.…wish I was “middle aged” 👍🐏

[Scott129]

20 minutes ago, Alan Ramage 4 EVA said:

Well said .

A small group of us 63-65 year olds get together a couple of times a year for a few beers .We went out last Saturday night and got talking about the "good old days" getting the cane ,slipper, dodging the board rubber, p*ss taking, having a laugh everyday, and SARCASM. We got to pondering if there was such a thing as Herbert George Wells Time machine ,and  a 100 13-14 year olds went back to "our" old school in 1973 (At least they would see some GREAT football at the BBG).How many would cope how many would suffer with nervous breakdowns. Would all of them be offended ?

My point is we seem to have lost the ability to accept a bit of "mickey taking", and are too quick to take offence and get upset over trivial comments.

Mr thick skinned Ramage

Oh here we go - 'the good old days'

[Stive Pesley]

This is why I rarely post in the main football forum - too many people disagreeing with me for the sake of it.

I largely stick to the Jim Smith Room forum for OT stuff, as that's lovely and everyone is so kind and thoughtful, and they all think I'm GREAT 😐

[CongletonRam]

How ironic that several posts in this thread are tiresome Oneupmanship as the OP put it.

We live in a generation whereby people can talk to one another in whatever way they want to behind a keyboard, but I daresay wouldn't have the gumption to say the same thing were it face to face.

I have been a member on here (in different guises) since it first began, and it's always been the same and will never change. It's the nature of the beast. If you don't like it, don't use it or take a break. I've taken plenty over the years as I have allowed various posters to get into my head.

 

 

[MadAmster]

One could be excused for thinking that there are one or two posters who ignore facts, cherry pick words out of context in order to exude the opposite viewpoint. If I get to the point where it's getting to me, I ignore the thread.

Never allow anyone, be they sensible, an eejit or just a WUM, to live rent free in your head. They're not worth it and you deserve better. Draw your own boundaries and stick to them. It's good for your own well being.

[Gaspode]

27 minutes ago, Stive Pesley said:

This is why I rarely post in the main football forum - too many people disagreeing with me for the sake of it.

I largely stick to the Jim Smith Room forum for OT stuff, as that's lovely and everyone is so kind and thoughtful, and they all think I'm GREAT 😐

[Ram-Alf]

11 hours ago, Ian Buxton's Bat said:

Any ideas what we can do?

Just sit back and enjoy the ride 😉

Failing that...have a break...have a Kit Kat 👍

[JuanFloEvraTheCocu'sNesta]

10 minutes ago, The Last Post said:

Just sit back and enjoy the ride

Edited December 13, 2023 by JuanFloEvraTheCocu'sNesta

[Leeds Ram]

Taking a break may be useful and also using the ignore button for some users may help. Ultimately, it's a forum and there will be disagreements and these will sometimes boil over. It's usually confined to a few posters who simply cannot let something go or make the same point about a billion times, either about a topic or other posters, but yeah it can get frustrating. I don't visit so much these days but that's mostly just because my work has gotten out of control time wise. But don't leave for good would be my advice. 

[Simmo’s left foot]

I'd suggest where there is a problem then the mods need to adopt a no-nonsense rule and delete the post and warn the poster. I run several global FB groups this way, and have no problems at all, because its made very clear.

I've often found people are ready to dismiss sensible comments that don't fit with what they think.

I'm sure the mods know their usual suspects!

Great OP by the way, and well worth talking about.

Edited December 13, 2023 by Simmo’s left foot

[Tyler Durden]

4 hours ago, Ewe Ram said:

I wish this forum had a ‘you’re tedious’ button. I agree with the OP, I usually pop in and quickly out again as the thread I’m interested in has descended into a boring playground spat 

This which I've mentioned to the mods a number of times, together with a modified laughing emoji but for ridicule not amusement. 

[Ellafella]

4 hours ago, i-Ram said:

There’s an ignite button? Tell me more.

Only @David& @Boycie have access to it 😲

[Alan Ramage 4 EVA]

6 hours ago, Scott129 said:

Oh here we go - 'the good old days'

I`m offended 

[Comrade 86]

#BEMOREB4

[jono]

7 hours ago, JuanFloEvraTheCocu'sNesta said:

The problem is that I know for an absolute, undeniable fact that I am never wrong. 

Never have been, never will be.

A neighbour of mine was asked by his teenage son to “have a word with Mum” .. because she was always on his case 

at he Dads answer to his sone. You might think it’s Saturday, The TV says it’s Saturday as does the the calendar but if you Mum says it Wednesday … it’s effing Wednesday 

[Day]

18 hours ago, Ian Buxton's Bat said:

Any ideas what we can do?

Not really if I'm honest with you, this forum without the members is an empty shell of code, it's the members that make the forum a community.

It's really on you all to shape the community with how you communicate with each other.

We can set guidelines, moderate content, even disable polls to avoid the in out after every result, however unless we go all North Korea it really is on you all.

The forum has topic summaries now below the first post, maybe check that and try to voice your opinion without being in the top 4 posters for a prolonged period?

I haven't been on nowhere near as much myself,  life offline is pretty hectic, then the spare time I get, do I want to spend that filling my head with the constant streams of negativity over matters that seem so minor compared to last year.

Thought we would have had more of grace period of just being happy to have a club to support, wasn't expecting the bile to be spewed so quickly but here we are, and that's the frontline where the fight is being fought. 

[hintonsboots]

School for scoundrels the 1960 film is highly recommended for anyone thinking of brushing up on their Oneupmanship skills. Many on this forum will know it all already.

[Comrade 86]

8 hours ago, JuanFloEvraTheCocu'sNesta said:

The problem is that I know for an absolute, undeniable fact that I am never wrong. 

Never have been, never will be.

Ahem, cough, cough....

[Ram-Alf]

43 minutes ago, David said:

We can set guidelines, moderate content, even disable polls to avoid the in out after every result, however unless we go all North Korea it really is on you all.

Emporer Kim when he read Davids post