Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[Ramslad1992]

On 18/05/2021 at 23:06, Ramslad1992 said:

We said see you soon to a great family friend today, 37 years old... brain tumours are a Bamford.

godfather to my fantastic niece and an all round top bloke. 
 

raising a glass to you Tommo. See you on the other side mate ?.

Would be 39 today ? wasn’t too bad until his mum wished him a happy birthday on Facebook. Never forgotten mate ?

[Mostyn6]

Hello all. This thread has gone nearly a year since a post, which surprises me given how open we have been over the years.  Personally, I've been in a good place,  in a relationship for 14 months now,  got a dog at home,  just got a promotion at work, and building good relationships with family I only discovered in September 2022. All that said,  I've just lost a friend to cancer, got another friend going through recovery after cancer treatment and I'm definitely feeling sadness and woe that the gods saw fit to take B4 away from us. 

This time of year is usually very lonely for me as I usually try and stay out of the way so as not to intrude or burden people.  This year will be different as I'm going to Becky's mum's for Christmas and will be with her family. 

This isn't one to gloat, more one to remind people that the world moves on and situations change. Nothing is permanent,  especially sadness. 

Hope you all have as wonderful a Christmas period as is possible, and if it isn't, that doesn't mean it won't be again x

[richinspain]

11 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

Hello all. This thread has gone nearly a year since a post, which surprises me given how open we have been over the years.  Personally, I've been in a good place,  in a relationship for 14 months now,  got a dog at home,  just got a promotion at work, and building good relationships with family I only discovered in September 2022. All that said,  I've just lost a friend to cancer, got another friend going through recovery after cancer treatment and I'm definitely feeling sadness and woe that the gods saw fit to take B4 away from us. 

This time of year is usually very lonely for me as I usually try and stay out of the way so as not to intrude or burden people.  This year will be different as I'm going to Becky's mum's for Christmas and will be with her family. 

This isn't one to gloat, more one to remind people that the world moves on and situations change. Nothing is permanent,  especially sadness. 

Hope you all have as wonderful a Christmas period as is possible, and if it isn't, that doesn't mean it won't be again x

Glad things are looking up. Enjoy your Christmas.

[Mucker1884]

2 hours ago, Mostyn6 said:

Hello all. This thread has gone nearly a year since a post, which surprises me given how open we have been over the years.  Personally, I've been in a good place,  in a relationship for 14 months now,  got a dog at home,  just got a promotion at work, and building good relationships with family I only discovered in September 2022. All that said,  I've just lost a friend to cancer, got another friend going through recovery after cancer treatment and I'm definitely feeling sadness and woe that the gods saw fit to take B4 away from us. 

This time of year is usually very lonely for me as I usually try and stay out of the way so as not to intrude or burden people.  This year will be different as I'm going to Becky's mum's for Christmas and will be with her family. 

This isn't one to gloat, more one to remind people that the world moves on and situations change. Nothing is permanent,  especially sadness. 

Hope you all have as wonderful a Christmas period as is possible, and if it isn't, that doesn't mean it won't be again x

Lovely read, that.

Hope your Christmas is bostin', Mostyn.

🍻🎄👍

[Ramslad1992]

Found out my cousin took his own life today… 

3 years ago he had a car accident that left him paralysed from the waist down, knew he was struggling with it but not enough to do this. 
 

RIP Jordan ❤️ having a beer for you tonight mate. 

[Anag Ram]

7 minutes ago, Ramslad1992 said:

Found out my cousin took his own life today… 

3 years ago he had a car accident that left him paralysed from the waist down, knew he was struggling with it but not enough to do this. 
 

RIP Jordan ❤️ having a beer for you tonight mate. 

Wow, what a terrible thing to have happened. So sorry Ramslad. Take care of yourself.

[Premier ram]

18 hours ago, Ramslad1992 said:

Found out my cousin took his own life today… 

3 years ago he had a car accident that left him paralysed from the waist down, knew he was struggling with it but not enough to do this. 
 

RIP Jordan ❤️ having a beer for you tonight mate. 

So sorry to hear this mate, sending you and your family my deepest sympathies 

[Comrade 86]

On 12/01/2024 at 22:10, Ramslad1992 said:

Found out my cousin took his own life today… 

3 years ago he had a car accident that left him paralysed from the waist down, knew he was struggling with it but not enough to do this. 
 

RIP Jordan ❤️ having a beer for you tonight mate. 

Very sorry to hear this. Heart-breaking when people you love do this, as I know myself, but all you can do is hope they are in a better place now.

Sincere condolences to you yours mate.

[B4’s Sister]

On 12/01/2024 at 22:10, Ramslad1992 said:

Found out my cousin took his own life today… 

3 years ago he had a car accident that left him paralysed from the waist down, knew he was struggling with it but not enough to do this. 
 

RIP Jordan ❤️ having a beer for you tonight mate. 

Really sorry to hear this @Ramslad1992 Sending love to you and your family x 

[Kinder]

On 12/01/2024 at 22:10, Ramslad1992 said:

Found out my cousin took his own life today… 

3 years ago he had a car accident that left him paralysed from the waist down, knew he was struggling with it but not enough to do this. 
 

RIP Jordan ❤️ having a beer for you tonight mate. 

I’ve just seen this, I’m so sorry mate. I really hope you and your family are bearing up. x

[Ram-Alf]

Had 2 bits of bad news this week, I played Sunday football for a team in Chadd in the 80s, The clubs Manager passed away last week, And yesterday I got a text to say one of the players had also passed...age 66 and died from Dementia, Sleep well Wally and Karl 😔 

[BatRam]

Dont normally put stuff like this , but kinda feeling like im wasting my life. just seem to work , have my tea and go to sleep. Any ambition has gone out the window. quite tragic really. So iv started bodybuilding/weightlifting again after many years away and im taking up archery and gonna try and grow my own veg in garden to feel like iv actually accomplished something 

[Premier ram]

2 hours ago, CodnorRam said:

Dont normally put stuff like this , but kinda feeling like im wasting my life. just seem to work , have my tea and go to sleep. Any ambition has gone out the window. quite tragic really. So iv started bodybuilding/weightlifting again after many years away and im taking up archery and gonna try and grow my own veg in garden to feel like iv actually accomplished something 

You have reached out to the DCFC family mate , that’s a good start , yes immersing yourself in hobbies helps but talking is the best , myself and I’m sure many other members on here are there for you if you need a chat, stay strong mate

[silverback]

 I love posts like this as men seldom "out " their feelings and sometimes the feeling of belonging is the start you need.

I met Mostyn many years back via another forum (rj) and a meet up at the Brewery Tap pub along with Mucker and others, he is a top bloke and I am so glad to hear your life is now shaping up.

As a man of a certain vintage, dealing with family issues aplenty, prostate problems, retirement issues etc, I can offer some insight into many of life's traumas as I have probably already been there.

For me retirement from a busy business, proved to be far more traumatic than I had first envisaged. Wifey encouraged me to try an allotment as I have always had a keen interest in growing stuff.

At first I was dubious thinking I was just exchanging one type of work for another. Anyways on the principle "it cant hurt to try"I got my name down and eventually got my first half plot. Two years on I have 3 further plots and a group of friends with similar age and outlooks.

The improvement in my mental and physical well being is immeasurable, and whilst I doubt it would suit some people, the principal of joining in with the group of any activity can provide a focus and an outlet. We usually have coffee together around ten each day and get stuck in to all kinds of topics. Once we have put the world to rights its back to the weeding lol.

Just hope you can all enjoy your later life as much as I am, and don't  be shy about meeting people, they will welcome you warmly into the group in most cases 🦍

 

 

[Alph]

3 hours ago, CodnorRam said:

Dont normally put stuff like this , but kinda feeling like im wasting my life. just seem to work , have my tea and go to sleep. Any ambition has gone out the window. quite tragic really. So iv started bodybuilding/weightlifting again after many years away and im taking up archery and gonna try and grow my own veg in garden to feel like iv actually accomplished something 

Good job on recognising it mate. Sometimes just creeps up on you. Can't be bothered to get up in the morning, can't be bothered at work, can't be bothered to cook or clean at home, can't be bothered to take care of yourself...  It just spirals. 

 

[BatRam]

43 minutes ago, Alph said:

Good job on recognising it mate. Sometimes just creeps up on you. Can't be bothered to get up in the morning, can't be bothered at work, can't be bothered to cook or clean at home, can't be bothered to take care of yourself...  It just spirals. 

 

thats exactly it. Everything just dominoes , weight gain , struggling with my head and then as you say not wanting to do anything or see anyone. its very strange when think about it 

[Anag Ram]

4 hours ago, CodnorRam said:

Dont normally put stuff like this , but kinda feeling like im wasting my life. just seem to work , have my tea and go to sleep. Any ambition has gone out the window. quite tragic really. So iv started bodybuilding/weightlifting again after many years away and im taking up archery and gonna try and grow my own veg in garden to feel like iv actually accomplished something 

All the best CodnorRam. Sometimes doing stuff for other people can seem easier and give a sense of wellbeing. There are loads of charitable opportunities, but even just doing a favour for a mate or family member can be uplifting.

When you’re feeling brighter I’m sure you’ll recognise you’ve achieved more than you give yourself credit for.

If you’re still struggling it can help to share with a stranger. The Counselling Directory can be a good place to start, but even telling your GP and/or family members lets some of the anxiety out.

 

[Alph]

3 hours ago, CodnorRam said:

thats exactly it. Everything just dominoes , weight gain , struggling with my head and then as you say not wanting to do anything or see anyone. its very strange when think about it 

Think I said it before but depression always seemed to me like it has a calculated plan to beat you. 

First step is try and isolate you. Bit by bit you draw in on yourself. Even if you have a house full, you find ways to push people away from any meaningful connection. Outwardly you can even give off the merry vibes sometimes but internally you know it's not genuine. 

Before you know it, you've isolated yourself physically or mentally or both. Now comes the beating yourself up stage. In my experiences anyway. What do I add? Who would actually care if I wasn't here? What mark have I made? I don't even like me. 

Then you can even beat yourself up with the thoughts of people being far worse off than you. You don't have anything to be depressed about. 

It's like the thoughts aren't your own and your under attack. 

It's hard to even recognise you're in a hole half the time. But it sounds like you're putting in the work to dig your way out. Might take time mate and you might need somewhere to clear your mind sometimes. Whether that's to a professional, a stranger or on this forum, however works for you.

[Tamworthram]

5 hours ago, Anag Ram said:

All the best CodnorRam. Sometimes doing stuff for other people can seem easier and give a sense of wellbeing. There are loads of charitable opportunities, but even just doing a favour for a mate or family member can be uplifting.

When you’re feeling brighter I’m sure you’ll recognise you’ve achieved more than you give yourself credit for.

If you’re still struggling it can help to share with a stranger. The Counselling Directory can be a good place to start, but even telling your GP and/or family members lets some of the anxiety out.

 

Spot on. I often feel the same especially since retiring. It sometimes feels that the days just pass me by. I’m now a trustee with two charities (a local listed building and Citizens Advice), act as mentor for another organisation that helps small clubs with the business planning etc and am a school governor. It’s certainly good to keep busy but also make sure you have some “me time” for your hobbies etc.

[Comrade 86]

10 hours ago, CodnorRam said:

Dont normally put stuff like this , but kinda feeling like im wasting my life. just seem to work , have my tea and go to sleep. Any ambition has gone out the window. quite tragic really. So iv started bodybuilding/weightlifting again after many years away and im taking up archery and gonna try and grow my own veg in garden to feel like iv actually accomplished something 

Chin up lad. Keep challenging yourself as you seem to be, look after your health, sleep regular hours, eat well. There's lots of obvious stuff, but you are at least self aware and already making good changes, so that's the hardest step out of the way.

Also, it's great that you've posted on here, but you could also have an informal chat with your GP, maybe get your bloods done just to make sure there's no physiological reason for the tiredness.

Anyway, stick with your new regime mate, don't deviate if the benefits are not immediately obvious. Give it time. That'd be my advice. Hope you're in better spirits very soon in any case mate.