Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[Anag Ram]

2 minutes ago, Archied said:

Yep you definitely need continuity to be able to build trust , then once you have that a good counsellor will listen and ask the right questions ,they don’t have the answers for anyone but good ones have the skill to help you find your own answers and keys , it’s a bloody hard job because if your doing it because you care as most are the urge to want to fix things for people and make them happy is very strong 

The desire to fix things is the hardest to fight.

As a counsellor, it’s important to keep remembering that the client is the only one who can find their own way through and that whilst they might get a better understanding of their issues, the sessions might not produce an actual improvement.

In time, often after sessions have finished, the client might approach life differently and find a way forward.

 

[B4’s Sister]

It’s a hard week. Daniel’s brick is being laid at PP this week. Daniel loved owls, so I bought a small owl ornament for the brick. Trying to distract myself with work but it’s hard 

[Gee SCREAMER !!]

Sky Sports.

Richarlison receives praises after admitting he has received counselling for depression.

There's your issue.

 

[Anag Ram]

14 hours ago, Gee SCREAMER !! said:

Sky Sports.

Richarlison receives praises after admitting he has received counselling for depression.

There's your issue.

 

Indeed. Counselling is something you participate in, it’s not one way.

[Leeds Ram]

Always hate this month as it would have been my dad's birthday. This year he'd have been 60. Also got the additional stress of my academic job contract running down and trying to work out if I'll get an extension or not... with my industry in the doldrums it's not a fun time to say the least. Also been feeling really down generally with work and struggling to find the motivation to finish what needs to be done. 

[richinspain]

23 hours ago, Leeds Ram said:

Always hate this month as it would have been my dad's birthday. This year he'd have been 60. Also got the additional stress of my academic job contract running down and trying to work out if I'll get an extension or not... with my industry in the doldrums it's not a fun time to say the least. Also been feeling really down generally with work and struggling to find the motivation to finish what needs to be done. 

Hopefully the Rams can give you some feel good factor this month. Look after yourself.

[Mucker1884]

Probably not the right place, as I ain't depressed in the true sense...

But I am more than a little down at present, and have also just realised I likely won't be feeling the buzz next matchday, as we'll be waving off my Father in Law earlier on Wednesday afternoon at Bramcote Crem, before drinking to his memory over in Ilson (In a back street pub on the actual street where he was born in 1931, and in the heart of the area he spent his entire 92.8 years!  I like that... a lot!)

Guess it will just have to be one of those occasions where football takes a firm second place to things more important!

I'll be back on it Thursday, and raring to go for the final push!  🍻

[Premier ram]

29 minutes ago, Mucker1884 said:

Probably not the right place, as I ain't depressed in the true sense...

But I am more than a little down at present, and have also just realised I likely won't be feeling the buzz next matchday, as we'll be waving off my Father in Law earlier on Wednesday afternoon at Bramcote Crem, before drinking to his memory over in Ilson (In a back street pub on the actual street where he was born in 1931, and in the heart of the area he spent his entire 92.8 years!  I like that... a lot!)

Guess it will just have to be one of those occasions where football takes a firm second place to things more important!

I'll be back on it Thursday, and raring to go for the final push!  🍻

All the best for Wednesday mate, hope he gets a great send off

[Leeds Ram]

1 hour ago, richinspain said:

Hopefully the Rams can give you some feel good factor this month. Look after yourself.

Thanks 🙂 

[Leeds Ram]

47 minutes ago, Mucker1884 said:

Probably not the right place, as I ain't depressed in the true sense...

But I am more than a little down at present, and have also just realised I likely won't be feeling the buzz next matchday, as we'll be waving off my Father in Law earlier on Wednesday afternoon at Bramcote Crem, before drinking to his memory over in Ilson (In a back street pub on the actual street where he was born in 1931, and in the heart of the area he spent his entire 92.8 years!  I like that... a lot!)

Guess it will just have to be one of those occasions where football takes a firm second place to things more important!

I'll be back on it Thursday, and raring to go for the final push!  🍻

Hope he has a great send off Mucker 🙂

[Mucker1884]

On 03/04/2024 at 12:27, Leeds Ram said:

Always hate this month as it would have been my dad's birthday. This year he'd have been 60. Also got the additional stress of my academic job contract running down and trying to work out if I'll get an extension or not... with my industry in the doldrums it's not a fun time to say the least. Also been feeling really down generally with work and struggling to find the motivation to finish what needs to be done. 

Such anniversaries are never great mate.  We just have to soldier on, I guess.

Not long passed both my parents birthdays (late Jan & early Feb), and whilst it does technically "get easier" as the years go by, the fade is admittedly minimal, and it still smarts over 4 decades later (Yeah, they both failed to reach their 50's!)

Personally, I go for a little nod towards "a birthday celebration", be that a short-sharp happy memory, a raised glass, or even a cheery wave skywards (if nobody's looking!).  It doesn't do to dwell on the negatives, but I appreciate that can sometimes be easier said than done.

Hang on in there buddy... and give the wave a try to the (not-so) old man, on his birthday!  🍻

[Mostyn6]

On 03/04/2024 at 12:27, Leeds Ram said:

Always hate this month as it would have been my dad's birthday. This year he'd have been 60. Also got the additional stress of my academic job contract running down and trying to work out if I'll get an extension or not... with my industry in the doldrums it's not a fun time to say the least. Also been feeling really down generally with work and struggling to find the motivation to finish what needs to be done. 

not wishing to downplay your worries in any way shape or form, and would never tell you how to feel about a beloved family member, but I have vast experience in the contracting/redundancy and general lack of security, and as s*** as it is, I've found that as long as I pick myself up, dust myself down, and conduct myself properly, the rewards will come and the situation resolves itself, I hope that whatever happens workwise, you back yourself and your ability and you are fine.

[Leeds Ram]

1 hour ago, Mostyn6 said:

not wishing to downplay your worries in any way shape or form, and would never tell you how to feel about a beloved family member, but I have vast experience in the contracting/redundancy and general lack of security, and as s*** as it is, I've found that as long as I pick myself up, dust myself down, and conduct myself properly, the rewards will come and the situation resolves itself, I hope that whatever happens workwise, you back yourself and your ability and you are fine.

Thanks Mostyn 🙂 Yeah, I've been talking to my partner and am applying for a few jobs and am waiting on a decision for funding on a new project so I am trying to stay as positive as I can. I am probably quite a 'glass half empty' person tbh, which is something I should probably work on. 

[Leeds Ram]

1 hour ago, Mucker1884 said:

Such anniversaries are never great mate.  We just have to soldier on, I guess.

Not long passed both my parents birthdays (late Jan & early Feb), and whilst it does technically "get easier" as the years go by, the fade is admittedly minimal, and it still smarts over 4 decades later (Yeah, they both failed to reach their 50's!)

Personally, I go for a little nod towards "a birthday celebration", be that a short-sharp happy memory, a raised glass, or even a cheery wave skywards (if nobody's looking!).  It doesn't do to dwell on the negatives, but I appreciate that can sometimes be easier said than done.

Hang on in there buddy... and give the wave a try to the (not-so) old man, on his birthday!  🍻

Yeah the anniversaries are never fun but as you say soldier on! I'm sorry to hear about your losses too. I've got some friends coming over on the date of my dad's birthday for a few drinks so will likely raise a glass to him and try to enjoy the day as much as I can 🙂

[Archied]

15 hours ago, Leeds Ram said:

Yeah the anniversaries are never fun but as you say soldier on! I'm sorry to hear about your losses too. I've got some friends coming over on the date of my dad's birthday for a few drinks so will likely raise a glass to him and try to enjoy the day as much as I can 🙂

Really don’t know if this helps ( probably not ) , but how it is for me ,

with a devastating loss I kind went with the well trodden phrase that it gets easier with time ,,, it didn’t / doesn’t and I came to the conclusion you learn to survive it , anniversary s are hard but I allow myself to feel the way they make you feel ( not sure you could stop it anyway ) , there’s also something a bit freeing and needed about those times where I can open the box and just be with the stuff that I probably wouldn’t survive if it was running round my head all the time,

not really sure I explain it properly 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Comrade 86]

On 03/04/2024 at 12:27, Leeds Ram said:

Always hate this month as it would have been my dad's birthday. This year he'd have been 60. Also got the additional stress of my academic job contract running down and trying to work out if I'll get an extension or not... with my industry in the doldrums it's not a fun time to say the least. Also been feeling really down generally with work and struggling to find the motivation to finish what needs to be done. 

Chin up lad. It's hard at certain times of the year. My mum went very early and despite that, I still dread October. All I can offer by way of encouragement is to think about what your dad would want for you. He'd not want his memory being something that weighs you down, I'm sure, at least that's what I tell myself when I get morose.

As for the work thing, that's the nature of contracting, I'm afraid and most I know have seen things slow down recently. Contractors do earn a pretty penny when in gainful employment and there are lots of benefits to not being tied into one entity, so my advice would be squirrel as much away as you can while you're contracted, to carry you through the periods when you're not. Also, don't be afraid to spread your wings and look outside the UK. Most other countries are not being crushed by high interest rates and you might well find gainful (and very well paid) employment elsewhere and you're young enough to take a risk or two, though not knowing what it is you do, I'm not sure whether this is relevant.

[BatRam]

On 03/04/2024 at 12:27, Leeds Ram said:

Always hate this month as it would have been my dad's birthday. This year he'd have been 60. Also got the additional stress of my academic job contract running down and trying to work out if I'll get an extension or not... with my industry in the doldrums it's not a fun time to say the least. Also been feeling really down generally with work and struggling to find the motivation to finish what needs to be done. 

Hey man , hopefully you get what youre looking for. But in the worse case scenario another door will always open. Even if you have to get a rubbish job just to make the bills pay till you get something else. Theres always stuff at supermarkets and stuff ( i know its prob nothing like what youre doing but atleast its money in the bank).

[BatRam]

20 hours ago, Mucker1884 said:

Probably not the right place, as I ain't depressed in the true sense...

But I am more than a little down at present, and have also just realised I likely won't be feeling the buzz next matchday, as we'll be waving off my Father in Law earlier on Wednesday afternoon at Bramcote Crem, before drinking to his memory over in Ilson (In a back street pub on the actual street where he was born in 1931, and in the heart of the area he spent his entire 92.8 years!  I like that... a lot!)

Guess it will just have to be one of those occasions where football takes a firm second place to things more important!

I'll be back on it Thursday, and raring to go for the final push!  🍻

Hope he has a good send off. Played many gigs in ilkeston and always enjoyed the pubs there. 

[Leeds Ram]

4 hours ago, Archied said:

Really don’t know if this helps ( probably not ) , but how it is for me ,

with a devastating loss I kind went with the well trodden phrase that it gets easier with time ,,, it didn’t / doesn’t and I came to the conclusion you learn to survive it , anniversary s are hard but I allow myself to feel the way they make you feel ( not sure you could stop it anyway ) , there’s also something a bit freeing and needed about those times where I can open the box and just be with the stuff that I probably wouldn’t survive if it was running round my head all the time,

not really sure I explain it properly 🤷🏻‍♂️

This does help 🙂 Thanks for the kind words I really appreciate them 🙂 

[Leeds Ram]

4 hours ago, Comrade 86 said:

Chin up lad. It's hard at certain times of the year. My mum went very early and despite that, I still dread October. All I can offer by way of encouragement is to think about what your dad would want for you. He'd not want his memory being something that weighs you down, I'm sure, at least that's what I tell myself when I get morose.

As for the work thing, that's the nature of contracting, I'm afraid and most I know have seen things slow down recently. Contractors do earn a pretty penny when in gainful employment and there are lots of benefits to not being tied into one entity, so my advice would be squirrel as much away as you can while you're contracted, to carry you through the periods when you're not. Also, don't be afraid to spread your wings and look outside the UK. Most other countries are not being crushed by high interest rates and you might well find gainful (and very well paid) employment elsewhere and you're young enough to take a risk or two, though not knowing what it is you do, I'm not sure whether this is relevant.

Thanks for the kind words I really appreciate them🙂 On the work, unfortunately my partner will definitely not sanction a move abroad. I'm applying for a job at Kings College London and am still waiting to hear on postdoctoral funding so trying not to panic too much 🙂