Phoenix Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 Why buy an upmarket Audi, have it sprayed with a diamante finish then park it in some shitty back street in Hinckley? The picture doesn't do it justice. Anon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 1 hour ago, MuespachRam said: That made me pee just a little bit. He's a one man disaster zone. 6'6" tall, and I'd guess close to 30st, if not beyond. He once wrote a Jeep off, when the seat brackets gave way going around an island, and he drove head on into the metal railings on the pavement. I heard an almighty crash from his office one day, opened the door to see what was going on, and he was stranded like a turtle on his back as his chair had collapsed. ''Fluck off'' was his reply when I asked if he needed a hand! He once took a flight from East Mids to Aberdeen to see a customer, only for the plane to be a tiny 16 seater. Before take off, the pilot did a pre flight check, and asked him to swop with the stewardess to keep the balance of the plane correct. He spent an hour facing all the other passengers in the fold down seat with the pregnancy extension belt on, like a monkey in the zoo, he said. My favourite though, he once went to Majorca with his then girlfriend and her family. Her 13 year old nephew was there, and wanted to go to the waterpark, so he volunteered to go with him. This ended up with him going tubing on the rapids, with predictable results. First his arse got stuck in the tube, then at some point during the ride he flipped over, and was stuck under the water unable to right himself for quite a while, in his own words his life flashed before his eyes. He had to be rescued by the lifeguards on duty, and too this day whenever he crosses the factory floor we make swimming motions and bubble sounds. I know nothing, ramit, Kinder and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 1 hour ago, 86 Hair Islands said: People discussing their incontinence issues. People who exaggerate. It was just a little pee... get over it! ? MuespachRam 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 On 25/02/2021 at 17:23, Mostyn6 said: People who install those toilets that when you flush, the water fills all the way to the top before disappearing. Caused me many a panic! That’s because of the amount you drop in the pan. Some people really are full of it, the weight of the water above forces the Richard the thirds around the bend. Little and often mate, little and often. Comrade 86 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyinLiverpool Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 14 hours ago, Anag Ram said: Tubby Welsh men talking about their opera career to sell insurance. What’s that all about? All so they could do a 'tenner' joke in the very first one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuespachRam Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 52 minutes ago, Rev said: He's a one man disaster zone. 6'6" tall, and I'd guess close to 30st, if not beyond. He once wrote a Jeep off, when the seat brackets gave way going around an island, and he drove head on into the metal railings on the pavement. I heard an almighty crash from his office one day, opened the door to see what was going on, and he was stranded like a turtle on his back as his chair had collapsed. ''Fluck off'' was his reply when I asked if he needed a hand! He once took a flight from East Mids to Aberdeen to see a customer, only for the plane to be a tiny 16 seater. Before take off, the pilot did a pre flight check, and asked him to swop with the stewardess to keep the balance of the plane correct. He spent an hour facing all the other passengers in the fold down seat with the pregnancy extension belt on, like a monkey in the zoo, he said. My favourite though, he once went to Majorca with his then girlfriend and her family. Her 13 year old nephew was there, and wanted to go to the waterpark, so he volunteered to go with him. This ended up with him going tubing on the rapids, with predictable results. First his arse got stuck in the tube, then at some point during the ride he flipped over, and was stuck under the water unable to right himself for quite a while, in his own words his life flashed before his eyes. He had to be rescued by the lifeguards on duty, and too this day whenever he crosses the factory floor we make swimming motions and bubble sounds. Wow, you would think after the tubing incident he might have done something about It next time you see him tell him hi from me and thank him for brightening up my Monday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted March 16, 2021 Author Share Posted March 16, 2021 When your greatest thread contribution to the forum gets forgotten in favour of a new one where none of the posts are actually on topic. #imnotbittermuchhonest DarkFruitsRam7, JoetheRam and Mucker1884 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted March 24, 2021 Author Share Posted March 24, 2021 When it's not "One rule for all" at work. Flexibility when it suits. I've had to pee off one of my team by preventing her from carrying over as many days holiday into next year as she wanted (company policy is maximum of 5). She's struggling to fit them in because we're also really busy and I've been told from above that she may have to lose a couple of days if work demands mean that she can't take the time off. Anyway, I've discovered that someone from another team has been asked (by those above) to cancel planned holidays in order to solve a specific problem - but he has been told that he can carry them over, going over the 5 days maximum in the process. It wouldn't surprise me if my team member left at the first opportunity after this, so I have taken the decision to tell her she can "un-officially" take them over and keep it between us. She currently works from home and no-one will know if she's on holiday other than me anyway. If it gets discovered, I can deal with it but it's not the point. DarkFruitsRam7, SSD and cstand 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 One to add to the list of work phrases that puts my teeth a little on edge. "Just putting it out there" - which somehow people think is an insurance policy to protect anything that they then say. A bit like people who put 'draft' all over their powerpoint slides (to, again, somehow protect against being accused of actually making a statement on something) and then come back saying 'but we agreed all of this, I presented it to you' to which I reply 'no, you presented me the draft for feedback'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 26 minutes ago, Wolfie said: It wouldn't surprise me if my team member left at the first opportunity after this, so I have taken the decision to tell her she can "un-officially" take them over and keep it between us. She currently works from home and no-one will know if she's on holiday other than me anyway. If it gets discovered, I can deal with it but it's not the point. I did the same with my team in lockdown - you just have to make sure they don't end up in hospital and have to explain why they tripped and twisted their ankle on a long weekend in Cornwall when they were supposed to be working from home. On a similar 'one rule for all' angle what about the home working requests now? All a bit grrrr for me. "Mary in accounts has been allowed to buy a chair, Steven is HR got a second screen to use at home". What next? Will they want to start claiming for their shower gel because if they hadn't been working they would have just spent the day unwashed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted March 24, 2021 Author Share Posted March 24, 2021 26 minutes ago, BaaLocks said: I did the same with my team in lockdown - you just have to make sure they don't end up in hospital and have to explain why they tripped and twisted their ankle on a long weekend in Cornwall when they were supposed to be working from home. On a similar 'one rule for all' angle what about the home working requests now? All a bit grrrr for me. "Mary in accounts has been allowed to buy a chair, Steven is HR got a second screen to use at home". What next? Will they want to start claiming for their shower gel because if they hadn't been working they would have just spent the day unwashed? Ah bugger. Does that mean I have to cancel my expense claim for extra milk & tea bags at home?. BaaLocks 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamworthram Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 10 hours ago, Wolfie said: When it's not "One rule for all" at work. Flexibility when it suits. I've had to pee off one of my team by preventing her from carrying over as many days holiday into next year as she wanted (company policy is maximum of 5). She's struggling to fit them in because we're also really busy and I've been told from above that she may have to lose a couple of days if work demands mean that she can't take the time off. Anyway, I've discovered that someone from another team has been asked (by those above) to cancel planned holidays in order to solve a specific problem - but he has been told that he can carry them over, going over the 5 days maximum in the process. It wouldn't surprise me if my team member left at the first opportunity after this, so I have taken the decision to tell her she can "un-officially" take them over and keep it between us. She currently works from home and no-one will know if she's on holiday other than me anyway. If it gets discovered, I can deal with it but it's not the point. The devil maybe in the detail but, based on what you have said the situations look slightly different. It sounds as if your team member has failed to ask for holiday she is entitled to (I understand she may have felt she couldn’t because of workload) whereas the other person has been specifically asked to cancel a holiday. It doesn’t seem unreasonable that, given he could have declined, that the company have agreed to waive the policy. If the couple of days you are talking about are within the 5 day carry over policy then I don’t see how the company can deny her holiday she is legally entitled to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dean (hick) Saunders Posted March 24, 2021 Share Posted March 24, 2021 Lockdown dog buyers. EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM. Anon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoetheRam Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 People who order cocktails in a pub. Slows down service, cost a bomb, taste disgusting. Gin and Tonic is allowed if you're a divorcee. Likewise whisky and water if you're an old soldier. Anon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 8 minutes ago, JoetheRam said: People who order cocktails in a pub. Here and now, today, I would gladly order a pint of cold sick in a pub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 40 minutes ago, BaaLocks said: Here and now, today, I would gladly order a pint of cold sick in a pub. Missing the Brunny? BaaLocks, JoetheRam, I know nothing and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mostyn6 Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 1 minute ago, Rev said: Missing the Brunny? That’s actually a pint of drained sweaty jockstraps there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Contain Nuts Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 Any TV show where people are basically showing off how rich they are and how nice their house is, how unhappy they are with their already massive, expensive, beautifully decorated home, how they've only budgeted £500,000 for their new one but may be able to push it to £600,000 if they absolutely can't find anything they like for such a paltry sum, that sort of thing. Bamfords. AndyinLiverpool, angieram, cstand and 2 others 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramslad1992 Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 7 hours ago, Rev said: Missing the Brunny? Blasphemy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted March 27, 2021 Share Posted March 27, 2021 12 hours ago, Coconut said: Any TV show where people are basically showing off how rich they are and how nice their house is, how unhappy they are with their already massive, expensive, beautifully decorated home, how they've only budgeted £500,000 for their new one but may be able to push it to £600,000 if they absolutely can't find anything they like for such a paltry sum, that sort of thing. Bamfords. Bamfords indeed, but you forgot the link... https://www.bamfords-auctions.co.uk/departments/furniture-works-of-art/ ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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