TimRam Posted February 9, 2022 Share Posted February 9, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 I've been trying to get an appointment to see my doctor for ages. I finally saw him on Tuesday and showed him the rash on my testicles. He just ignored me and kept pushing his trolley round Tesco. Tamworthram, Stive Pesley, Steve How Hard? and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramslad1992 Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 On 09/02/2022 at 12:37, TimRam said: I’d still go! ?♂️ WharfedaleRam 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 11 hours ago, uttoxram75 said: I've been trying to get an appointment to see my doctor for ages. I finally saw him on Tuesday and showed him the rash on my testicles. He just ignored me and kept pushing his trolley round Tesco. Was he shopping for his wife, as I’m sure I heard him mention something about her peas? Steve How Hard? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 14 minutes ago, Mucker1884 said: Was he shopping for his wife, as I’m sure I heard him mention something about her peas? Leave my petis pois out of this... Mucker1884 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted February 10, 2022 Share Posted February 10, 2022 Just got in and seen the news. Johnsons flopped and Dicks out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gritstone Ram Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 Pinched this off BAWT. The three wise men walk into the stable where Mary is holding a new born baby. ”Jesus Christ?” said the wise men. Mary turned round and said “I’m sorry we’ve already named him Wayne.” Miggins 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob The Badger Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 Good guess TimRam and cstand 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted February 12, 2022 Share Posted February 12, 2022 Gee SCREAMER !!, Bob The Badger, uttoxram75 and 3 others 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 In his job, a friend of mine has never lost a case. That makes him Gatwick's top baggage handler...... TimRam 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uttoxram75 Posted February 13, 2022 Share Posted February 13, 2022 Went for a job interview at the local Blacksmiths today. He asked if I’d ever shoed a horse. No, I said, but I once told a donkey to duck off. TimRam, Wolfie and Steve How Hard? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. P Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 i-Ram 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cstand Posted February 14, 2022 Share Posted February 14, 2022 Steve How Hard? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cstand Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 (edited) Not sure why the thread title has been change he never offended me over the years Edited February 15, 2022 by cstand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 7 minutes ago, cstand said: Not sure was the thread title has been change he never offended me over the years Really? Have you any idea how many brooms he beheaded over the years! #broomist! cstand 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sufferingfool Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 i-Ram, Steve How Hard? and cstand 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-Ram Posted February 15, 2022 Share Posted February 15, 2022 …. and there Andrew (the artist formerly known as Prince) was thinking that his legal separation from a Sarah Fergusson was bloody expensive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hans Datdo-Dishes Posted February 16, 2022 Share Posted February 16, 2022 A man's about to go to the pub again and his wife's not happy. She complains that he gets drunk every night and she's had enough. She threatens to leave him if he goes. He goes anyway! He gets bladdered and is sick all down his jacket. His mates know about his wife and suggest that he puts a twenty pound note in his jacket pocket and, when his wife complains, he can say that someone was sick down his front and the money is for the dry cleaning. He gets home and his wife goes mad. He explains that someone was sick down his front and he reaches into his jacket pocket for the twenty pound note and says they gave him the note to dry clean the jacket. His wife notices that he is holding two notes and questions why there are two. He said that "the second one is from the bloke who sh@t in my pants". Steve How Hard?, Wolfie and Rev 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted February 16, 2022 Share Posted February 16, 2022 14 hours ago, i-Ram said: …. and there Andrew (the artist formerly known as Prince) was thinking that his legal separation from a Sarah Fergusson was bloody expensive. Steve How Hard? and i-Ram 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted February 16, 2022 Share Posted February 16, 2022 8 hours ago, Hans Datdo-Dishes said: A man's about to go to the pub again and his wife's not happy. She complains that he gets drunk every night and she's had enough. She threatens to leave him if he goes. He goes anyway! He gets bladdered and is sick all down his jacket. His mates know about his wife and suggest that he puts a twenty pound note in his jacket pocket and, when his wife complains, he can say that someone was sick down his front and the money is for the dry cleaning. He gets home and his wife goes mad. He explains that someone was sick down his front and he reaches into his jacket pocket for the twenty pound note and says they gave him the note to dry clean the jacket. His wife notices that he is holding two notes and questions why there are two. He said that "the second one is from the bloke who sh@t in my pants". Thank you Clement Freud MaltRam 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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