Lawrence and Bennett Convicted of drink driving

[Coneheadjohn]

29 minutes ago, 86 Schmokes & a Pancake said:

My old dear underwent a routine biopsy at St Tommy's in Lambeth. She was fine the next day, if somewhat feisty what with being deprived of her fags and booze. 24 hours later I got a call from the hospital to say she'd fallen ill and had been moved to the ICU. Turns out she'd caught pneumonia and septicemia (MRSA) on the ward. She never recovered consciousness and I spent her last 72 hours alive watching her life signs ebb away as black sludge pissed out of her nose. It was duckin grim and I still react badly when I think about her now. She was only 53 at the time.

To say I went off the rails would be a massive understatement. I was full-on dangerous and not for a short while either. Recklessness bordering on a death wish is not an unusual reaction to the death of loved ones I came to understand and as such, I've a deal of sympathy where Tom is concerned if as seems to be the case, he is struggling with his head. It doesn't excuse what he and Mason did but to my mind it makes it rather more comprehensible, in Tom's case at least. I'd also venture that climbing all over the lad now ain't really gonna help much though I understand why folk are angered by the idiocy of what went on. All I'd say to those folks is just consider how he might be feeling and if you can, be prepared to give him (and even Mason) a chance to redeem himself because IMHO, stuff is not always as black and white as we all tend to assume.

 

Bloody hell...don’t know what to say.

[europia]

10 hours ago, rynny said:

How have the club and courts been extremely lenient? 

Extremely lenient? 

Neither has lost their job or been given a custodial sentence. Not that there is anything unusual in that for high profile individuals. Of course I wouldn't particularly wish prison on either of them. However a wages fine isn't really going to have much impact, considering the level of earnings of championship footballers. 

[Comrade 86]

5 minutes ago, Van Cone De Head said:

Bloody hell...don’t know what to say.

Nothing to say bud. There's loads on here who have their own stories to tell, yourself included. The point I'm trying to make is that while I've always admired the fortitude of the Conehead clan, not everyone is made of such stern stuff and I think Tom is very likely one such lad. This said, those with differing experiences will doubtless have different ways of looking at this too and I acknowledge and respect that. It's a plea for patience is all!

[Spanish]

41 minutes ago, europia said:

Neither has lost their job or been given a custodial sentence. Not that there is anything unusual in that for high profile individuals. Of course I wouldn't particularly wish prison on either of them. However a wages fine isn't really going to have much impact, considering the level of earnings of championship footballers. 

Have you not read the many informed comments explaining the court ruling was not lenient?  Or does that not suit your agenda

[Anag Ram]

1 hour ago, 86 Schmokes & a Pancake said:

My old dear underwent a routine biopsy at St Tommy's in Lambeth. She was fine the next day, if somewhat feisty what with being deprived of her fags and booze. 24 hours later I got a call from the hospital to say she'd fallen ill and had been moved to the ICU. Turns out she'd caught pneumonia and septicemia (MRSA) on the ward. She never recovered consciousness and I spent her last 72 hours alive watching her life signs ebb away as black sludge pissed out of her nose. It was duckin grim and I still react badly when I think about her now. She was only 53 at the time.

To say I went off the rails would be a massive understatement. I was full-on dangerous and not for a short while either. Recklessness bordering on a death wish is not an unusual reaction to the death of loved ones I came to understand and as such, I've a deal of sympathy where Tom is concerned if as seems to be the case, he is struggling with his head. It doesn't excuse what he and Mason did but to my mind it makes it rather more comprehensible, in Tom's case at least. I'd also venture that climbing all over the lad now ain't really gonna help much though I understand why folk are angered by the idiocy of what went on. All I'd say to those folks is just consider how he might be feeling and if you can, be prepared to give him (and even Mason) a chance to redeem himself because IMHO, stuff is not always as black and white as we all tend to assume.

 

Everyone's response to grief is individual and it's not for others to judge. 

I am so sorry for your loss. Your story is an important contribution to this thread. 

[Mucker1884]

42 minutes ago, 86 Schmokes & a Pancake said:

My old dear underwent a routine biopsy at St Tommy's in Lambeth. She was fine the next day, if somewhat feisty what with being deprived of her fags and booze. 24 hours later I got a call from the hospital to say she'd fallen ill and had been moved to the ICU. Turns out she'd caught pneumonia and septicemia (MRSA) on the ward. She never recovered consciousness and I spent her last 72 hours alive watching her life signs ebb away as black sludge pissed out of her nose. It was duckin grim and I still react badly when I think about her now. She was only 53 at the time.

To say I went off the rails would be a massive understatement. I was full-on dangerous and not for a short while either. Recklessness bordering on a death wish is not an unusual reaction to the death of loved ones I came to understand and as such, I've a deal of sympathy where Tom is concerned if as seems to be the case, he is struggling with his head. It doesn't excuse what he and Mason did but to my mind it makes it rather more comprehensible, in Tom's case at least. I'd also venture that climbing all over the lad now ain't really gonna help much though I understand why folk are angered by the idiocy of what went on. All I'd say to those folks is just consider how he might be feeling and if you can, be prepared to give him (and even Mason) a chance to redeem himself because IMHO, stuff is not always as black and white as we all tend to assume.

 

Grim indeed mate. 
Mine was somewhat less hectic, thankfully.
I spent the last 3 months of Mum's life watching her slowly waste away, (13st+ to barely over 5st) getting more and more sleepy, and when she was awake, appearing more and more "drunk" as the morphine was increased almost daily. towards the end. (It was even almost "fun" for a short while, as although she was talking boolux, at least she was laughing again!) 
The last week went downhill rapidly, of course, and I'm not ashamed to say that the final result came somewhat as a relief, if truth be told.  At least she was at home, in her own bed, surrounded by her family (Dad, me, and my 4 sisters).

That was back in '79, when most cancers could just as easily have been called "The Big G"... for Goodbye!  Usually found too late, and next to nothing could be done about it, as was the case with Mum.
She was 43, I was 16, and just setting out in adulthood, after leaving school 3 months earlier.  She never did get to see my nice new shiny bike I bought (Out the Catalogue!) to get me to my first day at work!

Dad never truly recovered, and joined up with her again 2 years later, at the age of 49, when I was 18.  There was no warning this time.  No time for goodbye's.  Non of his kids with him (although I was with him 3 hours earlier, when he was still as well as ever, and with no sign of the heart attack just around the corner!).
That hurts me more, if I'm honest, despite the obvious pain and suffering that Mum went through. Those goodbyes are precious. 

They both seemed "old" to me at that stage.  At 56 now, I now know just how grossly mistaken I was!  

I can't say I went off the rails, or even suffered "more than most".  Of course I grieved, but I don't think anything I did affected anyone else, or made me stand out from the crowd.

My 3 elder sisters and me do of course have many fond memories of our parents.  Shamefully, we often forget just how few such memories little sis has, as she was 7 & 9 when they went.  I never have been able to comprehend how she coped, but cope she did, with the help of the elder sisters, and various relatives.

 

I guess we all have our 5h*t to bear, and we all react differently.  Unfortunately, there is no "right way" to react.  That's "nature" for yer!

 

#Shoutouttoallmums

xxx

[europia]

17 minutes ago, Spanish said:

Have you not read the many informed comments explaining the court ruling was not lenient?  Or does that not suit your agenda

The judicial system is subjective and often open to interpretation. Hence different sentences / punishments can be imposed, for similar or identical crimes.

This is a forum where posters contribute their own views / opinions. Does that not suit your agenda??

[Comrade 86]

7 minutes ago, Mucker1884 said:

#Shoutouttoallmums

xxx

Here, here @Mucker1884 Very sorry to read your post. So young, you and your folks. I was just shy of 30 and still lacked the emotional maturity to deal with it all in a sensible way hence my thoughts on Lawrence. The old boy had a cancer scare recently which being an absolute terminator he beat but it did send me into a bit of a flatspin again hence my thinking on Tom. But for the grace of god eh! 

[Mucker1884]

7 minutes ago, 86 Schmokes & a Pancake said:

Here, here @Mucker1884...

It's "Hear, Hear"!

Just as you was starting to grow on me!  ?

[Tamworthram]

1 hour ago, europia said:

Neither has lost their job or been given a custodial sentence. Not that there is anything unusual in that for high profile individuals. Of course I wouldn't particularly wish prison on either of them. However a wages fine isn't really going to have much impact, considering the level of earnings of championship footballers. 

You could argue that the fine applied by DCFC, the maximum they could, is more of a financial penalty than sacking them. There is a reasonable chance that another club, possibly abroad, would have signed them up especially Lawrence.

[1of4]

1 hour ago, europia said:

Neither has lost their job or been given a custodial sentence. Not that there is anything unusual in that for high profile individuals. Of course I wouldn't particularly wish prison on either of them. However a wages fine isn't really going to have much impact, considering the level of earnings of championship footballers. 

Why would they lose their jobs? Their job doesn't require them to do any driving to fulfill their terms of employment.

There's probably hundreds of convicted drunk drivers around the country that have never even informed their employers about their conviction, if it didn't impact on the ability to do their job and there is no requirement to do so in their contract of employment.

After reading some of the comments that the sentences were to lenient. Maybe being pilloried in Derby marketplace would have been more of an acceptable punishment. Sod it, why not have them hanged drawn and quartered. That should satisfy some posters.

 

[europia]

9 minutes ago, Tamworthram said:

You could argue that the fine applied by DCFC, the maximum they could, is more of a financial penalty than sacking them. There is a reasonable chance that another club, possibly abroad, would have signed them up especially Lawrence.

Yes in a purely financial context. Sacking them would also hurt the club (financially). I expect Lawrence would be sold if the club could get a couple of million for him. Like Butterfield and Johnson before, we paid well over the odds for a player who hasn't lived up to expectations on the pitch. I imagine Bennett might attract interest from league one clubs, for a token fee. 

[europia]

1 minute ago, 1of4 said:

There's probably hundreds of convicted drunk drivers around the country that have never even informed their employers about their conviction, if it didn't impact on the ability to do their job and there is no requirement to do so in their contract of employment.

 On the flip side there are lot's of people who will have lost their jobs under such circumstances. I'm under no illusions that pro footballers as well other high profile individuals tend to have allowances made. It's the just the way the world works. 

[Comrade 86]

45 minutes ago, Mucker1884 said:

It's "Hear, Hear"!

Just as you was starting to grow on me!  ?

Am I allowed to blame auto-correct? ?

[Owd miner]

Wa a sack o s****. They played the game very well, top lawyers etc. I bet they are laffing their bo***** of behind closed doors . You say owt ta get off wi it ..been there done it .. cant believe sum folk on here are so gullible...I dont feel sorry fer em one bit. Absolute b******

[YorkshireRam]

3 minutes ago, Owd miner said:

Wa a sack o s****. They played the game very well, top lawyers etc. I bet they are laffing their bo***** of behind closed doors . You say owt ta get off wi it ..been there done it .. cant believe sum folk on here are so gullible...I dont feel sorry fer em one bit. Absolute b******

Do you want a round of applause for your complete lack of compassion or something??

Some of the discussion on here regarding mental health and trying to extend a compassionate mindset to an upsetting situation has been seriously admirable with people sharing brave stories about their own experiences of loss, those are important conversations to be having.

For you then to come along with such a crass remark is pretty immature, totally unnecessary and worst of all is littered with assumptions that likely aren't true. Pathetic

[RamNut]

The club were very quick to say that the players would be fully supported back into the team. and that was before they'd even had their own internal inquiry. Thereafter it was all a bit sham.

Immediate suspensions pending the outcome of the trial would have been totally understandable. But there then followed a strange court case with imaginary roundabouts and tales of panicking and fleeing the scene, leaving an injured person behind.

Unfortunately no-one comes out of it with any credit. 

 

 

 

[rynny]

3 hours ago, europia said:

Neither has lost their job or been given a custodial sentence. Not that there is anything unusual in that for high profile individuals. Of course I wouldn't particularly wish prison on either of them. However a wages fine isn't really going to have much impact, considering the level of earnings of championship footballers. 

There is nothing unusual in that for non high profile cases, either.

So what is a just punishment, in your eyes, seeing as you said that what they have received is extremely lenient?

I never understand the argument that they earn so much money that they won't miss it, everyone lives within their means, as will they, it will effect them more than people realise, or want to realise. 

[IslandExile]

1 minute ago, RamNut said:

Unfortunately no-one comes out of it with any credit. 

I think Mel and Cocu treated it all in a dignified manner. It's not all about punishment, as has been said a lot, mental welfare matters too. I believe Cocu's actions of quickly integrating them back into the squad showed that compassion.

Like others though, I think this has all now been covered at length.

I do think, collectively, it's time to move on. However, I accept that for many who have been more closely affected by the issues, particularly on a personal level, that will be more difficult and more time will be needed. Best wishes to those.

[TommyPowell]

3 hours ago, 86 Schmokes & a Pancake said:

Nothing to say bud. There's loads on here who have their own stories to tell, yourself included. The point I'm trying to make is that while I've always admired the fortitude of the Conehead clan, not everyone is made of such stern stuff and I think Tom is very likely one such lad. This said, those with differing experiences will doubtless have different ways of looking at this too and I acknowledge and respect that. It's a plea for patience is all!

Isnt there a saying something about walking a mile in another mans shoes