ramit Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 8 hours ago, admira said: 13 At B&Q this morning my wife got a ladder in her tights...........she's an amazing shop lifter! admira and Comrade 86 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 (edited) 37 minutes ago, admira said: 13 At B&Q this morning my wife got a ladder in her tights...........she's an amazing shop lifter! As she's not the official owner, I think that means they aren't her real ladders. They are step-ladders. Edited December 31, 2023 by Mucker1884 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premier ram Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 2 hours ago, admira said: 1 Everyone in my village wears jumpers that are two sizes too small......in fact, we're a very tight knit community 2 I filled Grandad's inhaler with Nitrous Oxide before he went to the Nat West this morning ........He was laughing all the way to the bank. 3 I got scammed by a Nigerian prince yesterday............his version of 'Purple Rain' was dreadful. 4 I don't get out very often these days......probably cos my cricket bat is 3 foot wide. 5 I was really surprised by the quality of the intricate tattoo I got in Madrid......No one expects the Spanish ink precision. 6 My wife has joined a self-help group for people who talk way too much........ It’s called ‘On & On Anon’. 7 I bought a car from the dwarf at my local athletics club ........ Great little runner. 8 Welcome to 'Owning up to Flatulence Club',But I warn you, it's not for the 'ain't farted'. 9 I still retain my membership of the local Constipation Club........... even though I haven't been for ages. 10 I've decided to form a Christmas choir. Anyone is welcome to join.........So far, it’s just Dean, Don, Mary, Lee and I. 11 I wanted to have a shower like Frank Sinatra........ so I faced the vinyl curtain. 12 Asked the girl in Waterstones for a book by Shakespeare." "Certainly sir, 'which one?'" she asked..............'William,' I replied. 13 At B&Q this morning my wife got a ladder in her tights...........she's an amazing shop lifter! 14 Took my grandad to one of those fish spas where little fish eat the dead skin. It took ages and cost £95.......but it was still a lot cheaper than a funeral… 15 The doctor just told me that I may have had Laryngitis for maybe about two weeks...........roughly speaking. 16 The man who invented the Speed Boat has died, his funeral is next Thursday....... followed by a large wake. 17 I just got called unsavoury........I've never been so unsalted in all my life. 18 I've been made secretary of the Time Stealing Society.......I take the minutes. 19 I never knew my father as a child.......which is hardly surprising as he was in his late twenties when I was born. 20 I'm currently slap bang wallop, in the middle of a book about sound effects. Who got a Tim Vine joke book for Christmas then, some of them are brilliant mate cstand and admira 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miggins Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 (edited) http https://www.thefarside.com/20240101/1 Gary Larson is so brilliant! Edited January 2 by Miggins Comrade 86 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 1 hour ago, Miggins said: http https://www.thefarside.com/20240101/1 Gary Larson is so brilliant! @Miggins, just moments before posting a link... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miggins Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 1 hour ago, Mucker1884 said: @Miggins, just moments before posting a link... Is that what I did? I'm not very savvy with this posting stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 4 minutes ago, Miggins said: Is that what I did? I'm not very savvy with this posting stuff. Yeah. "Error 404 Page not found" stuff. I'd do a screenshot, but I ain't that savvy myself! 🤣 Miggins 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. P Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Ram-Alf and Miggins 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrade 86 Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 14 hours ago, Miggins said: Is that what I did? I'm not very savvy with this posting stuff. Here you go Miggs. For future reference: 'control x' = COPY, control v = paste or tap and hold then select option when using a tablet or phone Miggins 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miggins Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 9 hours ago, Comrade 86 said: Here you go Miggs. For future reference: 'control x' = COPY, control v = paste or tap and hold then select option when using a tablet or phone 🥰@Comrade 86! Your name is writ large in the book of good deeds!! Comrade 86 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ram-Alf Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 10 hours ago, Comrade 86 said: Here you go Miggs. For future reference: 'control x' = COPY, control v = paste or tap and hold then select option when using a tablet or phone It's a sad day when the artist for the joke can only get a Dromedary who's had his hump run over by a motorbike to replace a Camel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrade 86 Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 4 hours ago, Ram-Alf said: It's a sad day when the artist for the joke can only get a Dromedary who's had his hump run over by a motorbike to replace a Camel Come now Alf, I'm sure you know that's a Bactrian camel, not a Dromedary, also known as, Camelus Bactrianus, or the Mongolian Camel. He looks rather thirsty too though, poor thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ram-Alf Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 7 hours ago, Comrade 86 said: Come now Alf, I'm sure you know that's a Bactrian camel, not a Dromedary, also known as, Camelus Bactrianus, or the Mongolian Camel. He looks rather thirsty too though, poor thing! I rest my case, These were found stuck to it's hoofs 😁 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted January 4 Share Posted January 4 22 minutes ago, Ram-Alf said: I rest my case, These were found stuck to it's hoofs 😁 First one to mention toes gets reported! I mean it! richinspain, GB SPORTS, Steve How Hard? and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimRam Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 Alph, MaltRam, Norman and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
admira Posted January 9 Author Share Posted January 9 Ram-Alf, GB SPORTS, Bob The Badger and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 GB SPORTS, maxjam, Scott129 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxjam Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 GB SPORTS, The_Sheriff, Wolfie20 and 12 others 1 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 Wolfie, The_Sheriff, Norman and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
admira Posted January 12 Author Share Posted January 12 beardyjim, Steve How Hard?, Bob The Badger and 7 others 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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