TramRam Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 I went to a Greek restaraunt last week and ordered the Octopus, The waiter said there'll be a 4 hour wait Sir, 4 hours I said, Why's that, The waiter replied, We cook the Octopus alive and they keep turning the gas off. I know nothing 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TramRam Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 (edited) So there I was at school where we were doing the letter of the day, Todays letter was "N", The teacher says "Paul tell the class what you're not very good at begining with the letter N", I said spelling. I was standing outside school and one of the parents came up to me and asked "what year is my Daughter in" I said 2020. My Brother died last week, He finished last in a charity run race for life. I'm thinking of switching my energy provider from Red Bull to Lucozade. Edited February 25, 2020 by TramRam Alph 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaltRam Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 I sat on the edge of the bed last night pulling off my boxers. Missus said, 'you spoil those dogs'. Alph, Rev, Comrade 86 and 8 others 1 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GboroRam Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Chester40, angieram, EtoileSportiveDeDerby and 3 others 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester40 Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 How embarrassing... I just asked the guy in Boots what gets rid of Coronavirus. He looked at me and mumbled “ammonia cleaner” 'Wow, so sorry I thought you worked here'... .. Comrade 86, Rev, Ghost of Clough and 8 others 1 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stagtime Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Bad Sheep, Mick Brolly, Steve How Hard? and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 The companies who make sanitising gel must be rubbing their hands together i-Ram and cstand 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 The chancellor says that abolishing the tampon tax will require revenue to be raised elsewhere. I knew there'd be strings attached. Steve How Hard?, i-Ram and Rev 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Contain Nuts Posted March 12, 2020 Share Posted March 12, 2020 Wolfie, EtoileSportiveDeDerby and Mick Brolly 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick Brolly Posted March 13, 2020 Share Posted March 13, 2020 GboroRam 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester40 Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken. I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriggRam Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 GboroRam 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted March 16, 2020 Share Posted March 16, 2020 ramit, EtoileSportiveDeDerby, Dimmu and 6 others 3 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 Lidl management today said that because of the panic buying and pandemonium in their stores, that they are taking drastic action and opening another till. Pearl Ram, I know nothing, cstand and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted March 17, 2020 Share Posted March 17, 2020 Just now, Bwash_Ram said: Lidl management today said that because of the panic buying and pandemonium in their stores, that they are taking drastic action and opening another till. They have also enforced limits on bulk buying Only 1 mig welder, 2 x inflatable swimming pool and 3 x socket sets per person Alph, Mick Brolly and Tamworthram 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxjam Posted March 18, 2020 Share Posted March 18, 2020 Mucker1884, bigbadbob, i-Ram and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted March 18, 2020 Share Posted March 18, 2020 I told my friends a rather complicated joke about coronavirus. It took a while but eventually they all got it. Mick Brolly 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted March 18, 2020 Share Posted March 18, 2020 I've just got back from Germany - everyone was panic buying sausages and cheese It truly was the wurst kase scenario Bwash_Ram, May Contain Nuts, I know nothing and 1 other 1 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriggRam Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Tamworthram, cstand and King Kevin 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 When it comes to sending kids to school, are the staff of Timpsons key workers? i-Ram, Mucker1884 and Steve How Hard? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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