Mucker1884 Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 1 hour ago, BaaLocks said: When it comes to sending kids to school, are the staff of Timpsons key workers? Hmmm... Good question.... If we go into Lockdown, won't Locksmiths just escape? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 On 18/03/2020 at 11:15, SchtivePesley said: I've just got back from Germany - everyone was panic buying sausages and cheese It truly was the wurst kase scenario It gets worse - I'm now back in the UK and panic buyers have cleared all the shelves of hummus and guacamole. It's like a double dip recession. Comrade 86 and BriggRam 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 23 hours ago, SchtivePesley said: It gets worse - I'm now back in the UK and panic buyers have cleared all the shelves of hummus and guacamole. It's like a double dip recession. My mate is in Holland Everyone there is panic-buying loo roll and weed. But just for sh1ts and giggles. I know nothing, Comrade 86, Wolfie and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 On 20/03/2020 at 16:08, SchtivePesley said: My mate is in Holland Everyone there is panic-buying loo roll and weed. But just for sh1ts and giggles. My other mate is in France They have left the supermarkets looking like bomb sites. De brie is everywhere. cstand and Bwash_Ram 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 A man doesn't walk into a pub.......... GboroRam, i-Ram and Stive Pesley 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 The amount of jokes on here about coronavirus has reached worrying numbers. Seems like we are in the middle of a pundemic Steve How Hard?, Mucker1884, uttoxram75 and 3 others 2 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 1of4, ramit, Steve How Hard? and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramit Posted March 23, 2020 Share Posted March 23, 2020 @Alpha came up with a wicked one I'm trying to self isolate, but she wont duck off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubbles Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 A virile, middle-aged Italian gentleman named Salvatore was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he loved her senseless. After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No." Surprised, Salvatore reached for her and the loving resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion.. The loving finally ends and, again, Salvatore smiles and asks, "You finish?" Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No." Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied. Salvatore reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Salvatore falls onto his back, gasping.. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You finish?" Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispers in his ear, "No, I'm Norwegian." Rev and Mucker1884 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 I can't get over the term "Loved her senseless"! I am so gonna suggest that to Muckerette... Probably even on an afternoon now we're both at home... maybe about 2:55, just before our 3pm scone! Thank you! Oh yeah... Norwegian... I get it now! ? Bubbles 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubbles Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 11 hours ago, Mucker1884 said: I can't get over the term "Loved her senseless"! I am so gonna suggest that to Muckerette... Probably even on an afternoon now we're both at home... maybe about 2:55, just before our 3pm scone! Thank you! Oh yeah... Norwegian... I get it now! ? it said something else that was naughty so I changed it? Mucker1884 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19. Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer-14. Steve How Hard? and Mucker1884 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GboroRam Posted March 25, 2020 Share Posted March 25, 2020 6 hours ago, SchtivePesley said: Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19. Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer-14. You know, after Charles's news, Prince Andrew would be sweating now. If he could. Stive Pesley and Chester40 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 Paul from the chucklebrothers was stood next to me in Asda earlier I said "Oi, Two metre you" Mick Brolly, Hinzy9, i-Ram and 2 others 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bwash_Ram Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 Tamworthram, TramRam, Premier ram and 10 others 1 1 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve How Hard? Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 Steer clear of Tesco. This poor lass had her temperature taken anally earlier today before being allowed in store. dcfc the 1 4me, Mucker1884, Bwash_Ram and 2 others 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 37 minutes ago, Steve How Hard? said: Steer clear of Tesco. This poor lass had her temperature taken anally earlier today before being allowed in store. She really don't wanna be doing that. It looks highly dangerous! She ought to tell him to step away! Steve How Hard? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamworthram Posted March 27, 2020 Share Posted March 27, 2020 3 hours ago, Steve How Hard? said: Steer clear of Tesco. This poor lass had her temperature taken anally earlier today before being allowed in store. I thought it was another solution to the toilet roll shortage. Steve How Hard? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester40 Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 TramRam 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gritstone Ram Posted March 28, 2020 Share Posted March 28, 2020 Latest news, Dyson are going to provide 10000 ventilators. They tried the first one and the patient has started to pick up. Mucker1884, Steve How Hard?, Mick Brolly and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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