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King Kevin

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  1. A few random thoughts in no particular order . Really enjoyed that not always been the case at home this year. Baird for me was outstanding even help Fozzie out and still got back to his position . I never think we're going to concede late in the game anymore I work in the West Midlands so roll on Monday morning . Woke up with a stupid grin on my face . I genuinely think we are in with a shout. .
  2. 29318 if you think last season.
  3. I've kept an open mind the cynical old **** I am, but yes I'm starting to ******* believe.
  4. Cordon just being lifted apparently.
  5. New joke thread

    A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
  6. New joke thread

    The story of a certain man . As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind St Peter. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock move.' 'Oh', said the man. 'Whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresa's', replied St. Peter. 'The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.' 'Incredible', said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?' St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.' 'Where's Gordon Brown's clock?' asked the man. 'Brown's clock is in Jesus's office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.'
  7. New joke thread

    Missus was getting ready for bed the other night and was standing in front of the dressing table mirror ,my hairs going grey ,I've started getting wrinkles and everything's going South what do you reckon ? "There's bugger all wrong with your eyesight " I reply.
  8. A Duck Cob

    Jitty or twitchell is local to Derbyshire and Notts.
  9. A Duck Cob

    The mix is definitely local asked for a fish and a mix in a chippy in Sheffield they looked at me gone out.
  10. RIP Cheggers

    Sally James .
  11. For me this is a bit of a pivotal game ,for all of our perceived or otherwise lack of style our GD is on par with the other teams around us except Wolves .We have stuttered a bit at home but our away form is excellent ,if GR can find a game plan to beat Villa I do believe this would be a line in the sand and on we go . A defeat and the question marks would remain for a while, although I am pleasantly surprised at our league position with the present availability of midfield players at the club.This is the only area we are light in and if George was fully fit we would be so much better off.
  12. Tips to keep the peace at Xmas

    As we spend a lot of time with our loved ones a few tips on staying married /engaged /living happily together in the New Year. 1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour more. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4.) Go ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5.) Loud sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6.) That's OK: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!KK YOU! 9.) Don't worry about it, I'll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!
  13. My Lads op.

    I couldn't contemplate reading that never mind if it involved my child, I take my hat off to you all especially Joel .If Mr Irving isn't back until Spring have a great Christmas keep him fit as you can and try to put it behind you till next Spring mate .Easy for me to say I know but you all need to have the good times as well . Keep going boys .
  14. FA Cup 3rd Round Draw - Man Utd (A)

    Neither it makes you a very optimistic top dad.
  15. New joke thread

    I got home and told the wife I'd bumped into the milkman this morning and was chatting to him, he reckoned he'd bonked every woman on the street except one. That will be the snotty cow from number ten up the road she replied.
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