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New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)


admira

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 Tommy Cooper joke.
Man goes into newsagents and asks for the Daily Mirror. Newsagent says “do you want today’s or tomorrow’s?”. Man says “oh I’ll have tomorrow’s”. Newsagent says” Then come back tomorrow”

 

ha ha, bottle, glass,  bottle, glass

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26 minutes ago, Bigfella said:

It’s my wife’s birthday soon and she’s really difficult to buy for, so I asked what she wanted “Get me something silky”

No doubt this tin of emulsion will be the wrong colour for her.

I booked us a table for our silver wedding anniversary next Monday.

Now she's telling me she doesn't even like snooker!  

#who knew!

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