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New joke thread (trigger alert, may offend if you want it to)


admira

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5 hours ago, GboroRam said:

This Scottish guy flies the flag of whichever team is playing against England. RDT_20240707_1719126040069248635548257.thumb.jpg.b90b8417320275190194e157da64757a.jpg

Fair play to the guy. To go out of your way to procure the flags shows a deep committment to the cause.

I don't see it as a problem, i'd be disappointed in any sweaty who wanted England to win!

 

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2 hours ago, uttoxram75 said:

Fair play to the guy. To go out of your way to procure the flags shows a deep committment to the cause.

I don't see it as a problem, i'd be disappointed in any sweaty who wanted England to win!

 

Similar reaction in Ireland, of course.

I was in the Cat And Cage (a staunchly Republican pub in Drumcondra, Dublin) watching Albania v England back in 2001. Albania scored (near the end - I can't remember if that made it 1-2 or 1-3, which was the final score) and the pub almost exploded with cheers.

I made a comment to Noel, the guy who ran the B&B I was staying at, saying something jokey about how long they had been Albania fans, and that the reaction was perhaps a little over the top.

"Oh, it's just dat we don't loike de English" he replied. "Present company excepted, Eddie".

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I've had some new neighbours this last month from Tokyo Japan, The Wife came round and invited me to the Husbands 50th Birthday party.

I accepted...but she wanted to do something different to what they do in Japan, I said here in England the guests wait for the person who's birthday it is to walk into the room and turn the light on...then everyone shouts surprise.

I said I can take him for a few beers before then all guests will be able to get there in good time, She agreed and organised the party

The night is here and myself and Mr Jin Shu Umbogo-Tommy walk to the venue opened the door and turn the light on...the silence was deafening people were sitting with bags of flour, Sugar, Salt, Blankets, Rice and cans of petrol.

I asked his Wife...what's all this about...she turns round and claps her hands and everyone stands up and shouts...Supplies. 

 

I got my coat and left 😁

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6 hours ago, Eddie said:

Similar reaction in Ireland, of course.

"Oh, it's just dat we don't loike de English" he replied. "Present company excepted, Eddie".

Maybe not one for the joke thread but, while I find the smallmindedness of the ABE mindset a bit petty, you have to say they have good reason to bear a grudge. The population in Ireland has still to exceed the pre-famine levels, all due to an event that might not have been caused by the English but could certainly have been considerably alleviated (at the height of it's grip they were still exporting grain, lamb and beer back to England and many politicians considered it simply Darwinism).

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34 minutes ago, BaaLocks said:

Maybe not one for the joke thread but, while I find the smallmindedness of the ABE mindset a bit petty, you have to say they have good reason to bear a grudge. The population in Ireland has still to exceed the pre-famine levels, all due to an event that might not have been caused by the English but could certainly have been considerably alleviated (at the height of it's grip they were still exporting grain, lamb and beer back to England and many politicians considered it simply Darwinism).

 

IMG_2037.jpeg

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Posted (edited)
51 minutes ago, BaaLocks said:

Maybe not one for the joke thread but, while I find the smallmindedness of the ABE mindset a bit petty, you have to say they have good reason to bear a grudge. The population in Ireland has still to exceed the pre-famine levels, all due to an event that might not have been caused by the English but could certainly have been considerably alleviated (at the height of it's grip they were still exporting grain, lamb and beer back to England and many politicians considered it simply Darwinism).

Meanwhile - the Derby graffiti fella who did the Steve Bloomer one in the underpass has done this monstrosity on the wall of the old Clubhouse pub in Friargate. It's an Irish Bar in case you haven't guessed

Needless to say, our Irish friends are deeply unimpressed with the paddywhackery

image.thumb.png.99dcba71b2571dad77ff7bb169b89f32.png

 

Edited by Stive Pesley
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On 08/07/2024 at 09:19, Stive Pesley said:

Meanwhile - the Derby graffiti fella who did the Steve Bloomer one in the underpass has done this monstrosity on the wall of the old Clubhouse pub in Friargate. It's an Irish Bar in case you haven't guessed

Needless to say, our Irish friends are deeply unimpressed with the paddywhackery

image.thumb.png.99dcba71b2571dad77ff7bb169b89f32.png

 

I was in there today with my Daughter and Son in Law, The Landlord wanted this as he thought it was best suited for the name, The girl behind the bar who my Daughter introduced me to was a cheerleader champion at one time and loved the painting.

1st time in donkeys years I've been that far out of town, A nice place I guess...but nowt special, We had a few in the Iron Ram and finished in the Tiger Bar...town was very very quiet...I guess saving their loot for Sunday.

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A mate has 2 tickets for the England v Spain game on Sunday. 

He paid £360 each, including flights but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

If you're interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. 

It's at Guildford Registry Office, at 3pm. The bride's name is Sarah, she's 5'7" & quite attractive.

Pm for more details.

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1 hour ago, Hans Datdo-Dishes said:

A mate has 2 tickets for the England v Spain game on Sunday. 

He paid £360 each, including flights but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

If you're interested, he is looking for someone to take his place. 

It's at Guildford Registry Office, at 3pm. The bride's name is Sarah, she's 5'7" & quite attractive.

Pm for more details.

The old ones are the best. 😀 (jokes, not wives).

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