Genuine question. Am I being a prude???

[B4ev6is]

1 hour ago, Ram@Lincoln said:

"If you don't jump and bounce, you're a red." An easy child friendly version which my boy would sing when he came to matches.

No

No really thing one f bounce your a red.

[B4ev6is]

14 hours ago, Ram a lamb a ding dong said:

Appreciate the feedback. I was with 2 young children yesterday and guy in nearby area was giving it some.

What would you do in this instance? 

Challenge him

Put up with it

Report it to club

Just put up with no worth the abuse you would get.

[Ram@Lincoln]

34 minutes ago, B4ev6is said:

No

No really thing one f bounce your a red.

I can tell you don't have children.

The world doesn't revolve around watching Derby County. Not wanting to swear, stand or being able to attend every match doesn't make someone less of a supporter than you. You obviously have the time and financial freedom to go to all the matches. Others have families and work taking up time and expenses. 

For me, one away day costs about £100, which is about the same as six months of swimming lessons per child. It's a no brainer.

[B4ev6is]

9 minutes ago, Ram@Lincoln said:

I can tell you don't have children.

The world doesn't revolve around watching Derby County. Not wanting to swear, stand or being able to attend every match doesn't make someone less of a supporter than you. You obviously have the time and financial freedom to go to all the matches. Others have families and work taking up time and expenses. 

For me, one away day costs about £100, which is about the same as six months of swimming lessons per child. It's a no brainer.

Hey not me who was chanting it it was the dad of the little toddler I did think that come dont teach her that one but I do try not say really really bad ones. 

Think is now kids say bad words with  there friends heard them on local park f and all sorts some of them no elders 7 to 10 year olds.

 

[cannable]

Is it actually well advertised that it is actually the family corner? It’s where I had my first season ticket and then in 13/14 it randomly became the family section.
 

Always reminds me of when we were beaten 3-1 by Reading at home and some bloke was effing and blinding it.

Another bloke who’d taken a few kids just kept giving him daggers before eventually snapping “can you be quiet please?!”

”Come on, you can’t tell me you think they’re playing well”

There’s a tedious back and forth, the guy swearing not understanding why the other guy’s challenged him, the other guy not explicitly stating he’s annoyed because he’s brought kids. Only after about five minutes does the dad go “you don’t do it when there are kids about!”

“Oh, yeah, you’re right, fair enough.”

 

Whole thing would’ve been nipped in the bud if the dad just went “alright mate, can you just tone it down, there are kids about.”

 

You don’t have to call them out, just make them aware it’s a family section.

Edited February 20, 2023 by cannable

[Anag Ram]

I wonder whether the swearing is worse at Derby than with some other clubs?
I’ve been with a couple of friends who support other teams and they have all been surprised at the level of bad language in the chants.

I think the club should start a campaign for better behaviour in the family areas even though I suspect sadly it won’t be acted upon.

I’ll bet those who eff and Jeff are the same people who moan about the lack of respect shown by the youth of today.

 

[Mucker1884]

Not sure what the laws are, or even the ground rules themselves for elsewhere, but in the NE corner, there are specific signs on the subject of offensive language.  At/on the approaching stairs from the concourse (Defo stair 29, maybe others?), and also in yer face, on the back of the pitch-side hoardings.
There's also clear signage over the group of turnstiles nearest to Greggs (23 -28?), that you are entering the Family section.
There's no mention on my ST card.  Not sure about matchday tickets?  

[EssendonRam]

23 hours ago, Ram a lamb a ding dong said:

Appreciate the feedback. I was with 2 young children yesterday and guy in nearby area was giving it some.

What would you do in this instance? 

Challenge him

Put up with it

Report it to club

Approach the closest steward and they’ll hopefully address it on the spot. If they don’t, write to the club and explain the situation. I’d be surprised if there’s not something in the rules around behaviour standards in the family areas; there certainly are at Australian sporting venues. We even have an antisocial behaviour hotline advertised on scoreboards so supporters can report such behaviour less obviously.

For the record, I concur with the other comments in the thread; as someone who occasionally swears rather badly, that’s one thing I try never to do; swear in the vicinity of others’ kids. It’s just not on.

[BramcoteRam84]

10 hours ago, Ram@Lincoln said:

"If you don't jump and bounce, you're a red." An easy child friendly version which my boy would sing when he came to matches.

I use that one with my kids

[Donnyram]

Outside the South Stand I think the vast majority of people are generally considerate to the areas that they are sat.  However, there are individuals who have zero consideration and respect - they feel it is their right to swear as much is they like because “it’s the Derby game, init”.

Now I’m no prude and have spent many a day on the Popside and travelling to away games but I’d rather not have someone sat right behind me effing and jeffin abuse at all and sundry. (This is different to a few songs with choice words included).  When this then becomes you effing Cnut yawped into my sensitive luggholes then it becomes a bit much.

We’ve now moved from seats we’ve had for 10 years as a result. 

I wouldn’t take young children to the match until they had understood what is acceptable language “for them to use” in public.  They will hear it at school etc. but not within the boundaries of my home.  They will no doubt use this language with mates but NOT in front of Grandmas and young children in public

[BramcoteRam84]

I’ve sat in what is now (and for a good few years has been) the family area for a long time now, I had a ticket there long before I had a young family before it became the family area, there are many others also the same who have been there long before it became the family area who don’t have kids.  I can’t comment on other areas of the stadium but at times it can get fruity especially when there are a few bad decisions. 

I hold my hands up, there have been times where my behaviour has fallen short of the standards, sometimes the blood just boils over at poor officiating (although I’ve largely accepted all officials are bad in League 1 this season so don’t get as wound up as I did), or teams cheating or foul play, opposition players (Charlie Austin) inciting the opposing fans. It’s isolated with me (not that that makes it acceptable), the vast majority of matches I’m quite calm. I’ve been spoken to by Stewards, I’ve had other parents ask me to calm down, in both situations I’ve  responded positively to the challenge as I know I need to do better. 

I take my kids to the football sometimes, do I want them listening to bad language no, but rightly or wrongly it’s been part of football for a long time and part of life generally. In some instances bad language used in the right context is humorous. If I witnessed it in front of my kids I would just tell them to ignore it, I probably wouldn’t call it out because it would most definitely be a case of pot and kettle. 

[Tamworthram]

41 minutes ago, Donnyram said:

Outside the South Stand I think the vast majority of people are generally considerate to the areas that they are sat.  However, there are individuals who have zero consideration and respect - they feel it is their right to swear as much is they like because “it’s the Derby game, init”.

Now I’m no prude and have spent many a day on the Popside and travelling to away games but I’d rather not have someone sat right behind me effing and jeffin abuse at all and sundry. (This is different to a few songs with choice words included).  When this then becomes you effing Cnut yawped into my sensitive luggholes then it becomes a bit much.

We’ve now moved from seats we’ve had for 10 years as a result. 

I wouldn’t take young children to the match until they had understood what is acceptable language “for them to use” in public.  They will hear it at school etc. but not within the boundaries of my home.  They will no doubt use this language with mates but NOT in front of Grandmas and young children in public

But you won’t stop them going to school until they understood what is acceptable.

[Donnyram]

12 minutes ago, Tamworthram said:

But you won’t stop them going to school until they understood what is acceptable.

True, but parents can have a significant influence

[Mucker1884]

I'd not been in my NE corner seat for long.  (I moved from the rowdy SE corner, as it was time to calm down, and time to start taking my grandson along).

I'm pretty certain that technically, my seat was the other side of the stairs (literally, as I have an aisle seat) to the family stand, but don't quote me on it.  I'm also pretty certain it is now classed as being in the family area.  Not 100% sure!  ?‍♂️

...anyway... not been sat there long... I was with my young grandson, maybe 7 or 8.  The guy immediately in front was with a girl, maybe 10/11?

I don't recall the finer details, other than it being a Forest game (I think?), and things were hotting up on the pitch.  I let rip with multi-syllable expletives, at full volume.  The guy in front turned and asked me to tone down my language... in a perfectly polite and acceptable manner to anyone with even a modicum of decency.  I let rip again, this time directly at him.  Nothing personal, and no more expletives, but I do recall telling him to "get some passion", and questioned his allegiance to The Mighty Rams!  
We left it at that.  Not the most pleasant of atmospheres.

Half time came, and my inner decency got the better of me.  All became perfectly clear... And I didn't need anyone else to tell me... I was wrong in the first place, and I was wrong in my reaction to him.  Totally.  Out.  Of.  Order.
Upon my return to the seats, ready for the second half, I tapped him on the shoulder, (to which he turned around to face me), apologised like I have never apologised before (nor since!), took full responsibility for my inexcusable actions/words, and asked for his forgiveness, which he graciously obliged, and we ended with a handshake.

The following few seasons saw us greet each other before each and every game with a fist bump, a bit of chit chat, and plenty of mutual respect.  Even a couple of unexpected meetings out in civvy street were met with a smile, a handshake or thumbs up (distance dependent!), and usually a brief  "Eyup mate, how yer doin'?".

And we've man-hugged each other more than once, but for the record, that was solely in the immediate aftermath of a big Rams goal (Usually v Forest, or play off's etc).  Standard goals just got the standard fist-bump or high five!  We never became lovers nor nuffink!  

Anyway, this niceness lasted right up until the start of last season (or was it the one before?) when he didn't turn up, and I then found out he was doing a job he would not only love, but was perfectly made for... A DCFC Matchday Steward... somewhere in the East Stand, last time I spotted him from my seat.

If you're reading mate... "How yer doin"?  ??

Edited February 20, 2023 by Mucker1884

[Tamworthram]

1 hour ago, Donnyram said:

True, but parents can have a significant influence

True, but if the kids are likely to hear the words at school can't parents have the same significant influence over what the kids might hear at football matches?

[B4ev6is]

13 hours ago, cannable said:

Is it actually well advertised that it is actually the family corner? It’s where I had my first season ticket and then in 13/14 it randomly became the family section.
 

Always reminds me of when we were beaten 3-1 by Reading at home and some bloke was effing and blinding it.

Another bloke who’d taken a few kids just kept giving him daggers before eventually snapping “can you be quiet please?!”

”Come on, you can’t tell me you think they’re playing well”

There’s a tedious back and forth, the guy swearing not understanding why the other guy’s challenged him, the other guy not explicitly stating he’s annoyed because he’s brought kids. Only after about five minutes does the dad go “you don’t do it when there are kids about!”

“Oh, yeah, you’re right, fair enough.”

 

Whole thing would’ve been nipped in the bud if the dad just went “alright mate, can you just tone it down, there are kids about.”

 

You don’t have to call them out, just make them aware it’s a family section.

I am afraid when people are like that they will do it all the more because he knows it annoyed that person.

[Dethorn]

On 19/02/2023 at 12:50, bimmerman said:

I've taught mine that what they hear at the football they don't repeat. We have a little giggle about it and it's forgotten about. Agree, not in the family area but it happens 

Exactly what my Dad said when I was four - I was even aloud to join in at the Football as long as Mum never found out - I felt quite grown up I remember

[BriggRam]

On 19/02/2023 at 10:08, Andrew1 said:

There are translations…

“if you don’t JUMP and bounce”

“Your supporters come in ships”

etc, etc…

I changed the f word to flippin ??

[Skin em Ted]

It is a tricky one, my opinion would be;

Family Stand- Unacceptable

South Stand- Standard

Everywhere else- don't be a prude

Where it gets complicated is in the North Stand which for the bigger games draws in a real hotch-potch of our fanbase. I was sat in front of a lovely family there earlier this season who spent the whole match dropping unnecessary C and F bombs. Not too bothered myself as with teenagers but one chap with younger kids was extremely upset and it felt like it was gonna kick off at one point.

I wouldn't want an outright ban in places other than the family end as that would allow Stasi/jobsworth types the power to suck all passion from the experience. At the same time we should all be respectful of each other and gauge the mood of where you're sat... sit elsewhere next time if its not for you. No-one enjoys being stuck behind an insufferable potty-mouthed bore, yet we should also be free to question the Ref's parentage when necessary.

Ultimately what is acceptable comes down to common sense (including the expectation that you will hear some choice language)- unfortunately, common sense and an accompanying social awareness is something too many don't possess.  ?‍♂️

[MadAmster]

On 19/02/2023 at 10:08, Ram a lamb a ding dong said:

Agree. Not the last bit though. I'm a local Cllr so have a reputation to uphold

Now I know you're not being serious. A local Cllr wouldn't approach the individual ?

When mine (Dutch born and bred) were young, they were told "what happens at football, stays at football. If there's a word you don't know/understand, it's best not to repeat it". They did enquire as to certain hand gestures though...

These days, the Dutch are experts at Anglo Saxon deletive expletives. I hear more phuks a day here than I do when I'm back in the UK and that includes the pub and the ground. It's use is commonplace to the point where it's not even considered "wrong". TV talk shows are full of the word. Kids on the street. Women use it. It's the most commonly used word in the Dutch language. Has been for a while. Even when I was teaching, kids heard it in films and in songs and on TV..... so they used it in class as well. I explained to them that it's a swear word and if they use it in a Dutch sentence to replace a Dutch swear word then they are still swearing. It didn't help until one day I decided to get inventive and do a literal translation should the opportunity arise where one might say "WTF". It arose so I bellowed out "wat de neuk". The silence was deafening. Eventually one kid asked what I meant. I explained I had simply translated the words and asked if they now  understood how silly the words, used in that context, are. They did.... unfortunately it didn't reduce the use of WTF and variations very much..... until parents evening where I asked the parents what they would think if I swore frequently in Dutch in the lessons. Oh no, you can't swear in front of the kids.... OK, so is it OK of they swear in English during lessons.... the parents got it and the use of AS deletive expletives was greatly reduced.

Where do kids hear swearing first? If it's not in the home it's from friends at school. Effing and Jeffing at football is, IMO, not a kid's first introduction to swearing, not by a long chalk.