Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[McRainy]

Reading tho...

[Mostyn6]

5 hours ago, BobbyTheReadingFan said:

Thanks RamNut, I came here just to find out your tactics before our first game and then let Paul Clement know what to expect.  ?  I've decided to stick around for a bit!  

I've had periods in my life when I have been low, usually after say 2-3 weeks it turns around for no real identifiable reason.  Although after four months and still no end in sight I thought I better address the situation.  I had counselling once before, about 7-8 years ago after a long term relationship ended.  That really helped.  

I think talking will help, to verbalise my thoughts and just to get some clarity. 

Thanks for your post and comments 

 

 

Bobby, I tend to believe that taking that first step or two,  and being able to recognise you need help, and then say to someone that you need help, are the massive steps to overcome and start coming to terms with who you are.

Some people will make a total turnaround, others will develop a coping mechanism. Awareness however is massive. Realising "you are not alone", and "it's okay not to be okay", for the clicheness that they are, they are true.

I hope you get the benefits of the counselling you're due. But if you ever feel down, it's important to remember that you're allowed to feel down, and then sometimes you can find a quick way to level off your mood naturally. 

One thing this thread impressed on me is exercise is massive, not necessarily weights or that, but doing something to release the endorphins.

If you do slip back, which happens to many people around winter time, please come back and post on here. Hopefully we can help you cope.

All the best pal.

[Sith Happens]

Finding the issue is absolutely key, from my experience.

For me getting made redundant from the main cause of mine and getting a job i love has been massive.

Sadly i know its not that easy for everyone, and i know im not cured byt i dont know what i am just i am in a better place. 

Fairly sure a lot of my problems are as a result of being bullied because of my weight at school and being bullied by a manager in my first job.

And then again in my most recent job before i got made redundant.

I hate how i lose confidence in these situations.

I dont think i will ever be cured, just got to try and be amongst the right people.

[Day]

2 hours ago, Paul71 said:

I dont think i will ever be cured, just got to try and be amongst the right people.

I think this is spot on, I'm not a doctor though but I see "some" mental health issues more as personality traits.

Take anxiety for example, anxiety is essentially nerves, not a single person that never gets nervous about something, anxious, birth of a child, getting married. Some people are just more nervous than others and those that hit the extreme levels where it effects your day to day life are awarded with the anxiety diagnosis.

If it does effect your day to day life of course it's an issue, it just irritates me slightly how large this mental health issue umbrella is.

Medication can suppress the nerves, some people really need that helping hand, but I don't, and remember I'm not a doctor, think they will ever cure you without a lot of other work within yourself. Training yourself not to be nervous is no easy task.

Depression is the extreme levels of sadness, work, family, lifestyle, loads of things that can just snowball on top of you and drag you into depression. The problem with depression is it's not always easy to identify the route cause and even if you can theres not always a simple solution.

Some people are able to brush off anything and solider on with life, robot like, it's just the way we're designed.

In a way I'm grateful for my experience with little personal trait, anxiety, if I meet someone new I will almost assess them, get a feel for who they are before revealing myself. Take the Moor Farm meets with members, they will all probably describe me as shy, quiet, I was simply assessing who they are really as that's my default behaviour, even though I kinda had a feel for them online, face to face is a bit different. My humour can be quite cutting at times, on the wrong person that could be quite damaging.

Someone that floats through life with ease may never understand others and could miss out on valuable friendships and relationships with good people.

Waffling now, but the aim of the game whilst we are here is happiness, just be happy, forget about chasing a magic cure to "fix you" we're all unique.....thankfully, have our little quirks. If those quirks do impact your life in a negative way as I've always said in this thread, talk to people, anyone that will offer an ear, it's good to talk, and getting things off your chest, realising it's not just you can be a huge help, and in some cases help figure out the root causes which might be possible to make changes which in turn will improve your life into being more manageable.

Tell you what @Moist One, this is a ducking blinding thread you created. On a forum that's full of puns and piss taking, to have this little unjudegmental sanctuary on the internet is one of this forums greatest achievements. 

[PistoldPete2]

11 hours ago, David said:

I think this is spot on, I'm not a doctor though but I see "some" mental health issues more as personality traits.

Take anxiety for example, anxiety is essentially nerves, not a single person that never gets nervous about something, anxious, birth of a child, getting married. Some people are just more nervous than others and those that hit the extreme levels where it effects your day to day life are awarded with the anxiety diagnosis.

If it does effect your day to day life of course it's an issue, it just irritates me slightly how large this mental health issue umbrella is.

Medication can suppress the nerves, some people really need that helping hand, but I don't, and remember I'm not a doctor, think they will ever cure you without a lot of other work within yourself. Training yourself not to be nervous is no easy task.

Depression is the extreme levels of sadness, work, family, lifestyle, loads of things that can just snowball on top of you and drag you into depression. The problem with depression is it's not always easy to identify the route cause and even if you can theres not always a simple solution.

Some people are able to brush off anything and solider on with life, robot like, it's just the way we're designed.

In a way I'm grateful for my experience with little personal trait, anxiety, if I meet someone new I will almost assess them, get a feel for who they are before revealing myself. Take the Moor Farm meets with members, they will all probably describe me as shy, quiet, I was simply assessing who they are really as that's my default behaviour, even though I kinda had a feel for them online, face to face is a bit different. My humour can be quite cutting at times, on the wrong person that could be quite damaging.

Someone that floats through life with ease may never understand others and could miss out on valuable friendships and relationships with good people.

Waffling now, but the aim of the game whilst we are here is happiness, just be happy, forget about chasing a magic cure to "fix you" we're all unique.....thankfully, have our little quirks. If those quirks do impact your life in a negative way as I've always said in this thread, talk to people, anyone that will offer an ear, it's good to talk, and getting things off your chest, realising it's not just you can be a huge help, and in some cases help figure out the root causes which might be possible to make changes which in turn will improve your life into being more manageable.

Tell you what @Moist One, this is a ducking blinding thread you created. On a forum that's full of puns and piss taking, to have this little unjudegmental sanctuary on the internet is one of this forums greatest achievements. 

David, I think depression is not just a reaction to your lifestyle, or am extreme sadness. It's just an imbalance and can come in waves for no real reason . It is many things actually and takes many forms. But like you say it's often something we are born with and not something we should rush to take pills for. 

[McRainy]

Anxiety is not 'nerves' and depression is not sadness. Unfortunately, it is this misunderstanding which can lead to the pressure to 'pull yourself together'.

Life is not about 'being happy' either, imo. Many people are either born into circumstances, or with conditions, which make this rather glib expectation impossible. I suspect that many, particularly in our consumerist culture, feel that they are failing if they don't achieve the 'happiness' that modern life is supposed to provide.

I think Moist One nailed it when he said that the key is awareness. The delphic injunction is to 'know thyself', and in psychological or existential terms, this is the journey we are on. From this viewpoint it doesn't matter so much what our outer circumstances or our inner traits are, we can find meaning and purpose in our lives through understanding ourselves. This is how it works for me, anyway. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-consciousness-question/201409/the-delphic-oracle-and-individuation

[Boycie]

Hey, little tip,  I was going through what seemed low period recently just when the good weather started,

Which was weird, as I thought I benefited from good sunshine as I suffer a bit in winter.

Anyrode, I then started with weird headaches, eye pain and generally feeling meh.

Turns out I was dehydrated!

I looked back and thought about how much actual water only I’d been taking on and it was hardly anything.

Is well known that your guts have a lot to do with your mood.

(ask my family after Ive farted!)

no, seriously, look into it, same goes for wheat and dairy for me too. Felt loads better after reducing and finally cutting it all out.

@David drinks smart water, which I always think is ironic.

Edited July 29, 2018 by Boycie

[i-Ram]

7 minutes ago, Boycie said:

Hey, little tip,  I was going through what seemed low period recently just when the good weather started,

Which was weird, as I thought I benefited from good sunshine as I suffer a bit in winter.

Anyrode, I then started with weird headaches, eye pain and generally feeling meh.

Turns out I was dehydrated!

I looked back and thought about how much actual water only I’d been taking on and it was hardly anything.

Is well known that your guts have a lot to do with your mood.

(ask my family after Ive farted!)

no, seriously, look into it, same goes for wheat and dairy for me too. Felt loads better after reducing and finally cutting it all out.

@David drinks smart water, which I always think is ironic.

Silly you, it’s isotonic.

[Day]

40 minutes ago, Lambchop said:

Anxiety is not 'nerves'

Anxiety 
noun, plural anx·i·e·ties.

distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune:

When you strip it down, that is exactly what Anxiety is.

Anxious of certain situations, be it social events, supermarkets, travelling, your mind attaches danger to these, which in turn makes you nervous of these situations. Extremely nervous, not the mild nerves you may have when texting someone asking them out. 

Needing the toilet, is common with nerves, before job interviews, before flying. It's also common with anxiety for the same reasons. 

Best way to understand something is to strip it back, remove all the stigma and drill down into what these conditions are.

I might not have the certificates, the qualifications, but I have read a ton of books on Anxiety over the years and combined with my own life experience and living with anxiety which no course whilst sat behind a desk will ever give a true understanding of how the person feels. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety around 6 years ago having spent the previous 5 years to that mostly in the house in complete fear of the outside world, completely crippled by it. 

I feel more than comfortable knowing I'm not misunderstood, or speaking in ignorance. Lived it, breathed it, have the t shirt, cap and failed relationship through it.   

And at no point did I say "Pull yourself together", just tablets and pills will only suppress those feelings, they won't cure you, any cure has to come from within and learning to handle situations through various techniques which takes a long time to find which work for you as there is no one solution fits all. 

Anxiety is not an infection which antibiotics can cure. 

Pharmaceutical companies might tell you different, but I'm not the one profiting from dispensing pills.

[i-Ram]

I realise l may have just perhaps opened this thread to the possibility of water related punning.

In a desperate rush to keep it on track, l update that l have had a bad period recently with anxiety. Not unusual for me to suffer from anxiety and work related stress in truth - something l have had to cope with from time to time for c20 years.  This time round though l couldn’t tell you what the trigger has been.  Anyway, I was telling my hairdresser a few of my symptoms the other day - as you do when you have no holiday ahead you can talk about - and he suggested l look at chronic hyperventilation syndrome. He wondered if my breathing might be a part of the problem.  Early days, but have since been working on a few breathing techniques and it seems to be helping.

Boycie and l have hopefully helped a few here now - the intake of water and air is sooooo underrated.

Sincere best wishes to all.

[McRainy]

23 minutes ago, David said:

tablets and pills will only suppress those feelings, they won't cure you, any cure has to come from within and learning to handle situations through various techniques which takes a long time to find which work for you as there is no one solution fits all. 

No disagreement there. 

I have also experienced being housebound by anxiety, which is why I'm wary of hearing it described as a more severe form of ordinary nervousness. It's of a completely different order from that, and is often resultant from other conditions, in my case autistic burnout and complex PTSD. 

I don't think we are disagreeing about the effects, I just wouldn't want anyone reading this, who may not have experienced it, to think it's something you could tackle in the same way as plucking up courage to do something. That almost implies a lack of moral will, which certainly isn't the case. 

[Day]

9 minutes ago, Lambchop said:

No disagreement there. 

I have also experienced being housebound by anxiety, which is why I'm wary of hearing it described as a more severe form of ordinary nervousness. It's of a completely different order from that, and is often resultant from other conditions, in my case autistic burnout and complex PTSD. 

I don't think we are disagreeing about the effects, I just wouldn't want anyone reading this, who may not have experienced it, to think it's something you could tackle in the same way as plucking up courage to do something. That almost implies a lack of moral will, which certainly isn't the case. 

Don't think we are, it's just that I prefer the dumbed down approach which at times may seem like I'm making light of it, which is never the intention, the intention is to not freak people out with fancy medical terms and simplify it to where the spark plug needs changing in the car for example.

Still needs sorting, not to be ignored. Mechanics are there on hand, but you can also do this by yourself.

On a forum that is dominated by men, men who are supposed to be the strong ones, the leaders of the pack, it's difficult to accept at times that we may have a few issues that are seen as weaknesses which is why this thread is pretty awesome. 

[McRainy]

11 minutes ago, David said:

this thread is pretty awesome

Certainly, people talking openly and honestly about their feelings and experiences, in an environment which listens, accepts and tries to understand, is one of the most powerful and helpful things you can do. Peer support is often the best therapy. 

[BobbyTheReadingFan]

On 28/07/2018 at 09:50, Lambchop said:

Reading tho...

[BobbyTheReadingFan]

2 hours ago, Lambchop said:

Anxiety is not 'nerves' and depression is not sadness. Unfortunately, it is this misunderstanding which can lead to the pressure to 'pull yourself together'.

 

I agree with this.  I've read @David's view and I think it's overly simplistic as it's not quite as straight forward as you make it seem.  

I've been a Police Officer for 12 years and throughout my adult life I've always been a more anxious person.  I've struggled to sleep at times.  

People think anxiety = nerves and worry.  It doesn't just mean that.  It also means being unable to relax, having a brain that won't shut off, over thinking things and of course it does include nerves and worry that you mention.  Particularly with things like social situations, family events, meetings, big occasions, etc...

The best way I can put it is, Anxiety doesn't have a reason to be there.  E.g. you may be chilled out, you may be off work, no issues, but you're still tightly wound, you still can't quite relax.  

I'm not always anxious, but there is a reason that Depression and Anxiety goes together.  They feed off one another really well (unfortunately).

...

In regards to Depression, it's a really weird beast.  For me it is a feeling of low energy, a zombie state, like I'm floating along without experiencing anything.  It feels like I have a massive weight on my shoulders.  I get more paranoid too about things that happen, like a comment a colleague makes, and I also want to just be alone.  

I'm not even sad, really.  I'm just nothing really... just in an emotionless state.

Depression is a massive spectrum.  It's not just someone being really sad, crying and all that.  I'm not like that at all.  

 

[McRainy]

1 hour ago, BobbyTheReadingFan said:

Anxiety doesn't have a reason to be there.  E.g. you may be chilled out, you may be off work, no issues, but you're still tightly wound, you still can't quite relax.  

I think it probably does have a reason to be there, but not, as you say, necessarily related to the immediate circumstances.

The understanding which makes most sense to me is the overstimulation of the fight/ flight response, which creates neural pathways which remain overactive at inappropriate times. This can be caused by a number of things, from early trauma to a gradual build up of stress over time. 

Edited July 29, 2018 by Lambchop
Typo

[PistoldPete2]

9 hours ago, Boycie said:

Hey, little tip,  I was going through what seemed low period recently just when the good weather started,

Which was weird, as I thought I benefited from good sunshine as I suffer a bit in winter.

Anyrode, I then started with weird headaches, eye pain and generally feeling meh.

Turns out I was dehydrated!

I looked back and thought about how much actual water only I’d been taking on and it was hardly anything.

Is well known that your guts have a lot to do with your mood.

(ask my family after Ive farted!)

no, seriously, look into it, same goes for wheat and dairy for me too. Felt loads better after reducing and finally cutting it all out.

@David drinks smart water, which I always think is ironic.

This is very true. People talk about eatimg something that disagreed with me...And it's true Eating the wrong food can affect your mood,  And make you grumpy, that's why we talk about belly aching when we are having a mard. 

[Coneheadjohn]

On 28/07/2018 at 14:54, Moist One said:

Bobby, I tend to believe that taking that first step or two,  and being able to recognise you need help, and then say to someone that you need help, are the massive steps to overcome and start coming to terms with who you are.

Some people will make a total turnaround, others will develop a coping mechanism. Awareness however is massive. Realising "you are not alone", and "it's okay not to be okay", for the clicheness that they are, they are true.

I hope you get the benefits of the counselling you're due. But if you ever feel down, it's important to remember that you're allowed to feel down, and then sometimes you can find a quick way to level off your mood naturally. 

One thing this thread impressed on me is exercise is massive, not necessarily weights or that, but doing something to release the endorphins.

If you do slip back, which happens to many people around winter time, please come back and post on here. Hopefully we can help you cope.

All the best pal.

Exactly.

I need help,I need some help.

These are the hardest things to say.

Asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness but that is a difficult thing to grasp.

Great place this thread full of good people.

[dcfcfan1]

It takes a real man to hold their hands up and say "Im not feeling good and I cant do this alone"

 

Luckily it hasnt happened to me yet, but I know at some point in my life, I will need help (career wise, mood wise ect). Life has too many ups and downs to go through it alone ,  without support and help , its almost impossible to survive mentally when everything is going against you

[SSD]

This week I’ve realised I’m absolutely useless at introducing people to one another. I think it’s down a little bit to my social anxiety. My inability to produce decent small talk can affect me at work sometimes so people look at me funny. Thankfully at work I can crack on and get my head down with work I need to do as my boss doesn’t bother me.

I’d like to be a manager one day, I need to learn how to master the bs work conversations first so little baby steps ?