Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[jono]

3 hours ago, ketteringram said:

Me too . Any ideas ? 

always for me it something natural .. A beautiful view or an animal, a sunset or sunrise. There are other things of course. 

Remembering the things that inspired a sense of wonder long ago. That sense is still there in all of us but we don't tap into it because life becomes so routine and survival based rather than experience based as it was when you were younger .. Bit random as an answer but going to bed now. ... Night all sweet dreams 

[Mostyn6]

It's been a year since I posted the original post in this thread.

Cannot truly remember my mind at that time, but I was certainly looking for answers to understand my feelings. 

This thread has done me wonders and I can only thank every person who's posted in the thread and private messaged me. 

A year on, I'm certainly in a better place mentally.

I am however, very emotional at the moment. I've recently became an uncle. A good friend is lying in a hospital bed dying. My gran had a brain tumour removed and is recovering and I've managed to build a bridge with my mother having not really spoken to her in 4 years. 

Today, I was reading twitter whilst having a poo at work and spotted the story in the Bournemouth paper about the letter attached to the balloon by a little boy who lost his dad and then went into foster care cos his mum was poorly. I'm not exaggerating, it took me about 25 minutes to get myself back together before I could go back into the office. It totally slayed me emotionally reading it.

[Rev]

1 hour ago, Mostyn6 said:

It's been a year since I posted the original post in this thread.

Cannot truly remember my mind at that time, but I was certainly looking for answers to understand my feelings. 

This thread has done me wonders and I can only thank every person who's posted in the thread and private messaged me. 

A year on, I'm certainly in a better place mentally.

I am however, very emotional at the moment. I've recently became an uncle. A good friend is lying in a hospital bed dying. My gran had a brain tumour removed and is recovering and I've managed to build a bridge with my mother having not really spoken to her in 4 years. 

Today, I was reading twitter whilst having a poo at work and spotted the story in the Bournemouth paper about the letter attached to the balloon by a little boy who lost his dad and then went into foster care cos his mum was poorly. I'm not exaggerating, it took me about 25 minutes to get myself back together before I could go back into the office. It totally slayed me emotionally reading it.

Glad you are feeling healthier mentally, it's a great thread you started and very helpful, thought provoking and obviously necessary.

I'd imagine after you'd spent half an hour on the bog, the rest of the office gave it an hour, at least, before venturing in?

[Mostyn6]

31 minutes ago, reveldevil said:

Glad you are feeling healthier mentally, it's a great thread you started and very helpful, thought provoking and obviously necessary.

I'd imagine after you'd spent half an hour on the bog, the rest of the office gave it an hour, at least, before venturing in?

dig out the story, it's heartbreaking. Just seeing the letter is cutting.

 

[Ewetube]

20 hours ago, Mostyn6 said:

It's been a year since I posted the original post in this thread.

Cannot truly remember my mind at that time, but I was certainly looking for answers to understand my feelings. 

This thread has done me wonders and I can only thank every person who's posted in the thread and private messaged me. 

A year on, I'm certainly in a better place mentally.

I am however, very emotional at the moment. I've recently became an uncle. A good friend is lying in a hospital bed dying. My gran had a brain tumour removed and is recovering and I've managed to build a bridge with my mother having not really spoken to her in 4 years. 

Today, I was reading twitter whilst having a poo at work and spotted the story in the Bournemouth paper about the letter attached to the balloon by a little boy who lost his dad and then went into foster care cos his mum was poorly. I'm not exaggerating, it took me about 25 minutes to get myself back together before I could go back into the office. It totally slayed me emotionally reading it.

Glad to hear things are on the up!

I participated in this thread early doors, telling my experiences of a family member who was going through, and on occasion putting us through, hell. We had an awful Christmas last year. 

What a difference a year makes! The family member has a girlfriend he lives with, quit the job he hated and was headhunted by a recruitment agency who had seen his CV online for a job he started 3 weeks ago which he absolutely loves. His confidence has sky-rocketted recently and his social anxiety and depression diminished.

[Coneheadjohn]

On 15/12/2015 at 07:54, Mostyn6 said:

How do you know when you have hit rock bottom?

Really good thread,I wasn't going to post.

I realised one day when I went for a run,not a good runner but I'd running 20 miles a week to get fitter.Ran 100 yards to the park and couldn't run anymore,had all on to get myself home.

Struggled to do much for a few weeks really,short of breath,nearly collapsing,very strange.

Usual checks,health is good.All down to stress and not dealing with it.

 

 

[Mostyn6]

Hope everyone is good mentally on this Christmas day.

I was having my most positive Christmas period in many years, but a very good friend died yesterday morning and it's obviously hit me quite hard. It wasn't unexpected. He'd been in hospital for a while and we'd been told that he wouldn't come out, but it still hurts that he isn't around.

I know a few posters have lost close family and friends around Christmas time, and I wonder whether one of the feelings they experienced was a feeling that it's wrong to enjoy yourself cos someone has died.

I know deep down that my mate, who was the life and soul of the party when in good health would totally hammer me if he thought I was dwelling and not trying to enjoy myself.

It wouldn't surprise me if some posters here knew the man I'm talking about, he's known in Derby as Goff. RIP Goff.

Have a good Christmas everyone else. Remember, if you need someone to talk to, find someone. x

[Coneheadjohn]

39 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

Have a good Christmas everyone else. Remember, if you need someone to talk to, find someone. x

Very good advice and enjoy your christmas,it's the only way.

Your not on your own.

Really sad you lost your friend.

[kash_a_ram_a_ding_dong]

Anxiety is what does for me and looking back,it has done since I was a little boy.

I used to worry about the most irrational unlikely things for weeks on end.

I'm in a high pressure job now where I'm expected to be the decisive one who makes decisions, takes responsibility and be strong but there are days where I just want to crawl into a dark space and hide away from it all and feel totally drained of any go or enthusiasm.

Worse thing is anxiety turning every situations I've dealt with into enormous problems i.e what if this or that happens etc,etc until I've actually convinced myself something bad could happen....despite there being no reason to think it.my mind seems to then go through every conceivable scenario endlessly until I'm my brain feels totally worn out.

Once I'm in the grip of a worry,it can last weeks or months until it's replaced by another one with no basis.

I can then go for a week or two thinking it's gone away until the irrational worry starts again.

Funnily enough,colleagues and friends seem to think I'm one of the most cheerful upbeat people they know and i suppose I am outwardly.

This is the first time I've ever spoke to anyone,as such,about this and I'm finding it extremely difficult to not just delete it immediately and keep it to myself but seeing other people's responses on here has helped.

 

[Mostyn6]

I've never understood irrational fear as such, that's not to trivialise it.

IN the working environment though, it may be an advantage if you can harness that prospect of failure into a list of things to avoid. 

I've seen obvious mistakes missed and cost millions. Your 'flaw' might be a natural gift.

[kash_a_ram_a_ding_dong]

9 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

I've never understood irrational fear as such, that's not to trivialise it.

IN the working environment though, it may be an advantage if you can harness that prospect of failure into a list of things to avoid. 

I've seen obvious mistakes missed and cost millions. Your 'flaw' might be a natural gift.

I don't understand it either other than its a control thing in my mind by trying to cover eventuality which isn't possible.

I think it may have helped me at work but it fills me with dread too knowing that after I make a decision,I will worry about it until the next one replaces it.

Thing is,its obviously not just at work this surfaces,its socially too.

Utterly ridiculous I know.

[B4ev6is]

No it is not mate

You worry will i make friends or will get bullied because how you are.

[Chester40]

I really 'enjoy' all the posts here and credit to Daveo especially for his, because forums like this and social media in general - are central to the growing poor mental of young people especially.  Everyone is posting pictures of them going out having fun, meeting people ...larging it..pictures of holidays...concerts .how many followers  etc etc. Its all a facade...its like the Wizard of Oz..they aren't living the life you want or they'd be too busy enjoying it to let you know!! All the best for 2017.

[LesterRam]

46 minutes ago, Chester40 said:

I really 'enjoy' all the posts here and credit to Daveo especially for his, because forums like this and social media in general - are central to the growing poor mental of young people especially.  Everyone is posting pictures of them going out having fun, meeting people ...larging it..pictures of holidays...concerts .how many followers  etc etc. Its all a facade...its like the Wizard of Oz..they aren't living the life you want or they'd be too busy enjoying it to let you know!! All the best for 2017.

Daveo has left, according to HMRC he owed £300k, the new guy is David 

[Rambo11]

Hopefully I'm not too much of a burden to the people following this thread, but as a fairly regular reader, barely ever poster I thought I would finally contribute

Coming out of 2016, I can safely say it was the worst year of my life so far. Yes, time is arbitary, and the 365 days of 2017 aren't guaranteed to be any better, but it does provide a spell of time to quantify my feelings. 

I've suffered family loss, the break up of a relationship with the person I loved more than anyone else, the months of getting over her only for her to get in touch and subsequently mess me around whilst seeing someone else that she's now in a relationship with. 

All of this combined with being stuck in a job I hate and am probably overqualified for lead me to the pint of self destruct. 

During all this time I had to persuade myself (and take the advice of the people that care about me) to go to the doctors and speak to someone, and admit that the depressive feelings I had had been there for 6/7 years. What I thought was just part of my personality, who I was, was actually an underlying issue that needed addressing for years. 

The prescribed medication seemed to help me quite a lot. Whether that was purely a placebo effect or not is anyone's guess, but I wholeheartedly advise anyone feeling low to find someone to console in.

I guess, other than being able to get some stuff off my chest, that is the overriding point of this post. Don't ever allow yourself to feel like you're alone. There are so many resources available to help you and so many people that will understand

 

 

 

[HuddersRam]

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.

I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 

Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 

I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 

 

[BondJovi]

I always believe to compare your problems to others does you a disservice straight off. Each person has their own coping levels, their own fragility and their method of getting by. What seems trivial to one can mean the world to another. Respect always to the feelings you have but know how to handle them.

I think this thread is a blessing. It is honest and supportive and a friendly ear from people who won't judge. I guess I am currently an example of someone who reluctantly got help but is now realising his dreams, a happiness that 4 years back seemed impossible to even contemplate. Sometimes I stop and think how the hell did I get here and when I do, I thank every soul that ever gave me the time to hear my problems. Now I have a fecking wedding to plan!

[BondJovi]

10 hours ago, kash_a_ram_a_ding_dong said:

I don't understand it either other than its a control thing in my mind by trying to cover eventuality which isn't possible.

I think it may have helped me at work but it fills me with dread too knowing that after I make a decision,I will worry about it until the next one replaces it.

Thing is,its obviously not just at work this surfaces,its socially too.

Utterly ridiculous I know.

When i worked in an office, i must have read through each email i was going to send a dozen or so times. I feared every outcome, what if I said the wrong thing, what if...always the what if. And if I had to make a phone call...nightmare! Just because I dreaded getting it wrong. Totally irrational.

[dcfcfan1]

On 1/4/2017 at 21:59, HuddersRam said:

I've been through no end of forums dedicated to mental health and the likes but nothing comes close to this, it really sets this forum apart from any other I know. So therefore, having read everyone else's stories over the last few months and after finally acknowledging I have an issue, I will now pour everything out.

I've known for years that something has been wrong with me, but the last few days have just certified it. I'm 22, recently graduated and have now moved back home as I have a graduate job close to my family home. The issue with this is I'm not exactly mad about the job, the people are not the most welcoming and all of my previous school friends and the likes now live away. I go to work and I go home, that is as exciting as it gets. 

Last year saw a range of little blips come up which I didn't think affected me too much, with my uncle's dementia and constant hospital stays probably the most notable. What's really done it for me though is the relationship with my girlfriend, who is still at university. I've been with her for three years and it's been great (she's even seen Derby play twice the lucky thing) but a mixture of the distance and the loneliness has changed things to the point where she's told me that she's not sure if we're still working like we did. I've found myself becoming needy, completely ignoring the fact that she's got her own life with new friends and a part-time job. We planned to build a life together after uni and I'm hoping that can still be done because even though we're only young, it's been an incredible time that I don't think needs to be given up. I'm trying to tell myself that it's the fact we've gone from living together to living 80 miles apart, with only a few months until we can go back to how we were. Unfortunately, my head doesn't really want to listen to what I say for too long. 

I don't know if depression or anxiety or just general loneliness is my problem, but I do know that I'm not meant to be feeling like this, especially at such a young age. I've got a doctors appointment booked for next week which I'm strangely looking forward to, purely to try and change things around. I know in comparison to others my problems might be nothing and I apologise if I seem dramatic or anything but it just seems after months and months of trying to contain everything, it's all just come to a head now. I've been able to speak to my parents and girlfriend over the last few days which has at least helped. This has been a very soppy post and as such I apologise to anyone who has managed to read it all the way through! 

 

 

At least you have a girlfriend, your the same age as me and Ive never had a bloody date!

Seriously though, I cant relate at all, but as a trainee pharmacist I see a lot of people with issues of that sort. It is better for you to hit the nail early on, start talking (dont listen to your ego), and get it of your chest. Dont sit and wait and lie to yourself, saying "oh its only temporary , it isnt a big issue, I need to man up ect ect".

Well done.

A persons ego can hold you back from being honest to yourself and seeking help at times

I would say though I would not start Anti depressants soon or whatever medication the doctors want to give you. I think talking, being pro-active, finding activities which gives your life meaning and something to LOOK FORWARD TO (Biggest KILLER OF FEELING LOW) is key. I as a future pharmacist (only my opinion) think depression is being tackled wrongly and incorectly by our health care proffesionals- too much drugs and too little talking.

 

Best of luck mate

[Coneheadjohn]

On 04/01/2017 at 21:20, Rambo11 said:

Hopefully I'm not too much of a burden to the people following this thread, but as a fairly regular reader, barely ever poster I thought I would finally contribute

Coming out of 2016, I can safely say it was the worst year of my life so far. Yes, time is arbitary, and the 365 days of 2017 aren't guaranteed to be any better, but it does provide a spell of time to quantify my feelings. 

I've suffered family loss, the break up of a relationship with the person I loved more than anyone else, the months of getting over her only for her to get in touch and subsequently mess me around whilst seeing someone else that she's now in a relationship with. 

All of this combined with being stuck in a job I hate and am probably overqualified for lead me to the pint of self destruct. 

During all this time I had to persuade myself (and take the advice of the people that care about me) to go to the doctors and speak to someone, and admit that the depressive feelings I had had been there for 6/7 years. What I thought was just part of my personality, who I was, was actually an underlying issue that needed addressing for years. 

The prescribed medication seemed to help me quite a lot. Whether that was purely a placebo effect or not is anyone's guess, but I wholeheartedly advise anyone feeling low to find someone to console in.

I guess, other than being able to get some stuff off my chest, that is the overriding point of this post. Don't ever allow yourself to feel like you're alone. There are so many resources available to help you and so many people that will understand

 

 

 

Well done for posting mate,theres some good big hearted people on this forum and within DCFC.

If you ever feel the need I would post on here,someone will always listen/read.

All the best bud.