Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[dcfcfan1]

8 hours ago, David said:

 By having a big p......ersonality

tbhh most guys here are at least a 5/10 so it is to be expected

 

Happy you guys are talking about these issues rather than doing something stupid

[Wolfie]

1 hour ago, Tony Le Mesmer said:

Thought about a group Paul but there are two things stopping me. First of all I didn't want to be sat around people who are all just offloading their problems and getting upset even though I don't mean that in a horrible way. Its just that sometimes its difficult enough as it is without entering into a situation whereby I feel I have to support others and contribute something.

Secondly, due to moving down here, my partner being at work all day and me bringing up a young child I've sort of got used to spending most of my time alone as we have no support network locally.

I now find meeting people and socialising anxiety fraught, I've lost the social skills and again, without wanting to be disrespectful to others - if I'm being honest I just can't be arsed anymore.

I guess its all excuses excuses and at some point I will have to come out of my bubble.

Going to Derby games along with 30,000 people has actually really been challenging as I hate crowds and I hate noise.

Be no good in the south stand, me.

I've said previously that I had anxiety issues about 10 years ago.

It was triggered by health issues at the time - For a good few months the anxiety resulted in a weird agropobia where I felt safe at home and at work (most of the time) but terrified anywhere else. Doing the normal weekend stuff was really hard & resulted in panic attacks in the supermarket and barber shop, amongst other places. Going to football was out of the question.

After I'd had panic attacks for a while & after checking every little symptom online that I felt, it was discovered that I had rampant acid reflux which was causing inflammation, pain and spasms in my stomach and oesophagus. This of course resulted in chest pain, what felt like heart palpitations and shortness of breath.

I'm sure you've worked this out by now but for god's sake never google any health symptom. No good can come of it.

The first doctor I saw (a few times) was useless and literally just gave me a leaflet on relaxation techniques, despite me even having a panic attack sat a few feet away from him. Thankfully I then saw a locum doc who was great and after decent discussions, put me on some medication which really helped me a lot. I'm really not an habitual pill taker and weaned myself off as soon as I felt I was able to.

I don't know if you're taking any medication but all I can say is that it gave me that breathing space where the fear of having a panic attack was taken away and I broke out of the vicious cycle and self-fulfilling prophecy of anxiety. At the same time, I had an operation and my acid problem was cured.

Where do you live?. I only ask because I noticed you mention you were close to Baslow and that's where I came from originally. Send me a PM if you like.

[Tony Le Mesmer]

Cheers for that Wolfie, can't have been easy. I'm in a similar place with the agoraphobia / panic thing. I used to be so confident and outgoing and this has stripped me back to a shell. Last 5 years really. Can't go on public transport, my car is like a mobile bolthole.

I've had nausea to the point where I'm dry retching most days. Its always worse in the mornings but comes on when you literally have just opened your eyes. You haven't even had the time to consider getting anxious yet the anxiety symptoms are there as soon as you wake.

The worst was when my kid started school and the pressure every day to take her and pick her up which may seem normal to most people. But then just try and have casual conversations with all these new parents when you are seconds from vomiting, so intense that you have to dig your car keys into your skin just as a distraction to make it go away just for a few minutes. Having to chat and not look weird when your heart is thumping and you feel dizzy.

People might make light of mental illnesses like anxiety etc but if its severe enough then it takes away your quality of life in an instant. Without wanting to disrespect amputees or people who have lost limbs on accidents / illnesses I would have one of my arms chopped off if I could be back to how I used to be and with a guarantee it won't come back.

Part of the problem with various mental illnesses is the fact that you feel you have to hide them or put on an act with people as though its a guilty secret and you're a freak.

Of course its not like that in reality but you always feel you are hiding something and that over time eats away at your self esteem and is mentally and physically tiring.

The away games thing for me is a bigger problem for me than most. I really want to go but i couldn't bear it if I got stuck next to some deadheads being immature. I panic and I'd either leave meaning I miss out or I'd just wade in with my fists and not care. I'm not aggressive just that anxiety makes you more sensitive to idiots than normal and often in a short amount of time a decision has to be made. Do I escape and leave the stadium and reinforce the anxiety long term for short term relief or do I bottle emotions in that these absolute knobjockeys are ruining mine and others enjoyment until I just can't have it anymore and pile in?

Sensibly I should sit through it and teach myself that I can emerge unscathed through extremely uncomfortable situations and thus hopefully reducing my anxiety over time but its easier said than done.

It's actually wondrously amazing just the array of physical symptoms anxiety can do to your body but on the flipside its pretty scary stuff. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. There is no magic bullet.

[Tony Le Mesmer]

One of my theories is that anxiety always hits people who have a deep care for others or what others think of them.

I often see people in life going about their business, spitting on the floor, shouting and swearing at their partners, chucking litter, wearing ridiculous scruffy tracksuits with hoods up being loud. Essentially selfish to the core, arrogant and with no consideration for anybody else.

These types will not get anxiety.

They haven't the mental capacity to consider anyone's thoughts or feelings so they just do what the hell they like and dont care.

There is nobody to be scared of. Nobody to act differently with depending on the circumstances so they'll just be who they always are and not even realise it. They'll go into a job interview and not be aware that you aren't supposed to swear or chew gum.

They have no comprehension of how society expects them to behave so they can not have true anxiety. Ever.

[angieram]

Please don't struggle alone - there is lots of help out there.

Just talking through how you are feeling can help. 

Trent PTS is a talking therapy service and has a base in Chesterfield  - you can refer yourself and it's free (NHS funded) 

http://Trentpts.Co. uk

If you prefer doing something practical with like-minded people talk to someone at dora , also in Chesterfield - a whole host of groups and the guy who co-ordinates them all, Mark, is great. 

http://Www.dora-mental health. org.uk

They have just launched a new men's group aimed at guys who want to feel better about themselves without going into formal services.  More about self-care and building resilience really although perhaps aimed at older men than you (40 - 60). 

For anyone looking at challenging stigma around mental health check out 

http://www.time-to-change.org. uk

Lots of online information and resources. 

Although it is down in Derby, DCFC Active Supporters have free fitness sessions for men aged 18-65, good for improving wellbeing and physical health. 

It's probably full of miserable old buggers moaning about the footy so just like being on here, really! 

Email them at community@dcct.Co. uk for more information.  

If none of that floats your boat I could go on (and on and on and on.......!)

[ketteringram]

@Tony Le Mesmer not sure how old you are, but definitely worth taking one of the first steps that angieram talks about. Just do it. I'm older living proof, that you should just do it. Don't end up like me. 

[Wolfie]

6 hours ago, Tony Le Mesmer said:

Cheers for that Wolfie, can't have been easy. I'm in a similar place with the agoraphobia / panic thing. I used to be so confident and outgoing and this has stripped me back to a shell. Last 5 years really. Can't go on public transport, my car is like a mobile bolthole.

I've had nausea to the point where I'm dry retching most days. Its always worse in the mornings but comes on when you literally have just opened your eyes. You haven't even had the time to consider getting anxious yet the anxiety symptoms are there as soon as you wake.

The worst was when my kid started school and the pressure every day to take her and pick her up which may seem normal to most people. But then just try and have casual conversations with all these new parents when you are seconds from vomiting, so intense that you have to dig your car keys into your skin just as a distraction to make it go away just for a few minutes. Having to chat and not look weird when your heart is thumping and you feel dizzy.

People might make light of mental illnesses like anxiety etc but if its severe enough then it takes away your quality of life in an instant. Without wanting to disrespect amputees or people who have lost limbs on accidents / illnesses I would have one of my arms chopped off if I could be back to how I used to be and with a guarantee it won't come back.

Part of the problem with various mental illnesses is the fact that you feel you have to hide them or put on an act with people as though its a guilty secret and you're a freak.

Of course its not like that in reality but you always feel you are hiding something and that over time eats away at your self esteem and is mentally and physically tiring.

The away games thing for me is a bigger problem for me than most. I really want to go but i couldn't bear it if I got stuck next to some deadheads being immature. I panic and I'd either leave meaning I miss out or I'd just wade in with my fists and not care. I'm not aggressive just that anxiety makes you more sensitive to idiots than normal and often in a short amount of time a decision has to be made. Do I escape and leave the stadium and reinforce the anxiety long term for short term relief or do I bottle emotions in that these absolute knobjockeys are ruining mine and others enjoyment until I just can't have it anymore and pile in?

Sensibly I should sit through it and teach myself that I can emerge unscathed through extremely uncomfortable situations and thus hopefully reducing my anxiety over time but its easier said than done.

It's actually wondrously amazing just the array of physical symptoms anxiety can do to your body but on the flipside its pretty scary stuff. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. There is no magic bullet.

Feel for you mate. I do.

There's lots of good advice on here but the best I can give you is don't try and get through it on your own. Most of us have tried and (for most of us) it doesn't work.

I had hardly any support from people. I kept it from friends and most family, as we weren't the sort of family who shared feelings and thoughts. My (then) wife didn't seem overly bothered by it either though she could see what it was doing to me. My way out was via medication.

Once I was starting to feel better, though, I opened up to my family about it and it has had the most dramatic effect on our relationship. My family now do talk more about stuff and I found out about my mum's past anxiety and the time when my (farmer) dad was close to walking off down the field with his sheepdog & shot gun and not coming back again.

Powerful stuff. Talking.

[Tony Le Mesmer]

10 hours ago, Wolfie said:

I've said previously that I had anxiety issues about 10 years ago.

It was triggered by health issues at the time - For a good few months the anxiety resulted in a weird agropobia where I felt safe at home and at work (most of the time) but terrified anywhere else. Doing the normal weekend stuff was really hard & resulted in panic attacks in the supermarket and barber shop, amongst other places. Going to football was out of the question.

After I'd had panic attacks for a while & after checking every little symptom online that I felt, it was discovered that I had rampant acid reflux which was causing inflammation, pain and spasms in my stomach and oesophagus. This of course resulted in chest pain, what felt like heart palpitations and shortness of breath.

I'm sure you've worked this out by now but for god's sake never google any health symptom. No good can come of it.

The first doctor I saw (a few times) was useless and literally just gave me a leaflet on relaxation techniques, despite me even having a panic attack sat a few feet away from him. Thankfully I then saw a locum doc who was great and after decent discussions, put me on some medication which really helped me a lot. I'm really not an habitual pill taker and weaned myself off as soon as I felt I was able to.

I don't know if you're taking any medication but all I can say is that it gave me that breathing space where the fear of having a panic attack was taken away and I broke out of the vicious cycle and self-fulfilling prophecy of anxiety. At the same time, I had an operation and my acid problem was cured.

Where do you live?. I only ask because I noticed you mention you were close to Baslow and that's where I came from originally. Send me a PM if you like.

I live just near Chesterfield not too far from baslow. Kid goes to school about 4 miles away from there. The Wheatsheaf used to be our regular but had a couple of really poor meals last twice so only go now if friends come down from Rotherham as they've got a big kids area in the back and we can walk off our excesses to Chatsworth and back.

What was the medication they put you on to whack you out then Wolfie? Often I've felt like something that would knock me out for a while and give me and my body time to recover would be good. I'm always on the go. Never relax but need to desperately. I also hate taking tablets and have avoided them. Once you start taking one then its a slippery slope.

[Tony Le Mesmer]

8 hours ago, angieram said:

Please don't struggle alone - there is lots of help out there.

Just talking through how you are feeling can help. 

Trent PTS is a talking therapy service and has a base in Chesterfield  - you can refer yourself and it's free (NHS funded) 

http://Trentpts.Co. uk

If you prefer doing something practical with like-minded people talk to someone at dora , also in Chesterfield - a whole host of groups and the guy who co-ordinates them all, Mark, is great. 

http://Www.dora-mental health. org.uk

They have just launched a new men's group aimed at guys who want to feel better about themselves without going into formal services.  More about self-care and building resilience really although perhaps aimed at older men than you (40 - 60). 

For anyone looking at challenging stigma around mental health check out 

http://www.time-to-change.org. uk

Lots of online information and resources. 

Although it is down in Derby, DCFC Active Supporters have free fitness sessions for men aged 18-65, good for improving wellbeing and physical health. 

It's probably full of miserable old buggers moaning about the footy so just like being on here, really! 

Email them at community@dcct.Co. uk for more information.  

If none of that floats your boat I could go on (and on and on and on.......!)

Great! Thanks for all the advice Angieram. I've been through Trent PTS before and had a couple of bouts of CBT and read all you can read about anxiety / worry / stress / panic disorder etc and its helped a bit in terms of being aware how things develop and thoughtful patterns of thinking. I can be quite negative at times and my posts on here now and again might be unduly abrupt or harsh but its generally not really intented. I'm still learning the art of trying to turn things into positives and it takes time and practice.

I'll have a look at those other things you mentioned angieram. I went down the local park the other morning as they have a drop in walking football session on Thursdays but just walked past a couple of times. Couldn't summon up the courage to tell them I wanted to try it out.

Thanks anyway angieram.

[Tony Le Mesmer]

7 hours ago, ketteringram said:

@Tony Le Mesmer not sure how old you are, but definitely worth taking one of the first steps that angieram talks about. Just do it. I'm older living proof, that you should just do it. Don't end up like me. 

Cheers KR. I'll never be my old self but I guess as you get older things change for everybody. It's about accepting and dealing with change no matter what it is as best you can. I've always been open and able to talk about problems though, that's never been an issue. I've even let a doctor shove his finger up my arse and probably made him more embarrassed than me!

All in the name of good health though you'll understand.

[dcfcfan1]

Just out of interest, is anxiety something you are born with or can develop at any stage of your life?

[Wolfie]

On 05/04/2016 at 17:21, LesterRam said:

Has anybody suffered from trying to sleep and how they overcome this, suffering a new low recently and trying to nod off and stay asleep is becoming very hard, even picked up sleep apnea which is frightening, I wake up and have major panic attacks.

Well i was 32 when I started so it can certainly creep up on you. I'm normally a very optimistic sort of person as well. 

[Wolfie]

8 hours ago, dcfcfan1 said:

Just out of interest, is anxiety something you are born with or can develop at any stage of your life?

Well i was 32 when I started so it can certainly creep up on you. I'm normally a very optimistic sort of person as well. 

[dcfcfan1]

13 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Well i was 32 when I started so it can certainly creep up on you. I'm normally a very optimistic sort of person as well. 

what triggered it ? was it unexpected?

[Wolfie]

17 hours ago, Tony Le Mesmer said:

I live just near Chesterfield not too far from baslow. Kid goes to school about 4 miles away from there. The Wheatsheaf used to be our regular but had a couple of really poor meals last twice so only go now if friends come down from Rotherham as they've got a big kids area in the back and we can walk off our excesses to Chatsworth and back.

What was the medication they put you on to whack you out then Wolfie? Often I've felt like something that would knock me out for a while and give me and my body time to recover would be good. I'm always on the go. Never relax but need to desperately. I also hate taking tablets and have avoided them. Once you start taking one then its a slippery slope.

The medication was Escitalopram (Cipralex) and it pretty much had the panic attacks under control from the first few days. It didn't whack me out at all & I functioned normally. I still used to feel anxious but it was reduced to the extent that it didn't trigger an attack. Once the panic stopped, the baseline anxiety level also reduced, as the vicious cycle was broken. After 6 months or so, I started to reduce the dose & was probably on it for less than a year in all.

I hate taking pills to but don't struggle on your own if you don't need to. I literally got my life back. I still have occasional anxiety episodes but nothing like it was and thankfully haven't had a full panic attack for ages.

Ah yes the Wheatsheaf used to be one of my locals when I lived in Baslow. Haven't been for a while though. Had a good meal in the Devonshire in the summer with a load of family. Enjoyed it right up to the point that Mrs Wolfie stood up at the end and said we were paying for everyone. She still doesn't know why she did that ?Bless her. Lovely area & I do like to go back there when I can, as my folks live that side of Chesterfield. 

Message me if you ever need to mate. 

[dcfcfan1]

Whatever you do, as a trainee pharmacist I say this, dont abrupty stop taking your medication for depression

 

The withrawal effects are horrible

[ketteringram]

I was prescribed cipralex about six years ago. Ended up not taking any of them, and returned them to the pharmacy a few weeks later. I may have taken them, if I hadn't read the leaflet. 

[Bridgford Ram]

I've been wanting to post in here for nearly a week but not quite built up the courage until now.  I have had a slight history with depression initially diagnosed in 2009 as Stress, Depression and Anxiety - although I am not sure what ratios I was suffering with each of them or how long I had actually been ill.  Back then it was related my mum being diagnosed with a terminal illness and being made redundant and the confidence issues related to that.  I had tablets from the doctor and with a couple of small setbacks have been pretty good for most of the time since.

 

Then on Monday there was a change at work, our MD and his number 2 have been made redundant our team are moving to be part of another.  This has created a massive worry for me.  It is filling all my thoughts, I am losing my appetite, struggling to sleep, not enjoying things that I previously love and not wanting to be alone as that is thinking time.  My question is, when does being worried about something become something more serious?

It has brought home how my job - which is probably 75-80% of the family income - underpins everything we as a family have and I just keep replaying thoughts of everything we could lose.

[CWC1983]

2 hours ago, Bridgford Ram said:

I've been wanting to post in here for nearly a week but not quite built up the courage until now.  I have had a slight history with depression initially diagnosed in 2009 as Stress, Depression and Anxiety - although I am not sure what ratios I was suffering with each of them or how long I had actually been ill.  Back then it was related my mum being diagnosed with a terminal illness and being made redundant and the confidence issues related to that.  I had tablets from the doctor and with a couple of small setbacks have been pretty good for most of the time since.

 

Then on Monday there was a change at work, our MD and his number 2 have been made redundant our team are moving to be part of another.  This has created a massive worry for me.  It is filling all my thoughts, I am losing my appetite, struggling to sleep, not enjoying things that I previously love and not wanting to be alone as that is thinking time.  My question is, when does being worried about something become something more serious?

It has brought home how my job - which is probably 75-80% of the family income - underpins everything we as a family have and I just keep replaying thoughts of everything we could lose.

Hi mate, sorry to hear that. I recognise a lot of what you are saying, especially regarding the job and the pressure it puts on us when change happens. It happens a lot in my career and it used to scare the hell out of me, and it still makes me anxious nowadays, but at a lower level. 

We have a health and safety get together in the office every 2 weeks and it usually boring, however this week one of the guys did a 5 minute talk about how change in the workplace affects our mental health. 

He quoted a 5 stage process of how we react to change, sorry I cant remember the name for it, but you will find it online. It sounds like you are in the first stage of "why me". Its a natural reaction that everyone will be going through. The good thing is that you a talking about it. 

I try to treat new work circumstances like a new chapter of a book. I try to look forward and pick out the positives.

Try not to bottle it in, talk to friends and family. Hopefully even typing it out on this forum helps, even if its just a little bit. 

 

 

 

[dcfcfan1]

On 10/29/2016 at 20:18, ketteringram said:

I was prescribed cipralex about six years ago. Ended up not taking any of them, and returned them to the pharmacy a few weeks later. I may have taken them, if I hadn't read the leaflet. 

most of the side effects written on the leaflet are manufacturers trying to cover their own arse