Nonsense you grew up believing

[Alty_Ram]

My Dad was a big fan of Westerns and for my entire childhood I was convinced that a simple safe way of rendering someone unconscious was to smash a bottle over their head ! A simple tap on the head and they always obligingly explode into a million safe non-sharp fragments and the guy in the black hat just lay down for a bit. It was on the way to a football match where I saw someone hit by a bottle and there was blood everywhere and the bottle showed no sign of breaking 🤔

[Normanton Lad]

I used to think that the TV Licence vans really had "tv detectors". It seems that was another BBC lie. They just bully vulnerable people into confessing they watch TV. They have never used "tv detector" evidence in court because it doesn't exist.

[Jimbo Ram]

5 hours ago, BatRam said:

that is indeed true. Makes your mind very acting during sleep thus possibility of nightmares 

I read that it wasn’t………only one way to settle this 🥊🧀

[Wolfie]

On 11/04/2024 at 20:07, Jimbo Ram said:

That eating cheese before bedtime would give you nightmares 🧀

 

5 hours ago, BatRam said:

that is indeed true. Makes your mind very acting during sleep thus possibility of nightmares 

When Mrs Wolfie had been living with me for a few months, we decided to have a couple of friends round and I did a big swiss cheese fondue. We had a lot of cheese late into the evening.

That night, I was woken at about 2am by her fully dressed and in the middle of packing her bags. She was semi-awake and convinced that she had to move out there & then. She couldn't give me any reason, just that she hed to do it. It took me about half an hour to talk her down and convince her to get back into bed.

That was 13 years ago and it remains the only time anything like this happened - and the only time we've ever had a fondue.

[Mucker1884]

2 hours ago, Wolfie said:

 

When Mrs Wolfie had been living with me for a few months, we decided to have a couple of friends round and I did a big swiss cheese fondue. We had a lot of cheese late into the evening.

That night, I was woken at about 2am by her fully dressed and in the middle of packing her bags. She was semi-awake and convinced that she had to move out there & then. She couldn't give me any reason, just that she hed to do it. It took me about half an hour to talk her down and convince her to get back into bed.

That was 13 years ago and it remains the only time anything like this happened - and the only time we've ever had a fondue.

[Jimbo Ram]

4 hours ago, Wolfie said:

 

When Mrs Wolfie had been living with me for a few months, we decided to have a couple of friends round and I did a big swiss cheese fondue. We had a lot of cheese late into the evening.

That night, I was woken at about 2am by her fully dressed and in the middle of packing her bags. She was semi-awake and convinced that she had to move out there & then. She couldn't give me any reason, just that she hed to do it. It took me about half an hour to talk her down and convince her to get back into bed.

That was 13 years ago and it remains the only time anything like this happened - and the only time we've ever had a fondue.

Not the cheese then 😉

[sage]

10 hours ago, Normanton Lad said:

I used to think that the TV Licence vans really had "tv detectors". It seems that was another BBC lie. They just bully vulnerable people into confessing they watch TV. They have never used "tv detector" evidence in court because it doesn't exist.

By vulnerable you mean people not paying for something they are supposed to.

[maxjam]

24 minutes ago, sage said:

By vulnerable you mean people not paying for something they are supposed to.

We haven't had a TV licence for over 2 years now... And get a bloody letter from them most months, threatening us with a maximum £1000 fine if we don't buy one, telling us they have opened investigations against us and asking whether we'll be in on [insert date].  As we've taken early retirement and are in most days, we know for a fact the buggers never come around!

A while back we filled in a form saying we don't require a licence, which stopped the letters for approx 6 months before they started arriving again.  Any other walk of life and it would be harassment.

We know the rules and genuinely don't watch the BBC or live TV.  If they did ever come around, I'm under no legal obligation to let them and and after hearing horror stories from people that have let them in probably won't despite the fact we have nothing to hide.  If we were 30yrs older or more vulnerable we'd feel under real pressure to pay for something we don't use or want.

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2024/feb/29/tv-licence-fee-scandal-1000-people-week-casually-criminalised

 

[Normanton Lad]

48 minutes ago, sage said:

By vulnerable you mean people not paying for something they are supposed to.

There are millions of people in this county with IQs so low that they can’t organise their lives sensibly. They can’t plan ahead and they are unable to foresee the consequences of not doing things like buying a TV licence. These people are looked after to some extent by the social services but they are often left on their own when it comes to TV licences. They don’t go out much and their only entertainment, if you can call it that, is the TV. When the TV licence tax enforcers come calling they are easily caught. They lack the guile and worldliness to send these vultures packing and they will confess to anything.

[sage]

8 minutes ago, Normanton Lad said:

There are millions of people in this county with IQs so low that they can’t organise their lives sensibly. They can’t plan ahead and they are unable to foresee the consequences of not doing things like buying a TV licence. These people are looked after to some extent by the social services but they are often left on their own when it comes to TV licences. They don’t go out much and their only entertainment, if you can call it that, is the TV. When the TV licence tax enforcers come calling they are easily caught. They lack the guile and worldliness to send these vultures packing and they will confess to anything.

It's unfortunate that someone vulnerable gets in trouble but it's for everyone to pay. There has to be some level of enforcement 

[ilkleyram]

7 hours ago, Wolfie said:

 

When Mrs Wolfie had been living with me for a few months, we decided to have a couple of friends round and I did a big swiss cheese fondue. We had a lot of cheese late into the evening.

That night, I was woken at about 2am by her fully dressed and in the middle of packing her bags. She was semi-awake and convinced that she had to move out there & then. She couldn't give me any reason, just that she hed to do it. It took me about half an hour to talk her down and convince her to get back into bed.

That was 13 years ago and it remains the only time anything like this happened - and the only time we've ever had a fondue.

You’ve only persuaded Mrs W once in 13 years to get into bed?  In all honesty that’s a Connor Salmon strike rate

[BatRam]

17 hours ago, Jimbo Ram said:

I read that it wasn’t………only one way to settle this 🥊🧀

it used to effect me quite a lot , i've been vegan for 3 years now so no cheese and iv not had a problem since 

[Eddie]

21 hours ago, Normanton Lad said:

I used to think that the TV Licence vans really had "tv detectors". It seems that was another BBC lie. They just bully vulnerable people into confessing they watch TV. They have never used "tv detector" evidence in court because it doesn't exist.

That was the cat detector van from the ministry of owzinge.

Owzinge?

It was spelt like that on the van. Never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said that their equipment could pin-point a purr at 800 yards, and Eric, being such a happy chap, was a piece of cake.

How much did you pay for this?

Er, 60 quid, and 8 for the fruit bat.

etc.

[Foreveram]

1 hour ago, Eddie said:

That was the cat detector van from the ministry of owzinge.

Owzinge?

It was spelt like that on the van. Never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said that their equipment could pin-point a purr at 800 yards, and Eric, being such a happy chap, was a piece of cake.

How much did you pay for this?

Er, 60 quid, and 8 for the fruit bat.

etc.

Are all your pets named Eric.

[Crewton]

Some genuine TV detector vans did exist, complete with detection equipment which could detect TV signals emanating from a property, but they weren't precision instruments and struggled to precisely locate "offending" TVs where there was a large concentration like in blocks of flats or terraced houses. Detection evidence was used in applying for a search warrant but not in Court because the evidence required to prosecute was gathered in the searches or from confessions. So the "bogey man" only theory is partially true, but also partially untrue.

[ramit]

9 hours ago, Foreveram said:

Are all your pets named Eric.

There's nothing so odd about that, Kemal Ataturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul

[FindernRam]

That if you kissed a girl with braces you got blisters on your tongue. Who knew they meant on her teeth?

[bimmerman]

That my grandad was a Bamford

As an adult, I just learnt that my father's father was a Bamford and never was my grandad

[Carl Sagan]

That if you vacuumed over the cord you'd get electrocuted.

That if you swallowed apple pips an apple tree would grow inside your tummy.

That Derby would continue to always be the best team in the country.

[BaaLocks]

On 16/04/2024 at 15:43, Wolfie said:

 

When Mrs Wolfie had been living with me for a few months, we decided to have a couple of friends round and I did a big swiss cheese fondue. We had a lot of cheese late into the evening.

That night, I was woken at about 2am by her fully dressed and in the middle of packing her bags. She was semi-awake and convinced that she had to move out there & then. She couldn't give me any reason, just that she hed to do it. It took me about half an hour to talk her down and convince her to get back into bed.

That was 13 years ago and it remains the only time anything like this happened - and the only time we've ever had a fondue.

Try two Rohypnol in the drink next time