1977 Ram Raider

8 points from the last 51 available. 
1 win in 18. 
Surely it’s time for him to accept this job is, understandably, too much for him and do the right thing and walk away. Install Mac until the end of the season and try to regain some kind of positive and understandable style of play. 

Derby approve sale of the ground to a new owner but aren't allowed to trade as DCFC any more. Fans groups brought in who have 83 Zoom meetings and agree they are going to stick it to the EFL and everyone else by calling the club 'County Under New Tenants'. Hats, flags and scarves are ordered, ready to be given out on the opening day of the new season as fans are welcomed back to the newly owned Pride Park. Boxes are ripped open with anticipation until......

Corner flag signs new contract.
Billy says he has ‘unfinished business’.
Savage surprise at re-signing.
Derby start season off in National League with 100 points deduction. 
Steve Gibson’s first press conference as Derby chairman.
Who knows. It is death by a thousand cuts. 
 

What are the best excuses you've heard, or even used yourself? 
A colleague of mine is very much a skiver, and has been caught out repeatedly in the past. On one occasion, he was missing for a few weeks, looking after his missus who'd had a heart attack and needed constant care. It was only when she popped into the factory to surprise him one day on her way home from work, looking pretty chipper for someone bed bound, that he returned, shameless, the next week. 
One year, he questioned why his bonus was lower than others who perform the same role, and was told it was because he'd only worked 4 Mondays and a dozen Tuesdays in the preceding year.
Today however, he's elevated himself in my eyes to God like skiver status, here's why.
"Sorry boss, I won't be in today and you'll never believe why".
You're right, I won't, but indulge me anyway.
"It was around 1am I awoke, needing a piss, so climbed out of bed and made my way towards the bathroom. After navigating the bed successfully in the pitch black, not disturbing the wife, I pulled on the bedroom door handle, which promptly came off in my hand ".
Go on.
"Well, this is a pickle I thought, I'll have to ring someone to assist. That's when I realised both my and our Gerts phone were charging downstairs, disaster.
I tried forcing the door, but it wouldn't budge, probably because I have the only bedroom door in the country that has not just a handle, but also a latch lock, operated from the outside. 
Now I'm starting to panic, locked in to the room, no communication with the outside world, a wife who's been startled awake by me messing about with the door, and by now I'm desperate for a wee.
Luckily, I bring a pint of water upto bed every night, as I get thirsty easily, so throw the water out of the bedroom window and relieve myself into the glass, then discard it the same way.
I try hollering for help out of the open window, but due to the time of night my calls fall on deaf, drunken English ears.
The shouting dries my throat out, god I could use a drink, but I no longer have the glass of water. I should've justed peed out the window, I belatedly think".
Sounds terrible, you must have pooed yourself?
"Well, put it this way mate, that's one shoebox that won't see the recycling bin.
After 4 hours of pleading for help, eventually I caught the ear of a fella passing by on his way to work, and persuaded him to dial 999. Eventually the fire brigade turn up, pop a ladder upto the bedroom window, and pass me a toolbox to break open the bedroom door, ending our temporary imprisonment."
Sounds awful mate. I suppose you've never been so embarrassed?
"Why would I be embarrassed, it must happen all the time?
Before the fire brigade left, I even popped outside and had a selfie taken with the crew, who weren't smirking at all. 
It's left me too tired for work today, obviously, but I'll be back tomorrow boss."
 
 
You may think the above is far fetched, but I have photographic proof, and if the demand is strong enough, I'll post it.
Even sweeter, the picture is of him in his Forest kit!
 
 
 

Our defence.

Duck the EFL

Hey … efl .. Gibson 

And for that reason…..
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
GET HIM SIGNED UP ASAP ???

Derby County beat Leeds united at the play-offs semi final second leg.
Marriott scored two, Mount score one, Wilson scored penno.

Mother of God, there’s more acronyms than AC12 to decipher..

Decent game for the neutral.

22nd March 2014...
A day to savour...
?????
 
 

You’ll never beat Tomori.

Hopefully Bielik's injury isn't that bad and he is still alive to play again next season. 

Why the angry face? @dcfcreece1601

Bye bye George 

You’ll never beat Tomori.

Just watched Solo which according to some comes after episode 3, to introduce Han Solo, chewbacca and the millennium falcon. Only a Star Wars story though so has no official number. Pretty good, fair bit of action and certainly better than the poor acting in episodes 1-3. 

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? 
 
  These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said ... 
  in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had 
  the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. 
 
  ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? 
  WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' 
  ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? 
  WITNESS: My name is Susan! 
  _______________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? 
  WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. 
  ____________________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? 
  WITNESS: No, I just lie there. 
  ____________________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? 
  WITNESS: July 18th. 
  ATTORNEY: What year? 
  WITNESS: Every year. 
  _____________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? 
  WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. 
  ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? 
  WITNESS: Forty-five years. 
  _________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? 
  WITNESS: Yes. 
  ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? 
  WITNESS: I forget.. 
  ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? 
  ___________________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? 
  WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? 
  ____________________________________ 
 
  ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? 
  WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. 
  ___________________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? 
  WITNESS: Are you pooping me? 
  _________________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? 
  WITNESS: Yes. 
  ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? 
  WITNESS: Getting laid 
  ____________________________________________ 
 
  ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? 
  WITNESS: Yes. 
  ATTORNEY: How many were boys? 
  WITNESS: None. 
  ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? 
  WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? 
  ____________________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? 
  WITNESS: By death.. 
  ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? 
  WITNESS: Take a guess. 
  ___________________________________________ 
 
  ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? 
  WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard 
  ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? 
  WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. 
  _____________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? 
  WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. 
  ______________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? 
  WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. 
  _________________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? 
  WITNESS: Oral... 
  _________________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? 
  WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM 
  ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? 
  WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. 
  ____________________________________________ 
  ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? 
  WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? 
 
  ______________________________________ 
  And last: 
 
  ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? 
  WITNESS: No. 
  ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? 
  WITNESS: No. 
  ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? 
  WITNESS: No.. 
  ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? 
  WITNESS: No. 
  ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? 
  WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. 
  ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? 
  WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. 
 
 
 

You like my flag guys for Monday! (2m wide)... ?

Apparently, up until the age of ten, Sean Connery's son thought Humpty Dumpty shat on a wall