Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[TomBustler1884]

This thread just goes to show how common it is to have dark times in your life, and how little it is in the public domain.

I struggled whilst at University, not really understanding who I was, questioning my value to those around me. That culminated on my 20th birthday when I left my friends at the time, went home and spent some time self-harming. Luckily I didn't do much damage, but for someone who was very happy and confident before going to University, was quite a shock to me, let alone friends and family.

For me, I felt like I needed to make a change and take control back of my life which involved moving to Warsaw to teach English and be somewhere that needed me to rely on myself. Not saying that's the best option for everyone, but it worked for me. 

Fast forward 12 years and my birthday at the end of May will see me 6 years married, a dog, mortgage, job I love, friends around me and having the confidence to stand up and perform a wedding ceremony for my friends myself. (I'm not a priest by the way!). That's all on top of a great year doing 1884 Group stuff and putting myself out there for ridicule.

It's funny how life works, and I wouldn't want anybody to think I was trying to compare a low point in my life to the struggles others face, some of which are very difficult to read, but I hope I can give a shred of comfort that life can get better if you give it a chance to do so.

[Mafiabob]

I've decide to look into doing a counselling course of some description..... I've had 6/7 people separately tell me I would be pretty good at this line of work, so maybe looking into doing it part time or/and online..... Maybe a new exciting profession 4/5 years down the line for me!

[Day]

On 20 April 2016 at 07:33, Mostyn6 said:

@RamDon I found your post incredibly moving to read. It was a good job I was reading it on the loo at home and not at work! As someone who floats between content and misery with regularity, I take incredible comfort (if that's the word!) in knowing that I am not alone in having dark thoughts.

I don't think I've been to the extremes though, hence the initial post asking how people know when they've hit the bottom, I've certainly had moments thinking about ending it all, and think I've almost attempted to twice over 20 years.

My situation is borne out of loneliness, and lack of intimacy, I'm sure of it. I struggle to find purpose in life. I've found a good way to paper over the cracks is by having things to look forward to. My recent holiday to Portugal kept my mind occupied for a while and gave me something to focus on, but even leading up to that, I felt incredibly low at my feelings that friends cannot make time for me, so my days were Work, Home, Eat, Sleep, repeat, and nothing else. Since returning from that holiday, the low feeling returned, and the emptiness. I've not seen any of the other 16 lads I went away with since, which is part of it.

I know a lot of people have it worse than me. SO I try not to burden people with my issues. But thank you for posting your story. 

Adopt a dog, not a crazy Jack Russell or anything, something that's past the must destroy everything age and sleeps all day. Walking into a house with a tail wagging ready to lick your face may help. Don't get too intimate with it tho, theres laws about stuff like that.

[ramit]

i'm dealing with mood swings, emotional imbalance and low stress tolerance, it sometimes pushes me into depression.

The best way for me to feel better, aside from talking about it is get my sleep and eating in order and become physically

tired from some activity.  The trouble is the depression lies into my ear, what's the use, don't even try, you are worthless.

No wonder that in older times people thought depression was some kind of demons infesting them.

i am looking more and more at it as my mortal enemy, whatever it is.

 

Am impressed with this thread.

 

[LesterRam]

 I have had real lows the last few weeks so i decided Monday that i shall walk myself fit, i decided in my wisdom that due to my weight that running was never going to achieve my goals so i decided that i shall walk a set route each day of this week, i have now covered 44k (27m), it is having a positive effect with my sleeping pattern because i am now going to bed physically tired and not just emotionally, i am really coping which is fantastic.

[SaintRam]

Just now, LesterRam said:

 I have had real lows the last few weeks so i decided Monday that i shall walk myself fit, i decided in my wisdom that due to my weight that running was never going to achieve my goals so i decided that i shall walk a set route each day of this week, i have now covered 44k (27m), it is having a positive effect with my sleeping pattern because i am now going to bed physically tired and not just emotionally, i am really coping which is fantastic.

Long may it continue 

[ketteringram]

2 hours ago, LesterRam said:

 I have had real lows the last few weeks so i decided Monday that i shall walk myself fit, i decided in my wisdom that due to my weight that running was never going to achieve my goals so i decided that i shall walk a set route each day of this week, i have now covered 44k (27m), it is having a positive effect with my sleeping pattern because i am now going to bed physically tired and not just emotionally, i am really coping which is fantastic.

Is it the same walk each day? Same distance? Just curious.

[LesterRam]

14 minutes ago, ketteringram said:

Is it the same walk each day? Same distance? Just curious.

Yes it is, I walked with the missus Monday and she used her fitness app to generate calories burnt, speed and km relating to my weight, this way I know approximately the right amount per day, I do stop briefly in a café though

[bcnram]

2 hours ago, LesterRam said:

 I have had real lows the last few weeks so i decided Monday that i shall walk myself fit, i decided in my wisdom that due to my weight that running was never going to achieve my goals so i decided that i shall walk a set route each day of this week, i have now covered 44k (27m), it is having a positive effect with my sleeping pattern because i am now going to bed physically tired and not just emotionally, i am really coping which is fantastic.

You might surprise yourself re: running. If you can walk at a reasonable pace, enough to get your heart beating a bit faster, then you can probably walk/run then run/walk, and progress to running 5 / 10k. If an overweight old git like me can do it, I think anyone can. 

 

[PistoldPete2]

18 minutes ago, LesterRam said:

Yes it is, I walked with the missus Monday and she used her fitness app to generate calories burnt, speed and km relating to my weight, this way I know approximately the right amount per day, I do stop briefly in a café though

Good plan, both walking and stopping at a cafe, but do a different walk even if it means taking the car somewhere first . You will soon get bored otherwise.

[ronnieronalde]

On 12/14/2015 at 15:05, Mostyn6 said:

thanks for you concern, but I think I am far from that level.

Admittedly, I am a bit low at the moment, Christmas is always a bad time for me, but I hope that the good things in my life are enough to keep me on track.

There's no doubt that, in spite of never being diagnosed, I have been and probably still am 'clinically' depressed.

It became a question that kept me awake last night, whilst reflecting on a tough couple of years (which is not unique to me!), wondering how far away from being at rock bottom I am. It was a weird concept, as steps, and when there are no more steps down, is that where you find yourself wanting out.

I often contemplate the effects of ending it all, which is not the same as planning to end it all, if that makes sense.

I know it's a cruel world and I look at what others have been through and it trivialises everything I consider a problem in my own life, and the fact that I won't burden people with my own issues seems to fit in with lots of depression "frameworks" if you will.

I found myself just wondering where I was on the staircase of mental well-being. I worry that I could be only one or two more knocks from rock-bottom.

Mostyn, I wish I'd not been on a self imposed exile seeing this thread, not only you but some of the other replies have shocked me and also made me think about the way I post to one or two members. I'll stop to think a bit more in future.

I've not read the rest of the thread yet and there's a couple of months gap, so hopefully by now you're ok.

BUT, if you're not mate, give me a shout and we can go out for a pint.

As someone who has lost everything (and almost everyone) over the last couple of years and taken knock after knock after knock I'd be happy to have a chat to see if we can't knock some positive sense into each other. 

I can't explain why every night before I finally get to sleep, I know things are going to turn around, but I know they are. Then I wake up the next day and start thinking I'll never get out of this hole and can't and don't want to face anyone.

No matter what our views are on football, I've seen enough from you to know that underneath the forum persona is a very decent bloke with a decent heart.

You're a good lad mate, good lads eventually work through things. They need support around them to climb back up, that's all.

You've got my email address pal, I'm in Derby often enough so that it wouldn't be out of my way.

What is frightening, the amount of people I'd assume were incredibly happy and fantastically well balanced who've struggled or are struggling still. 

I'd include myself in that as well.

Blimey but what an eye opening thread.

[LesterRam]

2 minutes ago, bcnram said:

You might surprise yourself re: running. If you can walk at a reasonable pace, enough to get your heart beating a bit faster, then you can probably walk/run then run/walk, and progress to running 5 / 10k. If an overweight old git like me can do it, I think anyone can. 

 

yes I have tried running, I have very bad knees, I displaced my left knee cap 24 times and my right 19 so bearing down on my knees at speed frightens me.

[LesterRam]

5 minutes ago, PistoldPete2 said:

Good plan, both walking and stopping at a cafe, but do a different walk even if it means taking the car somewhere first . You will soon get bored otherwise.

yeah i was only in the café briefly...

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 hours, oxygen and a couple of medics and i was fine to continue

[bcnram]

10 minutes ago, LesterRam said:

yes I have tried running, I have very bad knees, I displaced my left knee cap 24 times and my right 19 so bearing down on my knees at speed frightens me.

Ouch you!! Sorry to hear that. Enjoy the walking. 

[Mostyn6]

@David if I was at home more, I would definitely already have a dog. I am crazy about dogs as you have probably sussed, and miss having one around. But my life is much different to when I had a dog (2009 I said goodbye to my dog  ) and back then I worked 10 minutes from home, and house-shared with my brother. I now live alone and work 90mins away, and longer hours, and in a flat with no garden. Would be cruel.

@ronnieronalde thanks for the kind words, I'm grateful that quite a few in here have said similar. I am hovering between moods at the moment, and my good moods are very good. I just hope you're okay mate. I am worried that your humour has abandoned you, but in previous post you admitted you was tongue in cheek, so I'll take that. x

[ronnieronalde]

Taking a leaf out of our forum colleagues book. A curtains special.  A random youtube link!

 

[Rev]

46 minutes ago, LesterRam said:

yeah i was only in the café briefly...

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 hours, oxygen and a couple of medics and i was fine to continue

I'd agree with changing your route often, it's scientifically proven that taking differing routes to the same destination improves the mind, by the releasing of endorphins stimulated by the brain processing different information.

Even taking a different drive to work each day can be helpful, I've certainly noticed a difference since I've started doing it.

[Highgate]

24 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

@David if I was at home more, I would definitely already have a dog. I am crazy about dogs as you have probably sussed, and miss having one around. But my life is much different to when I had a dog (2009 I said goodbye to my dog  ) and back then I worked 10 minutes from home, and house-shared with my brother. I now live alone and work 90mins away, and longer hours, and in a flat with no garden. Would be cruel.

@ronnieronalde thanks for the kind words, I'm grateful that quite a few in here have said similar. I am hovering between moods at the moment, and my good moods are very good. I just hope you're okay mate. I am worried that your humour has abandoned you, but in previous post you admitted you was tongue in cheek, so I'll take that. x

If you are hovering between moods, does that mean you are bipolar?  Do you get the 'manic' highs at times?  Sorry for the questions but it sounds like you could have some of the same symptoms as myself.   I've had Lithium recommended to  me on several occasions, apparently it works well as a mood stabilizer and it's helped a lot of people more than just he regular SSRI antidepressants.  I've never taken it myself as i try to avoid medications long term generally...but i think i'm going to change that policy shortly.

[Mostyn6]

6 minutes ago, Highgate said:

If you are hovering between moods, does that mean you are bipolar?  Do you get the 'manic' highs at times?  Sorry for the questions but it sounds like you could have some of the same symptoms as myself.   I've had Lithium recommended to  me on several occasions, apparently it works well as a mood stabilizer and it's helped a lot of people more than just he regular SSRI antidepressants.  I've never taken it myself as i try to avoid medications long term generally...but i think i'm going to change that policy shortly.

no, the mood swing is only a recent thing, as in last 5-10 days. Mainly cos I've booked a holiday and am looking forward to it, plus work has been very busy, providing a bit of job satisfaction.

[Highgate]

Oh right, that's good then.  I can't recommend the mood swings to be honest.  Hope you enjoy the holiday.