Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[Cisse]

30 minutes ago, ketteringram said:

Is this any particular type of crowd? Is it about sheer numbers? I've no problem with large crowds, but am useless with small ones! I'd be fine in a 100,000 crowd at a game or a gig, but there is no way I would walk into the Brunny. 

I don't blame you for not wanting to walk into the Brunny.

[Cisse]

I had some difficulties long ago with public transportation and queing in the shops and things like that. What helped me get rid of that was when I realised that worst thing that could happen to me was passing out. So I thought if I pass out I envent some wild story why that happened when I do come around. That always made me feel like laughing which usually relieved the pressure of those panic attacks a lot.

Actually I think Pointy Room would be ideal place to practise this because a lot of the folks I've met there would be very understanding for your situation, Kettering.

[Day]

4 hours ago, SaintRam said:

I've been getting into/returning to some more creative pastimes and it's helping, especially with my general outlook. 

Still finding it nigh impossible to talk myself into going anywhere where I think I'll come across a crowd though, that's gotten a lot worse recently. 

After spending the majority of 6 years inside the house I'd like to think I know how you feel. 

It's hard, really hard and most people reading this won't understand what goes off in your head, something so normal as going to the corner shop to pick up a paper scared me to death. 

I won't ever claim to know the secret of overcoming it, for me it was almost forced through a relationship breakdown which at the time absolutely messed me up but looking back was also the best thing to have happened. I was too comfortable, no pressure to go outside so it was easy to put it off for another day. Tomorrow I'll try, tomorrow never comes.

The person that helped me the most was my ex girlfriends mum, the motivation of trying to win her daughter back helped me go down to the doctors, after going through all the surgeries on the NHS website not one would actually come out to me which is just nuts.

Other than finding out I had seriously low levels of vitamin D and my knee was knackered they were pretty much useless, tried to put me on anti depressants, the ones that were so strong they turn you into a zombie. After refusing them I was told to go away and find myself a councillor instead. 

For me taking pills to zombify myself would only mask the issue, it was a course that I wouldn't be able to just stop either, I would have to lower the dose over several months if not years. Vitamin D supplements helped boost my energy, the main source of vitamin D is the sun, I had zero. It's also been linked to SAD and why people struggle so much in the winter. How true that is I don't know. Helped me.

I won't knock the NHS as they do a lot of good but the support and treatment for mental health issues up here at least is shocking.

Now this probably isn't the best advice but what worked for me was I called a mate, opened up, told him everything, he thought I was just loved up and bombed my mates off. He was pretty surprised by everything as I kept it well hidden. Anyway, we started going to the pub, at first sat outside, he would go in, bring the drinks out. I would have half, panic, go home. 

Couple days later try again, having a mate that knew what was happening, was aware that I may suddenly start legging it home made it so much easier and he would come round unannounced some nights just to get me out. 

22nd October 2013 I had my first pint inside the pub. 

1st December 2013 me and my mate ended up in a gay bar down town, didn't realise until the cross dressing DJ got on the decks playing Take That.

[Insert a year of realising how great it is to be outside, going to the pub, seeing mates, online dating]

3rd January 2015 I went to my first Derby game again for years, Southport in the cup.

Never happened overnight, there was fairy with a wand or magic pills. Small small steps, one day at a time and if you fail one day it's ok, don't hammer yourself for it just try again the next day. I'm still not fully cured so to speak, I still have a few moments where I need to walk away and compose myself. 

Knowing what I missed out on helps drive me through each day, I'm not religious, I don't believe in after life or I will have a second chance. 6 years I've lost of my life and there won't be a day goes by that I'm not kicking myself for it. Easier said than done but don't waste another day, you will never get them back.

[ketteringram]

35 minutes ago, Cisse said:

I had some difficulties long ago with public transportation and queing in the shops and things like that. What helped me get rid of that was when I realised that worst thing that could happen to me was passing out. So I thought if I pass out I envent some wild story why that happened when I do come around. That always made me feel like laughing which usually relieved the pressure of those panic attacks a lot.

Actually I think Pointy Room would be ideal place to practise this because a lot of the folks I've met there would be very understanding for your situation, Kettering.

I know what you mean about shops. A few years ago, I went through a phase. Lost count of the number of times I just abandoned a trolley full of shopping, simply because I couldn't face the interaction with whoever was on the till. Crazy. 

[SaintRam]

Thanks for that, @David. Really. 

Over the years the smaller gatherings/places with small amounts of people haven't been all too difficult to get through (that's not to say I ever *want* to go and if it's ever left up to me I never do) - but I do have temporary bad spells that usually last from a week to a couple of months where I just can't do anything. As for larger challenges, such as a Derby game, lets just say that's distant.

As you say, it will be the smaller steps mainly and the other half helps with that hugely (although it is a slight obstacle that she's lazy as ****) - However I've spent my years getting my social interaction through gaming and I've spent 5 or 6 years with the same 6 or so guys from New Orleans; In the near future I'll be taking a bit of a leap having been persuaded to go and visit them for a few weeks.

Unexpectedly, I'm looking forward to it (for many that would seem like a strange thing to say but I'm sure you can relate to the surprise I had at feeling that) and I'm hopeful it will help. Still need to book the flights though.

Sure would be nice to go to a Derby game again 

[Cisse]

I know of those wasted years that Daveo mentioned. Although in hindsight I surely could have used those years I believe they have taught me a thing or two.

The appreciation of the nice things I have in life is now more valued by me than it used to be. To go out to eat with a friend, having a pint in a pub by myself, able to have hobbies...

Also I wouldn't be surprised if after a decade or two I would get some new perspetive on the matter.

[PistoldPete2]

4 hours ago, David said:

After spending the majority of 6 years inside the house I'd like to think I know how you feel. 

It's hard, really hard and most people reading this won't understand what goes off in your head, something so normal as going to the corner shop to pick up a paper scared me to death. 

I won't ever claim to know the secret of overcoming it, for me it was almost forced through a relationship breakdown which at the time absolutely messed me up but looking back was also the best thing to have happened. I was too comfortable, no pressure to go outside so it was easy to put it off for another day. Tomorrow I'll try, tomorrow never comes.

The person that helped me the most was my ex girlfriends mum, the motivation of trying to win her daughter back helped me go down to the doctors, after going through all the surgeries on the NHS website not one would actually come out to me which is just nuts.

Other than finding out I had seriously low levels of vitamin D and my knee was knackered they were pretty much useless, tried to put me on anti depressants, the ones that were so strong they turn you into a zombie. After refusing them I was told to go away and find myself a councillor instead. 

For me taking pills to zombify myself would only mask the issue, it was a course that I wouldn't be able to just stop either, I would have to lower the dose over several months if not years. Vitamin D supplements helped boost my energy, the main source of vitamin D is the sun, I had zero. It's also been linked to SAD and why people struggle so much in the winter. How true that is I don't know. Helped me.

I won't knock the NHS as they do a lot of good but the support and treatment for mental health issues up here at least is shocking.

Now this probably isn't the best advice but what worked for me was I called a mate, opened up, told him everything, he thought I was just loved up and bombed my mates off. He was pretty surprised by everything as I kept it well hidden. Anyway, we started going to the pub, at first sat outside, he would go in, bring the drinks out. I would have half, panic, go home. 

Couple days later try again, having a mate that knew what was happening, was aware that I may suddenly start legging it home made it so much easier and he would come round unannounced some nights just to get me out. 

22nd October 2013 I had my first pint inside the pub. 

1st December 2013 me and my mate ended up in a gay bar down town, didn't realise until the cross dressing DJ got on the decks playing Take That.

[Insert a year of realising how great it is to be outside, going to the pub, seeing mates, online dating]

3rd January 2015 I went to my first Derby game again for years, Southport in the cup.

Never happened overnight, there was fairy with a wand or magic pills. Small small steps, one day at a time and if you fail one day it's ok, don't hammer yourself for it just try again the next day. I'm still not fully cured so to speak, I still have a few moments where I need to walk away and compose myself. 

Knowing what I missed out on helps drive me through each day, I'm not religious, I don't believe in after life or I will have a second chance. 6 years I've lost of my life and there won't be a day goes by that I'm not kicking myself for it. Easier said than done but don't waste another day, you will never get them back.

Thanks Daveo. My daughter says she has social anxiety. Doesnt like anything involving people except with her immediate family.  Not sure if this is "depression" but its certainly not fun. I do think any kind of avoidance is bad and especially for very young people that they can learn to overcome the anxiety. But trying to persuade someone to do something they absolutely dread is very very difficult. 

[Day]

Just now, PistoldPete2 said:

Thanks Daveo. My daughter says she has social anxiety. Doesnt like anything involving people except with her immediate family.  Not sure if this is "depression" but its certainly not fun. I do think any kind of avoidance is bad and especially for very young people that they can learn to overcome the anxiety. But trying to persuade someone to do something they absolutely dread is very very difficult. 

I obviously can't speak for your daughter but I wasn't depressed at any stage and felt a little fobbed off by the doctor at the time.

You are right avoidance is the worst possible thing, facing any fear is the only way you can overcome it

Wish I could offer some advice on how to approach it but everyone is different, like I say for me it was the shock of losing someone and realising how much they meant to snap me out of it, I dread to think where I would be now had we been still together. Funny how things work out.

Is it something that she recognises is a problem and wants to work on or is she happy as she is and doesn't see anything wrong with it?

 

[Wolfie]

15 hours ago, LesterRam said:

Has anybody suffered from trying to sleep and how they overcome this, suffering a new low recently and trying to nod off and stay asleep is becoming very hard, even picked up sleep apnea which is frightening, I wake up and have major panic attacks.

Probably a wild stab in the dark but do you have acid reflux at all?. Just that I went through something very similar and the stopping breathing and panic attacks thing was eventually attributed to hiatus hernia and acid reflux.

[PistoldPete2]

9 hours ago, David said:

I obviously can't speak for your daughter but I wasn't depressed at any stage and felt a little fobbed off by the doctor at the time.

You are right avoidance is the worst possible thing, facing any fear is the only way you can overcome it

Wish I could offer some advice on how to approach it but everyone is different, like I say for me it was the shock of losing someone and realising how much they meant to snap me out of it, I dread to think where I would be now had we been still together. Funny how things work out.

Is it something that she recognises is a problem and wants to work on or is she happy as she is and doesn't see anything wrong with it?

 

Ok.. the topic title is depression but  youre in charge... I guess we are OK to deal with other health problems.  She recognises the problem, says she wants to do something about it, but rejects almost all suggestions, such as, as I say, trying to face the fear. Easier said than done I suppose.    

[GboroRam]

27 minutes ago, PistoldPete2 said:

Ok.. the topic title is depression but  youre in charge... I guess we are OK to deal with other health problems.  She recognises the problem, says she wants to do something about it, but rejects almost all suggestions, such as, as I say, trying to face the fear. Easier said than done I suppose.    

I've edited the title slightly because I feel that the discussion is broader than depression. 

[SaintRam]

9 minutes ago, PistoldPete2 said:

Ok.. the topic title is depression but  youre in charge... I guess we are OK to deal with other health problems.  She recognises the problem, says she wants to do something about it, but rejects almost all suggestions, such as, as I say, trying to face the fear. Easier said than done I suppose.    

The difficulty with anxiety, and "facing the fear" is that anxiety tends to manifest in physical forms. The severity varies but nausea, shaking etc. are very common and then there are plenty of less common manifestations that are just as bad or worse.

Anxiety is an illness in it's own right, but is also a symptom of Depression and other more complex disorders (medically - don't want to suggest Anxiety/Depression are not complex in themselves) such as Borderline Personality Disorder and similar.

There are chemical aids that will help someone like your daughter regardless of the specific problem(s) she has - Exercise (endorphins), Vitamin D etc. will all help; even if only a little. One symptom all these illnesses have in common is reduced levels of these helpful chemicals. It could be, for example, that a lack of these chemicals are (as discussed recently) preventing her from having any interest in being around other people, that in time develops into an interest (comfort) in avoiding them, that then develops into an anxiety of being around them.

For more complete advice, tailor made to your daughter, you need to delve deeper into what specifically your daughter struggles with. If it was your daughter I was talking to, I'd tell her she needed to first be as open as possible with her loved ones and get them on the same page that she is on - often that's enough to start (and eventually finish) the road to recovery; but if not, at that stage going to see doctors/therapists needs to be discussed.

As has been discussed earlier in this thread, the circumstances of problems are unique to the person and while the severity from a medical point of view varies wildly, it's always a nightmare for the one suffering; thus, you have to approach these issues from the outside assuming that it isn't as simple as it may be coming across.

 

And by the way, I'm in no way suggesting that you're not on the same page as your daughter, obviously I don't know the circumstances. All I know is that I've had multiple mental health issues for almost half my life now (I'm 23) and it took years of my loved ones asking me questions before I moved on from just saying I was depressed and leaving it at that.

 

[SaintRam]

Just now, GboroRam said:

I've edited the title slightly because I feel that the discussion is broader than depression. 

While I appreciate the thought and agree with that decision, the "etc." does come across a little dismissive. 

Not upset or anything by it, for some reason it made me laugh, but might come across that way to others too.

[GboroRam]

22 minutes ago, SaintRam said:

While I appreciate the thought and agree with that decision, the "etc." does come across a little dismissive. 

Not upset or anything by it, for some reason it made me laugh, but might come across that way to others too.

I understand - but I didn't want to present a list of issues as though it was a predetermined list that you can talk about. I'll try again.

[Animal is a Ram]

Why not the Mental Wellbeing thread?

[PistoldPete2]

10 hours ago, SaintRam said:

The difficulty with anxiety, and "facing the fear" is that anxiety tends to manifest in physical forms. The severity varies but nausea, shaking etc. are very common and then there are plenty of less common manifestations that are just as bad or worse.

Anxiety is an illness in it's own right, but is also a symptom of Depression and other more complex disorders (medically - don't want to suggest Anxiety/Depression are not complex in themselves) such as Borderline Personality Disorder and similar.

There are chemical aids that will help someone like your daughter regardless of the specific problem(s) she has - Exercise (endorphins), Vitamin D etc. will all help; even if only a little. One symptom all these illnesses have in common is reduced levels of these helpful chemicals. It could be, for example, that a lack of these chemicals are (as discussed recently) preventing her from having any interest in being around other people, that in time develops into an interest (comfort) in avoiding them, that then develops into an anxiety of being around them.

For more complete advice, tailor made to your daughter, you need to delve deeper into what specifically your daughter struggles with. If it was your daughter I was talking to, I'd tell her she needed to first be as open as possible with her loved ones and get them on the same page that she is on - often that's enough to start (and eventually finish) the road to recovery; but if not, at that stage going to see doctors/therapists needs to be discussed.

As has been discussed earlier in this thread, the circumstances of problems are unique to the person and while the severity from a medical point of view varies wildly, it's always a nightmare for the one suffering; thus, you have to approach these issues from the outside assuming that it isn't as simple as it may be coming across.

 

And by the way, I'm in no way suggesting that you're not on the same page as your daughter, obviously I don't know the circumstances. All I know is that I've had multiple mental health issues for almost half my life now (I'm 23) and it took years of my loved ones asking me questions before I moved on from just saying I was depressed and leaving it at that.

 

Thanks SaintRam... from my own very limited experience, my own theory is that anxiety and depression are linked.. hence why I think the topic title has usefully been edited. The chemicals involved in anxiety are linked to our bodies natural defence mechanisms.. adrenaline and  cortisol. They are classic flight vs flight hormones, but when they are not properly controlled they lead to harmful stress and then possibly to depression. Depression can be regarded as de-pressurising, like a diver coming up from a high pressure deep dive and then suffering from the effects of his body's failure to adapt to changes in the pressure of his changing environment. Well that's my theory anyway.

I am  interested to hear that you think that it can work the other way , ie that depression can lead to anxiety. I suppose that is true also.. if you have a negative outlook on things this may give you a greater predisposition to anxiety. So basically it can be a vicious circle.

As you say everyone's circumstances are different.. in some case the anxiety may be well founded in others it may be a phobia or paranoia. In any event , it can cause real health problems, including depression and maybe a host of other problems both physical and mental.

[RobboRam]

What do people think about prescribed drugs such as beta blockers or anti depressants in aiding anxiety and depression. Are they simply masking the issue (like a painkiller for a physical injury) whilst the real issue remains or can they help long term, with a view to coming off them and not always reliant on them.  Hope that makes sense. 

[davenportram]

pain killers allow life to go on despite of the symptom. Eventually in most cases the pain goes away. But for issues like arthritis daily painkillers aren't unheard of.

Why should beta blockers etc .... that aid the sufferer to get on with life be any different? Mental illness like any other may need short term medication and treatment for some isuues, but for others a long term strategy is needed

[SaintRam]

I was on Citalopram for a couple of years after my worst spells, and it helped a lot. The biggest thing it changes was it made me far less prone to emotional swings. Also made me hallucinate though (nothing complex or acid-like, just colours in my peripheral vision which was kind of annoying). Coming off it was difficult though, very trippy for a couple of weeks.

[LesterRam]

I am not a big fan of anti depressants, I think I went through the majority of the prescribed ones on the market and some were horrendous, I took some which gave me blistering headaches, hot flushes and one that gave me a sexual disorder, when I  come off them I had a feeling of impending doom.