i-Ram
-
Posts
11,586 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by i-Ram
-
-
1 hour ago, richinspain said:
Occasionally when I go from the last post of a thread back to the section I'm in (instead of the next unread post in that section) the whole of that section gets marked as read.
@David this is happening to me too. Not sure it is always the last post, but a few times today when l have been on the transfer thread a whole section defaults to having been read, when l have only accessed one thread randomly.
-
-
9 hours ago, Paul71 said:
Sometimes its not easy to articulate what we feel. I'm rubbish at it.
We try and say the right things but often there is a fear we say the wrong thing or it comes across the wrong way. Its hard online as you don't see the emotion in text like you do in person.
You don't need to give words of wisdom, most of the time you can't. Just let them know you are thinking of them that's enough.
In this regard Paul, on a good few occasions recently l have wanted to post something wise regarding your particular circumstances but failed miserably. I have however thought of you lots, and l sincerely hope that things are on the up.
- Mostyn6, rynny, Coneheadjohn and 4 others
-
7
-
40 minutes ago, LesterRam said:
I am not the greatest parent on earth but I can safely say that I would never leave three children alone, two defenseless babies and one toddler, many children go missing and a few abroad but none get this level of coverage, it would be interesting to know how much we have spent on this case to say Ben Needham.
These are all very good points Lester, none of which l would disagree with. I am not an apologist for the McCanns. I think l have made that clear enough. I have not tracked this case at all over the years, and some of the conspiracy theories on here perhaps do raise questions. But, it is 10 years on now and not one police force has produced sufficient evidence to charge the McCanns, and l don't think they have been suspects for some 8 years. If they come on telly or appear in a newspaper l turn over, or don't read it, but l remain as matters stand feeling pity for them because they have paid a heavy, heavy price for their neglect.
P.s. I will not post any further on this subject.
-
3 minutes ago, McRamFan said:
It stinks, that why people are sniping.
They left their kids, alone, to go out, they have admitted that. That, in my opinion and the opinion of many others, is child neglect, child neglect is a crime that, in ths instance, would have gone to Crown Court, and a custodial sentance imposed.
How come only one child went missing?
I am not defending the neglect issue. As for your last sentence, you are a bigger idiot than I have previously given you credit for.
-
10 hours ago, Bwash_Ram said:
If anyone is in any doubt as to their guilt, just watch the excellent documentaries on youtube by Richard Hall.
Blimey, the Met have been all over this matter for the last 5 years, and still have 4 full timers working on the case. And all the time the answer is available on YouTube. Very annoying.
Other things that annoy me:
The McCann's putting their children at risk. A very poor decision.
People still sniping at them 10 years on. I hope they find their child. They have paid their dues for a very poor decision.
-
8 hours ago, uttoxram75 said:
The Vulcan Street Popside was the place to be back then. Away fans would try and "take" it, never happened....Tottenham, West Ham, Man City, Arsenal.....all got a good kicking a few seconds after the initial gap opened up on an already packed terrace.....fair play to them, can't remember any other fans trying to take the Popside, How those gaps opened up is amazing but once the bloke with the cap (from Ilson), or the big Dutch lad, Johann, piled in, it was all over for the away lads who thought little Derby were an easy touch. This was 7 or 8 years before the DLF were even heard of.
Can't help yourself can you. Even BobbyD outlining earlier how his life supporting father didn't go to another game after experiencing football violence fails to put you off glorifying the wonderful act of kicking someone's head in, even if you do nicely cloak it as nostalgia. You should try and move on from the 70's and the Skinhead culture buddy. Hopefully it's not too late yet for you to become an 80's New Romantic.
-
8 hours ago, ilkleyram said:
Hi Norman
I'm just over twice your age but just like you I am hesitating about whether to press the send button or not because I am in no way qualified to express an opinion about you or what you describe - I don't know you or your circumstances or the people around you. I do know however how courageous you and Loughborough and Tony and everyone else is on this thread who are sharing their innermost feelings to a bunch of strangers on a forum. I come from a generation and a family who largely don't do that. So thank you for pressing send. Your way is much better than my way.
The bad news is that one of the things that I have learnt over the years is that life is repetitive and routine. Each of us take the same journeys, do the same jobs, follow the same football team, go to the same way to matches, eat the same food, go to the same pub, drink the same beer, shop in the same shops, listen to the same music, watch the same films, develop particular interests, do similar things day in day out. Every day, every week, every month and at certain times, every year. Life is routine whether you are the most glamorous person you can think of, or whether you're me. That's life.
But
Life is not pointless. You have a brilliant missus and a great dad. They probably think the same about you. That's not pointless, that's important. You have a decent job. That's not pointless. Whatever it is that you do you will be interacting with others - colleagues, customers, suppliers - people you affect through whatever it is you do. People who will be grateful for what you do and how you do it. That's not pointless, that's important. You have friends. They're friends because they care about you. That's not pointless, that's something to be valued and nurtured. It's important.
And, it seems to me that you have some of the answers that you might be looking for. What's wrong with being in your garage for two hours in silence? I walk on Ilkley Moor every day with my dogs. I talk to them but mainly I talk to myself. I don't want anyone else with me. I want to be on my own. What's wrong with that? It does me good. Be kind to yourself and do what makes you feel good, never mind what you think anyone else might think. It has taken me many years to realise that I'm important to me.
But you also say that you struggle with day to day life and that you feel intense feelings of sadness and we are the only ones who know, and you hit the send button. I'm not qualified to help you, but you know what, if one of my friends said those things to me I would say find some help, someone who is qualified to assist - a GP, a counsellor, a friend. Not because what you are feeling and doing is pointless or wrong, but because you are important.
Good luck.
Top post. If l am ever on Ilkley Moor I will make sure not to bother you
-
59 minutes ago, Norman said:
Ok, here we go.
I've typed this out a few times, then subsequently deleted it.
I'm 29. From the outside I'm a strong, independent, fit, happy person.
I'm not.
I have everything. A brilliant, and I me a brilliant missus. A supportive family, a brilliant Dad, and a decent job. I go to the gym, I have friends etc.
However, when I wake up, I don't want to get up. I don't want to brush my teeth, again. I dont want to drive to work. I sit in my car and think about the awful 8 hours I have to endure. Its only Tuesday, how am I ever going to get through to Friday? The same thing over and over again. The repetitve, pointless nature of life saps all energy from me.
It's the pointlessness of life that gets to me the most. Everything seems so tedious, so painfully boring.
I've been doing the gym for the last 5 years, and got jacked. But the pointless, repetitive lifting is not what I enjoy. I enjoy going to my garage, on my own, and being with myself in silence for 2 hours. No music, No noise. Just my thoughts. And It is then I find solace in my head. The questions of life disappear, the annoyance of other's actions and decisions become insignificant. But it will all be back in the morning.
I over-analyse, I over-think, and I struggle with day-to-day life. And only you lot know. Which makes me wonder if this is a plea for help, or me deciding that this is the way I think, and I need to change it from now on.
I'm not suicidal, but I know I feel deep, intense feelings of sadness. But they've gone by dinner time, because life isnt as bad as my head makes it out to be in the morning, at times.
Now to decide to hit the post button or not?
Glad you hit the button Norman, and l hope you feel better for doing so. Not sure l can give any great words of wisdom here but I am comforted by the details of your fifth paragraph. A chat or two with a good Counsellor l am sure will help with tackling the sadness and anxieties that you are experiencing. Best wishes.
-
-
51 minutes ago, bigbadbob said:
Libraries. They're well boring
They are, but you can make them fun easily by putting gum under some chairs, or empty food wrappers sticking out of some books, and my personal favourite is to put an empty Coke can in the adult non-fiction section. Smiling just thinking about the last one.
- DarkFruitsRam7, bigbadbob, mozza and 4 others
-
7
-
5 hours ago, ramsbottom said:
Got to say I'm feeling really low today. Despite shedding 10lbs in a week on the Cabbage Soup Diet and getting back to running I still feel like a fat, useless slob inside. I feel that I'm use no as a father or husband, and they'd be better off without me and have my life insurance to spend. I try to be positive for my wife's sake, but the voices in my head tell me she's sick me and she's found someone better. I can't stand the thought of not being with them but I feel my behaviour is pushing them away...
Not comfortable reading this buddy. Talk to your wife and please get an appointment to see your doctor. You have opened up to us. Open up in the same way to your wife and Doctor. You need love and help. I am sure they are both there for you.
-
11 minutes ago, Boycie said:
I blame the parental guidance.
I have had my rod out all morning waiting for a bite, and I get a Minnow with attitude. I was hoping to get a real bite from a big Bass on this forum, you know someone like SRG, but I could be waiting all week. Think I will call it a day.
-
I remember the first time I took my little girl up to Pride Park. About 5 or 6 she was. We hadn't got so very far when she piped up "what's that Daddy?". She was pointing to some litter drifting around on the street. I explained to her what it was, and she replied "they really are dirty ******** up north aren't they Daddy". Out of the mouths of babes. Out of the mouths of babes.
-
3 minutes ago, Alpha said:
@Daveo recommended some vitamin b. The Xmas break was important for me as I got some sleep (was sleeping 3/4 hours per day for 3 weeks before that.)
Having two kids kept me busy and I've watched a ridiculous amount of football. Helps switch off, as does posting on here.
While not feeling to happy about the now, I think I can cope with it. A few weeks ago I wanted a way out. Needed a way out. Now, I'd quite like an escape and that time machine but don't feel so desperate.
Whether it was this thread, this forum, kind words from @uttoxram75, @i-Ram , @rynny, the vitamins, the sleep, reading the experiences of @Mafiabob, @Mostyn6, @SaintRam
it's looking less grey.
Still didn't deserve Poster of the Year Award. You ****.
-
12 hours ago, ketteringram said:
Just on the off chance, that anyone has had a look at this thread, and wondered what on earth we're talking about! Well if you don't know, you are very fortunate.
Don't ever be fooled though, into thinking that it only happens to other people. If everything in your life, relationship, work, self esteem, and so on, are ticking along nicely, then that's great. During times like those, you tend not to think that one day it won't be like that, and rightly so! I'm not saying it won't always be like that. Hopefully it will.............. But...... If anyone had told me ten years ago, where I would be living, and HOW I would be living now, I'd have thought them nuts.
Same five years ago. If someone had shown me a glimpse of myself now...... I would have just said no way. That can't be right. That is not me. I'd never be like that. I'd never behave like that. Etc etc.....
Also, never underestimate how events can change you. Bereavement especially. I lost both parents, unexpectedly. We were not even close. And the effects are often not felt for a long time after the event. I didn't even know about that! So just be wary.
Watch how that can destroy other precious relationships. When offered help, by those more clever and knowledgeable than you, take it. Don't turn it away like I did.
And as for that time machine....... Sadly not happening is it. I'd borrow it when you have finished with it!!
Re the looking forward stuff. Yes of course. Sounds easy. Makes sense. However it doesn't always work like that for a while. You have to get to the right place first. The railway embankment, at three in the morning, in the pouring rain, is not the right place.
So if everything is rosy, then great. I'm not saying, just you wait and see, one day or won't be. But 'new York minutes' are not confined to new York.
Hope you all have a good Christmas time. If it's a time you are not keen on. It'll be over soon enough. Jan the first is my favourite day of the year! Take care.
Merry Christmas Kettering. You take care too.
-
Alpha mentioned wanting/needing a time machine to deal with some of his issues. Personally, I think depression/stress can be debilitating because of looking back - you do have to start looking forward. Paint a picture of what you want your future to look like, and then start making some decisions (however small) that start leading you to where or who you want to be. Some decisions will be difficult, and taking advice and counsel from impartial third parties is key.
As some others on here have said, exercise is good for a healthy clear mind and in truth alcohol intake should be avoided/reduced during periods of depression. It rarely helps.
One thing I created many years ago - not played it for a long time in truth - was a "happy tape". It was a tape with music on that made me smile, laugh, dance. It wasn't a tape of my favourite songs per se, and in fact I can't recall it having any of my favourite groups on it (but Radiohead aren't great for depression either), more simply music and songs that just gave me a lift, an adrenalin hit. I know nothing else about them, but still The New Radicals "you get what you give" (or something like that) makes me just want to bounce all over the place.
- Rev, bcnram and ketteringram
-
3
-
1 minute ago, Mostyn6 said:
if you're gonna draw on them, at least turn the hats into turbans!
Racist!
Genuinely, hope you get things sorted buddy. Had a few run-ins myself with depression over the years; acknowledging it, and taking positive action is the best medicine.
-
-
Scrabble anybody?
-
The genius that is Foals. New single What Went Down is just brilliant and can't wait for new album in August.
-
Thanks pal, get paid tomorrow so will probably get a 4 pack of the Piraat.
They don't come in 4 packs, they come in pieces of 8.
-
My girlfriend got me this for my birthday earlier this week. Absolutely love it. Not the priciest watch on the market but definitely one of the best leather strapped watched I have seen in terms of looks (in my opinion, obviously many will differ).
7abLzmB" />Happy Birthday Millsy - a nice, manly watch.
-
7abLzmB" />
Beer Thread
in The Jim Smith Room
Posted
No it's an Icelandic White Ale - silly you