richinspain

Google, to Derby County websites as the EFL is to Derby County.

He only looks 12 to be fair.

That's because they know you're from Liverpool ?

I don't agree with you. Could someone start a poll?

Doesn't Puta DCFC translate to mother effing bitch Derby County Football Club?
I admire your brave departure from the norm.

Yes, but wait till he's fit.......
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
..... still waiting!

Told this before on here, but here we go again...
I used to live 3 doors away from a petrol station. I hardly ever bought petrol there as is wasn't the cheapest, but it was my local shop and i popped in 2 or 3 times a week.
I was in bed asleep one night, when i had heard banging on my front door, looked out of the bedroom window and saw 2 coppers. Went downstairs and they asked if i had a red Fiesta?
I replied 'Yes, has it been stolen?'
Copper says 'Well they must be nice car thieves as they put some fuel in for you, it's been at the pumps 30 metres away since 7pm'.
At that point I realised  had made a rare fuel visit to the garage that night, browsed round the shop, then walked home with a pint of milk, leaving the car at the pump'
I explained to the police who pissed themselves but kindly offered to not mention my name when they told the story back at the station.
 
    

Where to start.

Confess the stupid things you've done.
I've just undone the trap under the bathroom basin, being careful to keep it level and not spill the water.
I then proceeded to pour the water straight down the very same sink, flooding the floor.
 

You sexist pig

I think the bolts were pulled upwards with his eyebrows 
 

Probably the hardest player I saw in a Rams shirt. If he faces this horrible illness like he did opposition centre halves he'll have it banished in no time. All the very best Mick ????

In before lo… wait never mind.

Robert Smith of the Cure would have to come with me, and I can’t do without female company for long (and who would keep the place tidy?) so I would go for someone like Michelle Keegan who always strikes me as being a nice girl.
Forum members. A little more difficult. But I think @Eddieand @Norman. Norman to keep Eddie locked up under ‘house arrest’ for the whole of the journey.

Takes taking the knee to a whole new level… 

Are we a feeder team for Tamworth now? 

FTFY (bring back the "good"old days?)

FTFY (bring back the "good"old days?)

Jesus man, are you flirting with me?  You think I am going to Mars in a pressurised tin can with Boycie?
1) You must be aware of his bowel issues surely?
2) He would start fiddling with the wiring before take off.
I would feel more comfortable as my 12 year old self sitting on the Jim’ll Fix It Armchair.
 

I'll start with the celebrities, because they're easier and I won't offend anyone.
Robert Plant - simply because he's my absolute mancrush, but in a none sexual way. He can at least give a song or two.
Richard Ayoade - love his sense of humour.
Forum members.........
I could very easily say any of the members I've "met" on the group chats. All seem to be great company and I know I could spend plenty of time with them.
However I'm going to go for one of those very people, but only using their posting style as a guide. One would be @i-Ram. I love his dry sense of humour in a similar way to Richard Ayoade's.
The other I will have to go for @Carl Sagan, if he couldn't get us through a trip to Mars nobody could.

Wouldn’t trust him with electricity, only plumbing 

You ain’t having fun with me unless you buy me flowers. Is there a mucky emoji? Nope. I’m famous. 

If knees are an issue, how about "Picture of where you and a body part are"
 
What could go wrong?

2 hr David changed the title to Picture where you are now
 
booooooooooo
Ive entertained people the length and breadth of the country trying to contort my body to get the background and knee in perfect symmetry only for you to make all that effort redundant.
Shame on you. 

@i-Ram and @Boycie
Frankie Boyle and Sir Alex Ferguson.
I’m going for maximum entertainment, plus throwing in an oldie who I could listen to all day.
2 Scotsman as well that will know how to drink, wouldn’t be a quiet night up there in the capsule.
Plus Boycie hates Frankie Boyle which would be a laugh in itself.