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ram1964

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  1. Haha
    ram1964 reacted to Boycie in Joe Hart   
    Yeah, seems to have been dropped, like one of his crosses.
  2. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Richard Dastard Lee in Harry on Mel and Frank appointment   
    That would have been two car crashes in one season!
  3. Like
    ram1964 reacted to G STAR RAM in The BBC   
    So its 9 o'clock on a Saturday evening, prime time tv and the best the BBC can offer up is a repeat of Gavin and Stacey?
    And I'm being charged £150 a year for this diabolical service.
    Surely its time for this tax to be scrapped.
  4. Like
    ram1964 reacted to FindernRam in New joke thread   
    My friend Dipstick just told me that he robbed a shop last night.
     "What did you get?" I asked.  "26 pictures," he smiled, showing me.
    "The cheapest one is worth over £180,000."
    I said, "Mate, these are from an estate agents."    
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     I couldn't believe it today, when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't actually mine.
    She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    My brother took being sent to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him,
    then smeared the walls with his own faeces.......

     I'll never play Monopoly with him again
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     My wife said she wanted to experiment in the bedroom...
    So I got her a chemistry set and went to the pub.   
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I came home from the pub four hours late last night.
    "Where the heck have you been?" screamed my wife.
    I said, "I've been playing poker with some blokes."
    "Playing poker with some blokes?" she repeated.
    "Well, you can pack your bags and go!"

     "So can you," I said. "This isn't our house any more."                 
     
  5. Like
    ram1964 reacted to King Kevin in New joke thread   
    How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? 
     
      These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said ... 
      in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had 
      the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. 
     
      ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? 
      WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' 
      ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? 
      WITNESS: My name is Susan! 
      _______________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? 
      WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. 
      ____________________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? 
      WITNESS: No, I just lie there. 
      ____________________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? 
      WITNESS: July 18th. 
      ATTORNEY: What year? 
      WITNESS: Every year. 
      _____________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? 
      WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. 
      ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? 
      WITNESS: Forty-five years. 
      _________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? 
      WITNESS: Yes. 
      ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? 
      WITNESS: I forget.. 
      ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? 
      ___________________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? 
      WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? 
      ____________________________________ 
     
      ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? 
      WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. 
      ___________________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? 
      WITNESS: Are you pooping me? 
      _________________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? 
      WITNESS: Yes. 
      ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? 
      WITNESS: Getting laid 
      ____________________________________________ 
     
      ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? 
      WITNESS: Yes. 
      ATTORNEY: How many were boys? 
      WITNESS: None. 
      ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? 
      WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? 
      ____________________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? 
      WITNESS: By death.. 
      ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? 
      WITNESS: Take a guess. 
      ___________________________________________ 
     
      ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? 
      WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard 
      ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? 
      WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. 
      _____________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? 
      WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. 
      ______________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? 
      WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. 
      _________________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? 
      WITNESS: Oral... 
      _________________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? 
      WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM 
      ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? 
      WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. 
      ____________________________________________ 
      ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? 
      WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? 
     
      ______________________________________ 
      And last: 
     
      ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? 
      WITNESS: No. 
      ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? 
      WITNESS: No. 
      ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? 
      WITNESS: No.. 
      ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? 
      WITNESS: No. 
      ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? 
      WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. 
      ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? 
      WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. 
     
     
     
  6. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Squid in Duane Holmes - What a guy.   
    I know this is not entirely football related however Duane was part of a twitch.tv livestream on Call of Duty tonight with Jordan Sinnott’s brother, Mason Mount too and it was an absolutely quality stream.
    Duane was giving away items such as signed tops from himself, signed boots by Rooney, Marriott, Ashley Cole etc.. (I SHOULD OF WON THE COLE BOOTS! You had to guess the song Duane played on the guitar, and first to tweet him wins( I was first and I got the right song, wrong title😭)
    But what you really got to see tonight was how much of a fantastic guy he is, going that extra mile to make viewers happy by randomly giving away items etc, they raised £5000 tonight for Jordan’s charity!
    He even got a signed Keogh top sorted for someone, and mentioned how Keogh is a great guy and is still willing to sign Derby tops.
    I don’t really know the main reason why I wanted to post this but I just think he deserves a special shoutout, he’s done loads for charity during this lockdown and tonight was a brilliant experience for fans to be able to chat with him, have a laugh and a few drinks too..
    He’s got such a fantastic attitude towards the fans, and everyone in general & I hope he sticks around for a long time!
     
    Link for the Justgiving page for Jordan’s charity: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/sonia-cookson?utm_term=aMVEpqm6M
     
    When it hits 10K he’s getting an R9 trim by the way☺️
  7. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Stagtime in ANZAC Day 2020   
    It was a moving ANZAC day dawn service this morning with everyone out in the driveways with candles this year instead of the Avenue of Honour. In case you don’t know ANZAC day is our equivalent of  Remembrance Day. April 25 1915 marks the anniversary of the first major military action of Australian and New Zealand troops when they landed at dawn at Gallipoli Turkey.
    My father who was born in Derby served his adopted country in both Malaya and Vietnam. So today I will raise a toast to all the current and ex servicemen around the world to thank them for their Sacrifice for their respective countries. Lest we forget.
     
    Dad returning home from Vietnam 1968 and a replica copy of his service medals.

  8. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Millenniumram in Are Derby players deferring wages?   
    I’m definitely of the opinion that players should be taking some sort of a wage cut while this is all ongoing, in order to help prevent clubs from going under, and ensure non playing staff can continue to be paid. But equally, there’s no reason why players at one club should be taking more of a wage cut than players elsewhere. It should all be fair across the board. The 50% proposed by the club seems quite high (maybe a sign of our longer term financial mess), so if the PFA are advising 25% then Rooney and the rest of the players are well within their rights to demand a deferral at that level max. 
    That said, the article from the daily mail again seems sensationalist. From what I’ve read, there doesn’t seem to be much of a “wage war” going on. As far as I can tell, the club initially demanded a wage deferral which was unfairly large, and now appear to have reasonably backed down to an acceptable level after talks with the players. All seems perfectly fine and under control to me. I’m unsure what we’ve done to the Daily Mail to make them hate us as much as they seem to, but it strikes me that they’ve been trying to put a negative spin on every story about us recently.
  9. Clap
    ram1964 reacted to angieram in Norman Hunter   
    Norman Hunter - a worthy enemy and a great player. He epitomised how football was played in the 70s - full-blooded with no prisoners taken but great heart.
    How I miss those days.
    RIP Norman.
  10. Like
    ram1964 reacted to angieram in Norman Hunter   
    How right you are. 
     
  11. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Boycie in The perils of garden football   
    Patrick Bamford did the exact same thing. But when his mum opened the window to bollok him, he was rolling around the lawn demanding a penalty.
  12. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Ted McMinn Football Genius in If the season really did end now... ST refunds?   
    The.club can keep my season ticket money. 
    I’m fortunate that I’m still working through the COVID-19 pandemic at the moment. 
    🐏🐏🐏🐏🐏🐏
  13. Like
    ram1964 reacted to David in If the season really did end now... ST refunds?   
    I wouldn’t accept it. This isn’t on Derby County. It’s a global pandemic which is completely out of their control. 
    Saying that I think the season will be completed before the next starts, regardless of when that will be. 
  14. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Mick Brolly in The disgraceful EFL   
    Tea time 
     
  15. Clap
    ram1964 got a reaction from Ellafella in Happy Birthday Roy   
    Privileged to have seen him play, world class player and would have been an addition to for any top team bar non.. Not sure many midfielders since have matched his quality and the guy should be considered as an all time great ,and not just by Derby fans.
  16. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Pearl Ram in Happy Birthday Roy   
    Because he comes across as such a nice bloke you can quite easily forget how tough he was, particularly in his early years he had to play against some right bruisers, Andy Lockhead at Villa springs to mind, as tough as they came but Roy stood his ground and was never intimidated by any of them. Top, top footballer who was a pleasure to watch.
  17. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Geriatram in Happy Birthday Roy   
    August 28th 1967 I went to Rotherham to watch Roy make his debut, the Rotherham centre forward was a guy named Laurie Sheffield, he was one of those in your face players who always played well against us , Not that night though, A wonderful young Roy McFarland had him in his pocket all the match. We all knew then what a great signing he was going to be. Oh dear was that nearly 53 years ago.   
  18. Like
    ram1964 reacted to europia in Flip Reverse: Wembley 2014   
    If Lampard had picked Carson and Marriott for the play off final against Villa.....
  19. Haha
    ram1964 got a reaction from bigbadbob in Best Ever Signing   
    Archie Gemini from preston
  20. Like
    ram1964 reacted to maxjam in Coronavirus   
    Haha, I'm in the same boat as you.... Work from home, suppliers slowly drying up, Post Office possibly due to shutdown or offer a reduced service in the coming weeks - doing okay at the moment but its probably only a matter of time.  Meanwhile my list of jobs from from the wife 'to keep me busy' is steadily growing - I'm thinking it might be easier to just move house at this rate!
  21. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Archied in Coronavirus   
    Seen a report that any staff working in nhs whose visa s are expiring with have them automatically extended ,,,,,,,,any risking their lives in our hospitals to save lives should be granted automatic citizenship if they want it
  22. Like
    ram1964 reacted to RamNut in Coronavirus   
    Look let’s be accurate...
    Its the Wuhan Chinese disgusting wet market dirty b....disease. 
     
     
  23. Like
    ram1964 reacted to mozza in Arsenal v Derby Match Thread   
    Cos i'm in isolation. 
  24. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Mucker1884 in Oh go on then, where are we eating?   
    Eaten there a couple of times.  Very nice.
     
     
     
    😉
  25. Like
    ram1964 reacted to Mostyn6 in Best Ever Signing   
    Poom, Wright, Saunders, Stimac or Eranio. 
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