Mucker1884

2 hours ago, Van Wolfie said:

Babies are all different of course and nothing is going to work all the time for everyone but for us getting ours into a routine for sleep & bed time (and sticking to it) as early as possible was fantastic.

It can't be coincidence that our friends who complain that their young ones won't go to sleep or sleep through the night are the ones who say the bed time and routine varies wildly.

She also loved to sleep being swaddled.

Yeah... around 6:30pm, so they're settled before the soaps come on!  ?

14 minutes ago, mozza said:

You can only be there for him mate, thoughts are with you. 

Thanks Buddy.  Appreciated.

That's just it... as a parent, you just feel so helpless, and so hopeless!  Being there is just about it!
There are no wheelchairs to push.  No wounds to dress.  No laces to tie up for them, or a nice juicy steak to cut up for them.  Of course, I wouldn't wish that scenario on anyone, let alone members of HM Forces and their kith & kin, but I'd hope folk reading that get what I'm saying.  With all this "invisible injury" crap, there really is next to nothing we so called parents can do to help, from a practicality point of view.
So very, very frustrating!

I do like positives though, and I honestly think, as gruesome and heartbreaking as it is, it's a positive that we eventually learned of the specific details of what it is that gives him his nightmares... when he does eventually drift off to sleep for a few minutes!  
I guess there are still many that suffer in silence, and ergo, many families that just aren't aware.  It took 4 years, but at least we found out eventually!

Sorry... I'm rambling!

UTR.

Anyone got any knowledge, experience and/or comments regarding EMDR therapy?

Currently looking at possibly going down that route for my son, as he's recently had a set back.

In brief, it relates to "Battle related PTSD" and his stints (more so the second stint) in Afghanistan in 2012.  (I won't go into detail if you don't mind.  I'd struggle to type it, and it most certainly ain't for the pages of a public forum anyway!)

He kept his troubles totally to himself for over 4 years, until Dec. 2016, when it all kicked off!  He's since had help via the MOD, including CBT and meds.  After being "On the sick", he was officially signed off from the forces about 18 months ago, and has since been living what appeared to be the life of Reilly on Civvy Street in Cornwall, firstly at a boat building college, and for the past 6 months, actual boat building (Ye Olde Kraftesman Stylee), which is a job he is absolutely loving.  (His time in Cornwall has seen the continuation of the meds, but no further therapy... other than what they taught him to do himself).

Unfortunately though, he's been slipping backwards recently, (unknown to us... again, despite weekly Face-Time's!) until he finally called us for help a week ago, whereupon we went straight down there to bring him home, and mop his brow!  We spent all last week talking to various NHS departments (Now he's a civvy!), and they are now advising this EMDR treatment.  Obviously we'll do some research and talk more with various  experts, but if any of you guys and gals have anything to add... positive or otherwise... I'll be all ears!

For the record, he's calmer than he was a week ago, but still far from ok.  We've seen him worse, but want him better.  Even in their mid-thirties, we parents never stop worrying, do we!  

On the plus side, his employer has spoken to him (during this past week) and his job is to be kept open for him indefinitely, or  "until he says he ain't going back".  That's a massive positive, as of course he wants to go back... if he can find a way to cope with everything else!

Not so much on the plus side, me and his elder brother will be accompanying him to the match on Wednesday, for his first game since Wembley, "in an attempt to cheer him up a bit"!     Oh bugger!  

Cheers.  

23 minutes ago, Paul71 said:

The baby?

As a parent, mine is to merely offer expert advice.  It is up to others as to how they deem fit to interpret such offerings!   ?

If baby won't drink cold milk, put it in the microwave for 30 seconds.

25 minutes ago, SouthStandDan said:

People who undercook their bacon. Shame on you ??

Sister has always grilled hers for 30 seconds either side.

I never spoke to her throughout my entire teen years.  In fact, I couldn't even bear to look at her!  She's 60 on Monday... Lord knows how, with that sort of diet!

55 minutes ago, Van Wolfie said:

A friend of mine usually ends up buying presents for his wife that end up costing us money.

Mrs Wolfie is going to London for the weekend with his Mrs, because he bought her a voucher for afternoon tea at the Ritz for her birthday. She insisted on going overnight, so they could relax etc but it'll end up costing us about £300 for somebody else's present.

The same has happened in the past with Wimbledon tickets & music concerts that Mrs Wolfie isn't bothered about seeing.

If you can afford it, and it's something Mrs W enjoys, then why not. 
As that doesn't seem to be the case with the latter two examples, I think someone needs to be a bit more assertive, and say "No thanks.  That's not something that appeals to me" to the next "invite"... and someone else needs to do a little more thinking before buying his wife a "Present-for-one"!  At the very least, he should be consulting with you/Mrs W before going ahead and booking something.

...Either that, or he needs to start manning up, and actually start spending some time with his missus himself!  LOL!

#Justsayno

33 minutes ago, ThePrisoner said:

Every petrol station is notorious for this now they all sell bleeding coffee.

Last weeks "National Coffee Day" was fun!  (Free vending on EVERY Costa Express Machine in the country, I believe?)  Caused massive queues "at the pumps" from what I could see!

I equate Brains (The brewery, not the human organ!) with Wales?  If so, I'll let others narrow it down from there.  The statue is certainly not familiar.

21 hours ago, Paul71 said:

You rarely hear about what people go through when they come off their medication. I recently came off mine. 

While I am far from being in a bad place it has been a challenge. My moods have been up and down, more irritable and certainly some physical symptoms such as sickness, dizziness. I expected to be weened off for a while but it was pretty much an immediate stop which surprised me.

I really hope this is an effect of coming off the meds rather than how its going to be. I am better than i used to be, i practice my count to 10 when i get annoyed or someone says something and i try not to react.

One place i don't tend to take that approach is online. DCFCFans is really the only place I post, I don't bother with Facebook or Twitter. Of late I have found posting here a bit of a challenge too, I know its ridiculous as its just an online forum but I find myself being affected by what people say, and the things i can post at times.

Its stupid the times you have got into a 'discussion' with someone or something has been said to you that I can lie awake at night spinning it round in my head. I think the issue with a text response is it can be misinterpreted so easily , I am sure no one sets out to upset anyone but it does happen, I know i don't intend to but can think of numerous occasions where something I have said can be taken that way.

Last night was one of those for me, I said something to someone which was no way intended to be a slight on them but it was taken that way and i can see why. And without going into it the recent events have affected my love for the club, i will still attend games as the time i spend with my Dad is important to me, i hope my love has returned by the time renewal time comes up.

I have been thinking I need to leave this alone for a while, I have asked @David to remove my account which he is doing although I have a cool down period in case i change my mind which i might do i dont know.

For now I am going to log out on all my devices, I will still access the site to read whats going on but as a 'Lurker' only.

I wish I was and hope to have the calm head and sensible approach that @angieram has, hopefully I will one day soon.

Anyway I am just another poster amongst hundreds/thousands, as I said I will keep an eye on things especially @Van Cone De Head and @Mrs Cone as i genuinely have an interest in how Joel is getting on.

Anyway Au Revoir.....and good luck!

 

11 hours ago, reverendo de duivel said:

I'm so sorry to read this @Paul71, especially as I was the poster who followed up your comment by posting another mindless joke.

I too experienced a fitful night's sleep, which was a suprise to me as initially I pushed back against the reaction, I also realised that nothing I post is worth losing sleep over, and woke determined to make amends.

Please don't leave the forum, it's a much better place with your wisdom and wit than anything I bring to the table, and it would be a shame for others to miss out on that because of shitstorm I created.

@David please accept this as my resignation from the forum, I can't have this on my head too.

 

Was just about to come on and beg you both to stay.  

Turns out you're both not allowed to leave anyway, so I won't bother!  That way, everybody's happy!  :-)

It's sad enough that I stop us both in our tracks to photograph my knee on holiday and/or day trips... or indeed during my first ever literal sighting of Wembley Stadium!
I have absolutely no intention of adding my tea to the list!

Pork steaks from Coot's farm (Nr Duffield) in the slow cooker with veg.  Yorkie on the side.

Very succulent and tender!

I'm certainly no connoisseur but I'm very impressed with the various cuts of meat/poultry we've had from there so far.  I think we'll definitely become regulars!   

17 minutes ago, Turk Thrust said:

Current nonsensical phrases that for some reason annoy me

1. It is what it is

2. Back in the day

3. Same old, same old

4. Beginning an answer with "So"

grrrr!

So, back in the day, people were moaning about this sort of thing, and even in this day and age, it's the same old, same old. Moan, moan, whinge, whinge. 
It is what it is, so not worth getting angry about it!  

54 minutes ago, FindernRam said:

We Europeans! 

Honestly?  I ummed and ahhed 'twixt the two, and wasn't convinced either way, so took a punt!  LOL!  

EDIT:
Actually no... my final decision was made on the basis that your version simply sounded too posh for on here!  :-) 

10 hours ago, Paul71 said:

I agree. 

Now get me on bloody Europeans and their queuing etiquette

 

Is that "Those Europeans" or "Us Europeans"?  ?

1 minute ago, Paul71 said:

We noticed it when we went to new york, people should remember you can smell it.

Oh... so you did mean on the plane then?  (See my edit to my last post).  I never knew that.

... and I could have got away without looking like an eejit!  ?

16 minutes ago, Paul71 said:

On the flying note air cabin crew. They have areas they can smoke in, why should they be allowed and not others. I don't think anyone should but why should they?

Never noticed that myself.. but then we've only ever flown with so-called budget airlines, and never longer than 3 hour or so flight. 

EDIT:
Oh... read it again... I presume you meant airport, not on the plane!  Eejit me!  

3 minutes ago, Paul71 said:

Thats a tough one because everyone is entitled to fly, it would however make sense to me that if you need assistance then you should sit next to someone who understands your needs.

On the note about queue skipping,  i understand that someone who needs assistance going first,  along with a couple of family members,  but why all in the party? This year there was a family with someone in a wheelchair who all skipped the queue, must have been about 10 of them.

 

It was a tough one, in all seriousness.  Of course we didn't begrudge him his flight/holiday, but we couldn't help thinking he would, at the very least, "delay our progress" should an evacuation have been needed.  From memory, the 3 others in his party were a row in front, on the other side of the aisle.
Luckily neither of us are big drinkers, so at least we didn't need to disturb him for the 3 hour flight!  WE were both bostin' by the time we got off though!  ?

I assume your queue skipping comments are not related to my tale.  Just to clarify, his family were all on board, and he was last on, presumably having to wait for the lift operators etc?  No queue jumping in this case... but I have seen examples of what you describe!  Doesn't bother me personally... what with Muckerette wanting to be last on anyway!  (And more than happy to pay more for booked seat numbers!)

Agree with a lot of the airport/plane stuff.  We too always try to be last on.  The less time physically on the plane, the less tense wife I have!

Here's a scenario for you... maybe not annoying, but certainly made us go "Hmmmm"...

We're on, and sat in our seats... the two nearest the window (in a row of three).
A bit of waiting around... turns out it's a guy in a wheel chair... hoisted up on a lift-thing, and in through the door opposite to the walk-in door.  Simultaneously, staff and family (already on board) help to raise the guy out of the wheel chair, and shuffle him along, admittedly on foot, but only an inch at a time, to his seat... where they then proceeded to bend him, shape him, and somehow sit him down.  His hands weren't great either, so they also buckled him in.  Estimated time from front entrance area to his row 4 aisle seat?  12 mins?  Maybe 14?

Now here's the funny bit... his seat just happened to be the seat next to me... between me and the aisle... the aisle being the most appropriate route to take during any form of emergency evacuation!  Even though you haven't met her, you don't need me to describe the look on Muckerette's face... not exactly relaxed on a flight at the best of times, and now faced with the possibility of having to patiently wait for the disabled guy to be unbuckled and helped out of his seat before we can escape ourselves!

How we tittered, as the hostess went through the safety/evacuation procedure... NOT!
The phrase "Every man for himself" did enter my head, if I'm brutally honest, but I decided not to say it out loud!

As you may have gathered... the above is now a moot point, as we landed safely, and my neighbour was shuffled back to his wheel chair, and onto the lift, before we needed to stand and grab our bag from the lockers.

I sincerely hope he and his family had a wonderful holiday... but I hope the airlines are reading this, and give it some consideration!  
 

On 26/09/2019 at 14:23, rynny said:

People who see themselves on the screen inside a sports stadium and then wave at the screen, and not the camera. 

Or checks his hair is still slicked down to perfection... Yes Cristiano, of course we've all seen you!

6 minutes ago, Zag zig said:

Rooftop pool bar overlooking bay of Nice, watching planes and taking in liquids

Oh Thank God I read that twice... for a minute there, I thought a plane had crash landed on/in the water!  

6 hours ago, McRamFan said:

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate??

A fantasy?

... or is that just me?  

20 hours ago, SouthStandDan said:

Trip advisor reviews. Always read the bad ones before judging a place. Last year I went on holiday to a place which cost £18 a night b&b, it was old looking villa in the Algarve, yet you could use main hotel facilities next door. Granted, the place hadn't been updated for 25-30 years. It was clean though and everything worked. It was a ten min walk to a beautiful beach as well. People complaining about the state of the accommodation being terrible, no English TV channels, poor cooking facilities. It costs less than £20 a night, what were they expecting? Top class rooms? You couldn't pitch a tent in a field for that price. Barmy!

Left our main campsite yesterday... E198 for 13 nights.  Now en-route home.  E15 last night.  One final night tonight should be similar.  Maybe E18 at most.

I’m just being an ar5e though... totally agree with the rest of your post  ?

To the two “angry face” reactions to my last photo... if I may...

This was our first ever visit to anything bull ring related, and I include a lack of shopping trips to Birmingham in that statement.  It was a “reasonably entertaining evening” without proving to be amazing in any way.

It was on the northern edge of the Basque region, in The Landes, France. 

There was no mention of the word “Fighting”, be that in print, verbally, or in reality. 

Yes, it’s a circus. Yes it includes animals. And yes, there is an element of teasing/taunting of the beast, so any accusations of cruelty could remain valid by some, I guess. 

 I can only assume it is comparable to keeping wild animals in captivity (Zoo, wildlife park, aquarium etc).  Perhaps on a par with “swimming with dolphins” or taking a racehorse “over the sticks” in a steeplechase?  Maybe camel racing?  Or many other forms of “entertainment” that involves live animals, around the globe?

The “official” humans involved appeared to be acrobats, adept at dodging any “attack”, but then also the members of the audience who took part in a 10 a side football match (with the bull playing the part of a certain out-of-control Mr S Attwell!) also managed to comfortably avoid a goring, as did the half a dozen under 12’s who also braved the arena. 

We appeared to be the only two adults in the arena, who were not accompanied by children!

Feel free to continue to remain “angry”, if that so be your desire.