Day Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 Lost for words. i-Ram, Alph, MaltRam and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 The Compo face needs a bit of work. Day, Mucker1884, Alph and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 11 minutes ago, Day said: Lost for words. And now I can't stop singing the theme to the Banana Splits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted April 30 Author Share Posted April 30 18 minutes ago, Wolfie said: The Compo face needs a bit of work. I should send it in to the local paper to save others making the same mistake I have. The wife's brother comes every year. The in laws come every year. The wife has been multiple times. You should go, it's great they said. Absolute codswallop. From the minute you drive in you know it's going to be hell, long queues to be directed which way to drive through the concrete jungle, most places have check in desks in a nice reception area. Not Butlins. You check in like you're crossing a toll bridge and it's a dash for a parking space near your apartment. I walk into the apartment and it feels like a game of one wrong step and you're through the ceiling, floorboards caving in all over covered by a laminate lino. It's ok, I won't walk around, find the bed and it's as comfy as an ironing board and not much longer. I tip toe to the bathroom and faced with that shower, a shower than is smaller than the one on my Dad's yacht. Unbelievable, I grab the bananas for scale, squeeze in, take all the pictures to upload to social media but wait.....absolutely no mobile signal. Ok, they say they have wifi, well they do, but it's 1 bar of 1mb which comes and goes every couple of minutes. Properly pee'd off I'm here till Friday and still not feeling 100%, I stay in the apartment all night, excuse being not to infect the other guests, yet truth be told, reducing the population wouldn't be a bad thing, might get on the wifi then. The wife takes the kids and in laws out to the entertainment, I stay in to hear nothing but feral kids running around outside for a good hour before their parents realised they were being anti social. I make my way to the kitchen to make a fish finger sandwich, just 2 as they are the chunky ones. 45 minutes in the oven here. Eat those to be awoken at 6am by seagulls which I can only assume were killing each other. I feel loads better this morning, but undecided if I should venture out with the rest of the cattle or hide away in the apartment. angieram and Wolfie 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 You're getting worked up over nothing. A standard shower tray is only 5.7 bananas in the UK. You can get the 17 apple EU ones but they're a lot more expensive BaaLocks, Day, Grumpy Git and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted April 30 Author Share Posted April 30 I came up with a great analogy for Butlins this morning when the seagulls woke me up. Not sure it’s suitable for TripAdvisor though. Hear me out though, Butlins is like ahem, in the number 2.. Him “It’s not that bad, honestly you should try it, loads of people do it” Her “One day maybe, I have to be in the mood to try it” The day rolls round and after 30 seconds Her “Get out, get out, I don’t like it, get out!” I won’t ever ask for it again now as it will just remind me of Butlins. AbuDerbyDave and i-Ram 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 37 minutes ago, Day said: a shower than is smaller than the one on my Dad's yacht. This was the sentence where my sympathy started to wane Day, Mucker1884, Wolfie and 4 others 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted April 30 Author Share Posted April 30 6 minutes ago, BaaLocks said: This was the sentence where my sympathy started to wane Yeah, it's not like that at all. It's this and no house, cheaper than an house, lives on it full time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crewton Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 Think yourself lucky to arrive and not find a previous occupant stuck in the shower. Silver linings an' ting.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gee SCREAMER !! Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 1 hour ago, Day said: Lost for words. That silicone finish is dreadful. I'm equally shocked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gee SCREAMER !! Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 2 hours ago, Day said: Lost for words. I should give it a good spray down. God knows how many splayed buttocks have been jammed against those walls when the shower gel gets dropped. Hundreds i'd imagine. Chester40 and ramit 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 1 hour ago, Day said: I grab the bananas for scale Ah yes, the international scale unit of a banana Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaspode Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 (edited) Are you sure they're not just very large bananas? - would have been better to measure it using sausages.... Edited April 30 by Gaspode Day 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alph Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 The red coats will cheer him up. Their relentlessly irritating positive attitude is infectious. How can you ever get bored of gangnam style? uttoxram75 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreveram Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 Last time I went to Butlins the guy announced “ It’s Chico time “ nuff said.😱 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted April 30 Author Share Posted April 30 19 minutes ago, Alph said: The red coats will cheer him up. Their relentlessly irritating positive attitude is infectious. How can you ever get bored of gangnam style? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Posted April 30 Author Share Posted April 30 What are we teaching kids here? Already got to break the news Santa ain’t real, going to have to explain dinosaurs are actually extinct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gee SCREAMER !! Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 Could be Pontins at Prestatyn in the 80's. Worst week ever. I still bear the scars. Quite literally -12 stiches from standing on a broken bottle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-Ram Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 This is a very funny thread, although brings back some bad memories of my own. I took my kids to Butlins Minehead just after I broke up with the first Mrs I-Ram, so 20 years ago. I paid for a ‘Silver’ chalet, as Gold was too expensive. Jesus what a s******* it was. Mouldy shower, terrible dirty paintwork and carpet, and mattresses that when uncovered looked like they might have at some stage been used in an autopsy. It did make me wonder what you got for Bronze, presumably something akin to Alexei Navalny‘s final cell. I did get a discount after much discussion, and me sharing photos with them as to what I was going to send to the press, but we left on day 4 of 7 anyway. After 4 days of a nauseating and annoying young Stephen Mulhern, my ex-wife didn’t seem quite as bad after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mucker1884 Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 5 hours ago, Day said: ... I grab the bananas for scale... That's your first mistake. You're better of with these, if it's scales you're after... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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