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Alexa, tell her I’m right and she’s wrong!


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Virtual assistants such as Amazon’s Alexa and Google Home have the capacity to analyse how happy and healthy a couple’s relationship is, research has found.

In-home listening devices will soon be able to judge how functional relationships are as well as interrupt an argument with an idea for how to resolve it, the study said.

The research, by Imperial College Business School, stated that within the next two to three years, digital assistants could predict with 75 per cent accuracy the likelihood of a relationship or marriage being a success.

The technology would reach a verdict through acoustic analysis of communication between couples – examining everything from everyday encounters to arguments.

The virtual assistants would then be able to provide relationship advice and what researchers refer to as democratising counselling.

Full nutty story: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/alexa-relationship-dating-google-home-advice-imperial-college-research-a8658976.html?amp&__twitter_impression=true

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No chance. 

in 99% of households they would predict a marriage breakdown.

Which they will..

But they will all still be together. So is that classed a success?

Couples will hate eachother half the time, but that gives them something to moan about. And moaning makes us happy.


Best of luck trying to work a human out Alexa.. you bitch.

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Amazon already knows you better than your wife / husband does. Return rates on products bought by recommendation are lower than those bought as gifts by partners. Makes logical sense but still.

Kindle knows how fast you read a book, page by page or book by book. Authors are close to being paid on how many pages are read rather than selling a book that sits on the shelf unread forever.

It's here today.....

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I shout at Alexa  a more than the wife ☺.What a bitch,  bloody ignores me half the time, Talks a load of tripe, chooses to decide which lights and when to put erm on, says it doesn't understand me, or total silence. Think the thing has already replaced the wife .

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19 hours ago, David said:

Mine started reading the wiki page of Winston Churchill last night, didn’t ask it to, didn’t even summon the thing, just decided to educate me randomly.

I bet next doors hacked into it and were giggling.

If they give you the V for victory sign at the bins tomorrow you know it was deffo them.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 01/12/2018 at 11:20, FindernRam said:

Why are all these "assistants" female. Google, MS, Amazon, SatNavs. Plane autopilots. I have enough trouble with Mother, 3 sisters, 2 daughters and 4 Granddaughters. just one male on myside of the family and he's not yet 4!

What idiot said its a man's world!

A woman

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38 minutes ago, Parsnip said:

Ok so i've just bought an amazon echo and an amazon echo dot for the mrs for christmas. Now if i buy some phillips hue bulbs - will it be able to control them or do i need any other crap?

With the Hue you need a separate bridge.

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