Boycie Posted September 8, 2018 Author Share Posted September 8, 2018 Hey come on. this contents not to be sniffed at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve How Hard? Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 This thread is a clever attempt at bringing back political debate. The OP is just waiting for someone to mention Trump. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 .....Or all the old farts in the tory party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePrisoner Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 This thread has been a toot to read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester40 Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 At junior school we had a period where someone was letting go these definite 'signature' eye-watering SBD's. Several times a week there would be a wave of almost tear-gas proportions working its way across the room. The teacher would patiently say 'come on, whoever it is you really need the toilet'. After several weeks of lectures (and discussion on the playground)...and a mere half hour after another 'attack'....I let one go myself which was horrendous!!!. So bad it was not seen as a copycat attack...but the real McCoy. So the teacher just went off on one. She eventually promised that 'if whoever it was just admitted it' she would give them 10 merit points'. Nothing to be sniffed at. Suddenly another lad in class put his hand up...went out to the toilet and was highly praised for his 'honesty'!! At break laughed and said it wasn't hin but was worth it for the points..... I didnt let on it was me.....and the attacks stopped. To this day I don't know if it was normally him...or whether the attacker got off scott free.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted September 9, 2018 Author Share Posted September 9, 2018 Anyone ever played the farting game with a workmate when travelling in a vehicle? If one can make the other wind the window down after farting they get a point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Ram Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 My missus always lies... wasn’t me she say.. There are only two of us in the room ffs and I know I didn’t do it.. Also hers are worse. Absolute chemical warfare.. Mine are more volume than smell, hers are all about stealth. Ive told her she has got a blokes arse.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TigerTedd Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 My wife wonders where all my farts were before we got married. So do I, I don’t remember particulalrly masking them for her. i had an operation this year where they removed the part of my stomach that gathers all the gas which eventually escapes as a burp. The only significant side effect is that the gas still has to go somewhere. So instead of up, it goes down. My wife loves it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Ram Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 The funniest fart story I have heard was from my brother who’s daughter (about 8 yeas old) farted in the lift whilst on holiday in France. A local man entered the lift, put his hand over his nose and said ‘sacre bleu’!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coneheadjohn Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 No issue with farting but take responsibility if you do it. If you do one that’s a disgraceful sounding weapon of mass destruction it doesn’t make it ok to go “sorry” and a do a playful waft in front of your nose and go “it’s nutty”( @Mrs Cone),it’s not nutty it smells like crap. Walking and farting is not funny either and it’s not the dogs job to take responsibility for every foul smell only the ones they’ve done(and a couple of mine). And why am I the only one who gets sent to the toilet?? “Don’t come out till you’ve had a crap”...that’s false imprisonment. No fun in my house☹️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 1 hour ago, Ewe Ram said: The funniest fart story I have heard was from my brother who’s daughter (about 8 yeas old) farted in the lift whilst on holiday in France. A local man entered the lift, put his hand over his nose and said ‘sacre bleu’!!! Someone I know, ok it was me, was in an amusement arcade in Matlock Bath and knew their guts were in trouble, so nipped outside to discharge. A second after letting go, a woman was walking past and she stopped to check her shoes for dog muck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rynny Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 A mate of mine once did a fart that he managed to eke out in the form of a ref's final whistle. Two short bursts and then one long one that tapers off. An impressive feat that I have tried many times to emulate but never managed it I did however once do a fart on an aeroplane that was so bad the couple in front of me changed their baby's nappy and then couldn't understand why it was empty. My proudest work of fart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted September 9, 2018 Author Share Posted September 9, 2018 Why do your own guffs smell nice but anyone else’s smell like rotten road kill? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 21 minutes ago, Boycie said: Why do your own guffs smell nice but anyone else’s smell like rotten road kill? Whilst that is generally true, the holy fart grail is to do one so bad that you even make yourself gag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted September 9, 2018 Author Share Posted September 9, 2018 1 hour ago, StivePesley said: Whilst that is generally true, the holy fart grail is to do one so bad that you even make yourself gag Yeah but are the ones you think smell bad only smell bad because you think others will think it smells bad but you secretly still think it smell nice but say it smells bad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimRam Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 Overheard some of the secretaries at work discussing their lunch break in the local park. Apparantely a bloke sitting near them let out a loud fart. It was funny hearing women say the word "fart" (as it is always). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-Ram Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 Am l the only one on here who doesn’t find farting amusing? Just don’t get it. I appreciate that it is at times a necessary bodily function, but the joy some get from the noise or the smell their farts makes strikes me as juvenile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteHorseRam Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 10 minutes ago, i-Ram said: Am l the only one on here who doesn’t find farting amusing? Just don’t get it. I appreciate that it is at times a necessary bodily function, but the joy some get from the noise or the smell their farts makes strikes me as juvenile. Really? I always had you down as a cultured educated type of bloke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteHorseRam Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 4 hours ago, StivePesley said: Whilst that is generally true, the holy fart grail is to do one so bad that you even make yourself gag If you are only one that gags on that kind of top drawer bum quack, I am afraid you are really wasting your ammo. I went on a business trip to Barcelona with a great work mate of mine once. We are going down in the hotel lift and are going to jump straight in a taxi. Just before the button goes ping he lefts one go so bad I thought something had died. God knows what he had been eating - smelt like a waste food caddie kebab topped with five hard boiled eggs washed down with ten pints of real ale. As we step out smartly - I am still half CS-gassed and stumbling - as about five middle aged Spanish ladies barge in. I turn as the doors slowly close and the looks on their faces - frozen in horror. All day we just kept bursting out laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.