BaaLocks Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 5 hours ago, Boycie said: Why do your own guffs smell nice but anyone else’s smell like rotten road kill? There is a proverb in Iceland - 'every man likes the smell of his own farts'. You will use that one, I know, the next time someone at work is trying to convince you to do it their way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteHorseRam Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 1 minute ago, BaaLocks said: There is a proverb in Iceland - 'every man likes the smell of his own farts'. Nope - I'll think you find that was Jane Austen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 Flying back from India once I managed to do such unearthly mischief in the section I was in that the air stewardess came through and sprayed us all with air freshener. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 1 minute ago, WhiteHorseRam said: Nope - I'll think you find that was Jane Austen. Fart and Fartjudice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteHorseRam Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 2 minutes ago, BaaLocks said: Fart and Fartjudice? "I must confess, Reverend Barlow, when Lady Mordaunt entered the drawing room I was most disconcerted and was unable to follow your delightful playing on the piano forte." "Why so Miss Clifford?" I fear Lady Morndaunt had dropped her skip and I was near gagging." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted September 9, 2018 Author Share Posted September 9, 2018 37 minutes ago, BaaLocks said: There is a proverb in Iceland - 'every man likes the smell of his own farts'. You will use that one, I know, the next time someone at work is trying to convince you to do it their way. I’ll use this with David next time when he won’t listen to my criticism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Cone Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 8 hours ago, Boycie said: Why do your own guffs smell nice but anyone else’s smell like rotten road kill? Mine are lovely, they smell like pie!!! X ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted September 9, 2018 Author Share Posted September 9, 2018 20 minutes ago, Mrs Cone said: Mine are lovely, they smell like pie!!! X ? Aye and mine smell like a perfumed flower garden m’duk ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamNut Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 The problem with farts is....the realisation that those pungent and still warm molecules that are currently in your nose and mouth were actually up somebody else's back passage only five seconds hence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted September 10, 2018 Author Share Posted September 10, 2018 Better out than in, my old grandma used to say. Bloody stunk in her house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stive Pesley Posted September 10, 2018 Share Posted September 10, 2018 8 hours ago, RamNut said: The problem with farts is....the realisation that those pungent and still warm molecules that are currently in your nose and mouth were actually up somebody else's back passage only five seconds hence. That kind of scientific over-thinking leads to no good. I have a friend who forbids anyone from pooing in her bathroom toilet because, and I quote, "atmospheric poo molecules will float through the air and land on my toothbrush" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highgate Posted September 10, 2018 Share Posted September 10, 2018 4 hours ago, StivePesley said: That kind of scientific over-thinking leads to no good. I have a friend who forbids anyone from pooing in her bathroom toilet because, and I quote, "atmospheric poo molecules will float through the air and land on my toothbrush" Problem solved. There you go, just get her one of those and you can basically return a whole room in her house to the purpose it was built for. I'm sure she'll be really grateful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 On 08/09/2018 at 23:25, Wolfie said: Don’t want to kill this intellectual thread but since I went low carb, farts are a distant memory. How long till you noticed the difference? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 16 minutes ago, BaaLocks said: How long till you noticed the difference? Wolfie went to the doctor's, and told him that although he still farted almost constantly, they are completely silent and have absolutely no smell. The doctor reached for a huge pole with a wicked-looking hook on the end. "What are you going to do with that?" asked Wolfie, almost panicking. "Well, I'm going to open the window, then I will syringe your ears and have a look at your nose" he replied. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GboroRam Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 On 08/09/2018 at 20:05, Boycie said: Down wind obviously. Shurely shome mishtake - upwind, no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 21 minutes ago, BaaLocks said: How long till you noticed the difference? Within a few days. I went low/no carb a year or so ago because I'd always been unable to shift that extra half stone of weight I always wanted to. I ended up losing 3 times that pretty quickly & now am using it to maintain my weight as it is by staying pretty low carb during the working week but then letting myself have the odd portion of chips or bread etc at the weekend. I'd recommend it as a diet but I found it easier because I've always craved savoury rather than sweet, so I would always choose salted peanuts over chocolate. It would be a lot harder if you have a sweet tooth, I'm guessing. Sugar is the enemy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 16 minutes ago, eddie said: Wolfie went to the doctor's, and told him that although he still farted almost constantly, they are completely silent and have absolutely no smell. The doctor reached for a huge pole with a wicked-looking hook on the end. "What are you going to do with that?" asked Wolfie, almost panicking. "Well, I'm going to open the window, then I will syringe your ears and have a look at your nose" he replied. You're closer than you probably think, seeing as I have pretty much constant sinus blockages & wear hearing aids ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddie Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 28 minutes ago, Wolfie said: You're closer than you probably think, seeing as I have pretty much constant sinus blockages & wear hearing aids ? Same here with the hearing aids and the silent, odourless farts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaaLocks Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 40 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Sugar is the enemy! Indeed you are right. Sugar killed more humans last year than all guns, war and other forms of murder / violence. Also, some suggest, more than all drugs combined (inc. tobacco). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted September 12, 2018 Share Posted September 12, 2018 On 10/09/2018 at 07:45, Boycie said: Better out than in, my old grandma used to say. Bloody stunk in her house. Did she used to leave you on the step and refuse to open the door? ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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