Wolfie

33 minutes ago, Paul71 said:

Ha no i am not, being a life long asthma sufferer i hate it with a passion. My nephews girlfriend is pregnant and has smoked throughout her pregnancy, i cant tell you how mad that makes me.

Anyway I just don't see how you can be fully in control of a car with a ciggy in your hand, and what if you drop it.

Plus it stinks....I used to travel with a co-worker who smoked in his car, in fairness he wouldnt when i was in the car but you got out feeling like you had had a pack of 20. Smokers tend to not realise that masking the smell isnt possible with cheap air freshners etc.

 

As a former secret smoker for many years I used to do it all the time in the car. The tip was to have the drivers window down a couple of inches and the fan on high & directed to your feet. Worked a treat and I never got caught having a smelly car.

Obviously had the compulsory breath freshening menthol sweets and alcohol handwash. Sad really.

12 hours ago, McLovin said:

On a similar topic, people who come and stand right next to you when you're having a wee in the urinal. I thought there was an unwritten rule and there must be at least 1 gap space?

Indeed....

 

Toiletiquette: The Unwritten Rules Of The Men’s Public Toilets

By : Alex Bentley | 17/02/15

3.5k Shares

 

Men’s toilets can be a confusing place. There are some scary smells and questionable stains. But there are some unwritten rules that sometimes get overlooked. Don’t break them.

We’ve all got several public toilet related anecdotes. You don’t want to feature in anybody else’s.

Which urinal do you use?

If the room is empty, this is an easy one. You use the one at the far end. If you are second in, you use the one on the opposite end. That’s just how it is. If both are taken, you use one in the middle, but not next to one of the lads who got there before you. If there is no urinal left that isn’t directly next to somebody, you may opt to go in a cubicle.

Obviously you leave the door wide open if you do that so that nobody else tries to go in. If you absolutely HAVE to go, and need to use a urinal right next to somebody, then the following rule becomes extra important.

Avoid eye contact, and no talking.

You look straight ahead as much as possible. If you DO look at another lad when they walk in, be careful where your eyes aim. Don’t check out their trainers, your eyes must not go low. And keep quiet. Don’t be that bell end that talks in there. Announcing your entrance with a **** joke like “Wooo! So THIS is where all the ***** hang out!” will not make you popular.

 

Do you wash your hands?

Yes, if somebody else is in there. Otherwise, only if you’ve got wee on them. Don’t pretend you wash them every time, you don’t and that’s okay.

Don’t whistle or sing.

You’re not at home. Whistling is annoying as ****. And CERTAINLY don’t if you are in the cubicle having a poo. That is just extra weird.

Don’t text at the urinal.

You don’t want to get wee on your phone. And it’s also sod’s law that you’ll drop it. Plus it’s kind of weird to text your mates while touching your knob. This rule does not apply in a cubicle though. Using your phone while having a poo is absolutely essential.

Don’t unzip until you’re stood at the urinal.

This should be obvious, but wait until you’re at the urinal to get your tool out. Any earlier is just odd. Similarly, put it away before you turn around. It is optional, but preferred if you can sort your flies and belt out before you turn around. But definitely no willy in the open area of the bogs. Absolutely never.

Use the mirror sparingly.

You’re not a girl. You don’t have time for it. A quick glance to check that your hair doesn’t look like a burst sofa is fine. But don’t spend ages in there styling it, you will look like a muppet. Don’t check out your gym progress, and definitely don’t pop spots in there either. It’s grim.

 

There are some other things to remember that don’t require any explanations…

The phone number that is given on the back of the cubicle door offering BJs, probably isn’t an attractive woman. Or a woman at all.

If you enter a cubicle and it’s unflushed and full, leave it that way and use a different cubicle.

If you MUST spit a big greeny, make sure it’s in the urinal, not on the wall. Don’t be that guy.

Always check there is toilet roll before you sit down. It’s not like you can shout your housemate from downstairs.

DON’T SPLASH YOUR OWN OR ANYONE ELSE’S TRAINERS.

Don’t try to make friends with everyone in there. In and out. Let the girls spend half their night in the toilets talking to strangers.

40 minutes ago, ramsbottom said:

B******s online grocery shopping.  The missus has done it a couple of times and each time we were lucky to get half of the stuff we asked for.  Fair enough if stuffs not there but if I were at the shelves I'd never have picked half the stuff they sent instead.  Plus we got tired of them sticking a tin of beans and a tube of toothpaste in one bag...

We use Sainsburys and Ocado & have found them both to be pretty good, to be honest. Sainsburys you can stop them from sending any substitutes if you want. Not sure if you can do that with Ocado but they email you well in advance to tell you if something's not available.

We pretty much get everything online now except for some types of fruit.

Men in the gym changing rooms who are a bit too uninhibited.

I'm no prude but sometimes I swear it feels like I'm an extra in some soft flick.

30 minutes ago, Muskination said:

Those who pull up at the pumps when they're going in to buy a loaf of bread or something.

**** off out of the way. How about you park in that space 10 metres away there?

I did just that once and got bollocked by the person in the shop for "driving off without paying".

I'm happily married, early 40's & certainly no Brad Pitt but do try & look after myself.

I've never cheated and never will but I have to admit it does give me a spring in my step when I get checked out at the gym or out & about.

14 hours ago, Phoenix said:

Leicestershire County Council (tho' I expect others are similar).

Clearing the garage out I decided to get rid of various old tins of paint, in various states of decay. I go to the local General Household Recycling Facility (Tip) to be told ' you can't dump that here, you need to go to Enderby'. Googling the map I find it's actually in Whetstone, so I look on the LCC website for recycling facility information

Yes, out of all the recycling facilities, Enderby (Whetstone) is the only one to take paint. Okay, it's not too far.

BUT.

You need a licence. It's free but only lasts for a few days, and you have to register with LCC. I register,and have to tell them make & model of car, plus registration number, any distinctive markings, am I the sole driver.

Is it my waste, did it come from my house, was the waste generated by my self or a paid person, is the waste generated by myself the result of a paid job. Yes,yes,me,no.

What sort of waste is it? Dropdown list. I select paint etc.

What sort of paint, emulsion, spirit based, turps, adhesive? How many cans, tins, bottles of each? Slight glitch here, because if I accidentally click 'add another', there's no get out. You have to cancel the whole lot and start again. Never mind, I'm retired and can afford the time.

Submit. I get a message telling me that they will e-mail me login details. I go to my e-mails. There's one telling me I have submitted my details (encouraging) and they will e-mail login details (not so encouraging). I wait. And wait. Several minutes. Then I get an email giving me a password (there was a capital 'I' in it. Or is it a '1'?) I log in, although I don't have a User Name. I guessed (correctly) it was my e-mail address.

It takes me to a screen where I have to change my password before I can progress. (It was an 'I'). I am then given a list of options for receiving my paint-dumping permit, including collection from County Hall (aka the Leicestershire Hilton, and has 18 receptionists, honestly), several libraries, or by post. I choose my local library for speed.

It's Wednesday, but I find that Enderby (Whetstone) tip is closed Wednesday so I plan for Thursday,a quick shopping trip into Hinckley, pick up the permit, drive to Enderby (Whetstone), call in by Topps Tiles (Enderby), home. Bingo.

It's Thursday. The wife has decided what she wants from Hinckley, and also which tiles to pick up, so I carefully load all the paint into the boot of the car, and off we go to Hinckley Public Library. F***ing SHUT.. On a Thursday. I suppose Brexit is to blame. It is for most things.

LCC must be the most overpaid, mindless, cretinous bunch of incompetents in Britain. At least, they are Politically Correct overpaid, mindless, cretinous incompetents.

I now have to waste part of Friday, earmarked for other things, to dump the f***ing stuff. Am I p1ssed off? Is the Pope Catholic?

 

What's wrong with dumping them at the side of the road like a normal person?

13 minutes ago, Tony Le Mesmer said:

Not sure if anyone has covered this before but 'chuggers' and people claiming to represent a business or charity virtually accosting you as you go about your merry way.

 

 

 

Ordinary working people/families.

I mean the phrase, rather than the people. You hear it all the time. To me it just sounds patronising that politicians make out they empathise with the stresses and problems of their voters by calling them "ordinary".

After the Dark

At an international school in Jakarta, a philosophy teacher challenges his class of twenty graduating seniors to choose which ten of them would take shelter underground and reboot the human race in the event of a nuclear apocalypse.

The film starts off very good & examines a few interesting moral dilemmas in the fictional situation the students experience. The same scenario is replayed with different choices made, based on new information presented each time. It's interesting in that once the situation/role play starts, it is presented to the viewer as a proper story, so you see the twists unfold and get to find out how & why the right & wrong people were chosen to enter the bunker.

The problem with the film is that half way through, it loses it's nerve (or the writer ran out of good ideas, more likely) and in order to keep the story going and crank up the drama, it starts to break it's own rules. The last third of the film ends up an incoherent mess, as a result and the ending is just stupid.

5/10 (First half: 7/10, Second half: 3/10)

17 minutes ago, Tony Le Mesmer said:

Also there are some herbal supplements you can take for lifting mood. St Johns Wort is excellent so i'm told but not if you are on any other medication though. It interacts with some anti depressants and other similar types of medications but if you aren't taking owt then should be fine.

Wow I was literally now going to ask if anyone had experience of the effectiveness of St John's Wort.

I am certainly not claiming to be depressed but over the last few weeks I have been experiencing occasional days of low mood. Sometimes I don't realise it until the next day when I wake up fine and other times I know I'm being a miserable bar steward but can't seem to do anything about it. Then I get angry with myself for not being able to snap out of it. I haven't experienced it before - it's like it feels like I'm under a blanket or something & I'm trying and failing to lift it off me.

Mrs Wolfie has suggested taking SJW but I have no experience of it. I was once on anti-anxiety medication 10 years or so ago but don't really like popping pills. I weaned myself off that medication as soon as I felt I was able to and am wary of taking anything I might become dependent on.

I'd be grateful for any feedback on SJW or other herbal stuff.

7 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

you're more likely to buy an inbred "breed" than an inbred mongrel rescue dog and similarly, more likely to find genetic brain issues in a 'breed'.

Not from where I'm likely to get mine from. I know the breeders and what their procedures are.

6 minutes ago, Anon said:

You won't find a pedigrees in a shelter, so it is unlikely the dogs there will be inbred. I understand about shedding for people with allergies, but otherwise I'd like to highlight a brilliant invention that has just been released.

It's pretty high tech so it might cost a bit.

OK, so now you've got a brush covered in fur and you've just released a load of allergens into the air whilst using it.

1 hour ago, Ewe Ram said:

Designer dogs. Cockerpoo, Labradoodle type things. I'm the kind of person that can't understand people travelling the width of the country to spend £800 on a pooch when there's so many in rescue centres. Dogs aren't ornaments and I'm sure they were once called mongrels. 

The point of the Poodle crosses, though is that they don't shed their fur as much (and when they do, it's hypoallergenic) and have a great temperament.

If I was buying a dog (which I hope to at some point), I would probably opt for one of these as opposed to choosing one from a shelter who's probably inbred and mis-treated and could flip at any point and rip my daughter's throat out.

Men's voices on satnavs. It just seems so much more natural to be constantly told what to do by a woman.

58 minutes ago, WhiteHorseRam said:

I see what you're saying there @Phoenix , but I think it would be better if you go for the low hanging fruit ... how about if you run these ideas up the flag pole and see who salutes?

Maybe we should take your ideas 'offline' and discuss them after the meeting? maybe I could diarise a meet-up.

And remember, there is no 'I' in T.E.A.M. (together everyone achieves more), so lets keep it real.

Oh, hold on, my Outlook calendar has just reminded me its time for my morning plop .....

We appear to be singing from the same hymn sheet. Definite synergy there.

Pacific Rim.

I avoided this up to now, despite being a big fan of Guillermo Del Toro's films. Seeing as it's about massive robots punching massive monsters, It just looked like it was going to be another dire Michael Bay effort. Finally got round to catching it last week, while the Mrs was out.

I liked it. 7/10

Yes, it's stupid, loud & everything turned up to 11 but at least it was fun at the same time. Michael Bay stuff is not.

 

4 hours ago, Tony Le Mesmer said:

Autobiographies by complete nobodies. Joey Barton has one out. Quite why anyone would be the slightest bit interested in his self absorbed life story is beyond me.

IMO anyone well respected and humble enough to not tell their life story for money will remain so.

I will one day write my own life story but just for the benefit of my family. I have no urge for anyone else to know and quite frankly i'd be perturbed if they'd want to know. I would do the same if I was in the public eye.

Added to that autobiographies that are written on behalf of someone such as a ghost writer. These stories automatically lose their credibility as the editor / writer can advise the 'star' about what is good to put it, what is not, what can be embellished and so on and so forth. Anyone who wants an autobiography of themselves should write it themselves with no outside interference and everything that the person truly wants to reveal will be revealed.

Lastly, autobiographies of 'stars' that have just been born. Ok so not quite that but people who have been in the limelight for 5 minutes and haven't yet reached puberty and they get one whipped out for Christmas. Dear God. Worse than these are those who fund this self obsessed hobby of the rich and not so famous by buying such cretinous books.

and on that bombshell.....................................

I do agree (and I have never read an autobiography) but surely the problem is the stupid people who buy the trashy ones you refer to. No buyers = no market. They'd soon stop if some people just got a life. 

5 hours ago, StivePesley said:

Talking of hotels - that weird strip of useless material that they always insist on putting over the end of the bed, and you just have to take it off and chuck it on the floor.

 

I mean - it doesn't annoy me as such - I just don't understand it

Isn't that because people sit & drop bags on the end of the bed - and presumably then complain about dirty bedding?!.

On a related note: What is it with women and putting bloody cushions on the bed? Drives me insane at home. 

29 minutes ago, Ewe Ram said:

When you are listening to someone talk on the radio and you can hear that sloppy click clack of saliva as they talk 

I've noticed that listening to 5Live since I've had a car with DAB instead of crappy AM. You can pretty much hear their nose hair rustling now.

9 minutes ago, Anon said:

I find that, in the same way that toast always lands butter side down, I will always open a pack of tablets at the end where all the paperwork is.

Every ******* time!!

51 minutes ago, Tony Le Mesmer said:

 "Oh it was like Mary went into the shop and like bought some haribo and like got her purse out and like defecated on the floor...."

Happens to me all the time. You should have seen the looks I got in Waitrose. One woman dropped her Daily Mail in shock.

When people say "revert back"

It's just revert. Adding the back means that you've reverted twice.

Me Before You

Film about a grumpy quadroplegic guy, befriended by a kooky new young carer and who both may or may not fall for each other.

I like romcoms. I do. 4 weddings, Love actually and the first Bridget Jones film are some of my favourite guilty pleasures. This one, though, is the chickiest chick flick you are ever going to see.

It's just crammed full of every English upper middle class and plucky working class steretype and cliche you could ever imagine, presumably for US audiences. Yes, even more so than 4 weddings. Everyone is impossibly good looking. He comes from a very rich family living next to a castle (as we English all do) and she comes from the cliche'd happy working class family - her sister being Jenna Coleman (Dr Who companion) who for some reason seems much posher than the rest of them. It's just a bit vomit inducing with bugger all chemistry between any of the characters. It looks like none of them met each other before the first day of filming.

What miniscule bit of realism there is in the film was, for me, ruined by having an able bodied and very physically fit actor playing the role. Would someone who hadn't moved their body below their neck for 2 years really have a 6-pack?. There must be good disabled actors (or real people) who could put in a decent stereotypical grumpy disabled person (Oh, I'm disabled therefore must be miserable) performance. Or maybe they did try and no self-respecting disabled actor wanted to be within a mile of this trash.

I can't believe I heard good reviews of this a few months ago when it hit the cinema & I hope the book was better than this vomit inducing tosh.

2/10, and that's only because I like Charles Dance - just not in this film.

 

1 hour ago, Wolfie20 said:

Sorry if this gripe has already been made. Driving along a dual carriageway and a truck in front pulled out to overtake another lorry then took between 2 and 3 miles to complete the manoeuvre. At that rate he was probably travelling at 1mph faster - idiots like that need ducking in the nearest pond (for a minimum of 10 minutes)

I regularly have this argument with my brother (a lorry driver). of course with me being a BMW driver, he was naturally full of sympathy for my plight.

I get it that lorries are limited to 56mph and so can't vary their speed much upwards but surely all it would take is for the lorry being overtaken to ease off 2mph or so, just for the time it takes to to let them past.

21 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

odd that isn't it?

This annoyed me, in similar vein; I organised a lads weekend, one of those Butlins 80s weekenders. Everyone paid their deposit, and I booked, then one lad pulled out saying he couldn't go cos it was his lad's birthday, and his lad still gives him grief for missing a birthday a couple of years ago to be with the boys in Blackpool. Fair-dos. I managed to get another lad to go in his place, went through the farce of changing the booking etc and giving him his deposit back. Then, 6 months later, this weekend, another lad pulled out due to a clash in arrangements, except he's already paid in full and is fully aware he's lost his full money. Guess what? Mr "I can't go, it's my lad's birthday" has piped up and volunteered to take the place of the lad who has paid in full.

Are you saying he didn't reimburse the other guy for the trip?. If so, that's appalling & I wouldn't have let him on the trip.