Bucket List

[Mucker1884]

I'm a simple soul (shut it! 🙄), and have never lived a life full of wants, aspirations, and ambition, if I'm honest.

 

I think I've done all the "daredevil" stuff I'm up for.
Namely a hot air balloon ride, and a zip wire from the very back row of the SW Upper corner, over the pitch, and down to the lower NE corner ("Disabled platform") at PPS (T'was for charidee, so I don't like to talk about it!)

Fast cars don't interest me.  Loose women don't notice me.

I'd probably be up for one of those trailing para-gliding things off the back of a speed boat... if pushed... but you can shove a proper parachute/sky-dive where the sun ain't never gonna shine! 😲

 

As you know, I'm naturally funny (shut it! v2.0 🙄) but I'd never have the ballster do what @i-Ram is doing tomorrow night.  (I'm hoping we all get to see a vid of it, come Wednesday!)

My travels/expeditions are basic and simple, latterly consisting of tents, bikes (with safety helmet!), and mainland Europe.

My sporting dreams died along with the ripping down of The BBG.

I've made love to as many women as I'm ever likely to now (So I can save the fingers of my other hand to do other stuff!) 

I've achieved runner up status in a bare knuckle fist fight (and we both got the cane the next morning, in the headmaster's office), and have experienced a full 3 minutes of "Green Street" shenanigans, with a police record to go with it.

I have played the lead role in the Nativity, which went down well... apart from Mary puking her guts up all over me on opening night!  

I've got two sons to be proud of, a cracking wife (The second one... not so much with the first one!), and I truly look forward to a continued slow but steady plod to the finish li...  

 

[May Contain Nuts]

1. Win the lottery, anything north of £7m but the more the better.

2. Write a bucket list, because I sure as s*** can't afford to do anything remotely interesting without first achieving step 1 as I have neither the brain power, creative talent, charisma, looks, health or physcial acumen to get over any hurdle that not having a s*** load of money presents.

3. Find a way to live forever (or at least vastly slow my ageing process down), so I don't even have to bother with a bucket list.

Edited October 14 by May Contain Nuts

[Mucker1884]

12 minutes ago, May Contain Nuts said:

1. Win the lottery, anything north of £7m but the more the better.

 

I honestly don't think I could come up with a list that would interest me, whilst costing me £7m to achieve!

On the rare occasion I have had such dreams, I've always thought "Half a mill would do.  A full one would be great, so I could treat the kids without them having to wait for my Will to kick in"!

 

I've always considered these multi-million wins to be excessive... and some of the bigger Euro ones obscene!  I'd much rather see 120 x £1million winners than someone (including me!) pocketing the lot!

 

*That's not to say either of us is "wrong".  I'm all for us being different!  🍻

 

 

PS:  🤞

[Ram-Alf]

I guess there's one thing I'd like, To live a loooooong and healthy life, I've lived longer than my Dad...he passed at 67 years of age, Mum(Covid)at 92 so I hope and think I have her Genes☺️

To go alongside @Mucker1884s comments, I've been to Niagara Falls(several times)just a sh!t load of water going over a cliff☺️, I've flown over the Rocky Mountains, I refused to go up the CN Tower and sit on the glass walkway, I went up the Vienna post Office Tower and came down very quickly(a fast elevator)and sat in the bar down stairs, I shat myself in Madeira on their cable car(ex wanted to go)I screamed when going on a roller coaster at Alton towers, And again when the aeroplane I was on hit an air pocket and fell a couple of hundred feet...yes I'm scared of heights 😵‍💫   

Got detention in NSC and came out with a sh!tty attitude which stayed with me for decades, I've been stopped at Amsterdam airport and searched for drugs(had non never used them either)got stopped by security and nearly missed our flight at Luton when going to Salzburg(England playing in Vienna)Had a gun pulled on us in Oostende by the Belgium police in the 80s and we did as we were told 😬

I've scored a goal when I was the goalkeeper from a long kick...in Belgium for a Belgium team 😁Got scammed in Tavira Portugal(well they tried)we ordered a meal, They brought a starter that we never ordered waitress said it goes with the meal, Got the bill and the starter was on the bill, We kicked off, Bar owner threatened us with the police and prison...call the fu**ers then...then we sat and waited, We told other tourists while we waited not to accept the starters, Bar owner tells us to leave...asshole.

Just a sample(small)of a life I've enjoyed and still enjoy @May Contain Nuts money is a good tool to help you a long the way, I've been skint, I've gone to bed hungry and as the old saying goes..."money is the root of all evil" but it helps 😉       

[Mucker1884]

4 hours ago, Ram-Alf said:

... I've been stopped at Amsterdam airport and searched for drugs(had non never used them either)got stopped by security and nearly missed our flight at Luton...

 

 

Ha!

They pulled me out at EMA, by the xrays... Was the January before covid, so I was very late 50's...  Not a word spoken by me up to this point,  and no alarms going off relating to me or my stuff. 
All I got was a short, sharp "Come with us please sir"... Belt, shoes, passport, wallet etc still in the tray on the conveyor, at the mercy of anyone who fancied a quick dip.  Muckerette wondering WTF, closely followed by panic, whilst trying to juggle 2 full trays, a pair of boots, and a coat, all within the general hubbub of airport security, and the pushin' and shovin' that goes on!  Not having a clue where they had taken me, or why, or how long I'd be gone!

... no banter... no professional courtesy... no explanation... fuckall!  🤬  
Into a side cubicle off the main room, behind nothing more than a "changing room curtain", and asked to drop my trousers for a search!  I immediately thought "If they put gloves on, I'm either out of here, or I'm gonna poo on yer!  Luckily they didn't.  Phew!
 was in and out in just a few minutes, with no explanation, no apology.  Not even a "It's just a random/routine check sir".  Nothing!  🤬

For those few short minutes, I don't think either me or Muckerette have ever been so scared, or wondered whether we'd even see each other ever again!  b*******!  🤬  

[Ram-Alf]

8 minutes ago, Mucker1884 said:

 

Ha!

They pulled me out at EMA, by the xrays... Was the January before covid, so I was very late 50's...  Not a word spoken by me up to this point,  and no alarms going off relating to me or my stuff. 
All I got was a short, sharp "Come with us please sir"... Belt, shoes, passport, wallet etc still in the tray on the conveyor, at the mercy of anyone who fancied a quick dip.  Muckerette wondering WTF, closely followed by panic, whilst trying to juggle 2 full trays, a pair of boots, and a coat, all within the general hubbub of airport security, and the pushin' and shovin' that goes on!  Not having a clue where they had taken me, or why, or how long I'd be gone!

... no banter... no professional courtesy... no explanation... fuckall!  🤬  
Into a side cubicle off the main room, behind nothing more than a "changing room curtain", and asked to drop my trousers for a search!  I immediately thought "If they put gloves on, I'm either out of here, or I'm gonna poo on yer!  Luckily they didn't.  Phew!
 was in and out in just a few minutes, with no explanation, no apology.  Not even a "It's just a random/routine check sir".  Nothing!  🤬

For those few short minutes, I don't think either me or Muckerette have ever been so scared, or wondered whether we'd even see each other ever again!  b*******!  🤬  

You are... ☺️

[FindernRam]

For reasons I don't want to explain I recently bought 10 buckets in B&Q for a quid each. The nice checkout girl looked at me and sort of raised her eyebrows. 

I said " That's 10 items off my bucket list!"

She didn't have a clue but the bloke behind choked up laughing.

[Ram-Alf]

3 minutes ago, FindernRam said:

For reasons I don't want to explain I recently bought 10 buckets in B&Q for a quid each. The nice checkout girl looked at me and sort of raised her eyebrows. 

I said " That's 10 items off my bucket list!"

She didn't have a clue but the bloke behind choked up laughing.

Sperm Doner? 

[cstand]

On 13/10/2024 at 09:39, i-Ram said:

I saw @Wolfie’s post this week, and I thought I would widen the subject. I am now in my early 60’s - not a lot of time left guys - and I have started putting into action doing things that I have always thought I should have a go at before I slip this mortal coil. I don’t mean go places, I mean do things. Whether that might be a bungee jump, a sky dive, swimming with Dolphins, or climbing Kilimanjaro. What things must you do before you die!

To start the thread going, the first two things on my list are 1) perform live stand-up comedy and 2) get a song or two of mine played on Spotify.  My first 5 minutes of stand-up is Tuesday, and I can’t wait - irrespective if it is a roaring success or a total failure. Better to die having tried rather than wondered. I have lyrics for a couple of songs too, and in the next 6 months I will do a bit of work with my son and one of his mates who are musically talented to get a couple of promo tracks established.

Look forward to reading about your ‘must do’ dreams.

I am also early sixties you are absolutely right do it now before it’s too late. 

Just got home after repairing my daughter’s car, wife gone for a bath so decided to watch the big TV in the living room.
Guess what she has recorded? 😳
 

Edited October 14 by cstand

[Reggie Greenwood]

Off to see one of my all times favs at Brum Wednesday night. Alice Cooper supported by Primal Scream. Somehow always missed Alice over the years finally got it sorted 

[Ram-Alf]

25 minutes ago, Reggie Greenwood said:

Off to see one of my all times favs at Brum Wednesday night. Alice Cooper supported by Primal Scream. Somehow always missed Alice over the years finally got it sorted 

😁

[KaiserBillsBatman]

57 minutes ago, Reggie Greenwood said:

Off to see one of my all times favs at Brum Wednesday night. Alice Cooper supported by Primal Scream. Somehow always missed Alice over the years finally got it sorted 

Enjoy that - never on my bucket list but I hope its a cracker, and unlike most American rockers of his era he seems like a nice bloke so glad he's still 'at it'

[McArthur Park]

Climb as many Wainwrights as possible! We've left it a bit late so not going to get that many done,  but we'll enjoy doing what we can, whilst we're still able to!

[FindernRam]

13 hours ago, Ram-Alf said:

Sperm Doner? 

She should be so lucky!

[JuanFloEvraTheCocu'sNesta]

On my list is doing an England test match in the West Indies. Can't think of anything better.

[Bob The Badger]

On 13/10/2024 at 13:07, i-Ram said:

I love Mick Miller @Ram-Alf but my heroes are Stewart Lee and Frank Skinner. I love the construction of Lee’s material and the sexual innuendo and lads banter of Skinner. 

Anyway any other bucket list desires out there?

Literally, the funniest set I have ever seen live was Skinner in 1997.

Incredibly crude but hysterical, and at least 1/3rd of more of the set had been written that day because it was about English nanny Louise Woodward and her trial in the US that was ongoing.

I saw him again on his last tour a couple of years ago, and boy, had he mellowed. Still very good though.

I saw Stewart Lee perform back-to-back sets last year, and he was fabulous, but Mrs Badger didn't like him.

Pressure is on you now, though. I will be literally examining every post for mirth, and if I don't see any, I will be muttering 'calls himself a comic'

[Hans Datdo-Dishes]

17 hours ago, Ram-Alf said:

Sperm Doner? 

No thanks, I'll stick with lamb thanks.

[MaltRam]

How we all laughed when i-ram said he wanted to do stand up.

Well no-one's laughing now.

 

 

With apologies to Bob Monkhouse.

[MaltRam]

Ashes tour with the barmy army.

Spend a week on my own in a cabin on red wine, cocaine and cannabis.

Take a camper van around the UK for a year.

Enter some home grown veg in a show and win a prize.

Paint the lead figure Warhammer army I never finished as a kid.

Learn enough Spanish to have a proper conversation.

Scuba dive.

Read all my book backlog.

Lose a stone in weight.

Go teetotal for a year.

Eat sushi in Tokyo.

Sail a boat.

Narrowboat the longest distance navigable in the UK.

Learn to identify all native birds and trees.

 

....I wcould go on forever. Just need to retire.

 

 

[Turk Thrust]

Here’s my bucket list

pail

scuttle

pitcher

vessel

 

 

I’ll get me coat