Depression, anxiety, stress and other related issues

[LesterRam]

yes, it sounds like a too familiar problem mate, over thinking is a major problem and with life zipping by at 100mph I believe we are losing out on things that should be our priority, spending time with your girlfriend and family and going on holiday and just relaxing, forget the business, leave your phone at home and just chill and reflect.

someone I was talking to at the school gates a few month ago decided that he wasn't happy with life and went to Malawi, he helped out at an orphanage and lived a real basic existence, he didn't contact anyone for three months and came back a new man, he lost a few stone, he was more motivated and less depressed than at any other point of his life.

the tips I would give is this:

1.always leave your business at the doors of your business, never bring it home and don't even think about it, 9-5 is business time, not before or after.

2. always structure your day, get up at a set time and go to bed at a set time.

3. always take care with your appearance and never let things slip, your running a business, shape up.

4. boredom is a killer, when you get work in the morning work out your tasks for the day and write it down, try and work through it and if not delegate to others to complete it.

5.walk, yep its a utopian ideology, go and take a lovely long walk and enjoy this country we are fortunate to have.

6. change what you have been doing and set a new path, something is clearly not right and unfortunately depression can do some serious damage to your health and ultimately put you in a tailspin without a return ticket.

7. go to America and stay a bit longer, it is probably not the country you think it is (especially under the Trumpmeister lol)

8. go and have a ******* laugh you miserable ****, laughter is the best tonic and you cant buy it.

 

[ketteringram]

@RamsPolls

Have you read our thread?? 

[RamsPolls]

15 minutes ago, ketteringram said:

@RamsPolls

Have you read our thread?? 

No mate. What's the link.

[Boycie]

3 minutes ago, RamsPolls said:

No mate. What's the link.

I've merged it.

 

[JuanFloEvraTheCocu'sNesta]

4 minutes ago, RamsPolls said:

No mate. What's the link.

I think one of the admins has dropped your comments in here mate.

[Boycie]

15 minutes ago, JuanFloEvraTheCocu'sNesta said:

I think one of the admins has dropped your comments in here mate.

Super mod

[Rev]

3 hours ago, RamsPolls said:

Hi Guys - @RamsPolls here

The past couple of months, I haven't really been myself. Obviously no one on here knows me in person, But I feel like a lot of you get my personality. I have been dealing with depression. I used to be someone who had a great outlook on life and thought I could conquer the world. Like most of you know, I own my own business inherited from my old man, and no matter what I do, I just feel down about myself constantly. I have a girlfriend who I love to pieces but I can't even talk to her about this. 

I just feel like I'm never going to be good enough for life. A dream of mine to move to america and make something of myself. But I feel like my depression has come due to me being tied down to Derby because of my business and family. Everyday I wake up and have no motivation to do anything, always feeling like I'm not good enough for anyone or anything. 

Yesterday I have a big breakdown, just sat watching not so super Sunday on Sky Sports and I just was thinking about my life and how scared I am about just plodding along with life and not fulfilling my interests.

I have these odds spells in the day when I have a strong feeling in my chest when I over think things and honestly just sit there and think I'm about to burst into tears. Then I think about how my life will go and it just makes my chest pains worse. I've been to the doctors with this and they said I have mild depression but never actually gave my anything to sort it.

I know I shouldn't be moaning about my position in life as I am much more fortunate than most people I know, but I just keep having these situations every single day and it's becoming worse.

If anyone has any tips on how to improve my situation?

Sorry if this is a bit boring. I understand if no one replies lol.

Do you feel you've had it too easy maybe, and don't deserve the success you've had so far?

If so, you're wrong, after all you wouldn't be in this situation unless others felt you were more than capable.

You sound like you're in a rut of routine, doing the same things every day which at any age soon wears you down.

Do you run the business in exactly the way your dad did?

If so, you'll not challenge and stretch yourself, are there areas you'd wish to change, if so look into changing things.

You say you've been blessed, and have nothing to moan about, but it's a heavy burden to be responsible for other people's employment at your age.

One easy thing I've used to cope with routine, choose a different way to work and home every day, you'd be amazed the difference it makes seeing different things on your everyday journey!

Hope things turn for you soon.

[ketteringram]

@Alex W 

Thanks for the reply! To be honest, it's not something I think about much these days. I've just come to accept that it's how I am. It doesn't bother me, but I'm very aware that it seems very odd to people. 

Work and home are a long way apart. I've lived at current address for about six years, and I actually don't know anybody there. I'm away at work all week, where obviously, I work with other people. Work has never been a problem. Social is the problem.  I guess in order to fix it, something like evening classes or similar would be the way to go. Being a non drinker doesn't help. But maybe an evening course would work, where at the start, no one knows each other. All in the same boat so to speak. 

It's been so long though, that it seems a strange concept to socialise at all. Maybe I'll just leave it until I'm in the care home!

[Tombo]

What the **** is wrong with the world that we live in that it does this to so many of us? Are any of us truly happy? Christ sakes...

I know it's brain chemistry, I know it's not as simple as life is ****, but what are we all doing wrong fundamentally that puts us like this? I just can't accept that this mental health crisis is just the way things are. There must be something we can change.

Is it our diets? Lack of sunlight? Technology? Aliens with a depression ray?

There's more of us than you think, and it's bittersweet to think that. On one hand, we're not alone. On the other hand, how and why is it this way?

P.S. Politely, don't ask me to share my story, because I haven't got one. I'm just miserable as **** and everything is useless and pointless, same as the rest of you. I'm just looking to see if anyone knows what the **** is happening? Seriously? Why are we all ****** up?

[PistoldPete2]

55 minutes ago, Tombo said:

What the **** is wrong with the world that we live in that it does this to so many of us? Are any of us truly happy? Christ sakes...

I know it's brain chemistry, I know it's not as simple as life is ****, but what are we all doing wrong fundamentally that puts us like this? I just can't accept that this mental health crisis is just the way things are. There must be something we can change.

Is it our diets? Lack of sunlight? Technology? Aliens with a depression ray?

There's more of us than you think, and it's bittersweet to think that. On one hand, we're not alone. On the other hand, how and why is it this way?

P.S. Politely, don't ask me to share my story, because I haven't got one. I'm just miserable as **** and everything is useless and pointless, same as the rest of you. I'm just looking to see if anyone knows what the **** is happening? Seriously? Why are we all ****** up?

I think tech and the Internet has a lot to do with it.... Probably not a coincidence so many on this forum are affected as we are all a bit geeky maybe saddos. 

Climate and your environment , economic factors also a factor. 

I wasnt aware of kids at school who were bulimic, self harming or any of that stuff. So why is it so prevalent now?something has changed in a generation or two. 

[Boycie]

Internet causes most problems nowadays.

[PistoldPete2]

5 hours ago, RamsPolls said:

Hi Guys - @RamsPolls here

The past couple of months, I haven't really been myself. Obviously no one on here knows me in person, But I feel like a lot of you get my personality. I have been dealing with depression. I used to be someone who had a great outlook on life and thought I could conquer the world. Like most of you know, I own my own business inherited from my old man, and no matter what I do, I just feel down about myself constantly. I have a girlfriend who I love to pieces but I can't even talk to her about this. 

I just feel like I'm never going to be good enough for life. A dream of mine to move to america and make something of myself. But I feel like my depression has come due to me being tied down to Derby because of my business and family. Everyday I wake up and have no motivation to do anything, always feeling like I'm not good enough for anyone or anything. 

Yesterday I have a big breakdown, just sat watching not so super Sunday on Sky Sports and I just was thinking about my life and how scared I am about just plodding along with life and not fulfilling my interests.

I have these odds spells in the day when I have a strong feeling in my chest when I over think things and honestly just sit there and think I'm about to burst into tears. Then I think about how my life will go and it just makes my chest pains worse. I've been to the doctors with this and they said I have mild depression but never actually gave my anything to sort it.

I know I shouldn't be moaning about my position in life as I am much more fortunate than most people I know, but I just keep having these situations every single day and it's becoming worse.

If anyone has any tips on how to improve my situation?

Sorry if this is a bit boring. I understand if no one replies lol.

Well I can understand you feeling down if you watch super Sunday. Maximum hype for minimum enjoyment, bound to be a let down. My tip , same as I've said before is to set yourself small goals each day. Wasting your Sunday afternoons watching football on sky probably isn't going to help with any of those targets. 

[PistoldPete2]

2 minutes ago, Boycie said:

Internet causes most problems nowadays.

Like what? Is really a bad thing? 

[Tombo]

14 minutes ago, Boycie said:

Internet causes most problems nowadays.

Internet what? Never heard of it mate...

[sage]

Maybe it has always been this prevalent and it just seems on the increase as there is greater awareness and openness. This is the case in child abuse, your child is no more at risk of being abducted than in the 60s, 70s or 80s, we just perceive a greater risk.

I would also suggest that we have higher expectations of our outcomes than in previous generations and the social and economic mobility has led to a more fractured and isolated society where our place of study, work and extended family were likely to be geographically near,

I was in the barbers the other day and an old lady was in with her grandson. She was telling me how much she saw of him as he lived across the road. She told me how her son was soon moving the family 10-12 miles away to get a bigger house, but for a car-less Gran it was 2-3 buses away and you see the sadness in both of them.

What a fractured web we weave when we try too hard to achieve.      

[sage]

45 minutes ago, sage said:

Maybe it has always been this prevalent and it just seems on the increase as there is greater awareness and openness. This is the case in child abuse, your child is no more at risk of being abducted than in the 60s, 70s or 80s, we just perceive a greater risk.

I would also suggest that we have higher expectations of our outcomes than in previous generations and the social and economic mobility has led to a more fractured and isolated society where our place of study, work and extended family as less likely to be as geographically near as our previous generations.

I was in the barbers the other day and an old lady was in with her grandson. She was telling me how much she saw of him as he lived across the road. She told me how her son was soon moving the family 10-12 miles away to get a bigger house, but for a car-less Gran it was 2-3 buses away and you see the sadness in both of them.

What a fractured web we weave when we try too hard to achieve.      

FTFM

[McRamFan]

1 hour ago, Boycie said:

Internet causes most problems nowadays.

Really, and you are a mod?

Only one competitor at your olympics.

[Parsnip]

Following on from @ketteringram's very good suggestion re. gluten...

I know people (as well as myself) who have been able to manage some of these modern human problems through a (less radical than it first sounds) diet change. 

Basically the idea is that we're all a bit messed up on sugar. Our bodies are designed to burn fat really - but these days we pump our bodies full of bread, pasta and other carbohydrates - which our bodies will burn instead of fat because it's easier.

Interestingly the only part of your body that actually needs carbohydrate to function is the brain. But there's plenty of carbohydrate in vegetables and if not then your body is perfectly capable of converting fat to carbohydrate before it sends it to work in your brain.

This forced overload of sugar can cause many of these 'tricky' problems that doctors struggle to deal with - joint aches, eczema, other inflammations - right up to mood and mental health. 

I personally feel my absolute happiest and fittest when i'm a few weeks off the carbs and running on fat.

If anyone does want to give it a try theres plenty of info online (its only a bit of biochemistry). Or just take a few simple steps such as cutting out all processed & starchy carbs (bread, pasta, potatoes), drink water!, eat plenty of meat and veg, get your omegas either by fish or supplements, maybe limit alcohol to a couple of drinks a week although it's more about getting your body used to burning fats again rather than quitting alcohol so if you do like to drink try and avoid beers and sugary drinks.

Oh, and if you think you will miss chips then fear not - there's a root vegetable that makes an excellent substitute (i eat tons of them!).

 

[Boycie]

18 minutes ago, McRamFan said:

Really, and you are a mod?

Only one competitor at your olympics.

what's me being a mod got to do with it?

[Boycie]

1 hour ago, PistoldPete2 said:

Like what? Is really a bad thing? 

Apparently it can lead to erectile dysfunction, which inturn causes depression.

so there you go.