ramit

Neighbors with a flag pole who don't bother to secure the pole lines properly after taking down the flag and i have to listen to tiss tiss tiss tiss as i am trying to get some shut eye.  The correct way is to wrap the two lines in opposite directions around the pole until tight and then fasten.  

2 hours ago, AmericanRam said:

Cleaning up/rearranging my garage. Erm...ways to go yet.

 

You don't mess about AR, looks like you've got a half used up 5 liter jug of Militec on the middle shelf and judging by the looks of the dog flap you have either never washed your dog or you poured half the jug over him

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

No, because it is a cake which has got vegetables in it.

i find carrot juice horrid, but carrot cake is lovely.  Give it a try Wolfie, you might just like it

 

Calling some public office or other and getting a recorded voice who after announcing that i have indeed called them inform me that this phone call may be recorded.  i just don't like that, it's a not so veiled threat.  If i am calling because of some irritation of mine of their services, i have on occasion let loose a string of profanities, ending with did you get all that?  By the time some nice calm voiced assistant takes my call i am all worked up and what was a small matter has now ballooned into the bane of my existence requiring instant resolution. 

i guess i am not the only one who reacts like that at times for some of the nice assistants have learned a diabolical response to it, the meaner i get, the nicer they are to me, leaving me with no outlet for my rage and soon the conversation is urgently requiring a mumbling apology on my part for being a brute and so deflated i accept wholeheartedly the unacceptable routine office mumbo jumbo explanation from said nice assistant.

Buying a movie on CD, slipping it in the player and the first thing i see is Unlawful Distribution Of This Product May Result In Prosecution.  i just bought that CD mofo's, it's mine and i'll chuck it out the window if i feel like it.

Have started playing Football Manager again, the 2012 one.  i don't like the layout on the newer ones, although i haven't tried the latest version, so don't know about that.  i stopped playing it because i couldn't stand having to use my reading glasses all the time, but silly me, the display is adjustable so now it's fine.  This really is a tremendous game, the best of the lot IMO and i've been playing them since early Championship Manager days.  i like to start with a lower league club, like Crewe or Telford, two clubs with good facilities.  Derby are next to impossible to start with, no money and half the playing squad with long term injuries, but after i've had my fill of Crewe i will give it another go.

A common mistake many players make is to click on continue from day one too soon, to be done correctly you need a couple of days of work at least before doing that, on account of the player search engine only finding some of the players available and if you don't find the best ones on the first day, some other club will have bid for them.  This means going through most of the leagues in Europe, checking out each and every player you can afford or will soon run out of contract.  It's tedious and frustrating but worth it.

Am curious, what name do you use as manager and what nationalities do you choose?  i seem to have the best luck with Kurt Schöneberg, he is a master tactician that German - Norwegian fellow.

10 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

I'll just leave this here..

 

This is six years old, but what has he done recently eh?

Last time i saw him he was useless and that's all i need to know to write him off completely

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, now we're even and i forgive you for your Birkir comment, fellow Ram

1 hour ago, Mostyn6 said:

I am genuinely annoyed by how someone said Wayne Rooney is past it or whatever and it seems that everyone has taken that as a fact. The way it seems he's being tossed aside is despicable to me.

 

Useless and can't kick a ball

Living in a right handed world is a right pain sometimes

Wife ordered me to dig the car out.  51cm? More like 80cm in this area.  That was a job alright, am bathed in perspiration.  It's good for you She exclaimed laughing.  No way am i going to the shop for popcorn like i was considering, someone will arrive and take my beautiful clean parking space and it's back to digging and i am not buying that line from Her that She is in dire need of cheese this instant.  She just wants to see me bent over with a red face again.

We got record snowfall for February in Reykjavík last night, 51cm.

Think i will stay in today

1 hour ago, Seth's left foot said:

Wasn't that from the Naked Gun film? 

Sort of.  In Naked Gun i believe the line was I am serious and stop calling me Shirley, so yeah i kinda stole that but then the writers of that flick didn't come up with it either Shirley.  Some very good puns in those films though

 

Can I be frank?  i tend to answer this question in one of two ways

No, that's alright, just keep lying

Okay, if i can be Shirley

Getting a Christmas song stuck in my head in mid February

45 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Amen to that. Hair on head rapidly migrating to nose, ears and back......

Right you are

i have to pluck my nose and shear my ears for goodness sake, it's embarrassing and what is the point of a dense forest growing on my shoulder?

My mother is frail, she had a double stroke a couple of years ago.  She spends Christmas eve with us and i drive her back and forth. 

When returning her home last Christmas, there was no parking space available in front of her house, so i stopped in the street to help her inside.  As i was helping her out of the car a driver comes down the street and immediately honks his horn for me to move my vehicle out of his way.  i indicate he wait just a few seconds with my open hand held up, but he's having none of that and honks some more and then steps out of his car demanding to know if i am a child or possibly retarded or just your average bung hole.  My instinct was to react with anger but circumstances required that i keep some poise and i am generally attempting to be a less hostile person, so i explained that i was helping my physically disabled mother to her home and that it was Christmas and inquired whether everything was alright with him.  Just fine he shouted and sat back in his car, slamming the door shut.  His wife sat stone faced beside him and they had a couple of kids in the back. 

i got mother to her door and ran back to move the car out of the street and then back to mother to see that she made it safely to her apartment.  Mother and i agreed that this fella was a real prize *****.  When walking back to our car, i see the guy come running from down the street towards me and i'm thinking, great now he's gonna wanna dance too, so i stand there waiting for whatever and before i can utter You Jerk, he's clasping my hand and apologizing for his uncouth behavior and yes that it's Christmas and no that he doesn't want to make any trouble.  i was so touched i hugged the beast and even considered kissing him on the cheek but decided that too brutal.

i can just see what happened in his car after our initial meeting.  Wife:  You go apologize to that nice man right now, followed by his full name.  Beastie: But he's got no right to stop in the street like that, i was in the right, can't you see that?  Wife:  It's Christmas brute and you won't be spending a second of it in my bed unless you get to it.  Deflated beastie:  Yes dear.

i should have kissed him

On 3.1.2017 at 22:02, RAMesses III said:

 

Am drunk enough to like this, i even played it twice

4 hours ago, LesterRam said:

European Island, Caribbean no Africa

Lets compromise

 

The grocery store routine annoys me a tad. At the checkout counter it's like filling out a survey. It's yes i want a bag, no i pay with cash and yes i want a receipt and then you get how many bags and do you have a store savings blabla card? and i don't know what else and i am going no i just wanna get out of here lady and the guy ahead of me is still putting away his four items and the couple behind me is getting restless and my crotch is itching and Donna Summer is discoing from the store speakers and the checkout girl is dreaming of Africa and my wife is giving me that warning look and i'm counting chickens and we're all in some kind of hell.

48 minutes ago, Mostyn6 said:

You'd be very very very surprised just how many people in the world would find resonance in this. 

Very well captured.

Thank you kindly Mostyn.  i wrote this a few months ago but only posted it on a poem site a few days ago because i was embarrassed about it, like it was self pity.  A member contacted me privately to tell me how much she could relate to the content.  Was sad for her that she could relate and at the same time relieved that i am not the only one, which of course was an absurd idea to nurture.   Yes, we tend to think we are so unique with our problems

i am better at talking about how i am feeling than writing about it, but if i do i make it into a poem

Some weeks, this is me

Bleak

i am so sad and i don't know why
something good has passed me by
and every thought within my head
is poisoned by a pitch black dread

i am so tired and i cannot sleep
my anguish is intense and deep
and thinking of it i have observed
something inside say it's deserved

i am so bewildered am feeling ill
i swear it's all against my will
i want to break free into the light
but feel too weak to put up a fight

i am so afraid that i will fail
to escape out of this awful jail
pray to God to give me strength
and help me go to any length

 

3 hours ago, jono said:

Very sensibly (or not !) and being an upstanding sort of bloke I did as the police advised and took them to the police station ( or "enquiry centre" as they now seem to be called.) .. I now learn that the 100 or so blue tablets are designed to help gentlemen with a problem in the nooky department and were worth a fiver each .. Which as you say would probably cover the boiler repair .. Dang it why am I so proper ! 

The boys down at the station remember their friends

 

Watching The Meaning Of Life for the fifth time and realizing just how insane they really were

Oh fishy fish

 

Things people say and terms used:

i live in the real world - The fact that we cannot prove anything is real aside from energy makes this a silly statement

Get a life - What or earth does that mean?

He has too much time on his hands - There's no such thing as too much time

There's no smoke without fire - True enough but only in the context of smoke and fire

Everybody knows that - So if you don't know it, that makes you a nobody

Foreign investment - A foreign company sets up shop locally and ships it's proceeds offshore.  Where's the investment?

The international community - The west and their subordinates, others don't count

Collateral damage - Just say it, it's dead and injured people

Conspiracy theorist - Implies all conspiracies are imaginary and so two folks using the term is an act of conspiracy

Take your medication - For all you know, this is me on my medication

Normal - Nope, not a single one of you

Kick the can down the road - (American origin) When it comes to money, the road becomes an ever steepening hill

You're going to love this - Why?  Because you say so?

Extremist - i'm okay with the term but seek exact info on the line between a moderate and an extremist

Hate speech - No silly, it's called free speech and you gotta accept the good with what you call the bad

Regime - It's a fine word and all but what constitutes a regime?

War crime - Blowing people to bits and shooting them to pulps is allowed, gassing them however is a crime

Infomercial - Stop it, it's a commercial

This program was brought to you by..- No, it wasn't, i paid the subscription

Free market - If it's so free, why is it controlled?

 

And this is just what's been bugging me today

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We're trying to sell our old Mazda 3.  The body is dented in two places and the heater is stuck at 27 degrees but other than that it's good to go and we had found a potential buyer and today he came to test drive and such.  We're not asking much for it and it was pretty much a done deal when our Mazda intervened and said heck no, i won't go.  When the key was removed from the ignition the whole dashboard flashed and when the door was opened an irritating rapid beep beep began sounding.  Turns out it's a tiny light bulb that's gone out in the glove compartment that has this effect and now i need to have it fixed because it's impossible to get to without tearing half the dashboard out of the car.  The chances of this bulb going out at the exact time that the buyer was reaching for his wallet tells me one thing very clearly, our Mazda is particular about who gets to drive it.  Now i have to find someone else and introduce that person nicely to our four wheeled dictator.  The car has served us well for eight years and i am fond of it, even admire it's considerable driving ability but this is becoming like the Chris Martin saga in reverse.  Let it go Mazda dear, we had a good thing but we are over, deal with it but yes okay, i will try and find someone worthy for you.