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WhiteHorseRam

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  1. Haha
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from Boycie in Farts, where do you stand?   
    "I must confess, Reverend Barlow, when Lady Mordaunt entered the drawing room I was most disconcerted and was unable to follow your delightful playing on the piano forte."
    "Why so Miss Clifford?"
    I fear Lady Morndaunt had dropped her skip and I was near gagging."
  2. Haha
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from StivePesley in Farts, where do you stand?   
    If you are only one that gags on that kind of top drawer bum quack, I am afraid you are really wasting your ammo.
    I went on a business trip to Barcelona with a great work mate of mine once.
    We are going down in the hotel lift and are going to jump straight in a taxi. Just before the button goes ping he lefts one go so bad I thought something had died.
    God knows what he had been eating - smelt like a waste food caddie kebab topped with five hard boiled eggs washed down with ten pints of real ale.
    As we step out smartly - I am still half CS-gassed and stumbling - as about five middle aged Spanish ladies barge in.
    I turn as the doors slowly close and the looks on their faces - frozen in horror.
    All day we just kept bursting out laughing.
  3. Cheers
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from i-Ram in Farts, where do you stand?   
    Really?
    I always had you down as a cultured educated type of bloke.
  4. Haha
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from Boycie in Farts, where do you stand?   
    "I must confess, Reverend Barlow, when Lady Mordaunt entered the drawing room I was most disconcerted and was unable to follow your delightful playing on the piano forte."
    "Why so Miss Clifford?"
    I fear Lady Morndaunt had dropped her skip and I was near gagging."
  5. Haha
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from Boycie in Farts, where do you stand?   
    "I must confess, Reverend Barlow, when Lady Mordaunt entered the drawing room I was most disconcerted and was unable to follow your delightful playing on the piano forte."
    "Why so Miss Clifford?"
    I fear Lady Morndaunt had dropped her skip and I was near gagging."
  6. Haha
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from Boycie in Farts, where do you stand?   
    "I must confess, Reverend Barlow, when Lady Mordaunt entered the drawing room I was most disconcerted and was unable to follow your delightful playing on the piano forte."
    "Why so Miss Clifford?"
    I fear Lady Morndaunt had dropped her skip and I was near gagging."
  7. Haha
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from Paul71 in Speeding   
    I've been worrying all day about whether to start a thread on favourite sandwiches.
    Don't think I'll bother now, could get too cheesy and then I'd be in a right pickle with the Mods. People will be hamming it up before you know it, while some posts would just be trying to butter them up. I don't want to get into a jam.
     
     
    I'll stop now.
  8. Like
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to BaaLocks in Farts, where do you stand?   
    Fart and Fartjudice?
  9. Haha
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to Boycie in Goodbye   
    As with any decent landlord, @David does a meat raffle on a Sat night, and has asked the Bandit company to rig the machine in his favour.
  10. Clap
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to BaaLocks in Farts, where do you stand?   
    Flying back from India once I managed to do such unearthly mischief in the section I was in that the air stewardess came through and sprayed us all with air freshener.
  11. Clap
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to BaaLocks in Farts, where do you stand?   
    There is a proverb in Iceland - 'every man likes the smell of his own farts'.
    You will use that one, I know, the next time someone at work is trying to convince you to do it their way.
  12. Like
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to Paul71 in Speeding   
    Agree. Maybe we can guess on what is next weeks topic to be banned. Im going for 'biscuits'. Nothing good can come from a discussion about Biscuits.
  13. Cheers
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from i-Ram in Farts, where do you stand?   
    Really?
    I always had you down as a cultured educated type of bloke.
  14. Cheers
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from i-Ram in Farts, where do you stand?   
    Really?
    I always had you down as a cultured educated type of bloke.
  15. Haha
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to i-Ram in Farts, where do you stand?   
    Am l the only one on here who doesn’t find farting amusing?  Just don’t get it.  I appreciate that it is at times a necessary bodily function, but the joy some get from the noise or the smell their farts makes strikes me as juvenile.  
  16. Clap
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from GboroRam in Death - Are you ready?   
    Apart from the 2007-2008 season where we died every Saturday.
  17. Clap
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to Gaspode in Goodbye   
    I really don't want to get into one of these pointless debates, but any chance you could give it a rest for once? By continually repeating your view with the conviction that you are right and anyone who disagrees is an idiot, you're exhibiting the very behaviour that prompted the new rules.
    David's forum, David's rules - if he's in danger of getting sued or else losing advertisers and so not able to keep the site going, he has every right to impose whatever regulations he wants - follow them and keep posting or else move on to somewhere that people will better appreciate your pearls of wisdom - but keep pushing your own agenda and you'll find this a lonely place as the rest of us follow Pete out of the door.....
  18. Like
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to Inverurie Ram in Goodbye   
    And if you don't fancy the pub, who's up for a club? Pink Flamingo anyone? Love, Life & Unity. C'mon sing up!
     
  19. Like
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from Wolfie in Goodbye   
    At the end of day, I have always viewed the pub as very much  @David 's boozer. He can bin topics if he wishes. 
    Many is the time I have looked at the political stuff in the pub and been quite shocked by the vitriol.
    A couple of times I have been surprised it hasn't gone viral on other platforms, and the whole site be shut down as it was brought into disrepute. I think I would have bricked it a few times if I had been a Mod.
    Some the best posts I have written in the pub I have never posted as I realized an argument was already down a  dead end, and so just deleted them.
    I think things started to get a bit stupid when people were pasting in links to other sites/material, rather than actually express themselves in text.  You wouldn't go for a chat in the pub and take print offs of some bloke's PhD, would you? (maybe you would 😀).
    Anyway, I hope no one leaves as that would be a real shame. Things will settle down I sure.
    Perhaps there are things we agree just not talk about.
  20. Like
    WhiteHorseRam got a reaction from Wolfie in Goodbye   
    At the end of day, I have always viewed the pub as very much  @David 's boozer. He can bin topics if he wishes. 
    Many is the time I have looked at the political stuff in the pub and been quite shocked by the vitriol.
    A couple of times I have been surprised it hasn't gone viral on other platforms, and the whole site be shut down as it was brought into disrepute. I think I would have bricked it a few times if I had been a Mod.
    Some the best posts I have written in the pub I have never posted as I realized an argument was already down a  dead end, and so just deleted them.
    I think things started to get a bit stupid when people were pasting in links to other sites/material, rather than actually express themselves in text.  You wouldn't go for a chat in the pub and take print offs of some bloke's PhD, would you? (maybe you would 😀).
    Anyway, I hope no one leaves as that would be a real shame. Things will settle down I sure.
    Perhaps there are things we agree just not talk about.
  21. Haha
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to David in Goodbye   
    Cor blimey, just had a horrible vision of myself. 

  22. Like
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to Ewe Ram in Farts, where do you stand?   
    The funniest fart story I have heard was from my brother who’s daughter (about 8 yeas old) farted in the lift whilst on holiday in France. A local man entered the lift, put his hand over his nose and said ‘sacre bleu’!!!
  23. Haha
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to sage in Farts, where do you stand?   
    Someone I know, ok it was me, was in an amusement arcade in Matlock Bath and knew their guts were in trouble, so nipped outside to discharge.
    A second after letting go, a woman was walking past and she stopped to check her shoes for dog muck.
     
     
  24. Clap
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to StivePesley in Farts, where do you stand?   
    A mate of mine once did a fart that he managed to eke out in the form of a ref's final whistle. Two short bursts and then one long one that tapers off. An impressive feat that I have tried many times to emulate but never managed it
    I did however once do a fart on an aeroplane that was so bad the couple in front of me changed their baby's nappy and then couldn't understand why it was empty. My proudest work of fart
  25. Clap
    WhiteHorseRam reacted to ariotofmyown in Cyclists.   
    I hate the drivers who go 45 in a 60, then remain at 45 as they go through a 30.
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