Kinder

I’m considering putting my testicles into a vice until they pop instead of watching it tonight.  Will give me much the same enjoyment!

A horse is in the pub having a few drinks when spots a donkey in the corner, so he nips over to have a natter. The donkey asks "What did you do for a living?”  Horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter". The donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach". Then he asks "Did you win anything?” The horse says "Yeah, on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”.
They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later. The donkey thinks, "I need to impress this guy he's done everything" , so he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace. The horse arrives and says "Lovely place you have here and who's that in the picture on the wall?” The donkey replies " That’s me when I played for Juventus!”

Must be a Brummie thing mate - this one’s always lived in Sutton Coldfield! 

Paddy and Murphy fancy a pint but only have a Euro between them. Paddy goes off and buys a sausage. 
Murphy says “Are you mad? Now we're skint!” “Come on” says Paddy, “follow me.”
They go into the pub, order two pints and drink them before they pay. Paddy shoves the sausage through the flies of his jeans and tells Murphy to get down on his knees and suck it. The barman goes berserk and throws them out. 
10 pubs and 10 pints later Murphy says..
 “I cant do this any more, my knees are sore and I'm pissed.”
“How do you think I feel?” says Paddy, “I can't even remember which pub I lost the sausage in?!”

A horse is in the pub having a few drinks when spots a donkey in the corner, so he nips over to have a natter. The donkey asks "What did you do for a living?”  Horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter". The donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach". Then he asks "Did you win anything?” The horse says "Yeah, on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”.
They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later. The donkey thinks, "I need to impress this guy he's done everything" , so he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace. The horse arrives and says "Lovely place you have here and who's that in the picture on the wall?” The donkey replies " That’s me when I played for Juventus!”

The Pope was making toast one morning when he noticed that one slice bore a perfect image of the face of Christ.
Overcome with emotion, he showed it to the Dalai Llama who said, I can’t believe it’s not Buddha. 

A horse is in the pub having a few drinks when spots a donkey in the corner, so he nips over to have a natter. The donkey asks "What did you do for a living?”  Horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter". The donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach". Then he asks "Did you win anything?” The horse says "Yeah, on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”.
They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later. The donkey thinks, "I need to impress this guy he's done everything" , so he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace. The horse arrives and says "Lovely place you have here and who's that in the picture on the wall?” The donkey replies " That’s me when I played for Juventus!”

A horse is in the pub having a few drinks when spots a donkey in the corner, so he nips over to have a natter. The donkey asks "What did you do for a living?”  Horse says " I ran on the flat in the summer and over the jumps in the winter". The donkey says "I worked with the kids on blackpool beach". Then he asks "Did you win anything?” The horse says "Yeah, on the flat I won the Oaks, St. Leger and the Derby and over the jumps I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup”.
They arrange to meet at the donkey's house a week later. The donkey thinks, "I need to impress this guy he's done everything" , so he buys a big picture of a zebra and hangs it above the fireplace. The horse arrives and says "Lovely place you have here and who's that in the picture on the wall?” The donkey replies " That’s me when I played for Juventus!”

I!ve got that one anorl!
Like me, it's been round the block a few times. 
Been broken and repaired.
Shows lots of signs of wear.
But I wouldn't part with it for the memories it represents.
I bet Mozza has got one too. ...........
 
He probably broke his and swapped it for mine in the first place!?

More photos of Darren Bent, what else?

I haven't posted pics on here before so I hope this works.
i inherited this mug from my dear old dad, who inherited it from his parents. It's probably the best thing I own!

I've had the real pleasure of meeting Arthur on several occasions. He is an absolute first rate Gentleman. He told me some fabulous anecdotes about the time he worked for Robert Maxwell but point blankly refused to be in any way indiscrete; {Maxwell used to pay Arthur bonuses in the form of dozens of pairs of gentleman's socks from Harrods!}. I think Derby County for once were privileged to have had Arthur as manager {the players all referred to him as the Sarjeant Major} and I feel privileged and honoured to have met him. He always give people his time and shows people total respect. A true living legend. Spoke about his Derby players as if they were his own sons and visibly shed a tear when we talked about Rob Hindmarch. A wonderful man and true Derby County hero. 

Not specifially Derby tat but a previous (and best?) shirt sponsor.
 

Never thought I'd have coaster envy.

I haven't posted pics on here before so I hope this works.
i inherited this mug from my dear old dad, who inherited it from his parents. It's probably the best thing I own!

I haven't posted pics on here before so I hope this works.
i inherited this mug from my dear old dad, who inherited it from his parents. It's probably the best thing I own!

1999 representing.

 

I haven't posted pics on here before so I hope this works.
i inherited this mug from my dear old dad, who inherited it from his parents. It's probably the best thing I own!

I haven't posted pics on here before so I hope this works.
i inherited this mug from my dear old dad, who inherited it from his parents. It's probably the best thing I own!

I haven't posted pics on here before so I hope this works.
i inherited this mug from my dear old dad, who inherited it from his parents. It's probably the best thing I own!

I haven't posted pics on here before so I hope this works.
i inherited this mug from my dear old dad, who inherited it from his parents. It's probably the best thing I own!

I haven't posted pics on here before so I hope this works.
i inherited this mug from my dear old dad, who inherited it from his parents. It's probably the best thing I own!

I haven't posted pics on here before so I hope this works.
i inherited this mug from my dear old dad, who inherited it from his parents. It's probably the best thing I own!

I haven't posted pics on here before so I hope this works.
i inherited this mug from my dear old dad, who inherited it from his parents. It's probably the best thing I own!