bimmerman

I won the three-legged race every single year, and I didn't even have a partner!

I won the egg and spoon race 3 times at junior school ?

Tell you what, I was wrong, he's not in Everton's team
 

I could understand if they were jumping ship for another Champ academy but they are joining Man City, Liverpool & Man Utd - the biggest clubs in the country

Very funny that made me snorkel.

He hasn’t got a motability scooter.

Wrapped my car around a tree at 70 mph, broken in 2 places and the ankle, had pinned and rodded back together.. Did a good job of it! 

Yeah well and truly! Can't complain?

Wrapped my car around a tree at 70 mph, broken in 2 places and the ankle, had pinned and rodded back together.. Did a good job of it! 

Does your missus know you've got her stockings and Ugg boots on? ?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Just kidding, what happened there buddy?

Stood on some lego again?

He's barely 16 years old and has been in the squad for the last 4 Championship matches. That alone suggests potential and Rooney will be the best person to decide if and when he's ready to be given more playing time - after all, he's coming from a position of knowing what it's like to be that age and introduced to the professional game.

Not good news for Bradley Johnson.

I rate any player who's initials are also his position 

Anyone asked a Sunderland fan how much they're enjoying it?

You are Bobby Zamora and I claim my £500.

So, the pleasures of company cars, wrote my last one off and have had this delivered now, 2020 mini 5 door. 
Very bmw inside, quite nice actually. Never would have considered one but quite like it. Goes well with the history I have of hairdressers cars?

Well done.
You've just guaranteed that Keogh nods home a last minute winner in said fixture!

Got myself a 1992 Vauxhall Senator, 3.0 litre,  24v redtop.  The one with the LCD dashboard.  The real dogs baalocks.  150mph+.  Great fun driving that home from Christchurch nr Bournemouth.
 

Well....this ended well.. 

Yeah, walked /limped away with a couple of breaks in my leg and collorbone. Could have been a lot worse. Modern cars are 100% worth the ridiculous cost! 

Well....this ended well.. 

That looks quite lucky, although you probably don't feel that way. Another foot or two back might have been more sore!

Clearly not... unless the bloody tree was growing in the middle of the road!   ?