Mucker1884

wow @jimbo jones that's a tough read. I generally never know what to say to people who lay out their problems on here, but can sometimes find some common-sense type advice. I wouldn't know where to start with you cos you are also carrying the worry for others health as well as your own. My advice would normally be to break down your issues into different challenges as when altogether, they are too big an issue to resolve, but I don't think that's as realistic when you're talking about your children, I suppose you can take some pride in knowing you're clearly trying to be a great parent and there are "parents" out there who'll just let others deal with their children.
I would probably say, try your hardest to get your life back on track, and some routine/habits going, then other things might fall into place as things become simple in your own little bubble. It may sound selfish, but it's not.
Sincerely wishing you some good times soon Jimbo. 

I’ve been living with depression for nearly 20 years now. There’s been the good times and the bad times. 2019 was the worst. Both my kids are autistic.

My son got excluded from his special needs school in 2018. We went round every special needs school in Derbyshire, to be told not one of them could meet his needs. In short, the problems we had with my son were huge. We ended up getting a disability social worker and being tagged as a family in crisis.
 
In the end Derbyshire Council are having to pay for him to go to a private school in Nottingham. Which isn’t cheap ?
The difference in him at the new school was huge. So then we had the battle of just getting my daughter a diagnosis. For whatever reasons it’s a lot harder to get girls diagnosed. Her school were dismissive of anything being wrong  and extremely unhelpful. Eventually we got the diagnosis and she went up to junior school, who were much more helpful.
Then my partners sister passed away after a long illness at just 30. Obviously it was difficult for all of us. But my son found it really difficult, and the old problems were back. The last month he got back to where he was.
Me personally. I was on the brink when I went back to see my doctor. Who signed me off work. 4 months later and I’m no closer to being ready to go back and starting to get stressed about what I’m going to do about work.
my depression is just something I have. Ive done the counselling and basically been told I just have to manage. The amount of stress I’ve got going on is making that seem impossible a lot of the time.
ive started writing a blog, basically about me trying to deal with life having 2 kids with autism. Which is helping me get what’s on my mind out into “the universe” (or something like that) and getting into the “autism community” on twitter. Getting to know other parents who know what it’s like, which has been good.
 
Anyway this has been me getting things off my mind again....cheers ?
 

If Mucker doesn’t want it I will take it off your hands. I am also willing to take one for the team and eat and drink myself silly until it fits. You don’t have to chip in for the tarka daal, cheese and garlic naan and cobra but you can if you want. 

Don't know how large you are, but you can have this one if you want it.

One of my all time favourites... and I've never worn mine outside of the house! ?
I got a fag burn right above the "D" on boxing day!  As central and obvious as it could get!  (I've since packed up).  Not even 24 hours old (since I'd unwrapped it), and actually worn for less than two hours!
It was more of a (black) melted mark, maybe 8/10mm diameter, as opposed to an actual hole.
Muckerette... a sales assistant in a well known city centre clothing store, no less... advised me to take it back (to a different well known city centre store, not DCFC), claim it was brand new for Christmas (which it was) and unworn (which it wasn't), and demand a replacement as "It was received in that condition" (which it hadn't!). 
"Don't take no for an answer" she wailed!  She claimed the phrase "I Know my rights" would bring a result.  "Stand your ground" she ordered.
... half an hour after entering the store, I was escorted off the premises by Eagle Centre security (or whatever it was called back then?), with the same shirt still in the bag, and my tail tucked firmly between my legs.  I didn't speak to her for a week, and have never wanted to be seen outdoors with it ever since!  ?
Oh... and Muckerette has done all of my returns ever since, regardless of the reason (mostly too tight, these days!)  ?
 

Regardless of race, birthplaces and skin colour, that would still be beautiful, in fairness.
But given the trials and challenges those two would have gone through as they started out together, and presumably more so as they expanded their family, shows that true love really is out there, and it can overcome pretty much anything, if you stay strong together!
Nice story.  
 
 
EDIT:
Oh... and from a personal point of view... perhaps I should be more open about my own marriage, and not worry about what other people think of my missus... after all, she can't help having been born in No**ingham!  ;-)

Regardless of race, birthplaces and skin colour, that would still be beautiful, in fairness.
But given the trials and challenges those two would have gone through as they started out together, and presumably more so as they expanded their family, shows that true love really is out there, and it can overcome pretty much anything, if you stay strong together!
Nice story.  
 
 
EDIT:
Oh... and from a personal point of view... perhaps I should be more open about my own marriage, and not worry about what other people think of my missus... after all, she can't help having been born in No**ingham!  ;-)

People who can’t ducking eat properly and continually slap their ducking lips while filling their face and making that horrible noise. Totally ducking oblivious to being a complete banker. Sitting next to some Chinese ****** who is going to get a fork in his head in a minute. Scum. 

Totally agree.  "Laters" is ample on it's own!   ;-)

Totally agree.  "Laters" is ample on it's own!   ;-)

Totally agree.  "Laters" is ample on it's own!   ;-)

Agreed... and whilst we're on the driving theme, the folk who seem to think it is ok to cut across lanes on a roundabout, effectively driving in a straight line to save them having to turn their wheel... and in the process wiping out the poor sod to their right...
I'd say they were equally Bamfordious!  

Well sod yer then... I'll do my own bloody googling...
" ...to mark what is the 50th anniversary of the start of the cup run that led to Chelsea lifting the famous old trophy for the first, but thankfully not the only time..."
https://www.chelseafc.com/en/news/2020/01/05/1970-in-today-prog
 
 
#I'll talk to myself, I'll talk to myse-el-elf.  My name is Mucker, I'll talk to myself.
 
 

Ha, this one is true, promise, I’m flying over to Derby soon

I really hope this is true.  The emotional investment I had, and lost, in @AmericanRam makes me so very wary ?

Well sod yer then... I'll do my own bloody googling...
" ...to mark what is the 50th anniversary of the start of the cup run that led to Chelsea lifting the famous old trophy for the first, but thankfully not the only time..."
https://www.chelseafc.com/en/news/2020/01/05/1970-in-today-prog
 
 
#I'll talk to myself, I'll talk to myse-el-elf.  My name is Mucker, I'll talk to myself.
 
 

Well sod yer then... I'll do my own bloody googling...
" ...to mark what is the 50th anniversary of the start of the cup run that led to Chelsea lifting the famous old trophy for the first, but thankfully not the only time..."
https://www.chelseafc.com/en/news/2020/01/05/1970-in-today-prog
 
 
#I'll talk to myself, I'll talk to myse-el-elf.  My name is Mucker, I'll talk to myself.
 
 

Well sod yer then... I'll do my own bloody googling...
" ...to mark what is the 50th anniversary of the start of the cup run that led to Chelsea lifting the famous old trophy for the first, but thankfully not the only time..."
https://www.chelseafc.com/en/news/2020/01/05/1970-in-today-prog
 
 
#I'll talk to myself, I'll talk to myse-el-elf.  My name is Mucker, I'll talk to myself.
 
 

Hey all,
Thank you all for the kind words, and the caring "reactions".
Without wishing to single anyone out,... I'm not doing too bad, I guess.
Been a busy week of course, hence my lack of activity and acknowledgement on here, and it's fair to say the emotional roller coaster has been running at full capacity, but hey, I'm slowly coming to turns with this emotional stuff these past 4 or 5 years, and may even start to get used to these "crappy Christmases" after the past half dozen years or so!  I hasten to say, there were literally decades of continuously happy ones before that, so I'm fully aware of my blessings, and never lose count of them!
(Weak) apologies for blurting out my feelings to you all last week, but after what we went through 3+ years ago, with my aforementioned granddaughter, I'm fully aware of how selfishly soothing the internet can be... in the right company.! (Lucky for you lot I didn't know you then... I nearly broke the internet!)
For those doubters amongst you, I can assure you it really is "good to talk" in certain situations... and even better when those thoughtful and generous responses come rolling back at yer, so if I have one request, it is that none of you go bottling things up out there.  We may all be strangers on here, but we're all mates too, right!  There is an obvious bond, when all said and done!
Without wishing to bore you, after a couple of days of "taking charge", I'm slowly, but confidently, now passing control to my nephew... sis's only child... who I have to say, is now showing clear signs of maturity and reliability beyond my expectations, if I'm honest.  We're there for him, of course, and we're all chipping in with both the practicalities and the emotionalities (I made that up... obvs!) but he is coping handsomely, as we all are.
There is a Post Mortem involved, and due to the time of year, things are gonna drag out a little, well into the New Year, which ain't ideal of course.  But it is what it is, I guess!
I'm hopeful I'll find time to catch up... and hopefully contribute... to the footy side of these forums (Which let's face it, is the main reason we're all here), but just in case I don't may I just wish you all a Merry Xmas, and a healthy and happy New Year.  Treasure those families of yours, and find time to raise a glass to the memories of all those that we have all lost over the years.
... Oh yeah... and ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEY!
 
DCFC...  No bottling.
dcfcfans... No bottling it up!
xxx
 
 
 
 

Hey all,
Thank you all for the kind words, and the caring "reactions".
Without wishing to single anyone out,... I'm not doing too bad, I guess.
Been a busy week of course, hence my lack of activity and acknowledgement on here, and it's fair to say the emotional roller coaster has been running at full capacity, but hey, I'm slowly coming to turns with this emotional stuff these past 4 or 5 years, and may even start to get used to these "crappy Christmases" after the past half dozen years or so!  I hasten to say, there were literally decades of continuously happy ones before that, so I'm fully aware of my blessings, and never lose count of them!
(Weak) apologies for blurting out my feelings to you all last week, but after what we went through 3+ years ago, with my aforementioned granddaughter, I'm fully aware of how selfishly soothing the internet can be... in the right company.! (Lucky for you lot I didn't know you then... I nearly broke the internet!)
For those doubters amongst you, I can assure you it really is "good to talk" in certain situations... and even better when those thoughtful and generous responses come rolling back at yer, so if I have one request, it is that none of you go bottling things up out there.  We may all be strangers on here, but we're all mates too, right!  There is an obvious bond, when all said and done!
Without wishing to bore you, after a couple of days of "taking charge", I'm slowly, but confidently, now passing control to my nephew... sis's only child... who I have to say, is now showing clear signs of maturity and reliability beyond my expectations, if I'm honest.  We're there for him, of course, and we're all chipping in with both the practicalities and the emotionalities (I made that up... obvs!) but he is coping handsomely, as we all are.
There is a Post Mortem involved, and due to the time of year, things are gonna drag out a little, well into the New Year, which ain't ideal of course.  But it is what it is, I guess!
I'm hopeful I'll find time to catch up... and hopefully contribute... to the footy side of these forums (Which let's face it, is the main reason we're all here), but just in case I don't may I just wish you all a Merry Xmas, and a healthy and happy New Year.  Treasure those families of yours, and find time to raise a glass to the memories of all those that we have all lost over the years.
... Oh yeah... and ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEY!
 
DCFC...  No bottling.
dcfcfans... No bottling it up!
xxx
 
 
 
 

Hey all,
Thank you all for the kind words, and the caring "reactions".
Without wishing to single anyone out,... I'm not doing too bad, I guess.
Been a busy week of course, hence my lack of activity and acknowledgement on here, and it's fair to say the emotional roller coaster has been running at full capacity, but hey, I'm slowly coming to turns with this emotional stuff these past 4 or 5 years, and may even start to get used to these "crappy Christmases" after the past half dozen years or so!  I hasten to say, there were literally decades of continuously happy ones before that, so I'm fully aware of my blessings, and never lose count of them!
(Weak) apologies for blurting out my feelings to you all last week, but after what we went through 3+ years ago, with my aforementioned granddaughter, I'm fully aware of how selfishly soothing the internet can be... in the right company.! (Lucky for you lot I didn't know you then... I nearly broke the internet!)
For those doubters amongst you, I can assure you it really is "good to talk" in certain situations... and even better when those thoughtful and generous responses come rolling back at yer, so if I have one request, it is that none of you go bottling things up out there.  We may all be strangers on here, but we're all mates too, right!  There is an obvious bond, when all said and done!
Without wishing to bore you, after a couple of days of "taking charge", I'm slowly, but confidently, now passing control to my nephew... sis's only child... who I have to say, is now showing clear signs of maturity and reliability beyond my expectations, if I'm honest.  We're there for him, of course, and we're all chipping in with both the practicalities and the emotionalities (I made that up... obvs!) but he is coping handsomely, as we all are.
There is a Post Mortem involved, and due to the time of year, things are gonna drag out a little, well into the New Year, which ain't ideal of course.  But it is what it is, I guess!
I'm hopeful I'll find time to catch up... and hopefully contribute... to the footy side of these forums (Which let's face it, is the main reason we're all here), but just in case I don't may I just wish you all a Merry Xmas, and a healthy and happy New Year.  Treasure those families of yours, and find time to raise a glass to the memories of all those that we have all lost over the years.
... Oh yeah... and ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEY!
 
DCFC...  No bottling.
dcfcfans... No bottling it up!
xxx
 
 
 
 

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words, @angieram.  They are appreciated, as are all the responses on here.  It's always good to know you have friends, even if they do happen to be strangers!
I'm sure you don't need me to tell you to make the most of that family bond, but... make the most of that family bond!  ?
... And long may it continue.
xxx

Hey all,
Thank you all for the kind words, and the caring "reactions".
Without wishing to single anyone out,... I'm not doing too bad, I guess.
Been a busy week of course, hence my lack of activity and acknowledgement on here, and it's fair to say the emotional roller coaster has been running at full capacity, but hey, I'm slowly coming to turns with this emotional stuff these past 4 or 5 years, and may even start to get used to these "crappy Christmases" after the past half dozen years or so!  I hasten to say, there were literally decades of continuously happy ones before that, so I'm fully aware of my blessings, and never lose count of them!
(Weak) apologies for blurting out my feelings to you all last week, but after what we went through 3+ years ago, with my aforementioned granddaughter, I'm fully aware of how selfishly soothing the internet can be... in the right company.! (Lucky for you lot I didn't know you then... I nearly broke the internet!)
For those doubters amongst you, I can assure you it really is "good to talk" in certain situations... and even better when those thoughtful and generous responses come rolling back at yer, so if I have one request, it is that none of you go bottling things up out there.  We may all be strangers on here, but we're all mates too, right!  There is an obvious bond, when all said and done!
Without wishing to bore you, after a couple of days of "taking charge", I'm slowly, but confidently, now passing control to my nephew... sis's only child... who I have to say, is now showing clear signs of maturity and reliability beyond my expectations, if I'm honest.  We're there for him, of course, and we're all chipping in with both the practicalities and the emotionalities (I made that up... obvs!) but he is coping handsomely, as we all are.
There is a Post Mortem involved, and due to the time of year, things are gonna drag out a little, well into the New Year, which ain't ideal of course.  But it is what it is, I guess!
I'm hopeful I'll find time to catch up... and hopefully contribute... to the footy side of these forums (Which let's face it, is the main reason we're all here), but just in case I don't may I just wish you all a Merry Xmas, and a healthy and happy New Year.  Treasure those families of yours, and find time to raise a glass to the memories of all those that we have all lost over the years.
... Oh yeah... and ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEY!
 
DCFC...  No bottling.
dcfcfans... No bottling it up!
xxx
 
 
 
 

The Hackney style taxis here in Derby are all yellow.  I think our local cabbies assume those lines indicate a taxi rank!  ?

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words, @angieram.  They are appreciated, as are all the responses on here.  It's always good to know you have friends, even if they do happen to be strangers!
I'm sure you don't need me to tell you to make the most of that family bond, but... make the most of that family bond!  ?
... And long may it continue.
xxx