Van der MoodHoover Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 10 minutes ago, Lambchop said: I'm the archetypal wicked stepmother! Three, all in their 30s, doing ok. They went through the shitty teenager phase, but sorted themselves out; more, I think, to being shown the value of caring for others than being trained as mini capitalists. I agree, though, it's a harsh and scary world, and kids now have less to look forward to than my generation. You don't sound that wicked ? Kids have a lot on their plate. And households are generally under more pressure imo with both parents working and quite probably commuting. Time and the harmonious space in which to really nurture values in shorter supply. That said, junior (Harry) is a good kid who majors on wildlife rather than the range of possible vices on offer. It's mainly naivete and ignorance. The conversation about possible 1st cars the other day and why a 4,000 pound volvo was "clearly good value for money " being a case in point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 47 minutes ago, HantsRam said: My first salary £430 per month £110 rent (bills inc) £70 paying off overdraft £80 food £40 car £50 misc bills (mainly phone, dry cleaning of suits, laundry etc) £90 spends Also 1986 Bloody high flyer!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsnip Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 2 hours ago, reveldevil said: We charge him £100 board Invest in that delonghi and you can increase that rate to £150. He won't be able to resist that Colombian aroma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 I was Vauxhall Chevette while @HantsRam was escort RS 2000! sniff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, Boycie said: Bloody high flyer!? In Belper High School terms I'm a galactico mate ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 1 minute ago, Boycie said: I was Vauxhall Chevette while @HantsRam was escort RS 2000! sniff. I was royalty mate. I learned to drive in a silver Talbot Samba. ......with yellow wheels ? Proper bling. ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, HantsRam said: In Belper High School terms I'm a galactico mate ? I was Flammy mate, we always made the Belper High run back up the hill home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Clough Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Nothing. Encourage them to save as much as possible until you can push them out the door to rent/mortgage their own place. From my point of view, the more you change them for board, the longer it’ll take them to save up and move out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 17 minutes ago, Boycie said: I was Flammy mate, we always made the Belper High run back up the hill home. We were just tired from all the sheep and goat rearing in our Rural Studies lessons....? You lot wasn't harder than us.....no way ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 11 minutes ago, HantsRam said: We were just tired from all the sheep and goat rearing in our Rural Studies lessons....? You lot wasn't harder than us.....no way ?? True. We were too involved in fighting the Mill Hill Massive. Took them anorl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 23 minutes ago, Boycie said: True. We were too involved in fighting the Mill Hill Massive. Took them anorl. Ahhh. The 1983 Toll Bar Massacre ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilkleyram Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 What you could do revel, is charge him board to teach him the essential lesson that life doesn't come free and that while he can have his £250 trainers he might also have to make some choices, and then put his board into a separate savings account which you can then give him as a surprise when he wants a deposit or to pay rent when he moves out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRainy Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 16 hours ago, ilkleyram said: put his board into a separate savings account which you can then give him as a surprise when he wants a deposit or to pay rent when he moves out. That's just taking away his ability to save that money for himself, surely? Not teaching him independence there, quite the opposite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gritstone Ram Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 Mrs Gritters lad ‘thwaity’ split up with his missus in 2016. Mrs G asked if he could come back to stop with us until little thwaity sorted himself out. I wasn’t keen because I thought at 26 he should stand on his own two feet. I agreed that he paid £50/w to soften the blow. 2 years later he is still here but now bringing a thwaitlet back now too. My question is should I charge extra for the twaitlet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sith Happens Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 16 hours ago, ilkleyram said: What you could do revel, is charge him board to teach him the essential lesson that life doesn't come free and that while he can have his £250 trainers he might also have to make some choices, and then put his board into a separate savings account which you can then give him as a surprise when he wants a deposit or to pay rent when he moves out. 10 minutes ago, Lambchop said: That's just taking away his ability to save that money for himself, surely? Not teaching him independence there, quite the opposite. My mum and dad did this, they saved my board without me knowing of course, and then told me about it when i decided to get married and they gave me the money to help pay for the wedding. Just because you pay board doesn't mean you cant save your own money too. I think paying board is a good thing, not all my friends paid it and yes i found it frustrating and annoying that they didnt and I did, but i still think it at least gave me a grounding for when i moved out and had to suddenly pay the bills etc. Maybe not paying board is a bad thing, in my example the friend who didnt pay board still lives at home and hes knocking on 50. Perhaps of home life wasnt so cushy he wouldnt be. I dont know, there is no wrong or right, if your children grow up right with proper values and treat others in the right way it doesnt matter how you got there, someone could pay board or not and turn out to be a right scrote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sith Happens Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 9 minutes ago, Gritters said: Mrs Gritters lad ‘thwaity’ split up with his missus in 2016. Mrs G asked if he could come back to stop with us until little thwaity sorted himself out. I wasn’t keen because I thought at 26 he should stand on his own two feet. I agreed that he paid £50/w to soften the blow. 2 years later he is still here but now bringing a thwaitlet back now too. My question is should I charge extra for the twaitlet? I would say yes. Got to be the same again at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jono Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 20 hours ago, Lambchop said: Nothing Never understood the idea of charging your own family money to live under your roof. Agreed in principle, but if said youthful family member is living the life of Riley with holidays and the latest gadgets, driving a nearly new car whilst yours in on its last legs and you’re still working shifts and taking bank holiday work for the extra pay then something isn’t quite right. Not my situation but I know someone in that position. ... it’s about individuals, attitudes from both parties and their circumstances, I don’t think you can make hard and fast rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sith Happens Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 1 minute ago, jono said: Agreed in principle, but if said youthful family member is living the life of Riley with holidays and the latest gadgets, driving a nearly new car whilst yours in on its last legs and you’re still working shifts and taking bank holiday work for the extra pay then something isn’t quite right. Not my situation but I know someone in that position. ... it’s about individuals, attitudes from both parties and their circumstances, I don’t think you can make hard and fast rules. Good point. People can be living at home a long time. There is a good chance that young person could be the highest wage earner in the household,. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gritstone Ram Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 My mother charged me £100/month 30 years ago. I begrudged paying every penny of it. The rest I spent on wild women and alcohol. Those were the days. I felt she was ripping me off but she would just point to the door and told me to find somewhere cheaper. I eventually learnt the value of money and that wild women weren’t all they are cracked up to be. Anything left after the women I just wasted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage Posted November 18, 2018 Share Posted November 18, 2018 If he is the third wage earner in the house ask him for 1/3 of the gas/elec/water/internet/tv licence/sky etc. Then offer to match fund any regular savings he wishes to make up to £100 a month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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