Board.

[Rev]

32 minutes ago, sage said:

If he is the third wage earner in the house ask him for 1/3 of the gas/elec/water/internet/tv licence/sky etc.

Then offer to match fund any regular savings he wishes to make up to £100 a month.  

I'd have to ask the missus how much the bills are, sky apart.

 

[ilkleyram]

1 hour ago, Lambchop said:

That's just taking away his ability to save that money for himself, surely?

Not teaching him independence there, quite the opposite. 

If he can afford trainers at that price then he can afford to pay board and save

The lesson he’ll learn is to pay his bills and to save ie do what the rest of us do, manage our money. 

One of the essential responsibilities of any parent, in my view, is to teach their kids how to manage money, how to save and how to avoid debt or afford debt. There’s too many that get into difficulty because they haven’t learnt those skills and giving them some practical experience in a safe environment by charging board is one way of doing it. 

[jono]

This has got me thinking .. in the end it is between parent and young person .. assuming they are working and earning.

Cave Man to Cave mans son. ... you are old enough and strong enough to hunt and collect firewood. If you want to sit in the our cave by the fire then you contribute. I’ll teach you to make a spear, I’ll show you where the best wood is but bottom line, you are a grown up and you are in this with the rest of us. We share the meat the warmth the shelter and the work. ... now if you catch that monster elk and with your share persuade Oggette Bardot to shack up with you in your own cave then good on you lad. In the meantime .....

[Sith Happens]

1 hour ago, jono said:

This has got me thinking .. in the end it is between parent and young person .. assuming they are working and earning.

Cave Man to Cave mans son. ... you are old enough and strong enough to hunt and collect firewood. If you want to sit in the our cave by the fire then you contribute. I’ll teach you to make a spear, I’ll show you where the best wood is but bottom line, you are a grown up and you are in this with the rest of us. We share the meat the warmth the shelter and the work. ... now if you catch that monster elk and with your share persuade Oggette Bardot to shack up with you in your own cave then good on you lad. In the meantime .....

Didn’t realise you lived in Nottingham.

[Stagtime]

23 hours ago, Boycie said:

My first apprentice wage £30

£10 board.

£10 repayment of loan for first car.

£10 spends.

1986

 

23 hours ago, Boycie said:

My first apprentice wage £30

£10 board.

£10 repayment of loan for first car.

£10 spends.

1986

Same here, first year apprentice, $60.00

board $20.00

bank  $20.00

play. $20.00

1978

[Stagtime]

21 hours ago, ilkleyram said:

What you could do revel, is charge him board to teach him the essential lesson that life doesn't come free and that while he can have his £250 trainers he might also have to make some choices, and then put his board into a separate savings account which you can then give him as a surprise when he wants a deposit or to pay rent when he moves out.

That’s what we did. They got half back as a 21st present.

[Angry Ram]

On 17/11/2018 at 20:19, reveldevil said:

To answer @Lambchop more fully, I grew up in a Spondon council house as the last child of six in a single parent household.

I'm similar to @Boycie, in that a 1/3rd of my first wages went on board.

Last January, my lad admitted to his mum that he'd bought trainers in the sales at the half price bargain of £250!

I felt sick once I'd heard, and thought he'd not learned the true value of money, hence my quandary whether to teach him a lesson now, or let him discover it later for himself.

I guess it boils down to how many times he has abused the situation?

One pair of expensive trainers should not tar him for life. He’s just treated himself. If he knows things are tight and he does this over and over again, then different matter. He’s taking pee 

Little Angry purchased a £500 plus pair and a £250 pair. He’s travelling in the new year but works his butt off. No we don’t take anything from him, I don’t have to teach him the value of money and what is right and wrong. The point is that if were in trouble, he would give us every penny he earns, without question  

Dont judge your lad on one thing. He is young and needs some special things. Still can’t understand why anyone would pay that for creps. What’s wrong with Adidas Originals?

[Inverurie Ram]

On 17 November 2018 at 20:19, reveldevil said:

To answer @Lambchop more fully, I grew up in a Spondon council house as the last child of six in a single parent household.

I'm similar to @Boycie, in that a 1/3rd of my first wages went on board.

Last January, my lad admitted to his mum that he'd bought trainers in the sales at the half price bargain of £250!

I felt sick once I'd heard, and thought he'd not learned the true value of money, hence my quandary whether to teach him a lesson now, or let him discover it later for himself.

@reveldevil is your lad called Darren?, if so I'd kick the lazy free loading so and so out the house and tell him not to come back and not to disrespect one of his previous managers who was part of the set up that was paying for his trainers whilst on Sky Sports TV!!!

@Angry Ram I have a sneaky feeling in my water, that Little Angry is not called Darren!

 

[Parsnip]

My oldest is only 7 so I've not got to worry about this for a good while. It's an interesting discussion though.

My mum never attempted to charge me board but then i left home at 19 and never went back so there was not much opportunity. 

At almost 40 though I do feel like I could've benefited from more parental guidance early on - I've always been financially irresponsible, even now with a family!

I didn't know you could spend £250/500 on a pair of trainers though!

[Rev]

7 minutes ago, Parsnip said:

My oldest is only 7 so I've not got to worry about this for a good while. It's an interesting discussion though.

My mum never attempted to charge me board but then i left home at 19 and never went back so there was not much opportunity. 

At almost 40 though I do feel like I could've benefited from more parental guidance early on - I've always been financially irresponsible, even now with a family!

I didn't know you could spend £250/500 on a pair of trainers though!

I've never even heard of the brand, either.

Some poncy Italian things with a zip.

[Angry Ram]

15 minutes ago, reveldevil said:

I've never even heard of the brand, either.

Some poncy Italian things with a zip.

Valentino’s?

[Rev]

58 minutes ago, Angry Ram said:

Valentino’s?

Giuseppe Zanotti.

[Rev]

2 hours ago, Angry Ram said:

I guess it boils down to how many times he has abused the situation?

One pair of expensive trainers should not tar him for life. He’s just treated himself. If he knows things are tight and he does this over and over again, then different matter. He’s taking pee 

Little Angry purchased a £500 plus pair and a £250 pair. He’s travelling in the new year but works his butt off. No we don’t take anything from him, I don’t have to teach him the value of money and what is right and wrong. The point is that if were in trouble, he would give us every penny he earns, without question  

Dont judge your lad on one thing. He is young and needs some special things. Still can’t understand why anyone would pay that for creps. What’s wrong with Adidas Originals?

Good points.

If I'm honest, the trainers or the amount of board aren't important.

It's the feeling we've made life a little bit too easy for him, and he's just cruising through with no thought as to his future, which is our fault, not his.

[Boycie]

On 17/11/2018 at 22:11, HantsRam said:

Ahhh. The 1983 Toll Bar Massacre ?

Nah, it was the Marehay Massacre, we headed em off at the pass.

[BathRam72]

On 17/11/2018 at 20:19, reveldevil said:

To answer @Lambchop more fully, I grew up in a Spondon council house as the last child of six in a single parent household.

I'm similar to @Boycie, in that a 1/3rd of my first wages went on board.

Last January, my lad admitted to his mum that he'd bought trainers in the sales at the half price bargain of £250!

I felt sick once I'd heard, and thought he'd not learned the true value of money, hence my quandary whether to teach him a lesson now, or let him discover it later for himself.

I am in a similar situation. 

My stepson will think nothing of buying something at an astronomical price, wear it a few times then sell it/them on for half the price.

No idea about money.

He is driving my wife's old car (very good car worth at least £2500 when we gave it to him) probably worth less than £500 in the 6 months he has ruined it. When the MOT came up, he had no money, so I had to pay. New tyres? yes me again.

He does pay half of his car insurance, but his mum pays the other half, the tax and his phone ( which has to be the latest all singing all dancing type that makes you breakfast for you).

He is doing an apprenticeship and the company he works for are very generous and pay him £800 per month even on his apprenticeship.

Apart from his insurance he has all his money at his disposal.

What annoys me is when we go shopping all I hear is.

Mum can you get me some deodorant? can you get me some new boxers, can you get me ......... 

I for one would rather charge him at least £100 per month and put it away for what ever might come up. That way he will have some appreciation of what he actually has.

[Van der MoodHoover]

1 hour ago, Boycie said:

Nah, it was the Marehay Massacre, we headed em off at the pass.

Belper High never travelled well. Bit like Nigel cloughs rams......?

[Stive Pesley]

An interesting topic - my eldest moved out at the age of 20, but now after two years living in his own (rented) place, he's moved back in for a bit. His lease came up for renewal and he didn't want to commit to another year as he wants to move away from Derby.

It wouldn't dream of charging him any board, but it's surprising how many friends have said they would if it were their kid

He buys all his own food anyway, so the only material difference is on the gas/electric bill - it went down by about £15 a month when he moved out before. That's a £15 difference that I can live with. And he needs it more than I do. The whole point of him moving back for a bit is to save up a decent wedge to fund whatever his next move will be.

Charging him to live here seems weird, I'm his Dad and no matter how old he is, or how rich he is, he gets to stay here whenever he needs to

There may come a day when I'm broke but I know he'd be there for me if that were the case. Plus I know he appreciates it, and he gets his round in without being prompted. so that's all I can ask for.

 

 

[Bwash_Ram]

If it was me id get him to pay 25% of his income into an ISA he cant touch then in a few years he will have enough for a deposit.

[Bwash_Ram]

When i left school at 16 i did a YTS scheme thingy and i got £25 a week and payed me old fella a fiver as i recall.

[BathRam72]

1 hour ago, StivePesley said:

An interesting topic - my eldest moved out at the age of 20, but now after two years living in his own (rented) place, he's moved back in for a bit. His lease came up for renewal and he didn't want to commit to another year as he wants to move away from Derby.

It wouldn't dream of charging him any board, but it's surprising how many friends have said they would if it were their kid

He buys all his own food anyway, so the only material difference is on the gas/electric bill - it went down by about £15 a month when he moved out before. That's a £15 difference that I can live with. And he needs it more than I do. The whole point of him moving back for a bit is to save up a decent wedge to fund whatever his next move will be.

Charging him to live here seems weird, I'm his Dad and no matter how old he is, or how rich he is, he gets to stay here whenever he needs to

There may come a day when I'm broke but I know he'd be there for me if that were the case. Plus I know he appreciates it, and he gets his round in without being prompted. so that's all I can ask for.

 

 

I can go along with this, especially as he buys his own food.

But when my stepson manages to eat us out of house and home. My wife bought his food for the week for his work lunches. Most of that disappeared over the weekend ?