Rev Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 What do people think is a reasonable amount of board to charge young adults for living at home? Our lad has just turned 20, and takes home just under 1k a month, at the minimum wage. We charge him £100 board, but I've just noticed on the bank statement we're still paying him the same in pocket money through a standing order, which is obviously getting cancelled asap! What is a fair amount, should it be as little as possible seeing as we don't need the money? Or should we charge more, to better prepare him for adult life, with a mortgage/rental to consider, while putting that aside to help him on his way? I would love to hear what other parents think, and indeed those posters who pay board think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRainy Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Nothing Never understood the idea of charging your own family money to live under your roof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Its an interesting conundrum that Im just turning my mind to - Junior Hants is nearly 17 and it is not clear when he will be off the pay roll. I suspect i will start by thinking about all the stuff he does create cost in.......broadband, electricity, water for his endless showers, food for pets and himself etc i can easily see that lot running up to 20 quid a week or so? but still peanuts compared to what he might be running up if he goes on to do a degree. My eyes are already watering at 20+ driving lessons at £35 quid a pop...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 2 minutes ago, Lambchop said: Nothing Never understood the idea of charging your own family money to live under your roof. Id not have a problem with that if there was a willingness to contribute through effort and helpfulness rather than an apparent rush to exit stage left the moment everything in sight has been consumed. You'd like to think that sort of attitude would come from within - then the question of economic subsidy would not arise as you'd be generally delighted to have them around! ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve How Hard? Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 I thought this was another thread about last season. I really need to brush up on my spelling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 £50pw, that’s a healthy contribution towards utility bills and food, also leaves plenty to enjoy being a 20 year old and save for their own house. Once earning a reasonable wage and able to pay their way I see no reason why you shouldn’t charge board. Learning the value of money early on is a key lesson in life for youngsters. Electric, gas, water and your luxuries such as Sky TV and Broadband are not free, the sooner they appreciate this and the hours at work needed to pay the bills the better. Work is survival, not just for cash to go on the lash and clothes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Ram Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Nothing, as long as they appreciate it.. Not charged little Angry a penny and he earns a earns a lot.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 24 minutes ago, Lambchop said: Nothing Never understood the idea of charging your own family money to live under your roof. Why, he's costing us money to keep him under our roof, why shouldn't he make a contribution when he's earning his own? I'm not looking to cover the cost, but I don't see the point in letting him think a roof over your head, and the costs that come with it don't need paying for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrade 86 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Savings, savings and savings. Tough future for kids and parents alike after 8 years of austerity and 20 years of relative salary freezes. I've bought a flat for the lad so he's more fortunate than many but he'll still leave Uni with some fairly astronomical debts to clear down. He works two jobs currently to pay his way, which is pretty tough on top of a pharmacology degree course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boycie Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 My first apprentice wage £30 £10 board. £10 repayment of loan for first car. £10 spends. 1986 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve How Hard? Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 1 minute ago, reveldevil said: Why, he's costing us money to keep him under our roof, why shouldn't he make a contribution when he's earning his own? I'm not looking to cover the cost, but I don't see the point in letting him think a roof over your head, and the costs that come with it don't need paying for. You're right, and the idea of putting it aside for him to use at a later date will be greatly appreciated in the long run.Whilst we were growing up, a mate of mine was constantly being bailed out by his parents/grand parents when he ran big bills up on credit cards. He never learnt and he's still as bad now in adulthood. There is a lot to be said for learning these sorts of lessons early in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrade 86 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 19 minutes ago, reveldevil said: Why, he's costing us money to keep him under our roof, why shouldn't he make a contribution when he's earning his own? I'm not looking to cover the cost, but I don't see the point in letting him think a roof over your head, and the costs that come with it don't need paying for. I think what you're implying (gently!) is that he is taking for granted your goodwill and his own financial future. If that's the case, then I think you're entirely right to nudge him in a different direction, not for your benefit as you point out, but for his own. We all love our kids and probably cosset them more than we should, but times could get tough for those who are not in any way prepared for the realities of mortgages, council tax, utilities and putting food on the table, all before living a life. Helping them appreciate what is required may be a thankless task initially, but there'll come a time (maybe when they have kids of their own) that they'll understand the kindness involved in having made some tough decisions on their behalf, where they may have been reticent to make them on their own. Parenting huh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRainy Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 16 minutes ago, reveldevil said: Why, he's costing us money to keep him under our roof, why shouldn't he make a contribution when he's earning his own? I find it sad that we have to put a price on everything, even unconditional love. There are more important values in the relations between people than their market value. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRainy Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 51 minutes ago, HantsRam said: Id not have a problem with that if there was a willingness to contribute through effort and helpfulness rather than an apparent rush to exit stage left the moment everything in sight has been consumed. You'd like to think that sort of attitude would come from within - then the question of economic subsidy would not arise as you'd be generally delighted to have them around! ? If someone hasn't learned how to be considerate by the age of 20, then I doubt that demanding money from them is likely to remedy that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 15 minutes ago, Boycie said: My first apprentice wage £30 £10 board. £10 repayment of loan for first car. £10 spends. 1986 My first salary £430 per month £110 rent (bills inc) £70 paying off overdraft £80 food £40 car £50 misc bills (mainly phone, dry cleaning of suits, laundry etc) £90 spends Also 1986 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 To answer @Lambchop more fully, I grew up in a Spondon council house as the last child of six in a single parent household. I'm similar to @Boycie, in that a 1/3rd of my first wages went on board. Last January, my lad admitted to his mum that he'd bought trainers in the sales at the half price bargain of £250! I felt sick once I'd heard, and thought he'd not learned the true value of money, hence my quandary whether to teach him a lesson now, or let him discover it later for himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Van der MoodHoover Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, Lambchop said: If someone hasn't learned how to be considerate by the age of 20, then I doubt that demanding money from them is likely to remedy that. Its a discussion about what contribution someone is prepared to make to a household. Not some sort of extortion. These days, consideration seems considerably diffused by people being surrounded by all sorts of labour saving devices. No thought has to be expended on wondering how their phones are paid for etc etc Got kids? It seems a completely different game to when I grew up. Maybe some of that is my fault - working away from home for 2.5 years and then commuting 4 hours a day for another 3, then being out of work for 2. Its clearly taken its parenting toll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRainy Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 7 minutes ago, reveldevil said: I felt sick once I'd heard, and thought he'd not learned the true value of money, hence my quandary whether to teach him a lesson now, or let him discover it later for himself I can see your quandary, I just feel that there's something sacrosanct about being welcome in the family home, even if you are a bit lazy and a bit crap with money. The prodigal son comes to mind I was very sensible with money as a kid, saved up my pocket money for records, left home at 19 with a full grant, finished my degree with no debt. It's only in my 50s that I've become profligate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McRainy Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 8 minutes ago, HantsRam said: Got kids? I'm the archetypal wicked stepmother! Three, all in their 30s, doing ok. They went through the shitty teenager phase, but sorted themselves out; more, I think, to being shown the value of caring for others than being trained as mini capitalists. I agree, though, it's a harsh and scary world, and kids now have less to look forward to than my generation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 2 minutes ago, Lambchop said: I can see your quandary, I just feel that there's something sacrosanct about being welcome in the family home, even if you are a bit lazy and a bit crap with money. The prodigal son comes to mind I was very sensible with money as a kid, saved up my pocket money for records, left home at 19 with a full grant, finished my degree with no debt. It's only in my 50s that I've become profligate. I guess that's the difference between the generations. He'll always be welcomed in the family home obviously, but now the access to higher education comes at such a cost it's not such an enticing option. He's a sweet, loving boy, and not afraid to get his hands dirty to earn a living, but I get the impression he'd rather be on Love Island etc than really graft for a living. That's probably more an indictment of my wife's and I's parenting skills than he though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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