ariotofmyown

@David and/or other posters. I never listen to podcast in past, but if there was ever to be another one, then one based around mental health could really make a difference to the world beyond this forum.
Some incredibly emotional stories on here and you can see how this community has helped people going through tough times. It acts as a good counter balance to the football and politics thread...no one posts any rubbish on this thread and it shows nearly everyone is pretty decent really.

@David and/or other posters. I never listen to podcast in past, but if there was ever to be another one, then one based around mental health could really make a difference to the world beyond this forum.
Some incredibly emotional stories on here and you can see how this community has helped people going through tough times. It acts as a good counter balance to the football and politics thread...no one posts any rubbish on this thread and it shows nearly everyone is pretty decent really.

Elis James & John Robins have a 5Live one called "How do you cope, with Elis & John"
I've only heard snippets so far but it sounds really good how they discuss (in an entertaining way) how well known people have coped with difficult stuff, from depression to bereavement etc.
Worth a listen.

Yeah, what the duck would all us shift workers do without regular updates whilst we're at work every other Saturday? 
@SaintRam is sooooooo selfish for even suggesting it. I hope his exercise plan fails miserably.
Only joking, mate. You know I appreciate your matchday thread updates. Hope you stick with the plan and get to a game.... 

I have deliberately ignored this thread.
I didn't want to read it because I knew it would awake the demons going through my head.
I asked a fellow poster for advice and he suggested that it might help if I discussed it on here with fellow Rams.
There's some top people on this forum, I mean really intelligent, kind, sensible folk who love Derby County but also offer great advice and support to complete strangers. David asked me to be a Mod on here and I was humbled because I'd never done owt like this before but I hope I am a fair bloke who understands when people need to vent and know the difference between Derby fans and trolls who come on here to slag our beautiful football club off.
I have been through some serious stress over the last year or two and its made me think. I always thought I'm the one to cope with everything, I have three younger brothers who I think I should look after, I am a shift manager who has responsibility for over 120 people at work every day, but I reached a personal limit when me Dad passed away last year. I was sorting everything out for everyone when I suddenly hit a wall. It was like wow...I can't cope, wtf, I really went down hill and I felt I couldn't talk to any one. I'm known as the the rock, the one to go to by family and friends, and all of a sudden I felt useless.
I fought my way through it and I'm OK now but I have absolute top respect for anyone who has the courage to share their issues with us all. I am ashamed that I never thought it took real bravery to share your deepest concerns.
Thanks @Alpha

Thanks Revil, didn’t post it as it’s been a bit of a whirlwind these past few weeks. 
These rings cost a bloody fortune, think I’ve got the right one to buy one for though. 
She’s got a cracking pair of ears.
 
 

Sticking this in here. Not posting my backstory again. 
4 months ago it was a challenge to drag me off the sofa to go to the corner shop.
Yesterday I got back from what was a 7hr road trip back from Edinburgh with my now fiancé and today just completed a 7hr tattoo session.
Blows my mind just thinking where I was and where I am.
The sleeve has real meaning throughout, and with 3hrs left to complete the cloud fillers I’m feeling a tad emotional shall we say thinking how far I’ve come. 
Some pics are on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter (day82_) of it wrapped for those that I bore on there, will post the finished sleeve on the 28th.....day before this forums birthday, forum which has been a huge part of my life/recovery thanks to you horrible lot.
For anyone that’s struggling, don’t be afraid to talk, and don’t be afraid to see the doctor. For years I was too proud, too stubborn, too scared to see the doctor, I had visions of medication zombiefying me, told the doc my fears and the only way I can explain it is....I’m now me, the real me.
It’s ok to not be ok, but don’t settle for not being ok and drowning in male pride, life’s too short to scramble your way through it. My PM’s are always open. 

According to Google it's on All 4

Apologies if it has been raised before but I sat through Game Changers on Netflix last night. As someone who is a major carnivore and always poo poos anything remotely veggie or vegan, I have to say the bloody thing has me questioning now what I bung down my throat. Quite a compelling programme. Well worth a watch. 

Apologies if been mentioned earlier but I've seen first two episodes Watchmen and it is awesome.

Scrooge with Guy Pearce. Ending a bit of a damp squib compared to my favourite version from 1970 starrring Albert Finney but decent overall.

It's a great thread. 
The problem with talking to friends and family is illustrated by this thread.
There isn't one person who knows all the coping mechanisms. 
Trying to say how you feel is much harder than writing it down. 
When people spill it out in this thread it resonates with some folks but not others. But seeing someone spill their thoughts and seeing others pick up the pieces is quite a special thing. It's a beautiful thread. An utterly fecking miserable and heartbreaking kind of beauty. 
I'd like to think there's enough people knocking around here to help those that need an team talk.

Only just read this, Mucker, as I don't venture into the pub very often, but I just wanted to say how very very sorry I am to read this.
Having grown up in very similar circumstances (losing both parents as a teenager) the bond with my sisters is so close and what you describe is my biggest fear in life so I can honestly say that I know how you're feeling right now.
The fact that you are dealing with it so well is amazing, just continue to be there for your family - they will pull you through. 
Look after yourself. A xx 

@Mucker1884 what a tremendously uplifting post given your circumstances. Have the best Christmas you can.
l really enjoy this thread, in fact it’s arguably my favourite which is a bit bizarre really. Rarely a comfortable read, but it does make you reevaluate your own circumstances and so many of the responses warm the heart.
Being the SAD bar steward I am, I have had a pretty tough last 6 weeks but I have arrived in Tenerife today and hope to get 9 days of sunshine to recharge the serotonin batteries which hopefully will get me through to Spring.
To all those who have posted their issues on here over the years, have a very merry Christmas. May 2020 offer some real positive changes for you all.

Hey all,
Thank you all for the kind words, and the caring "reactions".
Without wishing to single anyone out,... I'm not doing too bad, I guess.
Been a busy week of course, hence my lack of activity and acknowledgement on here, and it's fair to say the emotional roller coaster has been running at full capacity, but hey, I'm slowly coming to turns with this emotional stuff these past 4 or 5 years, and may even start to get used to these "crappy Christmases" after the past half dozen years or so!  I hasten to say, there were literally decades of continuously happy ones before that, so I'm fully aware of my blessings, and never lose count of them!
(Weak) apologies for blurting out my feelings to you all last week, but after what we went through 3+ years ago, with my aforementioned granddaughter, I'm fully aware of how selfishly soothing the internet can be... in the right company.! (Lucky for you lot I didn't know you then... I nearly broke the internet!)
For those doubters amongst you, I can assure you it really is "good to talk" in certain situations... and even better when those thoughtful and generous responses come rolling back at yer, so if I have one request, it is that none of you go bottling things up out there.  We may all be strangers on here, but we're all mates too, right!  There is an obvious bond, when all said and done!
Without wishing to bore you, after a couple of days of "taking charge", I'm slowly, but confidently, now passing control to my nephew... sis's only child... who I have to say, is now showing clear signs of maturity and reliability beyond my expectations, if I'm honest.  We're there for him, of course, and we're all chipping in with both the practicalities and the emotionalities (I made that up... obvs!) but he is coping handsomely, as we all are.
There is a Post Mortem involved, and due to the time of year, things are gonna drag out a little, well into the New Year, which ain't ideal of course.  But it is what it is, I guess!
I'm hopeful I'll find time to catch up... and hopefully contribute... to the footy side of these forums (Which let's face it, is the main reason we're all here), but just in case I don't may I just wish you all a Merry Xmas, and a healthy and happy New Year.  Treasure those families of yours, and find time to raise a glass to the memories of all those that we have all lost over the years.
... Oh yeah... and ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEY!
 
DCFC...  No bottling.
dcfcfans... No bottling it up!
xxx
 
 
 
 

I gave a like because you have explained your many emotions so honestly.
Death has an amazing way of making us focus on what’s really important. The love you have for your family is evident and it will help you through.
None of us knows when our time will come. We can either wait for it or enjoy the ride.
My thoughts are with you and those around you.
Take time for your own healing amongst the good deeds you do to help others.
 

So, yer mam dies in her early 40's, when you are 16.  2 years later, yer dad dies, still in his 40's, albeit 49.  This leaves you, as an 18 year old only boy, 3 elder sisters (21, 24 & 27), and the baby of the bunch, little sis who is still only 9 at this stage.
I guess what happens next is you start to wonder... will I manage to live a bit longer than my parents?... who will be the first sibling to cop it... and when!
Those thoughts have never left me.  4 of us have since lived longer than our parents, thankfully.  Baby sis has now lived longer than mum, and is closing in on the age dad was, so all good there, I guess.
I have to admit, on the day I equalled Dad's age, I was a little bit emotional, if truth be told.  Relief?  Guilt?  No idea, but it was a weird feeling!
But the one thing I have literally been dreading since being left an "orphan"... over 39 years ago now... is the first of us siblings going. 
...It happened last night! 

The sister up from me (so the third eldest) lasted until she was 60.... and two months.  I guess we shouldn't moan, given the family history, but I can't describe the gut-wrenching feeling, now the first one of us has gone!  This is the day I have been dreading for over 39 bloody years!
Depressed?  No.  Not in the true sense.
Anxious?  You bet!
Stress?  Not yet, but I'm sure that will come, as we try and help our 24 year old nephew (Sis's only child) through the next few days, weeks, and maybe even years.  Lot's to do.  Lot's to sort out.  Him and us.  There's no-one else to do it!
The first of my siblings gone... out of the blue... no warning!  Suddenly, I no longer feel immortal!
Eldest sis (67 next month) is feeling guilty, not being the first to go!
Baby sis is distraught, and now has to face her first close-relative mourning since becoming a 9 year old orphan!
Being old fashioned, I feel the need to take the lead.  To be practical.  The only boy, and all that!  Time to become a man!  Time to take charge, I guess, and stay strong for my remaining 3 sisters, and my nephew... but I can't help but feel vulnerable this morning, if truth be told.
Thankfully, I have the strongest, most wonderful wife tight by my side, so all is not lost!
I'm sure I'm not the first to lose a sibling, of course, but right now, feeling the way I do, a feeling I've never experienced before, is daunting to say the least.
It feels different to losing a parent.  It feels different to losing a granddaughter at 1 hour old.  Maybe not worse.  Maybe not easier.  But closer, I guess.  More frightening.  Too close for comfort!
Not looking for sympathy.  Just an ear.  Just a shoulder to lean on.  I may be back, I may not.  Having not been through this particular emotion, I really don't know what happens next!
 
PS:
Yes... yesterday's game really was poo, wasn't it!
 

I've had some issues and posted a little about my late wife's cancer, ultimately being bereaved, the struggles I had to cope as a single dad of bereaved children and how it nearly finally broke me and how hard it hit me when my dog got sick this summer. 
I thought I'd just share that I met a lovely widowed lady my age a couple of months ago, and she makes me happy. I make her happy. We're a couple now. Things can and do get better, no matter what life throws at you, you can smile again. Hang in there people.

Just want to make a quick point whilst i think about it because i believe this to be VERY important.
Yesterday, looking back at my activity on the forum i was probably at my wittiest (if i do say so myself) and seemingly happiest.
This couldn't be further from the truth.
I spent most of the day waiting on a phone call from my Mum as my Grandma was in hospital getting results from some tests. All day i was in another world with worry. This forum, in particular the Paddy Padster thread was a huge outlet for me in which i genuinely enjoyed in the midst of worry.
There isn't a particularly happy ending to the day either as it seems the results showed cancer. The rest of the day was a blur of giving support and trying to process the news for myself.
 
I suppose the message is... You really don't know what is going on at the other side of peoples computer screens, so try and be nice to each other.
 
Also, i suppose i should offer a bit of thanks to @David . For giving us this outlet. However, i must stress, this is the only thing you're good for.

So whilst I have my lovely step daughter who I met when she was 2, me and my fiancé have recently found out we are expecting. Whilst I’ve learnt on the job per say and feel I’ve mastered toddlers I was wondering if anyone has any hints/tips when it comes to Babies that they’d be willing to share? The baby book says to look for ‘online dad forums’ but as they’re going to be a future ram I’d rather trust you lot! ?
thanks in advance! 

Missed out on the Nobel Peace Prize though, they weren’t happy.

Sorry to read about your struggles.
The only people alive who haven't crashed and burned when it comes to matters of the heart are those who can't find the courage to admit their feelings.
It hurts and feels weird now, but eventually you'll be glad you told her, regret at not taking a chance can last a lifetime.
I often take on, or get assigned tasks that seem daunting on the face of it, yet most complicated assignments can be broken down into simpler, more achievable targets that eventually add up to a finished project.
If you can take the same approach, split the work into blocks, then tackle the hardest problems first if possible.
Once they are completed, you'll feel mentally it gets easier the further you progress, having broken the back of the task!
Finally, as for being miserable being back in Leeds, that's a perfectly normal reaction to life there, it's only temporary and will disappear when you leave!
 
 

@Paul71 the best thing I ever did when I came off my meds was kick the alcohol habit
I was very similar to where your at at the moment. My daughters teacher made a flippant comment to me about using a phone, my head blew it out of proportion and tried to drink myself to death. After quiting the booze, I found it went hand in hand with the aniexty/depressive states. 
Been off both for 6 months, never felt better. Wasn't a massive drinker but it made a huge difference for me
Hope this helps. 
 

I don't think I can say this without sounding a dick, but I'm going to hope you get it anyway...
I'm comfortably well off, but my missus passed away. I'd reverse those things in a heartbeat.
Life deals harsh cards sometimes; people and employers can be shitbags. You'll get through being skint, so long as you stick together for each other...and then you won't be skint, and you'll be stronger for the shared effort. Good luck SSD.

Reading the last couple of pages has been sad. Don't know what to say to comfort anyone but it'd be nice if @Paul71 and @reverendo de duivel didn't give up the forum.
Take a step back, sure. Be selective with who you talk to on here
But there's far more bullshittery on other social media and in the real world than on here. The names and faces are anonymous but rather than hide the person it just allows people to be themselves more. 
Stick around. You make this place better for others and it would be nice to not know whatever happened to you.