Mick Brolly

Tiger Woods is playing golf with a man from Kilburn in Derbyshire
Tiger Tees off 1st and lands 12 feet from the hole
Kilburn Tees off and hits a hole in one
Tiger turns to Kilburn Man and says "nice Tee Shot"
Kilburn Man looks at his shirt and says "Cheers Yoth"

Original 1987-1988 tracksuit top made by Umbro. Absolute classic this is with a stunning embroidered detailing and right facing ram.

I bought 12 bees from a beekeeper. He gave 13. I told him he'd given one too many but he said "that one's a freebie "

No matter how dull your job there are ways to make it more interesting.

We're living on teams it's as simple as that.
This advert is driving me mad. 
 

We're living on teams it's as simple as that.
This advert is driving me mad. 
 

Watching Maigret for the first time tonight finding it a good watch but struggling to watch Rowan Atkinson without thinking of Mr Bean or captain slackbladder. 

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

750 bog rolls.

My friend Dipstick just told me that he robbed a shop last night.
 "What did you get?" I asked.  "26 pictures," he smiled, showing me.
"The cheapest one is worth over £180,000."
I said, "Mate, these are from an estate agents."    
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 I couldn't believe it today, when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't actually mine.
She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school.
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My brother took being sent to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him,
then smeared the walls with his own faeces.......

 I'll never play Monopoly with him again
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 My wife said she wanted to experiment in the bedroom...
So I got her a chemistry set and went to the pub.   
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I came home from the pub four hours late last night.
"Where the heck have you been?" screamed my wife.
I said, "I've been playing poker with some blokes."
"Playing poker with some blokes?" she repeated.
"Well, you can pack your bags and go!"

 "So can you," I said. "This isn't our house any more."                 
 

My wife said to me, "You weren't even listening were you?"
I  thought, "That's a strange way to start a conversation!"

750 bog rolls.

750 bog rolls.

750 bog rolls.

750 bog rolls.

750 bog rolls.

750 bog rolls.

Donald Trump as been encouraging church leaders to drink domestos. 
He has been charged with a bleach of the priest. 

Is that all lazy git. 

Is that all lazy git. 

Is that all lazy git. 

Is that all lazy git.