Anag Ram

3 hours ago, SKRam said:

I don't blame them if they've both admitted it's for the cash. Fair play!  Collins says he wants to buy more land for his animals

Should be behind the Kings Arms in the car park if they just want a scrap. Should not be encouraged as a professional event, i.e. one where people have to pay.

7 hours ago, ramit said:

i wish i could do as you fine folks, give good advice to those in need and be there for them.  i read what a troubled forum member writes and i want to help out and write something sensible or comforting but i just can't do it.  Have tried a few times but always deleted it.  i used to think it was because i am too self obsessed, some sort of psycho, that i don't really care about people, but i am understanding it better now, i don't feel i am worthy to give any advice or comfort, it feels fraudulent.  It's self loathing really. 

i am going through a tough couple of days now, hope it won't be much longer than that, it usually isn't.  It's just so frustrating, wanting to spread kindness and be supportive and being unable to.  i know it would also help me if i could do it. 

You who give of yourself to alleviate the pain of your fellow forum members, i admire you very much.  You possess a quality of great value.

 

I don't think you could have explained how it feels more articulately than you have done in your post.

That sentiment would help anyone reading it or hearing it.

It's not words that heal - it's empathy.

7 hours ago, HuddersRam said:

Been a while since I contributed to this thread and things have changed just a tiny bit since I did back in January.

Diagnosed with depression by the doctor back at the start of April and put on Fluoxetine. I've been going through counselling talking therapy sessions as well, stupidly thinking things would turn around quickly.

Unsurprisingly they're not and since starting medication, I've felt even worse. I've had horrible feelings of guilt which have been racking my brain and body on a daily basis. Countless times a day I'll break down in tears no matter where I am, just struggling to comprehend the mess I've got myself into. Broke my own record today with seven separate trips to the bathroom stalls.

I've got a girlfriend who I love to bits and she knows everything I'm going through and is being incredibly supportive. But over the last few days, I've noticed that I don't really feel anything when it comes to love or passion. I've read about the side effects of Anti-depressants and how they can take away emotions and feelings and I'm terrified they're going to ruin the best thing I have ever had with her - all because I'm not thinking properly.

My mind is constantly telling me I'm a bad person and regularly makes things up to further put the point across. These I could just about deal with, but it's as if it's trying to now turn me against the person I love the most. I've vowed to come off the medication because they've made me feel worse than I ever imagined I could - suicidal thoughts and feelings of worthlessness. I've been on them for six weeks and can't face them for a day more before I do or say something stupid. For me personally, I'd rather take the feelings I had before than have my own mind lie to me and feel nothing.

It's a really strange situation to be in is depression. I always thought it was something that was easily treatable - "oh it's only the mind, it's easy to control" sort of thing. I now realise mental illnesses are the most horrendous things you can get. Has anybody else had these sort of side effects from the pills?

Sounds a horrible time for you right now.

I hope that in time you will appreciate what your girlfriend and others see in you.

In the meantime please be honest with your counsellor about how you truly feel as well as telling your GP because it sounds like your medication needs to be reviewed.

Wilder and co will have liked seeing his wobble but the kid showed real fight in hanging in there and the end was explosive.

Credit too to Klitschko who kept getting up and who has been a great champion.

Very enjoyable.

Drives me nuts when you're in a group of people at a restaurant and after 15 minutes of idle chat, when the waiter comes to the table to ask what they would like to eat/ drink they react with total surprise and say 'Oh I don't know, I haven't looked'.

Some amazingly brave and honest posts on here about anxiety.

It can be crippling I know and I can't imagine what it must be like to suffer at that level.

One technique which has achieved some success is tapping.

It's not for the cynical. You either give it a real go or not at all.

http://www.drivingpeace.com/tapping-for-anxiety-does-this-simple-stress-relief-technique-really-work/#.WJtXmslFDqA

I hope you guys find something which helps.

22 hours ago, Mostyn6 said:

Arrival : 7/10. Lot of hype surrounding this film, it does grab you and tantalise you, but for me, ultimately underwhelming in the end. Worth a watch, but not worth the hype. Not a patch on Interstellar.

T2: Trainspotting. 7/10. A must see for me. The first film was epic at a great time in my life, this was entertaining, great soundtrack and surprisingly poignant in some areas, but didn't deliver what I thought it would deliver. Although perhaps I'm glad it didn't cliche. Bit disappointed that certain character didn't have more involvement.

 

Saw arrival a couple of months ago and thought it was interesting as a comment on world politics but forgettable as a film.

Just returned home from watching T2. Great performances from the old guard, notably Ewen Bremner and Robert Carlisle. Not quite a classic like the original but a terrific soundtrack and a brilliant toilet cubicle scene.

I don't have the technical nous to do it myself but I would be interested to see a poll of the players we are currently being linked with to gauge which three (if we use that as a reasonable expectation), fans would like.

Last weekend watched:

La La Land - don't like musicals, don't like jazz, but thought this film was lovely. Feel good movie with great performances, especially from Emma Stone. 9/10

A monster callls - took a while to win me over and I felt the 'monster' was a little overpowering and distracting but young Lewis Mac Dougall was amazing and the film is truly touching. 7.5/10

4 hours ago, loughboroughRAM said:

This week marks the 2nd anniversary of a very close mate going missing and eventually being found in a river. The intervening period has been tough for so many reasons and I've never really aired my true feelings until recently. 

To put it into perspective I caught the school bus with this guy every day for 7 years, played football and cricket together even after we finished school, went to gigs together and went on many nights out together - even born on the same day in QMC would you believe it. He introduced me to my then girlfriend and we were always kind of close. Then one January morning in 2015 I get back from a lecture to my missus sat on my bed telling me she has some news and I'll need to take a seat. Even though I knew what was coming, nothing ever prepares you for that news. Obviously this rocked me quite a bit having never really had anything like this happen to me before but over the next few months I kind of managed to get a grip on it. 

That autumn I moved to Germany for 6 months on a placement for my course at uni and this is where things began to get difficult. Earning very little it was hard to properly get out and about, especially when you're in a massive country where you literally know nobody. This was the beginning of my depression - nothing to this day quite compares to the loneliness I experienced and it was during this time, when I was alone with my thoughts that I began to think more and more of my friend. I was lucky in that I had a caring girlfriend who'd Skype me every night but once those calls ended I was alone again and even during the calls I began to feel like she wasn't there and that she was just on a screen and that I was hundreds of miles from anyone I knew and loved. I got through those months by telling myself that it would be over soon and I'd be home in a couple of months and it would all be ok. Wrong.

Once back in the UK I had another internship lined up - unpaid except my expenses, meaning I had to work a second job to earn some sort of income. This meant long days leaving the house at 7am and getting home at 1am with 30 minutes to get ready for my evening shift. I also worked weekends as it was a busy pub/restaurant which meant I had no real free time. It began to put a strain on relationship with my long term girlfriend and after 4 happy years together, stress drove me to ending it. At the time I guess I didn't realise the state I was in but looking back I can recognise how empty and soulless I had become. Again I got through this period thinking it would be fine and I'd be back at uni soon and I'll be able to relax. Once more I was wrong.

I pretty much immediately realised I had made a mistake ending things with my ex (who is also the same uni as me) and tried to reconcile things after she had spend a good 2 months trying to change my mind but I was too stubborn at the time. Unfortunately so much time had elapsed that she was no longer interested, despite my best efforts. She insisted on wanting to be friends but claimed to not want a relationship at the time, meaning we spent loads of time together on what I feel was false pretenses in many ways. This wasn't helped by my issues of inferiority and self confidence (its fair to say I was punching with this girl) which was one of the causes of me ending things as I was convinced that sooner or later she'd sack me off for someone else. All this at the same time as trying to handle an insane workload on my course which is notoriously heavy in terms of the workload dragged me further down into a pit of despair.

It was a this stage that I began to realise I was at my lowest point. I was failing assignments or behind in some aspect and began to have really negative thoughts. I'm a fairly rational guy and always manage to find reason which prevents me from doing something daft but there has been a couple of times when I've quite literally been peering over the edge. I decided to get help and see someone (this was in November) through my university counselling service but they couldn't sort me out until the new year. I ended up having the worst Christmas ever, I just felt so alien and lonely even though I was with my family etc I just felt like I didn't want to be there. I came home between Christmas and New Year (being half Danish we spent Christmas in over there) and hoped I'd maybe be happier but nope, still felt awful and alone.

I'vended up having to take a break from my studies to get my head straight as the way I was going I'd have wasted my degree and most definitely found myself in a darker place than I am currently. Loneliness is such a killer, no one really seems to understand how it truly feels - the same goes for depression. People seem to think it's just a phase and that it'll pass but it doesn't work like that. Two years ago before my friend passed, I was an upbeat and optimistic person in every aspect whereas now I rarely manage to see the positives in many things. At that time I would've laughed anyone out of town who suggested I'd be in the situation I'm now in because I was so naive when it came to stuff like this.

Sorry for the essay just needed to get that off my chest.

2 hours ago, True Ram said:

Good luck mate

Hi Loughborough Ram.

Your story is very moving and I'm glad you have chosen to share it.

You have suffered a number of losses. I work for Cruse bereavement and in my time there I have learned that those who share their experience with trained bereavement volunteers can gain a better understanding of themselves in relation to their loss.

I know they have offices in Derby and Leicester should you wish to investigate.

I wish you all the best and hope you find a way through this difficult time.

Just now, r4derby said:

Leicester have today signed another forward...Ulloa anyone?

Or Okazaki 

27 minutes ago, KBB said:

Eh?

villa already own him mate.

Whoops- that'll teach me to read things carefully.

Gestede to Villa for £6m. Sounds a good deal for them.

2 hours ago, Paul71 said:

The sad thing is its not just the young....middle aged people are addicted too, cant wait to check their text or check facebook to see what pointless thing someone has posted.

I hate when i see people giving more importance to their phone than the human being they are interacting with in person.

Everyone is obsessed with what other people have got. They feel hard done by and tense.

Often they are unaware that people would love their life.

Wonder how much Southampton would want for Shane Long?

Not getting many starts and has a lot of competition.

Would be great if we could afford him.

Would rather have Norman Wisdom.

Perennial underachiever who can't hold down a place.

Baird is doing well and we are in for Paterson.

Transfer priorities should be elsewhere. 

LB, CM, CF and a Forestieri or similar who can link midfield and attack.

SawThe Revenant on Sky movies at the weekend  - twice. 

Wow! Amazing scenes.

I have no idea how good Bogle is but it's always difficult to assess how good strikers are until they come up against well organised defences.

Often in the lower leagues you get loads of space.

For every Vardy there are 100 Dickinsons. 

Has anyone seen anything of Conor Chaplin at Portsmouth since he scored against us?

19 and attracting attention at Bournemouth

Better chance of playing with us.

Just now, Ashz09 said:

All the time I feel worthless, Un-Motivated, Fatigue, Tired, Stressed, Keep having headaches now and again. I seem to blame myself for the way my life is and I have to get on with it. Constantly irritated I keep flogging it off like it's fine I'm meant to feel this way. Some of it I blame on having Type 1 Diabetes as it can be due to that. I just feel rock bottom I have a great skill set regarding I.T. and problem and my employer keeps promising a pay rise which also doesn't help with myself esteem. My whole familys near enough suffered from it and I'm trying my best not to add to that number but it's hard.

I guess in someways I like praise makes me feel great and socializing which neither have I really had I used to rely on both from work. I get neither now the place is getting smaller and smaller.

I've been advised to get another job and I'm worth at least £4,000-£5,000 more then what I'm on but keep getting rejected. Just started to have enough everyday is a struggle at work I'm going from a 3 man team to a 1 man team and been told no helps coming in and to get on with it. I'm fine with that as I want to prove myself I guess and don't want them to feel I'm not capable (I'm sounding like this is my cover letter for a company to feel sorry for me!). At home my Daughter keeps playing up, not sleeping properly which causes me to have hardly any sleep + Diabetes sugar going up due to this along with stress. Missus is getting stressed a lot shouting etc which I can't blame her.

I've read a great piece at work about depression and I'm well known for keeping my emotions in but it made me feel like crying (Then had to suck it up because someone came for help with work!). I tick most of the boxes for depressing (Usually I'm in denial but starting to think I have it.) but feel bad as well because the contracts losing money and my colleague works 3/5 days so leaves no one at work for technical support or WMS support.

All in all I needed to write this I'm unsure what to do or what to say or whether it even matters any more. I've been not stop for the past god knows how many years with many set backs I've just took on board and told myself what ever get on with it. I think everything is catching up now. Am I finally realizing I might have to get this diagnosed? Unsure!?

If you want to explore the way you feel then I would recommend trying counselling/ psychotherapy.

Sometimes just saying it out loud is a relief. A good qualified therapist will truly listen.

I wish you all the best 

Watched Nocturnal Animals last night. I haven't seen a film which was so up itself in a long time. A shame because there are some really good scenes and Michael Shannon is terrific as the law enforcement officer.

The story is about a conceptual artist (a slightly wooden Amy Adams) in an unhappy second marriage in their massive glass house (one of many glaring allegories) who receives a manuscript of a new book written by her ex-husband (Jake Gyllenhall).

It's a sad and violent tale of a family (which could well have been their family) and as she reads it she is affected and reassesses her life in light of the guilt she feels at their break-up 19 years ago.

The scenes flick from the opulence and fakeness of Adams' world and the dusty violent desert in which the books violence takes place.

Having slagged it off I must say my wife and I discussed its content a lot on the way home. It's one of those films which is so different you won't know quite what to make of it.

One to divide opinion. Critics love it. The couple in front of us burst out laughing when it finished!

7/10.

On 5 October 2016 at 07:33, Simsy said:

and now taking cocaine to deal with his mental issue...

Sad isn't it?

I've never been a fan of Audley Harrison but he spoke very well on the perils of boxing the other day.

The dangers of head trauma are well-documented but it's the heightened sense of power which can be the most damaging. What do you do to replicate that self esteem when the fighting stops?

Those who were your 'friends' when you were the centre of attention and earning lots of money suddenly disappear. Those acting as your agent don't want to help you through the day.

If you're not careful, the perfect body you built up through hours of hard work turns quickly to fat and you look like every other guy of your age, except you've got a flat nose and a lisp. Those corner girls don't wink at you now.

I would imagine it can be a very lonely place and I hope plans for mental health support come to fruition.

It will be interesting to see if women's boxing can avoid such outcomes.

18 hours ago, eddie said:

<beer nerd>

Leffe Blond is a pale ale - it is top-fermented using a variant of saccharomyces cerevisiae, whereas lagers are all bottom-fermented and use a variant of saccharomyces uvarum.

</beer nerd>

Saying that, I agree - @Angry Ram ought to use Leffe as an entry-level introduction to Belgian beers. Then go for a Duvel and see where it takes him.

Can we just have a beer thread?

The football stuff just gets me down!

On 31 August 2016 at 21:32, TimRam said:

David Brent: Life on the Road - The master of cringe and "digging a hole" is back. Very very funny...rare to find so many laughs in almost every scene in a Comedy film. If you like David Brent in the Office you will enjoy this. 9/10.

I found it a hard watch. For me it was cringeworthy rather than funny - that's not to say that it was anything other than well-written. Ricky Gervais challenges us with his subject matter. He divides opinion and I think he's happy with that. 

I'm glad I saw it but left the cinema with a knot in my stomach. 

Still worthy of 7/10.

Pearson responds to claims of cliques in the team by naming a 1-3-1-2-1-2 formation