A thread about why a lot of what you remember is wrong

[Elwood P Dowd]

2 hours ago, Crewton said:

Aye, and the number of people's Grandads who were in the Dublin GPO at Easter 1916 too!

If not the GPO then it’s normally Jacobs Biscuit Factory.

[May Contain Nuts]

Do you mean to tell me that Germany didn't really win WW2?

Well this is awkward....

[Bob The Badger]

2 hours ago, Tamworthram said:

I don’t think the brain rewrites history, it’s just that our memory can’t cope with all the fine details of everything we have experienced or seen. Unless, as @JoetheRam says, it’s something we had a personal involvement in, the brain probably only stores the key information. For example, at the time of 9-11 I was working in Wales but I couldn’t tell you which of my branches I was visiting. If you forced me to come up with an answer I’d make an educated guess but might well get it wrong. With regard to the Challenger disaster, well that was obviously a major event in history but where people were and what they were doing when they heard the news is pretty insignificant really (unless it was noteworthy or unusual in it’s own right) and not necessarily worth taking up space in our mid to long term memory.

Even with personal experiences, we might only remember the key bits. Referring back to Joe’s scenario again, we might remember who we had our first real kiss with and might swear blind it was behind the bike sheds at school. It might turn out there has never been a bike shed at that school but, in the scheme of things, where the kiss took place is relatively unimportant in most cases unless it was particularly unusual again.

With regard to things like people claiming to have attended the Beatles first gig, there are two other things at play. Firstly they may just be trying to show off by making a claim that can’t really be disproved. Secondly, there is always a chance they thought the gig they went to was the Beatles first when, in actual fact, it wasn’t.

The brain struggles tremendously to accept when it gets things wrong because it's an existential threat. As such it will delete things, change things and refuse to remember things.

Nobody does this knowingly, but the brain is in permanent survival mode and it will do what it needs, which is why it will often shut down memories of trauma.

Scientists literally describe it as rewriting history.

I'm not smart, I'm just regurgitating what I read.

I'm not saying that where we were when certain events happened has any importance, it was just an example of how memory is very fragile. 

And of course you're right that people brag and make crap up to look good. I'm not disputing that in the least. Again it was merely an example, that some people will genuinely think that.

My wife and her mum were once arguing about the origins of a butter knife.

I told my mother-in-law about how we often get memories wrong to which she nodded her head and said (and I kid you not) yes I know that, but I know this is true because I can remember it.

 

[Miggins]

Dunblane was the worst for me. I was an infant teacher of 5 - 7 years olds and when I turned on my class TV at about 3,30 and saw the news I felt so sick. There but for the grace of God went any of us teachers who love and protect our pupils and would willingly put our life on the line if necessary for those who have been entrusted into our care.

[BaaLocks]

2 hours ago, Turk Thrust said:

"We didn't realise we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun."

Sorry, but that's a load of Pooh

[Elwood P Dowd]

30 minutes ago, Bob The Badger said:

The brain struggles tremendously to accept when it gets things wrong because it's an existential threat. As such it will delete things, change things and refuse to remember things.

Nobody does this knowingly, but the brain is in permanent survival mode and it will do what it needs, which is why it will often shut down memories of trauma.

Scientists literally describe it as rewriting history.

I'm not smart, I'm just regurgitating what I read.

I'm not saying that where we were when certain events happened has any importance, it was just an example of how memory is very fragile. 

And of course you're right that people brag and make crap up to look good. I'm not disputing that in the least. Again it was merely an example, that some people will genuinely think that.

My wife and her mum were once arguing about the origins of a butter knife.

I told my mother-in-law about how we often get memories wrong to which she nodded her head and said (and I kid you not) yes I know that, but I know this is true because I can remember it.

 

From what you describe the memory/brain try’s to make sense of things, its bit like Pareidolia, seeing faces/familiar shapes in the clouds etc, there are no faces in the clouds but the brain tries to recognise a pattern and fills in the blanks for you.

 

[TigerTedd]

4 hours ago, BaaLocks said:

A lot of the explanation is down to the fact that when you remember something you are not remembering it, you are remembering the last time you remembered it. It's like a rewrite of your memory bank every time you recount that memory.

Take a moment to consider a memory from a long time ago of a friend or family member for have known for a long time. You don't remember them as they were at the time of that memory because your have rewritten your memory of that person subsequently.

Which is why, in law, testimony of events long passed are so flawed, as suggested above.

I’ve often theorised that. I like to spin a good yarn. As far as I know most of the stories of my youth are completely 100% true. But I couldn’t hand on heart day they weren’t just a simulacra (I’ve wanted to correctly use that word in a sentence since I learnt it) of the original memory. A copy of a copy of a copy. Where I remember the story, and the telling of the story, rather than the memory itself. Kind of like being a legend in my own life time. I can definitely remember robbing from the rich and giving to the poor while wearing green tights. Or was that someone else?

[TigerTedd]

10 minutes ago, Elwood P Dowd said:

From what you describe the memory/brain try’s to make sense of things, its bit like Pareidolia, seeing faces/familiar shapes in the clouds etc, there are no faces in the clouds but the brain tries to recognise a pattern and fills in the blanks for you.

 

We don’t actually see most of the things we think we see. The obvious one is that we actually see everything upside down and the brain readjusts it. So everything we see has been photoshopped in some way by the brain. We have blind spots, but we don’t just have big black bits in our vision (unless you have a visual impairment) the brain just fills in the blanks as best it can. We have no idea it’s happening. 

[TigerTedd]

2 hours ago, Turk Thrust said:

"We didn't realise we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun." - Winnie the Pooh

I often tell my kids were making memories. We’re doing it right now at Disney land. I do look forward to seeing how they’ll remember these times in 20 years. 

[Tamworthram]

53 minutes ago, Bob The Badger said:

The brain struggles tremendously to accept when it gets things wrong because it's an existential threat. As such it will delete things, change things and refuse to remember things.

Nobody does this knowingly, but the brain is in permanent survival mode and it will do what it needs, which is why it will often shut down memories of trauma.

Scientists literally describe it as rewriting history.

I'm not smart, I'm just regurgitating what I read.

I'm not saying that where we were when certain events happened has any importance, it was just an example of how memory is very fragile. 

And of course you're right that people brag and make crap up to look good. I'm not disputing that in the least. Again it was merely an example, that some people will genuinely think that.

My wife and her mum were once arguing about the origins of a butter knife.

I told my mother-in-law about how we often get memories wrong to which she nodded her head and said (and I kid you not) yes I know that, but I know this is true because I can remember it.

 

I’m sure you’re right but could it not still be case of “not bothering” to store some of the trivial details? I get that the brain may well shut down traumatic memories but, in the examples you gave (9/11 and Challenger) surely the trauma for most of us wasn’t where we were when we heard the news or what you were doing, it was the news itself. I’m 100% not an expert but my theory is that sometimes trivial things are not embedded in the medium and long term memories deeply enough to be recalled some years later especially if another element of the event is massively more significant. 
 

Get us having an intelligent conversation. Whatever happened to the LR out rubbish and why can’t we score a goal for love or money? ?

[Ram-Alf]

I couldn't tell you the day of the week my 2 children were born, I can decide what I want for lunch that day in the morning, But forget what it was I wanted by the time lunch arrives, Challenger I wouldn't know what year it happened, I can remember things from 30/40/50 years ago, But what I did last Tuesday I couldn't recount, I remember food prices and how they change on a weekly basis, The year Princess Diana died...not a clue, But remember an ice cream vendor trying to rip me off in Hyde Park in the 90s

[Normanton Lad]

There are some people who really do remember things as they happened. For example, Ben Pridmore, who lives in Derby, had to prove that his memories were accurate to become world memory champion. I have very clear memories of what I was doing on 9/11 and when I first heard that Kennedy had been assassinated. I'm good at remembering conversations and I also seem to be good at remembering quotes and poetry. Most of this is due to me thinking a lot about the past and having inner monologues when I go for my walks. Thinking is just talking to yourself and if you don't think about something you will forget it.

There are some remarkable people who claim to be able to remember nearly everything about their lives.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHeEQ85m79I

However, I do think Bob the Badger is right when he says a lot of people are just making up stuff. 

 

[Crewton]

Challenger - at the time, I lived less than 100 yards from where I worked. There was a Greengrocer's shop between my workplace and home which I regularly popped into after work. He had a little black and white TV in the shop, and that day it was showing playbacks of the shuttle blowing up. Everyone was gobsmacked. 

Princess Diana - I was in bed with the missus (mine, in case anyone was wondering). We had a little portable TV in the bedroom, and learned about the accident when we turned it on after waking. 

The M1 aircrash at Kegworth. I drove past the scene about 30 minutes after it happened. The sight of an aircraft on a motorway embankment with scores of rescue workers swarming around it is a sight I wish my brain would forget. 

[Ram-Alf]

4 hours ago, Crewton said:

 

The M1 aircrash at Kegworth. I drove past the scene about 30 minutes after it happened. The sight of an aircraft on a motorway embankment with scores of rescue workers swarming around it is a sight I wish my brain would forget. 

Now I'd not forgotten this, But I know remember it, Sunday evening, I was a delivery driver at the time, The detours I had to make for the next few days caused my customers some grief, But once i'd explained they were fine.

Iran Embassy Siege, April during the Snooker final...great viewing at the time. 

[Crewton]

5 minutes ago, Unlucky Alf said:

Now I'd not forgotten this, But I know remember it, Sunday evening, I was a delivery driver at the time, The detours I had to make for the next few days caused my customers some grief, But once i'd explained they were fine.

Iran Embassy Siege, April during the Snooker final...great viewing at the time. 

It WAS a Sunday evening. I was driving back south after spending new year with the folks. Contrary to my usual routine, I stopped for petrol at the garage that used to be at the Shardlow end of the dual carriageway that led to J24. I worked out afterwards that if I hadn't stopped, I'd have passed the location around the time the crash happened.... 

[Chester40]

9/11 I remember because I was in Liverpool Town center as the story broke and we bought a sandwich and the person on the till said 'They think someone has flown planes into the twin towers'. ..and I confidently said 'that can't be true, that would be the biggest disaster in history '...

We then walked into a silent pub and it was on the big screen with a handful of people watching.

I'm 100% sure of that...just because of the extraordinary nature and my initial cynicism. 

I'm generally very good at remembering things but I think that's partly because I live in my head too much....to the detriment of living and enjoying the moment. My missus is the opposite, she is carefree, forgets everything, stresses about nothing and is much the happier for it.

[Ram-Alf]

1 hour ago, Crewton said:

It WAS a Sunday evening. I was driving back south after spending new year with the folks. Contrary to my usual routine, I stopped for petrol at the garage that used to be at the Shardlow end of the dual carriageway that led to J24. I worked out afterwards that if I hadn't stopped, I'd have passed the location around the time the crash happened.... 

Yep seeing the plane broken in 2/3 parts was jaw dropping and still people walked away but plenty still lost their lives sadly, J24 was closed for 3/4 days but here my memory can't remember how long it actually was?‍♀️ 

[Bob The Badger]

2 hours ago, Chester40 said:

I'm 100% sure of that...just because of the extraordinary nature and my initial cynicism. 

Almost everybody is 100% sure of their own flash bulb memories and there is always a because....

That is the very nature of them and why scientists are so intrigued by them.

 

[Chester40]

1 hour ago, Bob The Badger said:

Almost everybody is 100% sure of their own flash bulb memories and there is always a because....

That is the very nature of them and why scientists are so intrigued by them.

 

Agreed mate.  I'd still die on this one though....but I'm also sure some of the more peripheral details would surprise me.

 

[GboroRam]

I remember where I was when I heard Diana died. 

I was watching the news.