Limerick Day

[MickD]

 

 

Nicholson thinks he's a writer,

He really should have stayed quieter,

And we'd like to, by heck,

Put our hands 'round his neck,

And squeeze it tighter and tighter.

 

 

Edited May 12, 2021 by Boycie
Removed first Limerick as had bad google adwords in it.

[LeedsCityRam]

There once was a man called Mel

Bought his local team cos they were swell

He chucked around cash

And players repaid him with a car crash

Now the club is as dodgy as hell

[MrPlinkett]

There once was a man called keogh 

who went for a drink or three oh

he didn't have to walk far

but he got in the car

and ended up with a ducked up knee oh

[ck-]

4 minutes ago, MrPlinkett said:

and ended up with a ducked up knee oh

And ended up with m two dot three oh. 

[MrPlinkett]

there once was a man called Rooney 

who's known to be a bit of a looney

he once was good

but now hes a dud

and his win rate at Derby is puny 

[Rampant]

He wanted a media stunt

So started this Derby witch hunt

It is clear as can be

To all and sundry

Steve Gibson's an absolute hypocrite 

 

[roboto]

There once was a man who used Bing

To search for just about anything

But it’s 2021

And he’s the only one

That doesn’t know Google’s a thing.

[Dean (hick) Saunders]

There is a poo team down road.

Who’s supporters have webbed fingers and toes.

Their pink stadium’s a wreck but they say “what the heck”.

Why any one follows them who knows!

 

WE HATE FOREST... WE HATE FOREST....

[Mucker1884]

There was an ex Ram nicknamed "Keesey",
Who once drank so much he felt queasy.
He jumped in a Merc,
which then went with a jerk,
Earning 2 million quid is that easy!

[MrPlinkett]

there once was a man called Morris 

who made us a hell of a promise 

but his team are now poo

because hes not got a clue 

and hes proved hes a bit of a novice 

[RadioactiveWaste]

There was a potato called Wayne,

Who caused us nothing but pain,

But 32 Red said "you've made your bed"

So go online to complain.

[Highgate]

There once was a club from Derby,

Whose players all loved to party,

While the owner broke every convention

the manager shows little invention,

Will somebody please buy this poor club from Derby.

[Rev]

There was a young man called Wayne,

Who's girl liked the taste of champagne,

But with a drink he'd get bolder,

And the hookers got older, 

Though the false hips were really a pain.

 

[RadioactiveWaste]

The govnering body is the EFL,

With axes to grind against Mel,

Cheered on by smoggies,

The bitterest Tees,

They failed and went back to hell.

[Mucker1884]

A young woman called Lady Godiva,

Once bent down to pick up a fiver.

She had long golden hair,

a bum that was bare,

And a great pair of lungs, like a diver.

 

[MackworthRamIsGod]

There was an old man called Shteeve 

Who dreamed of the champions shleeg 

He left for United 

Geordies got him excited

And now his hair is severely fatigued 

 

Edited May 12, 2021 by MackworthRamIsGod

[Inverurie Ram]

Oh what a lovely day,

We've had snow, and lots of rain in May,

Even when we thought we were safe,

The EFL came back out to play,

But initially a court of law, said we'd done everything OK,

So the EFL should have apologised to us, and simply just gone away,

But the idiots, that some how run our beautiful game, decided again, to try and ruin the club that we pay,

Premier League Teams break all the rules (Man Utd, Chelsea etc) and a point deduction, never, will land for them on any day,

So here come the EFL again, this time they will get their way, to ruin another club, instead of protecting it, but hey?

Sky Sports ex Wednesday player gets to comentate as his side fail to stay, whilst Cardiff City help where we lay,

Our fans turn up to the ground to sing in support, whilst others opt to type on their computers that they should stay away,

Players celebrate with our fans with a beer and a cheer to get over such relief in the rain, whilst a Ram or too enjoy such from Spain,

Our flag man asks MM and SP to tell us that our club is not going down the drain,

A club statement is made, but for some, that is not enough, as the fear of admin, liquidation, another failed takeover maybe at bay,

We all love this club, breathe this club, love, life and unity, white and black flares, banners, flags, noise and real passion from our fans is a good strong thing on every day,

So we will stay loud and proud and beat the incredible lousy football money making ignorant bigots, the Daily Mail, the EFL and all the rest that choose to attack The Derby Way,

And this could go on forever, more than 48 hours, but I think I've had my say,

We've got to wait a few months to start again, as it's only May

Time for another and another little dram, pour me another,

Exit Inverurie Ram............

anyone for a chop suey?

Edited May 12, 2021 by Inverurie Ram

[RadioactiveWaste]

Love John Cooper Clarke.

Always like his one about steve gibson:

 

[Mucker1884]

I once saw my mate on a week day,

Who said that he'd seen the white Pele.

When I asked "Was it Wayne"?

He did laugh, my mate Duane,

Then he went back to Yorkshire, to play.

[MrPlinkett]

there once was a man called keogh

who drank far too much vino

he cried on the telly

because he a Nelly

and ended up with the heave oh