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You or someone you know.

One of my mates tried to save some money at the weekend by not getting his Mrs’s cat cremated instead he put it in the fire pit while she was at work.

Needless to say when she got in he was captured.

Daft Bamford.

Edited by Van Cone De Head

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  • DarkFruitsRam7
    DarkFruitsRam7

    Need I say?

  • Steve How Hard?
    Steve How Hard?

    Taken a goats head mask to Wembley for a play-off final.

  • DarkFruitsRam7
    DarkFruitsRam7

    To be fair, I've reached a point where I'd pretty much consider some of the people on here as mates.  I'm quite an honest person so I didn't really think twice about saying it. Plus, the event wa

Is this going to turn into one of those threads where everything daft was always  "a mate".  Like the time "a mate" went to A&E with something showing up on an xray where it shouldn't be?

***disclaimer - this is neither me nor "a mate"***

6 minutes ago, Steve How Hard? said:

Taken a goats head mask to Wembley for a play-off final.

I'm glad you've confessed that most egregious of sins. You may be forgiven.

Put my foot through a steel meshed pane of glass one drunken Xmas Eve, celebrating my 18th Birthday.

Didn't feel a thing, walked around a mile home, then nearly gagged when taking my new boots off when my fingers slipped inside the gaping hole where my Achilles tendon once resided.

Quick visit to hospital, ruined a consultants Christmas dinner by having surgery at 2pm (although he did steal my new CK pants as recompense), six months in plaster, 3 months of physio, a whole host of resultant problems including multiple blood clots in the same leg due to the injuries occured, resulting in a lifetime on Warfarin.

The thing that I regret the most, I'd bagged an invite to Minsky's NYE party in the company of the most gorgeous student of the college I worked at, and I'd not even worked for it, she asked me!

Instead I got discharged from the DRI at 4pm, and accompanied my dad to the Angler's in Spondon for the festivities.

She never even signed my cast in the end!

 

As kids my younger brother and me tried to make bread with icing sugar, flour, salt and water. Then grilled it. Not good, although by some miracle we managed to clear up the mess before Mum and Dad came home!

1 hour ago, DarkFruitsRam7 said:

Need I say?

The daft thing you did imo was post on a public forum your actions. I have done some pretty stupid things in my time however would never ever think about putting it out in the public domain. Share with your mates if they are of similar pee taking nature and would also tell you if they do something daft, but on a forum ?

Kudos to you for having the balls to share though ?

8 minutes ago, AdamRam said:

The daft thing you did imo was post on a public forum your actions. I have done some pretty stupid things in my time however would never ever think about putting it out in the public domain. Share with your mates if they are of similar pee taking nature and would also tell you if they do something daft, but on a forum ?

Kudos to you for having the balls to share though ?

To be fair, I've reached a point where I'd pretty much consider some of the people on here as mates. 

I'm quite an honest person so I didn't really think twice about saying it. Plus, the event was years ago when I was in the awkward teen stage (which I'm still not completely out of), so I don't feel bad about it. If you gave me the chance to take the post back though, I probably would. Especially since it's been used against me in a completely unrelated discussion!

Yesterday I kicked a sweet wrapper my lad had left on the floor (again) neglecting to consider it was next to a wall. I broke my toe. 

That is merely the 2nd daftest thing I did this week.

Stepped over the side of Swarkestone Bridge thinking there was a footpath on the other side. 

15 feet later my ankle realised there wasnt a footpath.

Another 100 yards further down and I would have been in the river.

50 minutes ago, sage said:

Yesterday I kicked a sweet wrapper my lad had left on the floor (again) neglecting to consider it was next to a wall. I broke my toe. 

That is merely the 2nd daftest thing I did this week.

Is the wall ok?

Sitting an exam for Mensa (honestly), there’s a break halfway through (there are 2 tests). There were 3 jugs on a table, one full of lemon juice, one for of orange juice, one full of water. I had a glass full of orange juice and sat back down at my desk. Took a sip thinking ‘this is rather sweet’ and had drank the whole glass before it twigged that it was really cordial and I should’ve mixed it with the water. 

There were 3 tests that day, not 2.I thought, ‘I’ll get my coat.’

I passed though, with a score of 155, so definitive proof, if ever it was needed, that high IQ does not equal smart. 

When i was 15 we went out Roo shooting early one morning (no, not something Dark Fruits Ram 7 would do) and after getting covered in blood thought it would be a great joke to cover my head and shoulders in blood and stagger into mum and dad's bedroom saying i'd been shot. Took along time to live that one down. Then i could tell you about the time i caught and bagged a Tassie Devil, the cartoons don't do these little suckers justice!

1 minute ago, TigerTedd said:

Took a sip thinking ‘this is rather sweet’ and had drank the whole glass before it twigged that it was really cordial and I should’ve mixed it with the water

Are you Theresa May?

2 minutes ago, Stagtime said:

When i was 15 we went out Roo shooting early one morning

I did that. But it was very late at night - we got picked up at midnight and spent hours out there in a landy with guns and a couple of pit bulls for the pigs. Seeing a pigs life drain out of its eyes while some aussie nob slits it throat and discards it for being too small to sell will always stay with me. Thankfully on that night we didn't kill a roo.

7 minutes ago, Pastinaak said:

I did that. But it was very late at night - we got picked up at midnight and spent hours out there in a landy with guns and a couple of pit bulls for the pigs. Seeing a pigs life drain out of its eyes while some aussie nob slits it throat and discards it for being too small to sell will always stay with me. Thankfully on that night we didn't kill a roo.

I've never done it as "sport" just part of country living ,keeps numbers manageable while being good dog food.

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