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What’s the Daftest thing you’ve done?


Coneheadjohn

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1 minute ago, Stagtime said:

I've never done it as "sport" just part of country living ,keeps numbers manageable while being good dog food.

Yeah I know mate I've got no problem with it at all. I was actually a vegetarian  at the time so I really struggled with it. Now I eat bacon but still struggle with the reality of it - I'm a massive hypocrite. 

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3 minutes ago, Pastinaak said:

Yeah I know mate I've got no problem with it at all. I was actually a vegetarian  at the time so I really struggled with it. Now I eat bacon but still struggle with the reality of it - I'm a massive hypocrite. 

It's something i couldn't do now since i became a city slicker and a big softie. Now i just do crazy things like buy airfares for  Wembley without match tickets sorted or decide to do Loony Dook in Edinburgh after New Years. 

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11 minutes ago, Stagtime said:

I've never done it as "sport" just part of country living ,keeps numbers manageable while being good dog food.

Actually one of the daftest ossie animal related things I've done was when we caught a cage of yabbis and I boiled them up in an inch of water because I didn't have a proper pan. Talk about your slow painful deaths. The last one in the sink fought like crazy when I tried to get him because he'd heard the screams and he knew what was coming...

I've done some horrible things. Mind you ive never drank undiluted cordial like @TigerTedd. Nutter.

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1 minute ago, Pastinaak said:

Actually one of the daftest ossie animal related things I've done was when we caught a cage of yabbis and I boiled them up in an inch of water because I didn't have a proper pan. Talk about your slow painful deaths. The last one in the sink fought like crazy when I tried to get him because he'd heard the screams and he knew what was coming...

I've done some horrible things. Mind you ive never drank undiluted cordial like @TigerTedd. Nutter.

Hope it wasn't red cordial.

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Not necessarily daft as in my fault, but I did somehow contrive to dislocate my knee picking up a sandwich off the counter at subway a few weeks back...

I Truly am the height of male physique.

I have a few things I’ve said in... inappropriate situations as well. Such as calling myself “ducking disabled” for failing to solve a maths problem to my mate in a lift, neglecting to notice the person in a wheelchair next to me. I also ironically used the term “that’s gay” in a conversation with a bloke I met at uni who I later found out was....... yeah... you guessed it. Suffice to say he never spoke to me again, and it took me a while to figure out why until I realised. I’ve tried to be a lot more careful with mouth since, naturally.

Also decided it would be a good idea to have a basketball match in my dorm on the year 11 school French trip, fired a shot at the makeshift hoop on the back of the door before it opened. Thinking it was one of my mates out to piss my off, I yelled “duck off you Bamford!” Before the door opened to promptly reveal the teacher on the trip. As if my shouting wasn’t bad enough, the whole floor was in a mess and there were two other blokes with their arses out against a wall ready for a game of dead arse. Went well.

Ive got so much I could put in here but can’t remember right now. I’ll be a regular visitor.

 

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12 hours ago, Gap tooth ram said:

Is this going to turn into one of those threads where everything daft was always  "a mate".  Like the time "a mate" went to A&E with something showing up on an xray where it shouldn't be?

***disclaimer - this is neither me nor "a mate"***

But I guess it was a "MATE" that put it there

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Quite a lot - I did once tipped an ashtray into a pint and drank it for a bet,  Also bought some flowers when I was thirteen to bring round to a girlfriends house.  Thought it might impress her mum who was making us tea. Unfortunatly there were some lilies in there and the pollen rubbed all over my face on the bus .   It made an impression alright, her mum was pissing herself .  Looked a total Bamford all evening - you cannot wash that stuff off.

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On 01/08/2019 at 01:23, Andicis said:

Drove on the wrong side of the road on my driving test. Bit awkward in the car after that one.

My stepson almost hit another car, instructor had to grab the wheel to prevent an accident. 

Rest of the test was a bit less tense, as he was pretty sure he wasn't going to pass. 

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Being persuaded to have one more pint by a couple of mates instead of getting a kebab and then a taxi home. I met my partner that night whilst downing that one last pint. 18 years later and we're still together. She describes that night as fate. For me it has been more fatal than fate. Most of my hair has dropped out in that 18 years and I now walk around looking like I have a match ball under my shirt. 

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21 minutes ago, Steve How Hard? said:

Being persuaded to have one more pint by a couple of mates instead of getting a kebab and then a taxi home. I met my partner that night whilst downing that one last pint. 18 years later and we're still together. She describes that night as fate. For me it has been more fatal than fate. Most of my hair has dropped out in that 18 years and I now walk around looking like I have a match ball under my shirt. 

What a load o' tosh!

I'd wager the reality is more like:

"The last 18 years have been the happiest of my life.  Without her, I'm sure ALL my hair would have fallen out by now.  I have a big sack of contentment under my shirt, and since that fateful night, not once have I ever fancied going out for a pint with my mates"

 

Some blokes are so blokey, they can't bear to admit the truth in front of their mates!

#steveisinluurve    :-)

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20 minutes ago, Mucker1884 said:

What a load o' tosh!

I'd wager the reality is more like:

"The last 18 years have been the happiest of my life.  Without her, I'm sure ALL my hair would have fallen out by now.  I have a big sack of contentment under my shirt, and since that fateful night, not once have I ever fancied going out for a pint with my mates"

 

Some blokes are so blokey, they can't bear to admit the truth in front of their mates!

#steveisinluurve    ?

That is almost word for word how I describe it when in earshot of the missus. 

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As a lad I was scrumping (nicking apples off a tree) in an Orchard, heard the owner coming so stayed "hidden" up the tree, my mate  scarpered.

Then the owner starts blasting at Jackdaws in the trees with a .410 shotgun. Scared doesn't begin to describe it. Years later he told me he knew I was there all along and wanted to put "a bit of a scare into me". Still he never told my dad or that would have been even worse!

Different times.

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