Duracell

Not dumb at all. There are different completions within the tour.
General classification (GC) is the yellow jersey competition and is the aggregate time over the whole event.
Green Jersey (Points/Sprinters competition) - most points gets the green. Points are awarded at intermediate and stage finish sprints. Biggest points are at sprint finish stages. Riders who excel at this usually aren't good at the climbing and lose loads of time on the mountain stages.
King of the mountains (Polka dot, KOM, Climbers competition) points are awarded for the first riders over the top of a categorised climb, more points for bigger hills, obviously. Sometimes the yellow jersey holder will also be the Kom (will wear yellow)
Top young rider (white jersey) - GC but only riders below 25 years old.
Bonus seconds - at stages finishes the first fewriders get some bonus time towards their GC classification.
Timing works by giving the whole group the same time as the first across the line in that group.
Teams usually work to help their top GC guy (Sky/ineos were the best at this). Teams who aren't likely to get good GC placing usually try to get stage wins either through sprints or breakaways on stages where the GC guys are all just worrying about each other.
Lesser riders generally are called"domestic" and work to help the teams stars, however they're also expected to go in breakaways sometimes to get the sponsors some TV time.
I hope this helps, there's loads of tactics and things going on on every stage, even if the main story of the day is this guy,that break or a sprint.
Improved professionalism has generally meant buccaneering attacks by one or a few riders are less likely to succeed than in the past.
 
 

Quick and easy answer:  the yellow jersey is awarded for the lowest cumulative time in the race, the green jersey reflects points gained for high placings on each stage and intermediate "hot spots", especially during the flat stages of the Tour. Effectively, the green jersey is a race within a race for the finishers / sprinters. Over the course of the race though, they will end up a long way behind the cumulative leader (yellow jersey) as the latter will usually tear chunks of time out of the bigger lads in the mountains. Probably made that clear as muck ?
As for today, fancying Pog for a big move. There be monsters in them hills ?

Can I ask a few dumb questions? Well, I'm going to ask it anyway. I've got Covid so I'm gonna watch loads.
I love following Le Tour casually, but one thing always spoils my viewing. How come the green jersey rider is not winning overall? I don't get it.
How can the person with the most points - which suggests the highest average finishing position - not be winning overall? Is it that every single year, the green jersey rider's stage defeats are so bad, it prohibits him from having the quickest time overall? 
Second question: the yellow jersey rider usually seems to be somewhere in the peloton, typically nearer the front. But how come that means they end up several minutes ahead of the entire field? And how can I follow that pattern developing as I follow the tour?

Really glad this story comes with such a helpful visual. It was unclear from the first sentence exactly what was happening but now I can see that Cardiff's plan is for him to leave Derby - hence the big red cross - and make a move to Cardiff, as referenced by the big green arrow, pointing to Cardiff City's badge.
For those of you unsure what would happen next, he'd sign a contract with Cardiff, hence the cartoon image of a contract in the bottom left.

Really glad this story comes with such a helpful visual. It was unclear from the first sentence exactly what was happening but now I can see that Cardiff's plan is for him to leave Derby - hence the big red cross - and make a move to Cardiff, as referenced by the big green arrow, pointing to Cardiff City's badge.
For those of you unsure what would happen next, he'd sign a contract with Cardiff, hence the cartoon image of a contract in the bottom left.

Plenty of room at the back of the bus for any Gareth latecomers to hop on.
All aboard for Rome.

We've had Bahrain, Portugal, Spain and to some extent France as direct head-to-head battles. Yesterday was the first time that Verstappen was clearly in front of Hamilton. Plenty to look forward to still!
The gap between Verstappen/Perez and Hamilton/Bottas is scary. At each race, they're essentially fast enough to have an extra pitstop on their team-mates. 
Hamilton has proven that he doesn't need the outright fastest car to win, but neither does Verstappen. I know it's disappointing that Mercedes are seemingly falling behind, but I still think it will ebb and flow. Hamilton typically hits his best form - and set up - in the second half of the season.

Oh I'm definitely still enjoying it, I just think it was closer at the start of the season but I guess what I am seeing is a gap seems to be emerging and I don't think that Mercedes have a plan for this season to close that so I suspect that the last race will become more the norm than some of the closer races earlier on. Agree completely re the gap between the drivers. Max and Lewis manage to wring out every last bit from their cars and that's what makes the difference. I just hope that Mercedes can make a few tweaks to give Hamilton a car that will keep him in the mix rather than just hoping for a Verstappen/Red Bull mistake.
I've been really looking forward to a point where we have such parity in the cars that it's a nail-biter every race but the needle just seems to have swung a little too far the other way as it stands. Hope I'm wrong, I really want to see these two going at each other.

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

What's the lad who made the 'meme' of Mel pulling the strings of the other clubs and the EFL up to now? 

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

What's the lad who made the 'meme' of Mel pulling the strings of the other clubs and the EFL up to now? 

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

I'm looking forward to finding out exactly where our defeats will be taking place each weekend.

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

It’s remarkable that in one transfer window under this ownership and leadership, we spent more than Borussia Dortmund.
We’ve broken our transfer record. Twice.
While the legality of what we have done is up for debate, the fact it was a high stakes gamble is not. We had half a decade to get promoted before the losses caught up with us, and we didn’t get promoted.
 
The main reason we are in this mess is that vast sums of money has been spent on players, management and compensation, none of which has made the footballing side of the club any better than it was in 2014. It’s kept us competitive for most of that time, granted, but it’s a hopelessly inefficient way of doing it fraught with risk.
Just because the EFL have behaved abhorrently does not mean that we can’t look inward and acknowledge the reckless mismanagement that has squandered tens of millions of pounds for zero gain.

I'm looking forward to finding out exactly where our defeats will be taking place each weekend.

you just know that the easiest month of the year will be the first one when we are at our weakest